Getting nervous about missing family and stuff

[bigboss1984 8]

Hey guys

So anyone who's moved got any tips on how to deal with the initial couple of weeks where I'll inevitably miss my family? Been thinking about it alot the past couple of days and man, is it putting a big downer on me!

[Georgia16 2,858]

Read in this forum. It's among other thing about that

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/forum/15-moving-to-the-us-and-your-new-life-in-america/

[bigboss1984 8]

Thanks Georgia - I think the key is to keep myself busy, luckily whilst I'm waiting for my SSN for my driving license and stuff our apartment is only a short walk to a subway station which goes directly into Philadelphia

[Georgia16 2,858]

Thanks Georgia - I think the key is to keep myself busy, luckily whilst I'm waiting for my SSN for my driving license and stuff our apartment is only a short walk to a subway station which goes directly into Philadelphia

That's nice Maybe find a group on FB with UK people in that area. I'm sure there are plenty and having friends from the same country can maybe help you

[bigboss1984 8]

That's nice Maybe find a group on FB with UK people in that area. I'm sure there are plenty and having friends from the same country can maybe help you

I've been in a few bands over in the UK but put guitar down for a while, tempted to take it back up and join a band when I move haha.

Plus I'm big into the gym, and have done several martial arts in the past so I'm probably gonna take up a martial art as Philly has alot of good trainers in the area from what I've read

I think key is definitely to keep busy

[Georgia16 2,858]

I've been in a few bands over in the UK but put guitar down for a while, tempted to take it back up and join a band when I move haha.

Plus I'm big into the gym, and have done several martial arts in the past so I'm probably gonna take up a martial art as Philly has alot of good trainers in the area from what I've read

I think key is definitely to keep busy

Yep. But I think everyone in here who has made the move can relate to being homesick and it's totally fine to feel that way

But we'll all be fine

[dwarfer 10]

In my experience, the first few weeks, and even months, are not so much the problem - things will be new and exciting. You'll be learning about new systems and a new way of life, more-or-less....and that will keep you preoccupied.

It's once you're comfortable enough to know your way around (literally and metaphorically) and things aren't new and exciting any more, and you've kind of got into the daily habits of life that you miss your family, because they won't be part of the daily habits of your life like they once were.

Unless you're a naturally 'busy, busy, busy person', I think it will be hard to keep making yourself busy in the long-term in order to stave off homesickness.

I'm lucky, that I don't really suffer from home-sickness, and was largely fine living away from home for years at a time, but these are some things that I found that helped me when I did need it.

• Make friends outside of your partner - have 'your own life' just as you would if your fiance moved to the UK.
• Find some podcasts/TV shows/sport that you enjoy in the UK, and make sure to access them on a regular basis once you're living in the US (I was surprised how much I missed hearing my own accent after a long time).
• Figure out what simple material stuff you'll miss from home (food is my prime example) and make sure you have some on hand, or know where to get it.
• Set up a regular skype schedule with your close family. That way, you'll have a routine into which 'seeing them' occurs. If they don't skype, make sure you both make a time to call regularly.
• If you can afford it, book a ticket home, but not for a while...Going home when you feel homesick isn't a solution (in my opinion)...you need to make Philly your home. So don't book a ticket for six month's time...Plan to go home to visit, but in a year - once you've had time to establish your home in the US.
• Make sure that your fiance is willing and happy to make "her home" into "your home"...there's nothing worse than coming home and feeling like you're dropping into someone else's life.

Good luck!

[Nich-Nick 3,354]

Think about getting a Vonage.co.uk plan for £8/month.

Pick your UK number.

Bring the box with you and plug into your US router and plug any landline phone into the Vonage box.

Your friends and family call your UK number and it rings in your US home. No codes are dial arounds. Unlimited minutes. .They are calling a UK phone. You can use the same phone to call their landlines. There is a fee to call UK mobiles.

There is a setup to simultaneously ring your mobile when your UK Vonage phone rings. But because it is transferring from a a "UK phone number" to a US mobile, you would need the Premium Package for £11/month which allows unlimed calls to the US.

This Vonage thing is good for those with UK parents or grandparents or kids who don't have smart phones or Skype or What's app. They simply dial a UK phone number from any phone.

[bigboss1984 8]

Think about getting a Vonage.co.uk plan for £8/month.

Pick your UK number.

Bring the box with you and plug into your US router and plug any landline phone into the Vonage box.

Your friends and family call your UK number and it rings in your US home. No codes are dial arounds. Unlimited minutes. .They are calling a UK phone. You can use the same phone to call their landlines. There is a fee to call UK mobiles.

There is a setup to simultaneously ring your mobile when your UK Vonage phone rings. But because it is transferring from a a "UK phone number" to a US mobile, you would need the Premium Package for £11/month which allows unlimed calls to the US.

This Vonage thing is good for those with UK parents or grandparents or kids who don't have smart phones or Skype or What's app. They simply dial a UK phone number from any phone.

This sounds like a great idea, thank you!

[Nich-Nick 3,354]

This sounds like a great idea, thank you!

We get the occasional wrong number and I confuse them a bit on purpose.

British accent: 'Ello, may I speak to John?

American accent (me): No John here. You've reached [name] in Houston, Texas.

...Silence...

Bloody 'ell. I don't know how that happened. Texas, you say?

I don't explain.

[3rd 84]

I get your concern, entirely. I found everything fine for the first month or two, then the homesickness kicked in. I think the closer you are with family, it's harder to get accustomed to and inevitably you'll have moments where you think on those back home. My biggest piece of advice is not necessarily to stay busy, but to keep in contact as much as you're able. Skype and FaceTime were real lifesavers for me, and I still don't have a US number but had a mobile on 3 with the plan where you can use your phone in America like you're still in England. This has meant that I get 3G still, plus texts and phone calls.

If you're going to work, and get your authorisation, I'd recommend looking for work as soon as you are able. I am a freelancer, but have been tempted to try and fill more of my time with a full-time job. Friends are really important too! Luckily I get along with all my husband's friends, but I have managed to make my own through my hobbies. My main thing holding me back is my lack of a driving license (which I'm working on) so I'd also recommend trying for that once you can too.

Good luck with feeling at home in a new country. It takes a while, but with your spouse at your side it feels a lot easier than going it alone!

[dwheels76 5,469]

**Topic moved to Moving to US forum since this is not about a K1 Visa but about moving to US and adjusting**

[lost_at_sea 995]

You'll be busy, but share the busy stuff with folks back home. I took a lot of photos and made videos for my mum, for example, and sent funny "look how silly americans are" photos to my friends - even just of mundane stuff I noticed in the apartment or on the street. Keeping people you'll miss in the loop kind of takes the edge of it, imho.

+1 to working and making new friends and colleagues. Find out what's in your neighbourhood and start getting a feel for where your new regular favourite spots are going to be. Unpack and mingle your stuff in everything, make it smell like home (I found American apartments funny smelling at first - anyone else notice that? I think it's the cleaning products). Make sure you have all the required tea-making equipment immediately.

Oh and guilty secret: I watched Eastenders religiously for the first 3 months that I moved, just for the normality factor.

Edited April 18, 2016 by lost_at_sea

[3rd 84]

You'll be busy, but share the busy stuff with folks back home. I took a lot of photos and made videos for my mum, for example, and sent funny "look how silly americans are" photos to my friends - even just of mundane stuff I noticed in the apartment or on the street. Keeping people you'll miss in the loop kind of takes the edge of it, imho.

+1 to working and making new friends and colleagues. Find out what's in your neighbourhood and start getting a feel for where your new regular favourite spots are going to be. Unpack and mingle your stuff in everything, make it smell like home (I found American apartments funny smelling at first - anyone else notice that? I think it's the cleaning products). Make sure you have all the required tea-making equipment immediately.

Oh and guilty secret: I watched Eastenders religiously for the first 3 months that I moved, just for the normality factor.

This is great advice! My husband got our engagement as a video so my mum wasn't as upset that she missed it. I sent a huge pack of photos out to each member of our family also, which made me feel miles better that they had something physical.

I found a kettle at Walmart, but that thing is strong. It always blows the converter, so we have it plugged directly into the wall now, haha! But making sure to get your family to send you things you miss from home has been wonderful. Luckily I pick up Marmite and a few other bits when we visit World Market every month or so, but decent tea isn't as easy to come by (although I did discover Yorkshire Gold and PG Tips in some supermarkets). My husband actually ordered me a bunch of Clipper tea and digestive biscuits so I could feel at home, and it cheered me up no end!

I also do the same with Hollyoaks. I don't know why, it's terrible but it's just nice to have a bit of British TV on in the background.

[lost_at_sea 995]

I also do the same with Hollyoaks. I don't know why, it's terrible but it's just nice to have a bit of British TV on in the background.

Exactly! I still watch University Challenge, Only Connect and the occasional new sitcom when a friend recommends from UK TV.

In terms of tea, etc. Amazon isn't the cheapest, but they do pretty much carry *everything* these days. In emergencies, I have used Amazon to buy boxes of 100 Twinings Everyday teabags which only costs about $8.

I did laugh at the cost of Bird's custard powder though - picked up a tin in Tesco for 98p a couple weeks ago on a trip to London. It's, like, $6 on Amazon!

When my best friend visits me, he either brings me teabags or tins of Heinz baked beans (he uses the space in his luggage on the way back to return home to his gf with American novelty confectionary).

Edited April 18, 2016 by lost_at_sea