am loosing hope (merged)

[Boiler 44,855]

$733 would go a long way in Tunisia.

[Meg&Andrew 297]

Getting a visitor visa from Tunsia is highly unlikely / sorry but we must speak truthfully / you are muslim and even a K1 visa would probably be denied.

What you need (if at all possible ) is for her to fly to Tunisia

Try to speak on cam to the mother / get her to trust you / it is your only hope / i know Tunisia is safe / i visited for a month traveling from Tunis to the blue city to Hammanmet where i stayed / but most Americans now are afraid to travel to the countries of ISlam and to let a daughter go without supervision is really scary to a mother especially since the daughter lashes out of control as you post

Yes, everybody can get a passport. No, not everybody can travel alone; if the mental illness affects their social skills and leads to odd behaviour then it is quite possible that the person in question will not even be allowed on a plane on his/her own. And the mother would question why you would put your gf in a position where she could be a victim as many with disabilities are the subject of attacks ( stealing from them by preditors is highly likely).

I wish you the best but your situation is a hard and difficult one. You may have to give up the idea. and this is coming from someone who fought immigration for 6 years to get my muslim husband his visa. As I am an advocate for phycially mentally and emotionally handicapped people for the last 20 years , you need to see the concerns of the mother as your only chance is to win her respect and trust and ask her to travel with the daughter.

A bit off subject, but since when does being Muslim mean you can't get a tourist or k1 visa?

[Boiler 44,855]

A bit off subject, but since when does being Muslim mean you can't get a tourist or k1 visa?

A reference to additional security?

[Amine87 7]

I'm a muslim and I got both tourist and k1 visas without any troubles... everything depends on the person applying and which country. I wouldn't give a visa to someone who has no job, no income, no education, can't even speak his own language properly (arabic), with mising papers, never traveled outside of his country, etc...

Edited April 17, 2016 by Amine87

[aaron2020 11,651]

$733 would go a long way in Tunisia.

The disability check would end if she moves to Tunisia. Disability checks are issued by individual states. If you don't live in a particular state, you can not get a check.

[Boiler 44,855]

Good to know

[Amine87 7]

You have to think about her medications, can you cover her health problems? can you keep her in good health?, Tunisia healthcare system isn't like in the US. Plus she has a daughter to take care of. You'll have to keep 2 persons happy. I suggest you get a better job, take your time to know her mother and her family, make them understand you wanna make her daughter happy, nd not just take her from them like that suddenly. You know the girl for only few months, I kinda understand their position. And more than everything pray hard, inchalah you'll be with the one you love sonner or later

[aaron2020 11,651]

Hello sir.i really need to know how can i get to my fiancee in the Us.we are planning to get married and she was suppose to come to my country Tunisia so we can be together but her mother disapprove and did not accept that.my fiancee is an adult but she have some disability so her mom is the one responsible for her and her little baby and she is threatening her not let her see her daughter again if she come to me even if its impossible cause her mom takes her money every month.the government pay her 733$ every moth for her disabilities.so we agreed that i have to go there and we can get married then move to my country but i dont know how can i get a green card.i love her so much and i dont want to loose her and am really loosing hope.so if you can give me some advice i will appreciate that.thank you in advance

Hi,

Based on the information that you have provided, here are the obstacles that I see;

1. Your girlfriend would need to meet you in order to apply for any immigration benefit you. Unless you can send her the $135 for a US passport and a plane ticket, she is unlikely to come see you.

2. Even if you marry, she does not meet the financial requirements for a household of 3 to bring you to the US. She would need a Joint Sponsor. Her mother is probably out.

3. If she moves to Tunisia, she will need the child's father's permission to allow the child to move to Tunisia.

4. Her disability check will end if she moves out of the US. You will need to fully support her.

Best of luck.

[Boiler 44,855]

Hi,

Based on the information that you have provided, here are the obstacles that I see;

1. Your girlfriend would need to meet you in order to apply for any immigration benefit you. Unless you can send her the $135 for a US passport and a plane ticket, she is unlikely to come see you.

2. Even if you marry, she does not meet the financial requirements for a household of 3 to bring you to the US. She would need a Joint Sponsor. Her mother is probably out.

3. If she moves to Tunisia, she will need the child's father's permission to allow the child to move to Tunisia.

4. Her disability check will end if she moves out of the US. You will need to fully support her.

Best of luck.

He does not want to move to the US, he has a good job etc he does not want to leave.

[IguanaCouple 26]

OP: If she moved to Tunisia her disability check will end. You will be financially responsible for her and her daughter. You say you can't pay for a flight how do you think you could afford the healthcare for a person with disability and her daughter? As a female with temper issues due to her disability, her behavior may not be acceptable in Tunisia and in any case she will all but be unemployable.

$733 is not a lot in the U.S. It's not even enough for 1 person to survive on leave alone 2 so her mother is justified in taking the money so she can care for them both.

If you are looking to move to the U.S. with a green card obtained through marriage at some point, I'd like to suggest that it's a very costly and long process. Someone will have to pay for it and someone will have to financially sponsor you. (Someone who makes money not your fiancee)

[town&country 9]

Merrytooth.i appreci1te your concern but i am ready to take my chances with her.and believe all what her mom cares about is the 733$ my fiancee gets.thats what my fiancee sais in fact.and btw she is suffering a lot and hate life with her family they keep yelling and sometimes hitting her.

You are getting in over your head. You say all her mother cares about is the $733.00 a month in govt. assistance? You don't really know this to be true, you don't really understand anything about your cyber girlfriends family's situation, with her having this damage from an accident and also a little daughter. Wow. this is very complicated and you think you know best. Puleeze. Stop it. Back off. come visit her if you can get a visitor visa, which I bet you probably cannot.

Edited April 18, 2016 by town&country

[JFH 12,189]

It's harsh to say all her mother cares about is the disability check that comes each month. Her mother has likely had to lose her previous lifestyle, maybe even had to give up work to care for this young woman and her child (what does the child's father do? Is he sending child support? Does he even see the child? Don't criticise her mother when it would appear the child's father is doing even less). Caring for a disabled person is very hard work and involves a lot of sacrifice.

I hate to say it - but does she really love you or is she looking for an escape from her mother's "control"? She knows very little about you. You've never even met. I would be concerned if a friend said to me she wanted to move to a foreign country to marry a man she's never met and take her young child with her. And if that friend were disabled I would be even more concerned.

You were planning to bring the woman and child to Tunisia so I assume you researched the cost of flights but now you say you can only afford to visit her once. How do you expect to provide for an extra two people if your funds are so limited? Is the child of school age? How will she go to school and get a good education if she can't even understand a word that the teacher is saying? What treatment is available for the woman's medical condition in your country and what does it cost? If her mother receives money to care for her I am guessing she doesn't work because she has to care for her full time. How will you be able to care for her if you have to work every day?

My advice, get a visit visa and a plane ticket to see her. Go with her to her medical appointments and talk to the doctors. Stay with her and care for her like her mother does. Learn all that needs to be done. Get to know her child. Prove to her mother how serious you are about this. Research what provisions and services there are for people with this disability in your country. You said you don't have much money. If you love her, you'll find a way. If you really want this, you'll do whatever it takes - get a second job, move into a cheaper apartment, sell your car, etc. Many of us here have had to make personal sacrifices to be able to cover the costs of travelling to see our husbands/wives. I moved into one room and changed jobs to be able to see my husband as often as I do. It's what I had to do.

Edited April 18, 2016 by JFH

[Michael and Ganna 104]

You have a tough situation here. It is very hard to love someone on the internet, most people here will also tell you that. Face time is very much different than cyber time. There are many threads here on broken relationships.......people not really knowing each other well enough before getting married. A foreign relationship requires a bit of a tough skin, patience, understanding, trust and love for a person of normal mental ability.

Have you really thought this out? What happens if her disability gets worse with age? Can you care for her unconditionally....and her child. Maybe in her fits of anger, she will want to terminate the relationship....Things will be very stressful, and will intensify when you change her normal surrounding (moving to a foreign country).

I truly commend your noble intentions....But I think you really need to look what is in your future, her future, and the childs future. Today may be a bed of roses, eventually the thorns will hurt...

I wish you the best of luck .....

[Tommal 28]

if your gf met with an accident while you were in a serious relationship.. its ok to get married her and look-after her and dedicate all of your life for her.

But here, its very different situation and that's why members can not believe you...you are trying to marry a mentally disable mother.

Have you ever thought how you are going to live 30, 40 more years with her?

Can you dedicate your whole life for her? And also to help someone in her condition, first you have to be financially and mentally very much stable.

OR are you going to get the GC and leave her? If you have the slightest idea, please don't play with a helpless woman.

[Boiler 44,855]

I have seen many many threads from couples who have not met on VJ, or have met very briefly.

So nothing new or unusual.