Need HELP with your opinions!!!!!!

[archie07 0]

After watching this post grow and grow, it is funny how it includes not being sure about this lady, giving her money, asking for it back, her not being happy because she didn't get a $1200 dress, her sleeping on the couch after their 1st sexual encounter, her ending the visit 2 days early with him, asking for some kind of marriage agreement to be financially compensated if there is a divorce, absolutely each other not actually being in love, etc. It goes on and on with this guy! Asks for advice after telling us all the ####### within this relationship. And then, actually trying to defend the relationship for some oddball reason!

The man is 62 years old. Going by his own posts, he's fairly set in his ways and no matter what anyone here says, he's going to do what he wants. Regardless, all the answers to his doubts are hitting him over the head! Even though he is trying to force something to be there when it's obvious, in his own words, that they will love each other in time.

This guy is'nt going to see the light no matter what advise anyone gives him. When she gets her green card and runs off I hope he is'nt one of the ones that go running to congress complaining who make it hard for the rest of us who work so hard getting our spouses and loved ones here.

[J&D_anon 0]

Um, excuse me all but the OP said:

"In your opinions, was i wrong for asking for my money back when she wouldn't come to bed? "

I find both parties here disturbing. She may have been looking for a sugar daddy - but he treated her like a #######.

well, most of the time I agree with what you say. But this time I don't.

He said, he asked for the money back, because she didn't want to come to bed. He DIDN'T say, that he wanted to ask for his money back, because she didn't want to have sex with him.

So, if you spend a short time together and you already sleep separated, then something is wrong. I guess that was what he wondered about. Why should he give her $1,000, if she get's upset, because he didn't buy her a $1,200 dress?

In my eyes, there is nothing wrong with asking for his money back and he didn't treat her like a #######. He was just concerned about her true 'feelings' towards him. And obviously she doesn't have any!!!

Diana

[J&D_anon 0]

yes, this relationship is unique and does not have "LOVE" in it yet, and i say YET!!!! We both have needs and can fill the other person's needs. Love can and will work its way into our life. Who of you want to play "GOD" and say it can't work. Sounds like many of you do.

So, you agree to marry her in hopes of later finding love? Putting the carriage before the horse, aren't we?

This sounds more like a type of business partnership.

BUT., whatever floats your boat.

Here's another: John (as in, one who offers money for sex)

Who told? :-(

- John

Edited March 16, 2007 by John&Diana

[JoeMama 0]

BUT., whatever floats your boat.

- John

It should be more like, "Whatever SINKS your boat"! Titantic fiancee' visa in the process! It will go down on it's maiden voyage!

Edited March 16, 2007 by altimixdj

[genem 0]

Wow!!!! How many would suffer foot in mouth if she were to tell her side.

Yes, everyone should realize that i am only telling my side of the story and she does not have the opportunity to tell hers. Yes, i realize i am forcing the relationship. But i do care about this woman very much, and, because of the language barrier, i feel i do not completely understand her feelings toward me. She started out the perfect match and only after our problems in St. Pete was their any problem at all. She came into the St. Pete meeting with a great attitude and only after our discussion on the 4th day did it turn bad. I blame myself for most of those problems because i did not understand her feelings toward me, which i still believe were honest and good, except for the dress she wanted. And that problem i blame on her not realizing the value of a dollar because she grew up in a small town. She is poor and was looking forward to coming to St. Pete to buy a new dress. I don't want to defend her too much, but i assure all of you that she does have a side to the story that none of you know about. I feel this woman is a good woman and not in it for my money. I do appreciate most people's comments because it gives me things to consider and think about, however, i do feel some of you are making harsh comments when you do not know all the facts.

[NYGirl 0]

Wow!!!! How many would suffer foot in mouth if she were to tell her side.

Yes, everyone should realize that i am only telling my side of the story and she does not have the opportunity to tell hers. Yes, i realize i am forcing the relationship. But i do care about this woman very much, and, because of the language barrier, i feel i do not completely understand her feelings toward me. She started out the perfect match and only after our problems in St. Pete was their any problem at all. She came into the St. Pete meeting with a great attitude and only after our discussion on the 4th day did it turn bad. I blame myself for most of those problems because i did not understand her feelings toward me, which i still believe were honest and good, except for the dress she wanted. And that problem i blame on her not realizing the value of a dollar because she grew up in a small town. She is poor and was looking forward to coming to St. Pete to buy a new dress. I don't want to defend her too much, but i assure all of you that she does have a side to the story that none of you know about. I feel this woman is a good woman and not in it for my money. I do appreciate most people's comments because it gives me things to consider and think about, however, i do feel some of you are making harsh comments when you do not know all the facts.

She definitely has a GOOD taste wanting a dress for $1200.00

i work and have a great job but i would never buy myself a dress for that kind of money.......that kind of dress won't be worn more than once, guarantee. It's almost the price for the wedding dress. $1200.00 is a lot for us americans hence for russians, it's way too much if you convert it into rubles. She sounds like a woman with her own principles. Just be careful! Will she always sleep on a different couch when she won't get what she wants? Just think about it and make the right decision.

Edited March 16, 2007 by NYGirl

[TimsDaisy 0]

OP says: "I feel this woman is a good woman and not in it for my money. I do appreciate most people's comments because it gives me things to consider and think about, however, i do feel some of you are making harsh comments when you do not know all the facts."

Dude! What in the heck do you want from everyone here? You're worried that her wanting a marriage agreement means she's in it for the money. Okay, so maybe slow down. Then you worry about whether you did the right thing asking for the money back, and lots of people say yes, some say no. Okay, so take that. Then like over half your information about this is based on money concerns and what she asks for and what you're scared she'd get in a divorce and what to put in the prenup. But you believe she isn't in it for the money? #######?

But what is the point of posing a question if all you do is go "but but but!" to all the answers - selectively including details where you feel like it and then taking offense when people respond honestly based on the information you provide?

If you think it's going to work - then go ahead and get married - with or without a prenup. But WHY CONTINUE TO ARGUE with the people who's input you have been soliciting from the start?

Seriously - you're going to marry her, so marry her. We're not going to try to make you feel better for doing it. Time for you to own your own decisions. Decide you will be happy and proceed.

Edited March 16, 2007 by TimsDaisy

[Fandango 1,439]

Wow!!!! How many would suffer foot in mouth if she were to tell her side.

Yes, everyone should realize that i am only telling my side of the story and she does not have the opportunity to tell hers. Yes, i realize i am forcing the relationship. But i do care about this woman very much, and, because of the language barrier, i feel i do not completely understand her feelings toward me. She started out the perfect match and only after our problems in St. Pete was their any problem at all. She came into the St. Pete meeting with a great attitude and only after our discussion on the 4th day did it turn bad. I blame myself for most of those problems because i did not understand her feelings toward me, which i still believe were honest and good, except for the dress she wanted. And that problem i blame on her not realizing the value of a dollar because she grew up in a small town. She is poor and was looking forward to coming to St. Pete to buy a new dress. I don't want to defend her too much, but i assure all of you that she does have a side to the story that none of you know about. I feel this woman is a good woman and not in it for my money. I do appreciate most people's comments because it gives me things to consider and think about, however, i do feel some of you are making harsh comments when you do not know all the facts.

omG...only after the 4th day did it turn bad? Well that's a different story altogether!

[Turboguy 6]

I have been trying to meet up with my fiancee every two months. We were not too excited about the Siberian winters so we went to Egypt in December and Thailand in Febuary. In Egypt the only thing my fiancee bought for herself was a bracelet for about $ 25.00. Actually she spent more on something for me using her own money. In Thailand she bought two beautiful tops and they were $ 8.00 each and she bought a wrap for about $ 20.00.

I will go along with perhaps she did not know the value of a dollar but most gals there know exactly what a dollar is worth. I think it is a read flag. I have met a number of high maintenence gals who wanted $ 400.00 boots within two hours on our first date, or an $ 800.00 coat Give her the benefit of the doubt this time if you wish. I would be watching her spending habits though.

If you get the wrong one you had better be rich. I have one friend who has been married now for a year and a half. The day she arrived he had to buy $ 800.00 in linens. Since then there have been cars, computers, $ 15,000 in dental work and that is just the start of the list.

[DA BOMB 1]

So what was the op's original question?

[genem 0]

ORIGINAL QUESTIONS:

In your opinions, was i wrong for asking for my money back when she wouldn't come to bed? Should i continue to try to make this work when i am wondering if she cares?

Ms. Bong, not sure very many read the questions.

[Fandango 1,439]

ORIGINAL QUESTIONS:

In your opinions, was i wrong for asking for my money back when she wouldn't come to bed? Should i continue to try to make this work when i am wondering if she cares?

Ms. Bong, not sure very many read the questions.

If you weren't so great in the sack, you shoulda deffo let her keep the money

All kidding aside...why are you asking us?? Seriously, you're old enough to know that you've already made your mind up, so just feel for your stones and do whatever it is you want.

Edited March 16, 2007 by LisaD

[PaulineA 1]

ORIGINAL QUESTIONS:

In your opinions, was i wrong for asking for my money back when she wouldn't come to bed? Should i continue to try to make this work when i am wondering if she cares?

Ms. Bong, not sure very many read the questions.

[/quote

genem,

It seems to me that your mind was already made up before you posted your question. Do what YOU feel is right. But, don't tell people that they are "thinking that they are God" for simply giving an opinion which you asked for. I wish you luck in life whatever happens, I hope it is good for you.

[Queen Jenn 0]

ORIGINAL QUESTIONS:

In your opinions, was i wrong for asking for my money back when she wouldn't come to bed? Should i continue to try to make this work when i am wondering if she cares?

Ms. Bong, not sure very many read the questions.

Ok, so here's my take on this. Yes, there are many on here who have STRONG opinions and are quite willing to share them. Freedom of speech, or whatever.

If you are wondering if she cares, then maybe you need to give each other more time. Maybe you could try telling her how you were feeling when you asked for the money back. COMMUNICATION between the two of you is the KEY.

Now, I don't mean to generalize, but most men have difficulty communicating with women. Maybe you could pick up a copy of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus (can't remember the author, sorry).

If you truly care about this woman, then I fully support your trying to make this relationship work. Maybe she doesn't understand the value of the dollar. Explain it to her. Let her know what your concerns are and be open to listening to her concerns. If she really cares for you, she will be open to making the relationship work.

Good luck!!!

[PaulineA 1]

ORIGINAL QUESTIONS:

In your opinions, was i wrong for asking for my money back when she wouldn't come to bed? Should i continue to try to make this work when i am wondering if she cares?

Ms. Bong, not sure very many read the questions.

If you weren't so great in the sack, you shoulda deffo let her keep the money

All kidding aside...why are you asking us?? Seriously, you're old enough to know that you've already made your mind up, so just feel for your stones and do whatever it is you want.

Feel for your stones? That's sound advice Lisa.