Need HELP with your opinions!!!!!!

[genem 0]

Reading the post in some topics, i decided to ask for help. I met my Fiancee 6 months ago on the internet. She was wanting badly to come to the USA. I was very lonely and looking for romance and companionship but i am 62, she 41. With that said, i met her in Russia for 4 days in 11/06. We hit it off. I met her again in 02/07. We talked, i gave her $1,000 in cash for expenses. She later asked some questionable questions & said she wanted a marriage agreement. I went to bed, she slept on sofa. I am laying in bed thinking this is our 1st sex & because i am a diabetic & don't perform very good, she is unhappy, plus i didn't buy her a $1,200 dress she wanted so she is unhappy, plus i am a diabetic, etc. I decided i should ask for the $1,000 back until i was more sure about her. So i got out of bed & got my money back. The next morning she left 2 days early so i asked for my ring back but she wouldn't give it. When i got home, i emailed & apologized, she accepted, but has been very cool since. Currently, i am needing a copy of her divorce papers for RFE1 but she hasn't faxed a copy to me in 3 days. In your opinions, was i wrong for asking for my money back when she wouldn't come to bed? Should i continue to try to make this work when i am wondering if she cares?

Signed, sad & worried

[Nanusia & Lukaszek 0]

Oh lord! Do you want us to feel bad for you because you couldn't perform? Seems your chick is not into you at all, she was in for the ring, the $1200 dress, and the idea of life in the US. Get over it, she already has, and get a new love into your life.

Sorry for being brutal, just being honest.

Also, why do you ask about the RFE? You are still pursuing this relationship?

Edited March 15, 2007 by Nanusia & Lukaszek

[Niels Bohr 72]

Hmm....She's almost 20 years younger than you are. Strange story.

Dammit. I wished I know you sooner. You sure are loaded. Anyway, don't mind the small humor. Seriously, you were too soon to trust someone who you met one time. Buying her a ring, giving her 1k dollars, and a 1200 dollar dress. She also got disappointed that you didn't buy her that dress. I hope that signaled a warning that she's not really into you. I maybe wrong. If I'm wrong, that's great. You can live with her happily ever after.

[Minya's wife 24]

I agree w/ the above poster....it does not sound like the girl you're pursuing loves you....only what you can buy or provide for her materially; i.e. fancy dresses, ring, and $$$.

As far as not faxing you her divorce records in a few days....given that she showed such selfish behavior, do you trust her? You would still want to bring her here and marry her? You've got a bigger heart than I would.

Maybe she hasn't faxed you the records because she's still married and hasn't divorced. A person that can be so callous as to take cash from you, want you to buy her expensive dresses and ask for a marriage contract which would prove the sincerity of "your intentions"....a person like that could be lying about being divorced.

I hope things work out for you for the best...but that's my two cents based on the original post.

-P

[Shub 78]

It's a sad fact that lots of Russian women are, well, phonies. I mean the ones on the Internet looking for men. Far from all are fakes, but a lot still are out for your passport and money (i.e. a way out of Russia), not for your love or even friendship. From what you've described it sounds to me like you unfortunately got one of the bad ones, but I can only speculate.

[gracy_byron 0]

Hi there, I feel bad when I was reading your post, Im also a girl and I will have to agree to what our other VJ members have said. Your girl isnt really in love with you, seems like she cares more about material things. But whats gonna happen though if you cant give her what she wants, she might likely leave you cause she's not happy. Im sorry.

[PaulineA 1]

Hi,

I really think all this woman wants is your money, and a life time ticket to the US. My advice is, forget about her, and don't part with your cash so easily.

[U.S. Wendy 0]

I, too, concur with the other VJers. This is just the beginning. If you start the K-1 process with this woman, you will most definitely find yourself regretting it and kicking yourself to boot!! Cut your losses and bail NOW because this may end up costing you A LOT more of money down the road, not to mention heart-ache. Please go google 'mail order bride russian scams' and do some research before you put anymore effort into this 'relationship'.

[Yodrak 7]

genem,

That says enough. She'd thought she'd found her ride but you wised up (or got lucky) in time.

Yodrak

Reading the post in some topics, i decided to ask for help. I met my Fiancee 6 months ago on the internet. She was wanting badly to come to the USA. I was very lonely and looking for romance and companionship .....

[ken and mintra 0]

Reading the post in some topics, i decided to ask for help. I met my Fiancee 6 months ago on the internet. She was wanting badly to come to the USA. I was very lonely and looking for romance and companionship but i am 62, she 41. With that said, i met her in Russia for 4 days in 11/06. We hit it off. I met her again in 02/07. We talked, i gave her $1,000 in cash for expenses. She later asked some questionable questions & said she wanted a marriage agreement. I went to bed, she slept on sofa. I am laying in bed thinking this is our 1st sex & because i am a diabetic & don't perform very good, she is unhappy, plus i didn't buy her a $1,200 dress she wanted so she is unhappy, plus i am a diabetic, etc. I decided i should ask for the $1,000 back until i was more sure about her. So i got out of bed & got my money back. The next morning she left 2 days early so i asked for my ring back but she wouldn't give it. When i got home, i emailed & apologized, she accepted, but has been very cool since. Currently, i am needing a copy of her divorce papers for RFE1 but she hasn't faxed a copy to me in 3 days. In your opinions, was i wrong for asking for my money back when she wouldn't come to bed? Should i continue to try to make this work when i am wondering if she cares?

Signed, sad & worried

You need to run as fast as you can away from this woman. Obvious fraud going on but you already know that or you wouldn't be writing. Cut your losses and move on.

[ladybug1 0]

i have not posted often, but as a woman i feel the need to respond to your post.

unfortunately for you, i don't this woman really wants to be with you. i strongly advise that you get out of this situation before you are out more money & more heartache... the fact that she left 2 days earlier than planned says a lot about her. I'm quite sure you spent a lot of money going there to see how and this is how she treats you??? of course, she is going to call back & be nice. she realized that she might be throwing away her "meal ticket" to the US. The age difference also bothers me a lot. I absolutely do not mean any disrespect to you, but I am a 42 year old woman & I would NEVER think of dating a 61-year-old man. Does this woman have children?? Does she want children?? If she is acting this way now before she gets what she really wants, a visa, how in the world is she going to act when you bring her over here??? I understand that you want to be generous to her & give her money & buy her things, but you need to ask yourself would she want to be with you if you weren't doing those things.. I think you seriously need to evaluate this "relationship". take a step back and take a very, very good look. I do not know this woman, but judging from your post i honestly think she's an opportunist & she is in this for all the wrong reasons. If she had any integrity she would have given you your money back when you asked for it & she absolutely would not have been asking you to buy her things. please, please think twice, three times & four times about what you're doing & don't waste anymore of your money. if you really feel the relationship is important to you, go visit her & don't give her ANY money or buy her ANYTHING & see how interested in you then... that will certainly be a test to see if she's interested in you, or if she's more interested in $$ and what you can offer her... It would be much easier to get out now than after you were married to her.

Good luck to you.. You're in my thoughts.

[Cdnwmn 0]

She was wanting badly to come to the USA.

Red flag in my opinion.

[Alex+R 0]

I know you want to hear something else, but you're clearly posting here because you know this isn't right. She's using you; find someone who loves you for you.

[genem 0]

i have not posted often, but as a woman i feel the need to respond to your post.

unfortunately for you, i don't this woman really wants to be with you. i strongly advise that you get out of this situation before you are out more money & more heartache... the fact that she left 2 days earlier than planned says a lot about her. I'm quite sure you spent a lot of money going there to see how and this is how she treats you??? of course, she is going to call back & be nice. she realized that she might be throwing away her "meal ticket" to the US. The age difference also bothers me a lot. I absolutely do not mean any disrespect to you, but I am a 42 year old woman & I would NEVER think of dating a 61-year-old man. Does this woman have children?? Does she want children?? If she is acting this way now before she gets what she really wants, a visa, how in the world is she going to act when you bring her over here??? I understand that you want to be generous to her & give her money & buy her things, but you need to ask yourself would she want to be with you if you weren't doing those things.. I think you seriously need to evaluate this "relationship". take a step back and take a very, very good look. I do not know this woman, but judging from your post i honestly think she's an opportunist & she is in this for all the wrong reasons. If she had any integrity she would have given you your money back when you asked for it & she absolutely would not have been asking you to buy her things. please, please think twice, three times & four times about what you're doing & don't waste anymore of your money. if you really feel the relationship is important to you, go visit her & don't give her ANY money or buy her ANYTHING & see how interested in you then... that will certainly be a test to see if she's interested in you, or if she's more interested in $$ and what you can offer her... It would be much easier to get out now than after you were married to her.

Good luck to you.. You're in my thoughts.

Thanks for all your opinions and thoughtfulness. I would like to add that i do have a copy of her divorce papers which i submitted one with the I-129F. But the copy i have is illegible & USCIS says i have to translate it into English so i asked her for a more legible copy which she has not sent. She is going to school full time & i wonder why if she plans to come to USA, she just enrolled for two months. She has not beat me out of any money to date and when i visited her in 11/06, she was very frugal with my money. But when i met her in 02/07, she seemed like a spender wanting a $1,200 dress. She settled for a $300 blouse, which is still a lot of money, but she was not happy. I also know she doesn't love me yet, but she has a 14 y.o. son and said she wanted a Dad for him, so i am hoping she will learn to love me. Thought i would add some more infor, it is hard to tell the whole story in one post. thanks again everyone, i am needing some encouragement to continue. But i am coming to realize that it may be a lost cause.

[SanFrancisco-BKK 0]

It's a sad fact that lots of Russian women are, well, phonies. I mean the ones on the Internet looking for men. Far from all are fakes, but a lot still are out for your passport and money (i.e. a way out of Russia), not for your love or even friendship. From what you've described it sounds to me like you unfortunately got one of the bad ones, but I can only speculate.

This post reminded me an old quote: "No I don't hate Jews, I even used to date one in my past".