Wife arrived in the US 14 days ago. Now she is gone

[Empress200735 6]

I am sorry to hear about what has happened. I understand that this is very distressing for you. I would suggest that you keep the intimacy within your marriage private for you and your wife only.

I would recommend that you find her and sit down with her to find out what is going on. The purpose of her immigrating to the USA is to be with you.

[Meg&Andrew 297]

Please do explain, unless I am missing something what exactly he wrote (maybe he edited it) that says anything about sexual or domestic abuse? Not exactly sure how it would be super easy for her to claim any form of abuse. Having an argument through a text (keep in mind we don't know what was said other than she was going home) does not meet the criteria for domestic abuse. People have arguments in relationships doesn't mean he abused her. If you are referring to him saying she never "initiated sex" of course women don't want to be nagged but most people want to be touched and intimate with their spouse. At least, I have always learned that was a normal way of exchanging a certain level of intimacy. Again, does not meet the criteria for sexual abuse. Now if he did other things like touching, saying things, or trying to force her to have sex with him that is abuse and saying things to her to make her uncomfortable is sexual harassment.

I completely agree. Coming from someone who has seen domestic abuse first hand, this is in no way domestic abuse. A domestic abuser probably wouldn't have allowed her to get on that plane in the first place. Also sexual abuse? I'm sorry but I've never met a man that didn't want an intimate relationship and a pretty steady one as well. Him wanting to have intimate relations with his wife doesn't qualify as sexual abuse. I mean, following her on the plane probably wasn't a good idea, or checking on her luggage. But then again I have to think about what I'd do if I was in the same situation. Paying out so much money, and spending so much time in a long process to bring someone here. Not to mention loving that person as well. I'd probably go to the airport too, hoping they'd change their mind, and check on the luggage if they didn't, in hopes they may have reconsidered after getting on that plane. I'm sorry this happened to you. I know everyone says get a divorce and move on, which is the right advice. But I'm sure doing so is a lot more difficult than saying it. Good luck to you.

[EmilyW 1,521]

I am sorry to hear about what has happened. I understand that this is very distressing for you. I would suggest that you keep the intimacy within your marriage private for you and your wife only.

I would recommend that you find her and sit down with her to find out what is going on. The purpose of her immigrating to the USA is to be with you.

Not so sure about that. IMO, the purpose of her immigrating to the US was to immigrate to the US. The OP was merely the enabler of that move and, now that she's gotten into the US, he's surplus to requirements. She wasn't homesick or suffering culture shock. She could have gone home but, instead, got back on a flight to the US where people were waiting for her to start her new - husbandless - life

OP, just divorce and move on. You seem like your heart is in the right place. Don't try and punish her or follow her. Let her go. Tell your mom to leave it alone. She's not worth the time and hassle. I have no doubt you will hear from her when it's ROC time.

Edited April 10, 2016 by EmilyW

[annoj 13]

I feel so sorry you are in this kind of situation, but if u can get alone time with her and talk to her and if she insists she wants to still leave you and leave your house,then by all means get a divorce and all contact later on should be through a lawyer..i know deceit is really painful but seems she and her family had it all planned out from the beginning and you were just a bait..I wish u all the best in life and love

[deleted this acco 44]

try and go for annulment; research it and see if it applies in your case. that family she left with will get her whatever she needs to stay here legal. don't get into arguments with her or them.

[Unidentified 2,930]

Please do explain, unless I am missing something what exactly he wrote (maybe he edited it) that says anything about sexual or domestic abuse? Not exactly sure how it would be super easy for her to claim any form of abuse. Having an argument through a text (keep in mind we don't know what was said other than she was going home) does not meet the criteria for domestic abuse. People have arguments in relationships doesn't mean he abused her. If you are referring to him saying she never "initiated sex" of course women don't want to be nagged but most people want to be touched and intimate with their spouse. At least, I have always learned that was a normal way of exchanging a certain level of intimacy. Again, does not meet the criteria for sexual abuse. Now if he did other things like touching, saying things, or trying to force her to have sex with him that is abuse and saying things to her to make her uncomfortable is sexual harassment.

You guys are missing out a lot of the details prior to the moderators. She came up with excuses not to have sex with him and he nagged on her. I don't want to give more detail as I don't want to break any TOS rules about family friendly website but details were graphic. She can easily claim sexual abuse by saying he forced her even if it isn't true. We see a lot of people claiming WAVA when it isn't true.

Did you see him nagging her?why don't you just keep quiet instead of lecturing people around here...No one needs your lectures...OP never asked if women want to be nagged or no or how women should be treated....duh he knows she was with him for other reasons...

I saw the post before moderators came and edited it (I reported it) it explain their sex life in details and she didn't want to be intimate with him and he nagged her. Stop being rude and don't tell me to be quiet as that is technically against TOS.

[Unidentified 2,930]

This post is BS. Fiction. Read again and see the contradictions.

Are you referring to me and Harmonia or to OP's post? If you mean me or Harmonia then all I have to say is: you should have seen OP's post before moderators edited it. It's not fiction.

[Boiler 46,059]

Are you referring to me and Harmonia or to OP's post? If you mean me or Harmonia then all I have to say is: you should have seen OP's post before moderators edited it. It's not fiction.

If you subscribed to this thread you should have the original post in our inbox.

[Unidentified 2,930]

If you subscribed to this thread you should have the original post in our inbox.

In who's inbox? And I don't want to read it again.

[Boiler 46,059]

Many thanks for the original post, certainly clarifies the situation.

[SanneW 30]

I saw the post before moderators came and edited it (I reported it) it explain their sex life in details and she didn't want to be intimate with him and he nagged her. Stop being rude and don't tell me to be quiet as that is technically against TOS.

I read it before it was moderated and honedtly don't think he was nagging her. It is completely normal for a married couple to do certain things. He has been taking care of her while sick, and was about to be gone for work for a week. Asking in that situation to me seems normal. Might not want to put up a standard of how many times a week, tho in my opinion he wasn't nagging, he was just being a husband of a wife that apparently wasn't in love with him.... it's not his fault,if she loved him he mostlikely wouldn't even need to ask

[Unidentified 2,930]

So just because the husband is going to be away she has to be intimate with him?

Not taking no for an answer to the point where she gives in is nagging for it.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

I liked the humblebrag about endowments best.

Edited April 10, 2016 by Harpa Timsah

[Unidentified 2,930]

Yeah like someone mentioned in the beginning of the thread, for being someone who says he's shy he doesn't have any issues sharing intimate details.

Edited April 10, 2016 by Maria&Seve

[Everlast 49]

Dude! Sorry to read.

Move on. it is going to be hard, but move, you must.

Karma is a wicked ! Wish her well too!

Kind Regards!!!