Divorce

[BH45 0]

Hi All. It's been a while since I have been here but times are changing in my life and thought who better to talk to than the folks in the Visa Journey Canada Forum. My hubby has been struggling with a couple of addictions for at least two years possibly three. I attend a support group for the last two years and see a counsellor for the last year. I finally told him that we were done. He asked my why I wasn't going to try to "fix" our marriage. I told him I had been for two years and he promptly said "I don't see any changes in you." I know it's the addiction but as long as I stay that will always be his reason for his addictions.

Anyway, I'm just curious to know and make sure because I believe I was correct in telling him that I will not have to go back to Canada until I was ready. I have been here almost 8 years, have my 10 year green card, a job and friends. The other thing I am wondering about is if any of you, hopefully no one is divorced, have filed for divorce without an attorney. I'm sure we will be amicable about all this cause we have been living more like roommates than a married couple for at least 18 months, if not more.

Thanks for your help.

[Cathi 5,755]

You have a ten year green card, you don't ever need to go back to Canada if you choose not to. Sorry about your marriage, unfortunately with addiction the addicts blame everyone but themselves. They lie and steal to get what they want when they want and it is friends and family who pay the price. You cannot help him unless he wants to help himself. I have dealt with a few members of my family who are or were addicts, it's a lose lose situation. Don't beat youself up, just divorce and move on

Edited April 8, 2016 by mimolicious

[Ontarkie 14,226]

Oh I'm so sorry /hugs

You have done all you can, if he won't change there is nothing left for you to do.

Just go to the court house or look online to see what steps to take for your state. You don't need a lawyer if things stay amicable.

[shiny1713 5]

I'm very sorry you're going through this, but it sounds like you're doing what you need to do for your own well being. I was married previously, also to an addict that refused to make any changes. It was a hard road to convince myself it was time to leave, but it was the best decision I ever made. We had no kids, and our finances were uncomplicated so we ended up filing on our own. I used legal zoom to help with some of the paperwork (I think it cost around $300) and then relied on info for my state to help answer any questions I had. The process was referred to in my state as a "simplified dissolution of marriage" and the whole thing went very smoothly. I wish you the best of luck.

[warlord 73]

You'll be fine. In fact you can still even apply for citizenship if you want. I got divorced after my process (though I had already become a citizen), but as long as you are past the probationary Green Card phase (which you hare) then you are fine to remain. In fact you won't have any issues getting your next 10 year GC either if you choose that.

So all is good with what you told him. And yes we were in the "Roomate" phase as well and then I finally filed. We've been friends for years and in fact my ex-wife hangs out with my girlfriend from time to time now since we're all friends. So hope it works out the same with you...

Edited April 11, 2016 by warlord

[BH45 0]

Thanks all. I know I will be ok.....just like having the support of fellow country people