Removing conditions, LPR out of country longterm, divorce waiver pending

[WombatWombat 9]

He got an RFE, requesting further evidence of co-mingled finances (which we really don't have, because he was so financially irresponsible, so I didn't put him on titles etc. They questioned almost everything we sent, requesting proof of payment for things like life insurance beneficiary info and health insurance - It is all through my work, so how do we provide proof of payment?)

I still want to help him, even though I am firm on wanting to proceed with divorce. He doesn't want to sign the divorce papers. The RFE also requests the final divorce decree, response required by Aug 6.

Since he won't sign, it will not be final by then.

So how to respond to the RFE?

Can he kiss his green card good-bye? He's still out of the country, but is making arrangements to return. His extension letter expires in Aug.

I had an incredible emotional reaction to the RFE, so I am obviously not ready to kiss the relationship good-bye for good. He wants to stay married, but I just don't want all those financial and legal entanglements that marriage entails. I feel that marriage brought out the worst in both of us.

[Boiler 46,033]

Why did you open his mail?

[WombatWombat 9]

Verbal agreement to open his mail for him and read to him (he doesn't read English)

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

You can't have your cake and eat it too. There is no in between, it's one or the other. "Helping him" to ROC with intention to divorce is fraud, there is no viable marriage according to you. You are digging your hole deeper and by being an enabler to him he will remain a man child instead of a grown man.

[Boiler 46,033]

Fraud may be pushing it, but certainly very odd.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

How is fraud pushing it ? If she intents to divorce him down the road and acknowledges that the marriage is over and then
tries to join accounts and other evidences to get him to ROC, knowing full well the marriage is over then I see it as fraudulent
and a dangerous path to walk on for her (I couldn't care less about him).
He can divorce and try to ROC by himself but he refuses and wants her to pretend everything
is honky dory, use her and drop her as soon as she did all the work for him while he vacations by himself in his home country for months and months on end.
He is the biggest [edited] I have read about in a while here.
It has been an ongoing saga. OP needs counseling to get away from this [edited].

Edited May 16, 2016 by TBoneTX
alternative characters avoided word-filter

[Pinkrlion 2,724]

It is clear and obvious that he is only returning to get his ROC adjudicated. He has already left your marriage, and he will not sign the divorce papers because someone told him to stay married to get 10 yr GC. There are no discussions of marriage counseling, or his return prior to ROC.

It is falsifying your marriage status so he can get GC, that is true fraud.

He is using you as his USCIS secretary, not treating you as his wife. Please understand that once he learns he does not need u to ROC, he will be signing those divorce papers.

Edited May 15, 2016 by Pinkrlion

[NikLR 13,232]

Isn't there a time limit on which he has to sign them or else the divorce proceeds without him signing?

I agree, stop being his secretary. ROC is his job. Make him do it.

Don't be a door mat.

[Caryh 5,206]

How is fraud pushing it ? If she intents to divorce him down the road and acknowledges that the marriage is over and then

tries to join accounts and other evidences to get him to ROC, knowing full well the marriage is over then I see it as fraudulent

and a dangerous path to walk on for her (I couldn't care less about him).

He can divorce and try to ROC by himself but he refuses and wants her to pretend everything

is honky dory, use her and drop her as soon as she did all the work for him while he vacations by himself in his home country for months and months on end.

He is the biggest [edited] I have read about in a while here.

It has been an ongoing saga. OP needs counseling to get away from this [edited].

If you notice, this is ROC based on a divorce waiver and they are asking for the finalized divorce papers. Although the divorce apparently has not been filed yet, as she was trying to file it with both as signers.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

If you notice, this is ROC based on a divorce waiver and they are asking for the finalized divorce papers. Although the divorce apparently has not been filed yet, as she was trying to file it with both as signers.

She said : "They questioned almost everything we sent, requesting proof of payment for things like life insurance beneficiary info and health insurance - It is all through my work, so how do we provide proof of payment?) I still want to help him, even though I am firm on wanting to proceed with divorce."

I read it as her wanting to wait with the divorce and go ahead with the co mingling and as both signers since he refuses to

divorce and in his mind needs her until he has ROC behind him (also using her as Hotel America if he happens to be back

from his vacations).

Helping to co mingle now with life insurance, health insurance etc but having the intent to divorce after ROC, is that not fraud ?

It's like our marriage is over but I will do everything I can to help you stay here and when you are approved I divorce you.

Help meaning further co mingling would be produced to satisfy the RFE.

Helping him get his own papers together had there been any for co mingling previously established

(which there weren't any) would not be fraud and considered 'helpful' but not now finding ways to further co mingle.

The mingle has left the station.

If I am misreading and misunderstanding OP, please clarify.

[Harmonia 211]

Fraud is pushing it, for me. OP wrote she's not ready to kiss the marriage goodbye for good.

People are complicated. Marriages are complicated. Immigration makes it even more complicated. I don't see fraud, I see a confused woman who should be in therapy to get out of a bad marriage. But a bad marriage isn't fraud. Don't add that as another thing for her to worry about.

[Caryh 5,206]

She said : "They questioned almost everything we sent, requesting proof of payment for things like life insurance beneficiary info and health insurance - It is all through my work, so how do we provide proof of payment?) I still want to help him, even though I am firm on wanting to proceed with divorce."

I read it as her wanting to wait with the divorce and go ahead with the co mingling and as both signers since he refuses to

divorce and in his mind needs her until he has ROC behind him (also using her as Hotel America if he happens to be back

from his vacations).

Helping to co mingle now with life insurance, health insurance etc but having the intent to divorce after ROC, is that not fraud ?

It's like our marriage is over but I will do everything I can to help you stay here and when you are approved I divorce you.

Help meaning further co mingling would be produced to satisfy the RFE.

Helping him get his own papers together had there been any for co mingling previously established

(which there weren't any) would not be fraud and considered 'helpful' but not now finding ways to further co mingle.

The mingle has left the station.

If I am misreading and misunderstanding OP, please clarify.

You must have missed part of the RFE is also asking for the final divorce papers. She does seem to be confusing the issue though with some of her statements, but its already been applied for with the divorce check box made, or they would not be asking for the divorce decree in the RFE.

Quote OP "The RFE also requests the final divorce decree, response required by Aug 6."

[Boiler 46,033]

I think we can all agree that she should not be involved, does look very suspicious.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Fraud is pushing it, for me. OP wrote she's not ready to kiss the marriage goodbye for good.

People are complicated. Marriages are complicated. Immigration makes it even more complicated. I don't see fraud, I see a confused woman who should be in therapy to get out of a bad marriage. But a bad marriage isn't fraud. Don't add that as another thing for her to worry about.

I have to politely disagree with the last part and I think she should know where this is heading. He will talk her into keeping it together for ROC,

do all the paperwork to keep him here and then sign the divorce papers. OP stated she is not ready but also stated she definitely wants

a divorce. It is not a viable marriage and he has no chance to ROC unless he either signs the divorce papers or gets his act together

and acts like a husband and they sign together, she does not want to be financially mingled because of his irresponsibility yet wants to satisfy

his RFE.

A bad marriage is not fraud I agree, but knowing you will divorce after ROC and getting co mingled evidence now to answer his RFE

is wrong. Goal is to keep him here and then divorce.

My heart goes out to the OP and I hope she will let it all go and do nothing but get the divorce. I would hate for her to

come to regret "helping him" and suffer financial consequences.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

You must have missed part of the RFE is also asking for the final divorce papers. She does seem to be confusing the issue though with some of her statements, but its already been applied for with the divorce check box made, or they would not be asking for the divorce decree in the RFE.

Quote OP "The RFE also requests the final divorce decree, response required by Aug 6."

Yes, correct. I thought that now they want to do it "together" since he refuses to sign, which would mean to re file. Very confusing.

How would USCIS view additional health and life insurance co mingling being produced, dated after the fact and just in time for the RFE

on a divorce waiver ? I mean who puts their spouse on life and health insurance when the divorce was initiated and waiver checked ?

He was not on it previously and her question was how to do that to keep him here.