Non-Africans marrying Sub-Saharan Africans

[Boiler 45,759]

A white USC with a much younger Nigerian interviewing in a 3rd country is really looking for an uphill battle. Hopefully you met in his country and have a longer stay and spent time with his family

Do we know which way the age difference goes?

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

Do we know which way the age difference goes?

Did you look at the profile pic

[Boiler 45,759]

Bit grainy but I think I see what you mean.

[Eric&Tasha 5]

A white USC with a much younger Nigerian interviewing in a 3rd country is really looking for an uphill battle. Hopefully you met in his country and have a longer stay and spent time with his family

I did visit him 3 times already, we lived for a short time (12 days or so each time) together, shopping, cooking together, etc. and I am planning to be there for his interview with all my original documents, we are approved fast by USCIS (no RFE) and I hope the US embassy in Ghana will see us as the real couple and approve his visa. This is what all of us wish.

And believe me, the age difference is the real problem but for to start the relationship, it was for both of us, many doubts and on and off because the age, until we both decided to stop fighting our feelings anymore, now the visa, embassy, anybody can say or think anything, delay or verify, the most important thing is we wish to be together, we love each other and we will do everything for to make it happen. Good luck to all of us! and God bless you all!

Tasha

[WombatWombat 9]

We had every red flag in the book (including the age difference). Luckily, I was able to attend the interview, and we got his K1 visa without any issues whatsoever - but we also had a lot of chemistry that seemed obvious to the interviewer. However, a large age difference between an older non-African woman and a young African men automatically conjures the image of a "desperate middle-aged woman who wants a young hot boy toy" and "an African yahoo boy who wants a green card"

This is not meant as an offense by any means, but that's just what the outside world will assume - and not just at the consulate.

My marriage fit that cliché, and ultimately didn't work out unfortunately. Convincing the consulate and getting that visa is a small feat compared to what married life in the US will present for such a couple. Co-workers, family, friends, neighbors might not understand. And when the outside world constantly doubts, it's hard to maintain trust and confidence in your relationship. That pressure is sometimes too much, even when the relationship is real. And then it's easy to say "he only used me for a green card". And no matter how much you want to believe that age is only a number, there will be a day, when you realize that you are in different stages in life.

This is not meant to discourage. I still remember how much in love I was with my "beautiful young man", and how I was convinced we'd beat the odds. Love is a gamble, and I am glad I played ;-)

Wishing you the best of luck!!! Don't worry too much about the interview - if it's meant to be, he will get that visa.

[Eric&Tasha 5]

We had every red flag in the book (including the age difference). Luckily, I was able to attend the interview, and we got his K1 visa without any issues whatsoever - but we also had a lot of chemistry that seemed obvious to the interviewer. However, a large age difference between an older non-African woman and a young African men automatically conjures the image of a "desperate middle-aged woman who wants a young hot boy toy" and "an African yahoo boy who wants a green card"

This is not meant as an offense by any means, but that's just what the outside world will assume - and not just at the consulate.

My marriage fit that cliché, and ultimately didn't work out unfortunately. Convincing the consulate and getting that visa is a small feat compared to what married life in the US will present for such a couple. Co-workers, family, friends, neighbors might not understand. And when the outside world constantly doubts, it's hard to maintain trust and confidence in your relationship. That pressure is sometimes too much, even when the relationship is real. And then it's easy to say "he only used me for a green card". And no matter how much you want to believe that age is only a number, there will be a day, when you realize that you are in different stages in life.

This is not meant to discourage. I still remember how much in love I was with my "beautiful young man", and how I was convinced we'd beat the odds. Love is a gamble, and I am glad I played ;-)

Wishing you the best of luck!!! Don't worry too much about the interview - if it's meant to be, he will get that visa.

Thank you for your post. I understand what are you saying. Yet I disagree, any marriage, the same age, the same skin color, school sweat hearts, etc. it's the lottery, in US 50% of marriages end in divorce. We did think about all differences, maybe I understand better because I know the life in US, he doesn't. Any marriage also depends of 2. I am not afraid of divorce in the future specially because now I see he is not for a Green Card with me, he loves Africa and so many times we both were thinking where to live and work, we both are very active and business minded and doing business in Africa is interesting yet for now we will see how we do in America.

I am sorry your marriage is over but it's life, I am sure you both had a great time being married, it's life and experience. I hope my marriage will last forever yet I am not afraid if it ends at some point. He is much more mature than I am, not a boy toy at all, I am more childish and more likely to run away and need to be focused, lol. I am not worrying about the interview either, everything is real and correct and it will be approved, sooner or later. :Life is a strange thing, I never did think about a marriage like this, never about a younger man. The people can think anything they wish and thank you so much for all who are kind and positive.

Tasha

Edited April 6, 2016 by Eric&Tasha

[Mzkyia79 5]

Husband is Nigerian, I am a American. HE CAME ON A K1 visa and was approved without any RFEs

[IfoemaUS 25]

I am a black American woman and my fiance is Nigerian...close in age and really no issues between us. We met a year and a half ago and still love struck lol...he has family here already (on the opposite cost from me) his mom, sis, and aunties/cousins. I speak to his family at least once or twice a week and we've become very close. The only thing I worry about at the interview is that I've only visited him once for a week due to work (vacay time) plus the fact that I can only really take that type of trip in Summer because my children are in school the rest of the year...also the expense of the flight is another challenge, so I hope the CO does not take that as a problem. I'm so ready for my sweetheart to join us!

[IcezMan_IcezLady 582]

It all depends on the CO and how he or she feels about your relationship. I am a Ghana-American and my husband is Ghanaian. When we applied for K-1 before we decided to get married. CO thought that I was bn paid by my then fiance to bring him here.

The reason why the age difference between a white woman marrying an African man is viewed with suspicion is that, years ago, there was con pattern like that. I remember when my school got a computer lab and we all got exposed to yahoo messenger. About 90% of the guys in my school were befriending foreigner especially white women. Some told horrible stories about their lives and some got monies and gifts from their unsuspecting victims. Some guys who send pictures of other young women to get old white men to marry (fake marriages of course)while the women may not be aware their images were been used to get money.

So this practice goes way back when people used to write letters to pen pals. Culturally, age is still a big deal. when a woman is older than the man. That is changing but it becomes a secret for the couple.

Your relationship might be genuine but history is what people are using to judge you. Keep your head up and listen to your heart . Good luck!

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

I am a black American woman and my fiance is Nigerian...close in age and really no issues between us. We met a year and a half ago and still love struck lol...he has family here already (on the opposite cost from me) his mom, sis, and aunties/cousins. I speak to his family at least once or twice a week and we've become very close. The only thing I worry about at the interview is that I've only visited him once for a week due to work (vacay time) plus the fact that I can only really take that type of trip in Summer because my children are in school the rest of the year...also the expense of the flight is another challenge, so I hope the CO does not take that as a problem. I'm so ready for my sweetheart to join us!

Hopefully you have front loaded your petition and will be on the premises for the interview, that would increase your chances

a bit for Lagos. I have seen couples with one visit make it through and couples with several visits not make it through. It depends

on your overall ability to submit a quality package with good relationship evidence and how well he knows you and about you,

when questioned at the interview.

Best wishes on your visa journey.

[IfoemaUS 25]

Hopefully you have front loaded your petition and will be on the premises for the interview, that would increase your chances

a bit for Lagos. I have seen couples with one visit make it through and couples with several visits not make it through. It depends

on your overall ability to submit a quality package with good relationship evidence and how well he knows you and about you,

when questioned at the interview.

Best wishes on your visa journey.

Thank you for the well wishes. I am worried about the fact of one visit but it is very expensive to travel back and forth. I am sending him more evidence next week (printed text messages and phone records) with the signed Affidavit of Support and making sure he knows details of my work and other personal info. It's the best we can do for now.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Thank you for the well wishes. I am worried about the fact of one visit but it is very expensive to travel back and forth. I am sending him more evidence next week (printed text messages and phone records) with the signed Affidavit of Support and making sure he knows details of my work and other personal info. It's the best we can do for now.

Yes, Lagos likes several visits and they do not care about how expensive it is or what to do with children when you are gone.

However, as I said many have been approved with one visit and hopefully you will be too.

If not then marry and file a CR1, our journey took a second K1 and 5 years to complete.

It was a tough ride but it was all worth it now that he is here.

[Maria1989 403]

Yes, Lagos likes several visits and they do not care about how expensive it is or what to do with children when you are gone.

However, as I said many have been approved with one visit and hopefully you will be too.

If not then marry and file a CR1, our journey took a second K1 and 5 years to complete.

It was a tough ride but it was all worth it now that he is here.