STUBBORN WIFE!!!

[Transborderwife 4,666]

^^ Exactly!!

The underlined statement is not true.

His health insurance is his problem not hers!!

It'll still go against her taxes if filing jointly Edited March 28, 2016 by Transborderwife

[Unidentified 2,930]

Sounds like you guys just got married and you're filling for AOS. ROC is in 2 years. Relax and stop worrying about ROC.

If I was the USC and my husband was nagging about ROC I'd be unhappy too. Enjoy being married and try to focus on your marriage. Stop bugging her about ROC, she probably feel like you just married her for the green card.

[IcezMan_IcezLady 582]

It'll still go against her taxes if filing jointly

The importance clause is IF....OP sounds like he will be walking away from the marriage by then..

I feel bad for OP but I can understand the wife if she is footing all the bills and you have a husband demanding and not showing any consideration? I will probably be adamant in giving and giving all the time. None of this process is cheap. His wife will have to be taking the financial responsibility until OP starts working. SO i think OP should tune it down, be supportive if his wife and slowly ease her into helping him get establish. OP didn't even believe her and she told him about her insurance premium going up is she adds him. You need the health insurance, a little compassion for her concerns could have change the conversation while in still making your case.

Find the best way to communicate with your wife. If she feels she is been used, she will definitely show hesitation. You need her to help you so that you both can contribute to the household.

You are calling her stubborn because you expect things to flow when you say so. Change the way you approach things with her ..just for a change and see things. If they don't work out then , we could all agree that she isn't any longer interested in the marriage.

Things won't be easy for you right now should you walk away and neither for her. You both need eachother. You are the man, change the tune of this relationship. Great leaders lead from behind.

Good luck!

**I am no marriage counselor

Sounds like you guys just got married and you're filling for AOS. ROC is in 2 years. Relax and stop worrying about ROC.

If I was the USC and my husband was nagging about ROC I'd be unhappy too. Enjoy being married and try to focus on your marriage. Stop bugging her about ROC, she probably feel like you just married her for the green card.

That's exactly how I felt too.

[7Ken 15]

$200 is cheap / she has to cover you by buying health insurance and the market place insurance premiums run over $250 a month with a $5000 deductible / a good policy under obama care is over $800

she will be fined when she does next year's tax returns for not buying health care insurance for you

as far as $24000 if she has an accident sounds like she doesn't carry collison insurance

she doesn't have to add you but would be a lot better to help you learn to drive and be able to work

seems like money is one issue and trust is the other

come out and ask her directly if she loves you and wants this relationship as she is not willing to share her life

If he is an unlicensed driver and she gives him permission to drive her car insurance isn't going to cover an accident.

[judefabulous 26]

This is not love...your wife is so self centered. During my aos time,my wife did everything without I asking,she wants nothing to break our happy relationship.All I can say is get a job,save up and move on with your life.Terrible for one to be treated that way.

[almost_umrican 54]

First of all thanks to each and every person who replied and gave precious advises in my other post.Some how I convinced myself to give some more time to this relationship and not take a decision so early.I will be eligible to remove my conditions on the Conditional Green Card after 2 years and according to the research I did on this website I will have to submit extensive evidences.Now the biggest issue is that my wife is the biggest procrastinator I have ever come across in my life. She always wait until the very last moment to do things which are concerned with me. She does not want to add me to her employee Health Medical Insurance Plan-she says currently she is paying $30 and if she adds me she will have to pay $200 which I don't understand why. She says "we cannot have a Joint Vehicle Insurance because If one of us gets into a wreck then the other person's Insurance Premium will go up". She says she doesn't care what Immigration Officer wants to see.According to her,US Citizens don't do all this.She says she will tell the Immigration Officer on his/her face and ask him/her if he/she has a Joint Vehicle and Medical Insurance with his/her spouse.She is very reluctant to help me learn how to drive on her car,she says I will have to pay her 24 thousand dollars if I wreck her car while learning how to drive and doesn't wanna talk about the Immigration process and what we need to do to collect evidence.She says we will have a Joint Bank Account for name sake.Basically she does not give a damn about all this.I have talked to her and have tried to make her understand the importance of all this but there wasn't any use.I am added to her Apartment Lease and that is it.I need advice from people what else evidences should I start collecting and I want to know if what ever my wife is telling me is true.

Is she a naturalized citizen ? and Even if she is not. i am going to assume things here. Sounds like a very unhealthy relationship. she is purely harassing you for no apparent reason. this can break a individual down so bad.although your question is more of marital issue than immigration one. usually for a lot of people, ROC goes very smoothly.the evidences you are trying to gather are primary ones that shows you guys are co mingling your assets. you will have to gather them. i am not sure what your future plans but just reading what you put here about the spouse is very disappointing.even she is daughter of immigrants parents who was born here. she should know better. Also, please do not think i am being biased here and blaming the wife of all the wrongdoing. this is a reply to only one side of story. good luck. be nice to her, keep her happy. stubborn wife ? we all have those .

[7Ken 15]

This seems like a soap opera playing out on VJ...

The original questions pertaining to OP's visa have been answered.

Now it's just banter and people taking sides of a personal relationship in which we have only heard one side.

One fact is they choose to get married and OP is now in the states.

He's not happy with his relationship or his life and as he said he has no friends so he's come here for advice.

The advice OP needs is going to come from a 3rd party who knows both sides of the story first hand, not just his side that he's hiding from his wife.

We also know his wife is now the only one working in the house until such time as he gets his permit and he is worrying about things that at this point are not all that complicated and could easily be answered.

Playing judge and jury when we only know one side is exactly that, one sided.

While I wish them luck I don't really see this as a Visa issue, but a personal one.

Again I wish you BOTH good luck!

[Adil & Jeanne 296]

he came on K 1 visa and she does, if trying to claim him on her tax returns next year, have to provide his health insuance / there is a form that will automatically pop up on all tax sites for this showing if he has health insurance or not

and she did an affidavit of support

[Cathi 5,782]

To be honest,she is the most typical woman I have ever encountered.I talked to her, before our wedding and asked her if she has a slightest doubt or think I am not the guy then I will simple go back to my country and will not blame her for anything and simply disappear from her life forever but she said no she wants to marry me and loves me a lot and more than anyone in this world and wants to spend life with me.I am so confused,if a person claims to love someone so much than why their actions are different from their world.I thought it's American Culture and that's how it is in America but it's not true.When you love someone so much then your actions are in accordance with your words and not the other way round.She is simply more worried about her money than anything else.We almost do not have any intimate relationship even though we got married 2 months ago.She is way too snappy and grumpy.I talked to her mother about this and her mother started giving me lecture about all the things I should do when I told her I am already doing whatever she has mentioned.Wife claims shes always stressed because of her work when she works only 3 days a week for 12 hrs each shift.She is all happy and laughing and making jokes when her family is around and once it is me and her shes back to silent and snappy.I know I am a man and I have to take the charge but there is somethings which I cannot simply do without her help I am new to America and I need her help to learn about things but she is of almost no help.Does not want to cook,does not want to do dishes and cleans the house once in 2-3 weeks.I am ready and want to help her.I cook food and do the dishes all the time and I wanna help her for laundry and cleaning but she says she wants things according to herself and that she is a perfectionist.I walk her dog daily and organize the house but still complains.What else a man can do to help a wife???

No, she is NOT typical. She is selfish and self centered. Most women are not like her. She wants to save all of this money on insurance, but if you get ill with no insurance she will be paying far more for that than she ever would for insurance. The same if you get into a car accident with no insurance. What happens when you get into an accident and total the car? Bye bye car. Her reasoning is crazy, she is cheap for all the wrong reasons. Good luck with removing conditions when you have nothing jointly. Why did she bother getting married?

[NikLR 13,231]

In her defense, a lot of Americans don't have joint things. Our best friends don't even jointly own their house! They have separate accounts for everything. He makes the most money and pays the main bills, mortgage, his vehicles, etc... She pays for her student loans, child care, and vehicle. My ex and I in Canada were also like this with everything separate (granted, we weren't married either though.) My husband would get annoyed that I'd demand joint things because of immigration. He has zero issues with being joint anything, but the reasoning annoyed him (just as much as it annoyed me to be honest.)

So if she thinks that's how it works for everything, chances are he's not going to change her mind. She's prepared to go into an interview and speak her mind if it comes to that.

Also he can't just put her on a bank account without her signature. All he can do is collect the evidence over the next two years. Hopefully once he gets his EAD and brings in some money they can work things out better. She should have researched it more and understood that she's not treated like a USC couple. This is different. I'd be annoyed if my new spouse was demanding a bunch of things for immigration in 2 years time, and we've barely started our marriage. But she's also making unreasonable demands that he can't be added to her car insurance etc.. He can't drive yet, so maybe she's waiting until he can? Who knows!

Does that mean she's right and he's wrong? Absolutely not. It doesn't mean he's right and she's wrong either. They need to work it out and communicate with each other.

[depressed_lost 12]

does she have any reason to think you only married her for the green card?

Ok so don't know about prenups and that how she answered you? that is a RED flag waving in your face to begin with. I don't see the love in this story. If this is me- i will pack my bags go home. No one deserves to be treated this way. Take her stuffs as in household stuffs and electronics?! Common... She belittles you - that is a huge insult in my opinion.

7 years and have seen each other 3 times on short duration - you never knew how it is to be together- together.

she treats you this way because she don't see you as a husband or a partner.

she has absolutely no reason to think that I married her for the green card because initially I was not ready to come to USA and I asked her to shift to India and she said she will not be happy there and cannot live away from her family and blah blah so I decided to shift here for her.The day before we got married I asked her and her mother if she has a doubt or thinks I am not the guy then I will go back to India without any issues.Yeah she meant her household stuff and I was like #######...

[depressed_lost 12]

Wow, I really feel for you. Every story has two sides. I know first hand what is to feel trapped in a foreign country. My first opinion and thought is she doesn't trust you for some reason. Try to find a way to to make peace with yourself.....and then find a little something to do for her......a special something. Give her complements, tell her how beautiful she is, show her how important she is as a person. Maybe the rest will fall in place .........I wish you all the luck in the world

I appreciate your reply...trust me I have done a lot little things for her which she did not appreciate at all.I walked 2.5 miles in snow on valentines day to the Walmart from my home to get decorations for the apartment and her gift while she was working.I decorated the house with balloons and other stuff and all I heard was that balloons were not placed on the correct place the decoration looks crooked and she wanted to take them off cos of that reason cos she was embarrassed as her dad and grand ma were about to pay us visit next day.The teddy bears and soft toys I ever gave her are laying on the floor in the closet somewhere.

[depressed_lost 12]

I was looking for your timeline but notice you don't have one.

Would you mind telling us how long you've been in the US and giving us a basic timeline of when you can work etc?

I can't help but feel you haven't been there very long and your Visa concerns are the least of your worries?

Is it possible you're worrying about the Visa issues when in fact as your wife may have told you, you don't need to at this time?

Ok as a matter of fact I arrived in USA in December 2015 and we got married in February 2016 and applied for AOS in march.I will be able to work somewhere in June I guess.

[depressed_lost 12]

How about both of your names on the electric bill, the trash bill, the cellphone family plan, a joint household bank account? There are other financial transactions you two can have your names on.

If you rent an apartment, keep your name on there or if you have a house, make sure your name is on there too.

OP, you need to tone it done. You barely got married. You have a 2 WHOLE YEARS, you just got married and you are already trying to find a way to remove your conditions and you think your wife is the problem?

I absolutely agree with you that we barely got married and we have 2 whole years,I wouldn't be worried at all if the other things in the relationship were fine.I almost missed my K-1 visa interview because she did not prepare and send me the documents she was supposed to.She kept on telling me we still have time.Basically things related to me are of least importance.I can keep quiet and just wait for her and I am 100% sure one and half year will pass and we wouldn't have joint account or anything else.

[7Ken 15]

Ok as a matter of fact I arrived in USA in December 2015 and we got married in February 2016 and applied for AOS in march.I will be able to work somewhere in June I guess.

You sound so hostile in your recent replies, which to be honest surprises me as I personally was just trying to understand your situation better. I was even thinking you're not far from where I'll be soon, back home in Chapel Hill, NC.

Yes I have pointed out we're only hearing one side which it makes it difficult to give an accurate response.

You say their is no longer any intimacy in your marriage which means something happened.

You sound resolute in that your not happy in your marriage so maybe it's time to pack it in and just go home!

Good luck!