STUBBORN WIFE!!!

[dobbietoo 8]

I always try to be careful when replying to posts like yours.... There is always 2 sides to every story. My heart goes out to you because I can tell you are depressed and down! Usually we all have things we could do differently to make our husbands/wifes respond more to our liking, yes?! Your wife is being a little unreasonable in my opinion. Worrying about having a wreck and insurance going up???? Hello!! That is the real world and we 'all' live with that issue but life has to go on. That is a stupid reply in my opinion. It sounds like you two need to address and deal with these financial issues because they will do nothing but get worse!!! I guarantee it!! Do you share any of these posts with your wife? Maybe you should?

[depressed_lost 12]

I always try to be careful when replying to posts like yours.... There is always 2 sides to every story. My heart goes out to you because I can tell you are depressed and down! Usually we all have things we could do differently to make our husbands/wifes respond more to our liking, yes?! Your wife is being a little unreasonable in my opinion. Worrying about having a wreck and insurance going up???? Hello!! That is the real world and we 'all' live with that issue but life has to go on. That is a stupid reply in my opinion. It sounds like you two need to address and deal with these financial issues because they will do nothing but get worse!!! I guarantee it!! Do you share any of these posts with your wife? Maybe you should?

Thanks for being kind.As a matter of fact if I share these posts with her then she is gonna be upset and may be fight which i don't want.Before wedding she told me she wants to have a Prenuptial agreement.She said it's very common in USA and at that time I didn't know what it is all about I googled it and then asked her what is she worried about?She said may be I will try to take things that belong to her....I said are you serious?I said you do not own a house or any property and do not have more than 35 thousand dollars in your bank what would I wanna take from you.She said her things like television,electronics etc...or may be her dog.I met a inter racial couple online on VJ and I asked the USC female about this prenuptial thing and she was like #######.Then I told my wife about all the USC female said and my wife made the biggest drama about how that USC female is a B..... and why did I talk to her about our personal matter and blah blah....

[cristina16 81]

does she have any reason to think you only married her for the green card?

Ok so don't know about prenups and that how she answered you? that is a RED flag waving in your face to begin with. I don't see the love in this story. If this is me- i will pack my bags go home. No one deserves to be treated this way. Take her stuffs as in household stuffs and electronics?! Common... She belittles you - that is a huge insult in my opinion.

7 years and have seen each other 3 times on short duration - you never knew how it is to be together- together.

she treats you this way because she don't see you as a husband or a partner.

[Michael and Ganna 104]

Wow, I really feel for you. Every story has two sides. I know first hand what is to feel trapped in a foreign country. My first opinion and thought is she doesn't trust you for some reason. Try to find a way to to make peace with yourself.....and then find a little something to do for her......a special something. Give her complements, tell her how beautiful she is, show her how important she is as a person. Maybe the rest will fall in place .........I wish you all the luck in the world

[Sandra G. 5,057]

Man walk away, your wife clearly doesn't love you. Your problem is bigger than immigration issues. You live together just two months and have little intimacy,your wife is self centered,tell us a good thing about her and about your marriage because so far your marriage is a disaster.

[LionessDeon 2,060]

Ironic that she wanted a prenup, is worried about you taking a TV or some material object, yet will not do anything to aid you in being more independent. Does she realize that helping you drive and AOS so you can get a job could actually benefit her financially because you could help her with the bills?

Either she's very selfish, is paranoid of being taken advantage of, or does not love you.

A serious serious conversation needs to happen.

I wish you the best!

[ExPatty 502]

First of all thanks to each and every person who replied and gave precious advises in my other post.Some how I convinced myself to give some more time to this relationship and not take a decision so early.I will be eligible to remove my conditions on the Conditional Green Card after 2 years and according to the research I did on this website I will have to submit extensive evidences.Now the biggest issue is that my wife is the biggest procrastinator I have ever come across in my life. She always wait until the very last moment to do things which are concerned with me. She does not want to add me to her employee Health Medical Insurance Plan-she says currently she is paying $30 and if she adds me she will have to pay $200 which I don't understand why. She says "we cannot have a Joint Vehicle Insurance because If one of us gets into a wreck then the other person's Insurance Premium will go up". She says she doesn't care what Immigration Officer wants to see.According to her,US Citizens don't do all this.She says she will tell the Immigration Officer on his/her face and ask him/her if he/she has a Joint Vehicle and Medical Insurance with his/her spouse.She is very reluctant to help me learn how to drive on her car,she says I will have to pay her 24 thousand dollars if I wreck her car while learning how to drive and doesn't wanna talk about the Immigration process and what we need to do to collect evidence.She says we will have a Joint Bank Account for name sake.Basically she does not give a damn about all this.I have talked to her and have tried to make her understand the importance of all this but there wasn't any use.I am added to her Apartment Lease and that is it.I need advice from people what else evidences should I start collecting and I want to know if what ever my wife is telling me is true.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. This is not a stubborn wife; it is a wife who is not interested in your marriage. It's best you know now and fully internalize this truth.

[7Ken 15]

Others have said that her health insurance will increase significantly if she adds you to her policy. You should have health insurance and finding the best way to get it doesn't really seem to being addressed here so perhaps you should do some searching to find out what you can do about it. I would imagine there are some kind of legal requirements regarding this in your immigration? Look into it. If the solution is she has to add you then that's what she'll have to do considering she petitioned you.

As for car insurance it's quite complicated and expensive in the US.

Another thing you could find out by calling around to insurance agents. I'm assuming your India license is good for only 90 days after you enter the country but then you mentioned needing to learn to drive? Chances are you're not allowed to drive so insurance is a mute point presently? If you are illegible to drive her auto insurance will go up to as much as 10x for a "new" driver, but again a phone call to an agent will tell. She is right that if you're in an accident and it's your fault her or yours (as in both of you) insurance will go up considerable, possible double, but then again she petitioned you.

Couples have to do the best they can to face financial issues.

I can't see how either of these things will effect your status except possible the medical which you need to look into.

If it's an immigration necessity then you'll have to follow the law.

I'm sure her working and you not being allowed to legally work present challenges.

Is her employment such that an added say $500 per month for insurances wouldn't cause a hardship?

Obviously these are things that should have been looked at before your marriage and immigration but seems they were not.

Now you need to play catch up and see what can be done.

I feel for your situation and know what it's like to stay home while your spouse goes to work but you knew this was coming right?

It does seem like you have other more pressing personal issues going on that you need to address with your wife and some kind of 3rd party, possibly a marriage counselor or maybe there is some kind of immigration group counseling in your area. I think what ever you do in this regard you need to include her in it otherwise the divide between you will continue to grow.

On a side note, when I taught my wife to drive I would find a large parking lot of a closed business or church. It was actually kind of fun and while you wait you can get a book or download the guide to US drivers license laws. The first part of the test to get your license.

Wish you the best!!

[7Ken 15]

I was looking for your timeline but notice you don't have one.

Would you mind telling us how long you've been in the US and giving us a basic timeline of when you can work etc?

I can't help but feel you haven't been there very long and your Visa concerns are the least of your worries?

Is it possible you're worrying about the Visa issues when in fact as your wife may have told you, you don't need to at this time?

[Caryh 5,206]

And since when life insurance has to list spouse as beneficiary?

Well if you live in Minnesota you have to, unless you get permission from your spouse not to.

[andy78 178]

By the way, you can also generate evidence. For example, if you buy your own car and have a seperate car insurance, you can add your wife as an additional driver on your policy.

You can also have life insurance and include her as beneficiary.

Make sure you file joint tax returns every year.

If you travel togther, keep copies of the tickets.

Have a joint gym membership.

Take pictures.

You are on the apartment lease, that's good.

etc.

[IcezMan_IcezLady 582]

How about both of your names on the electric bill, the trash bill, the cellphone family plan, a joint household bank account? There are other financial transactions you two can have your names on.

If you rent an apartment, keep your name on there or if you have a house, make sure your name is on there too.

OP, you need to tone it done. You barely got married. You have a 2 WHOLE YEARS, you just got married and you are already trying to find a way to remove your conditions and you think your wife is the problem?

Edited March 28, 2016 by IcezMan_IcezLady

[IcezMan_IcezLady 582]

If I were you I would divorce and move on. It sounds like she has regrets about being married and wants to play the " you don't understand about America" card when it suits her.

These are all typical things that married couples have/do. Some folks keep everything separate, some 100% combined, others a mix.

Again, FWIW I'd suggest moving on and creating a normal life for yourself.

I don't see it that way. OP said in "2 years he will be eligible...." meaning OP has been here and married for a few months if not weeks. And he is already plotting how he can remove conditions.

If you came here to be with your love one, let the relationship be primary.

OP needs to tone it done. I would be suspicious if my spouse could barely let the honeymoon dust settle before he starts looking for ways to remove conditions on C GC.

[kris&me 572]

$200 is cheap / she has to cover you by buying health insurance and the market place insurance premiums run over $250 a month with a $5000 deductible / a good policy under obama care is over $800

she will be fined when she does next year's tax returns for not buying health care insurance for you

as far as $24000 if she has an accident sounds like she doesn't carry collison insurance

she doesn't have to add you but would be a lot better to help you learn to drive and be able to work

seems like money is one issue and trust is the other

come out and ask her directly if she loves you and wants this relationship as she is not willing to share her life

[IcezMan_IcezLady 582]

I was looking for your timeline but notice you don't have one.

Would you mind telling us how long you've been in the US and giving us a basic timeline of when you can work etc?

I can't help but feel you haven't been there very long and your Visa concerns are the least of your worries?

Is it possible you're worrying about the Visa issues when in fact as your wife may have told you, you don't need to at this time?

^^ Exactly!!

$200 is cheap / she has to cover you by buying health insurance and the market place insurance premiums run over $250 a month with a $5000 deductible / a good policy under obama care is over $800

she will be fined when she does next year's tax returns for not buying health care insurance for you

as far as $24000 if she has an accident sounds like she doesn't carry collison insurance

she doesn't have to add you but would be a lot better to help you learn to drive and be able to work

seems like money is one issue and trust is the other

come out and ask her directly if she loves you and wants this relationship as she is not willing to share her life

The underlined statement is not true.

His health insurance is his problem not hers!!