Visiting same sex partner VWP

[az2014 381]

Worrying over nothing, you will be fine.

[simsim2 50]

My husband and I (same sex partners) just came back from Turks and Caicos for Spring Break. He lives in NY and I live in Montreal.

We went through customs together, I am a French Citizen so got into the us under the VWP and in the middle of the i-130 process. We're both 21 yo, part-time employed and students. No questions asked, did not lie about the nature of our relationship (we were even wearing our wedding rings) and got into the US in less than one minute. So relaxxxx!

[JFH 12,191]

I don't know if the OP is around still but here's my experience.

I have entered the USA on the VWP in excess of 60 times. I am married to a US citizen and we are currently going through CR-1. I have very few ties to home. I rent a room from a family friend - don't even have a tenancy agreement. I don't have a car. I don't have children or pets. I work remotely from the room I rent and the job could be done anywhere in the world (in fact we do have people in various parts of the world doing this job for the same employer). I have never been asked to prove ties to the UK. Never been questioned more than the usual "where/why/how long" apart from once but even that wasn't full secondary questioning. They opened up my bag and asked a few more questions then sent me on my way. And I have always been completely honest and said I was visiting my boyfriend/husband.

I wouldn't worry about being discriminated against for being in a same-sex relationship. It's the 21st century. Look at my profile picture - that's not actually a picture of us but that is how we look and dress (Victorian gothic style) - we certainly stand out in a crowd - my husband has waist-length hair and we are heavily tattooed. Never had a problem at POE.

Edited March 25, 2016 by JFH

[simsim2 50]

Oh yeah not to mention that I traveled 53 times last year to the US

[JustShootIt 2]

OP: Deep breath and relax a little. Chances are you will be just fine. Honesty is always the best policy, and make sure you have your return ticket, travel insurance, and any other proof that would assist you should you ever be asked questions. In the lengthy number of years my husband visited me - no matter his age, the status of our relationship, or his employment or non employment - none of it mattered too much at all. His first visit was quite a grilling and after that there was no more but basic questions. There are horror stories, and while you can keep them in mind, I often think trouble for people starts when they lie simply out of the fear of being denied for being honest or in their terror they haven't answers for questions being asked.

Anyway, let us know how it goes.

Good luck to you two

Thank you very much. Grilling? Do you mean secondary? or just by the first officer he came into contact with? As you can probably tell from my posts, I do get quite anxious and do suffer some anxiety, though I currently do not require medication. Ah yes, travel insurance document is something else I can add to the list. I do also plan getting a letter from my employer that they expect my return.

I don't know if the OP is around still but here's my experience.

I have entered the USA on the VWP in excess of 60 times. I am married to a US citizen and we are currently going through CR-1. I have very few ties to home. I rent a room from a family friend - don't even have a tenancy agreement. I don't have a car. I don't have children or pets. I work remotely from the room I rent and the job could be done anywhere in the world (in fact we do have people in various parts of the world doing this job for the same employer). I have never been asked to prove ties to the UK. Never been questioned more than the usual "where/why/how long" apart from once but even that wasn't full secondary questioning. They opened up my bag and asked a few more questions then sent me on my way. And I have always been completely honest and said I was visiting my boyfriend/husband.

I wouldn't worry about being discriminated against for being in a same-sex relationship. It's the 21st century. Look at my profile picture - that's not actually a picture of us but that is how we look and dress (Victorian gothic style) - we certainly stand out in a crowd - my husband has waist-length hair and we are heavily tattooed. Never had a problem at POE.

That is reassuring, thank you.

[yuna628 9,712]

Thank you very much. Grilling? Do you mean secondary? or just by the first officer he came into contact with? As you can probably tell from my posts, I do get quite anxious and do suffer some anxiety, though I currently do not require medication. Ah yes, travel insurance document is something else I can add to the list. I do also plan getting a letter from my employer that they expect my return.

No, not secondary. But certainly a very lengthy interview in which the officer asked a whole host of probing questions: relating to how we met, who I was, how long we had known each other, where did we meet, what he and I did, my family, each family's members name that lived in the house, the phone number, the dog's name, what each family member did for a living, how much money did he have on him, his travel insurance and tickets, about his family, what trips we planned to take. For each question he had an answer, even though he was nervous and his accent was a fair bit thicker back then.

This was probably due to his age and being his first visit to the US, and the fact he was coming to visit and stay with a female 'friend'. The reality is at the time I was indeed his best friend, so he told no lies there. When our relationship changed the officers never had an issue, beyond always advising not to marry or overstay, but that was the first and only time there was ever any grilling. Keep in mind that was also a long time ago. For our wedding we had many UKers come over, many that was their first trip to the US, a few were unemployed/college, and young. They were barely questioned at all, and our best man was so nervous and mumbled to the officer I don't think they even understood a thing he said.

[JustShootIt 2]

No, not secondary. But certainly a very lengthy interview in which the officer asked a whole host of probing questions: relating to how we met, who I was, how long we had known each other, where did we meet, what he and I did, my family, each family's members name that lived in the house, the phone number, the dog's name, what each family member did for a living, how much money did he have on him, his travel insurance and tickets, about his family, what trips we planned to take. For each question he had an answer, even though he was nervous and his accent was a fair bit thicker back then.

This was probably due to his age and being his first visit to the US, and the fact he was coming to visit and stay with a female 'friend'. The reality is at the time I was indeed his best friend, so he told no lies there. When our relationship changed the officers never had an issue, beyond always advising not to marry or overstay, but that was the first and only time there was ever any grilling. Keep in mind that was also a long time ago. For our wedding we had many UKers come over, many that was their first trip to the US, a few were unemployed/college, and young. They were barely questioned at all, and our best man was so nervous and mumbled to the officer I don't think they even understood a thing he said.

Ah right. Because my boyfriend lives with room mates, and currently lives in a different state to any of his family(and he's not even out as gay to them because of their very conservative views. I do however know his parents names) I guess that could be an indication that he is in no way even ready to get married. May I ask his age at visiting? I am 24 but look way younger than I am (I've been told I look 17 MAX by so many people it's actually starting to get on my nerves, and I also think this may have been why the CBP officer on my last visit didn't even bother probing me as to why I was visiting) but this is my visiting a second time to the same airport/city/state so it's bound to raise some questions, ironically I had no documentation to prove my ties to the UK except my planned stay at a hotel for 4 days(I wanted to book a hotel for safety reasons for the first few days as it was our first time meeting) and my return flight.

[Shauneg 762]

I think you're discriminating and making assumptions of the CBP thinking they care about sexual orientation.

[JFH 12,191]

I really think you are overthinking it. It's good to be prepared and also it's good to understand that no one has a right to enter the USA except US citizens. Too many people think an ESTA approval is 100% proof that they will be admitted. Nope. The ESTA approval just means that you may present yourself to the CBP officer and request admission under the VWP. So it's good that you are aware that there is ALWAYS the chance that any one of us can be turned away.

But don't overthink it. There's every chance the CBP officer is also in a same-sex relationship. Why do you think they would discriminate? I see people on here worried about admitting to the officer that they met online. Completely forgetting that there's every chance the officer him/herself may have met his/her partner online also. They are human beings too. They do the things we do in our spare time. They date, marry, use social media, travel.

Edited March 25, 2016 by JFH

[yuna628 9,712]

Ah right. Because my boyfriend lives with room mates, and currently lives in a different state to any of his family(and he's not even out as gay to them because of their very conservative views. I do however know his parents names) I guess that could be an indication that he is in no way even ready to get married. May I ask his age at visiting? I am 24 but look way younger than I am (I've been told I look 17 MAX by so many people it's actually starting to get on my nerves, and I also think this may have been why the CBP officer on my last visit didn't even bother probing me as to why I was visiting) but this is my visiting a second time to the same airport/city/state so it's bound to raise some questions, ironically I had no documentation to prove my ties to the UK except my planned stay at a hotel for 4 days(I wanted to book a hotel for safety reasons for the first few days as it was our first time meeting) and my return flight.

So long ago.. but..er... 19 or 20 it was I think? Man we were just kids at the time really. In our 30s now and still people think we look like kids lol, so yeah we get that.

Just relax and don't overthink this. You'll be just fine.

[JustShootIt 2]

Hello guys, long time since original post but here was my experience at the poe two days ago.

Entered immigration area, and used the APC kiosk for the second time. Since all my fingerprints and picture had been manually taken on my first visit, and everything matched when the machine took them, my receipt didn't have an "X" across the page.

I was directed to the really short queue for processing and was through immigration in 5-10 mins

Conversation with the officer went like this:

Me: Good afternoon

Officer: Good afternoon, how are you today?

Me: I'm good thank you

*hands officer passport and APC kiosk receipt*

*officer compares picture of passport to me and glances at receipt*

Officer: Are you here for business, pleasure or anything else?

Me: Pleasure

Officer: How long are you here for?

Me: x days

Officer: Who are you visiting?

Me: My boyfriend

*smiles, stamps passport and apc receipt and hands them back to me*

Officer: Have a nice stay Mr x

I was granted the full 90 days even though my duration of stay isnt even close to that.

So all in all, a quick pleasant experience through the process.

I did take a letter of employment, bills, future appointment letters, bank statements showing I could support myself as well as a reasonable amount of cash for my stay. Just in case there was any question of my intentions by the officer.

[JFH 12,191]

Thank you for the update. Pleased all went well.

[SunflowerSweet 1,321]

Congrats, I had started reading the thread and was going to comment that I didnt think you had anything to worry about, but I guess it doesn't matter now!

You're experience sounds very similar to my fiances, and he had even less ties (no job, no really financial responsibilities, we were already engaged, etc).

Edited June 16, 2016 by MorganandMichael