Tips on dealing with being away from your partner?

[sdunford22 1]

Hey everyone! I was just wondering if anyone who's going/gone through the k1 visa process has any tips on how to deal with being away from their loved one? My fiancé and I have been apart before but for some reason this time is a lot harder for me. I've found myself more depressed and unmotivated to do every day things. It's been a chore to pull myself out of bed and it's only been two days! How can we make this easier?

[JFH 12,191]

Keep busy! I know you asked for people going through the K-1 to reply but you can learn a lot from people going through CR-1 too and our wait is even longer. Find a new hobby or interest. Try and do one thing each day that you've never done before or learn one new thing that you didn't know before. Not big things like skydiving but small things like trying foods you've never eaten before, going a different way home from work, listening to a different radio station, Learning a word or phrase in a foreign language. I find that if I keep myself busy with little tasks like that the time really flies.

Also I have been doing some online training courses for my job. I'm hoping it will help me with the job application process when I move. It certainly can't hurt.

[Russ&Caro 1,549]

I knew my wife for 8 years before I proposed and then had a 1.5 year wait after marriage before she joined me in the U.S. The one thing I regret while I waited for her is that I didn't read books on how to have a successful marriage. Her first 3 months in the US were miserable for both of us. Frankly, although I thought I was being sensitive to her needs, I really wasn't. Had I known about the dynamics of the early marriage period that almost all people go through, I could have made her adjustment to the US and marriage, much easier. And note, if you're going the K1 route, then you'll not only be dealing with early marriage issues but also the stresses associated with planning and having a wedding.

Truthfully, you don't have the luxury of being depressed right now - and I say that as a person who has had long bouts of depression in the past. Time to roll up your sleeves and try to make your wife's impending move and new life as great as possible.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Honestly? See a counsellor. It helps to talk things out and prevent your personal mental health from breaking down.

[Penguin_ie 5,997]

For you as a couple: talk about little things, not just the big issues; talk about what color socks you wore today, and the silly joke your co-worker made. Also, do stuff together over Skype, such as watching the same show on Netflix at the same time.

For you as self-care: do not focus all your energy on your partner, and the visa process. Do stuff with friends, still work hard at your job and look for promotions etc.

[YecaCruz 386]

*see above posts* (good stuff)

The longest my husband (fiancé back then) and I didn't see each other was 2 years over a 6 year relationship of 3,500 miles between us. All we had was facetime.

And there were times it sucked. I hated not getting to go to a movie with him or just hold his hand walking down the street. BUT with time I learned to not wallow in my feelings (I did plenty of that at first, believe me) but instead I learned to surround myself with a good group of friends to go out and do stuff with. People who will build you up, share your passions, accept your uniqueness, join you in your crazy ideas, and let you come over when you are feeling alone!

I volunteer at a Wednesday night church kids program and it was(and still is) my favorite night of the week.

Join a swing dance club? Learn photography! Plant stuff in pots!

Don't build your life, identity, purpose, or meaning around one person to the point where the outcome of your day, or your mood even, is based on being with them or seeing them. I was in that place. That's not a good, healthy foundation for any relationship, romantic or not. Learn to be ok with being alone. Honestly I miss being alone sometimes lol

And remember that this is a small blip when you compare it in your whole life. This is temporary; this separation and being away: it's not forever. This blip will end and you guys will be together again

Hope this helps

Edited March 18, 2016 by JJGussiaas (Gush)

[yuna628 9,747]

Hey everyone! I was just wondering if anyone who's going/gone through the k1 visa process has any tips on how to deal with being away from their loved one? My fiancé and I have been apart before but for some reason this time is a lot harder for me. I've found myself more depressed and unmotivated to do every day things. It's been a chore to pull myself out of bed and it's only been two days! How can we make this easier?

My husband and I got through the time spent away from each other through our entire relationship by talking every single day, but also finding things to do together. Playing video games, chess, and watching movies/tv over webcam/audio. Yes it could be depressing and difficult, yes there were times for tears and life just did not seem complete. But you keep yourself going with the promise that sometime soon it won't be long before you are together forever... and then you'll have to begin the process of learning to live with that person, which can be a drastic change if you've spent a large period of time apart. The longest we went without a visit was roughly 2 1/2-3 years. That was a rough one! But life happens, and that's how it can go in an LDR. It can be difficult not to fall into the trap of wallowing, so also make sure to take some time for yourself too. Find something to do that's a good stress reliever.

[sdunford22 1]

Does anyone know if It will affect my application if I go and visit him in the states up until a week before my interview date?? I was just speaking with someone at USCIS and they told me that there's nothing stating I can't but I just want to make sure from anyone with experience

[Penguin_ie 5,997]

If anything, more time together will help your case, but be sure to have everything ready, medical done etc. And have someone at home checking your mail, in case you get any papers!