His Ex Wife Ask To Go Back to My Country

[kjem 11]

I'm going to be honest with you here. Some people are just mean-spirited. If the mother was being fair, when she called she would have asked you for your side of the story. Biological parents know their kids, especially women. Kids too know how to play one parent agaisnt another one. I would say to you to have a discusion with your husband about this and approach it as non-obejectively as possible. As for the rude mother, she has no right or authority to tell anyone that they should return to their country. Here a fact you are either already a citizen of your new country or you are in the process of becoming one. The issue with you husband's kids can become an emotional strain on you, but onbly if you allow the x and the kids to control you emotionally. Although it may be difficult, don't let it ever be true that the kids say that you treat them differently.

I pray for you in that situation, and I pray that all of the adults in this situation will be able to come together and discuss the issue so athat it will not be likfe a forest that is on fire.

Peace!

I am a step mom who looks after her step kid full time. I have no contact with the kids mother. I have no need to. You have no need to be in contact with the kids mother.

You do not need a lawyer to get the ex out of your life. You have the power to do that for yourself and for free. Block her in your phone (and email if needed), do not message her, do not call her. Do not be in the same place as her or talk to her unless you absolutely have to, and even then keep it brief and polite. Your husband needs to deal with his ex himself when they need to talk about kid related stuff.

Your husband also needs to talk to his kid that if the child has a problem with you then they need to either talk to you or talk to him and they will discuss it (even if it is just dad telling the kid, tough luck, you are not an adult). The child also needs appropriate punishments for being disrespectful. If the child continues to disrespect you and go behind your back telling tales to their mother, then stop doing things for the child. Stop cooking for that child, stop doing their laundry and start making them wash their own dishes. People who are disrespectful towards you do not deserve your time and attention. If the child is old enough for a cell phone they are old enough to fix themselves something to eat, use a washer and a dryer and wash up some dishes.

Being a step parent is one of the toughest things I have had to deal with. Get some support. I have found some online step parent forums to be invaluable in learning how to stay sane while trying to deal with having someone elses kids in my life.

Amen to that.

[Deagle 508]

I was in almost a similar situation. But I had a problem with the kids's father. I am the step-dad. He tried to annoy and bother me but I switched to offense instead of defense. I told him he have nothing to do with the rules I put in my house and the kids have to abide it, my house my rules. He can do nothing with it. I even told the kids and made it clear, I told them that I love them and I will takecare of them always but I will not tolerate any shenanigans. If you dont like confronting people, then ignore her and dont let her reach you in anyway.

[Jawaree 718]

A She cant get you deported...ignore her

B continue to treat the kids fairly...in yrs to come they will commend you

c Yes it hurts try not to focus on her words when she calls, she's just jealous

d Have a talk with your hubby , just explain how hurt you feel when this happens & for him to step in

E it will happen again over & over as the kids think if you are gone then mom has a chance

F Remember she is not with him because she has bad ways that even the kids live with him & not her

G Think of her as an after-thought when the kids go complaining to her.

H don't let them scare you kids plays both ends to get their ways.

I Think he wants you not her don't let her ruin your marriage & express that to your husband too.

Good luck...ignore the old goat you've looked after the kids 5 yrs now

[madtownguy 164]

Part of being a good parent is rising up and not letting it bother you and treating the kids good all the time. I agree with the others just block contact if they bother you. Being a step parent is tough, but you have plenty of time at it you should just focus on the kids and not worry about their Mom.

[IcezMan_IcezLady 582]

I am a step mom who looks after her step kid full time. I have no contact with the kids mother. I have no need to. You have no need to be in contact with the kids mother.

You do not need a lawyer to get the ex out of your life. You have the power to do that for yourself and for free. Block her in your phone (and email if needed), do not message her, do not call her. Do not be in the same place as her or talk to her unless you absolutely have to, and even then keep it brief and polite. Your husband needs to deal with his ex himself when they need to talk about kid related stuff.

Your husband also needs to talk to his kid that if the child has a problem with you then they need to either talk to you or talk to him and they will discuss it (even if it is just dad telling the kid, tough luck, you are not an adult). The child also needs appropriate punishments for being disrespectful. If the child continues to disrespect you and go behind your back telling tales to their mother, then stop doing things for the child. Stop cooking for that child, stop doing their laundry and start making them wash their own dishes. People who are disrespectful towards you do not deserve your time and attention. If the child is old enough for a cell phone they are old enough to fix themselves something to eat, use a washer and a dryer and wash up some dishes.

Being a step parent is one of the toughest things I have had to deal with. Get some support. I have found some online step parent forums to be invaluable in learning how to stay sane while trying to deal with having someone elses kids in my life.

I like everything you said but that line. How would that fair for her marriage if she starves the man's child in his house? What kind of mother will starve a child as punishment. Going that route will only destroy her marriage.

If the kid is problematic, let the dad resolve it period.

[stepmom 1]

I'm going to be honest with you here. Some people are just mean-spirited. If the mother was being fair, when she called she would have asked you for your side of the story. Biological parents know their kids, especially women. Kids too know how to play one parent agaisnt another one. I would say to you to have a discusion with your husband about this and approach it as non-obejectively as possible. As for the rude mother, she has no right or authority to tell anyone that they should return to their country. Here a fact you are either already a citizen of your new country or you are in the process of becoming one. The issue with you husband's kids can become an emotional strain on you, but onbly if you allow the x and the kids to control you emotionally. Although it may be difficult, don't let it ever be true that the kids say that you treat them differently.

I pray for you in that situation, and I pray that all of the adults in this situation will be able to come together and discuss the issue so athat it will not be likfe a forest that is on fire.

Peace!

Amen to that.

Yes, i think she's not fair, just screaming at me without asking what was going on first. I just dont like she bring up about go back to my country, my country has nothing to do with it. Thank you for your pray, Kjem.

[stepmom 1]

I was in almost a similar situation. But I had a problem with the kids's father. I am the step-dad. He tried to annoy and bother me but I switched to offense instead of defense. I told him he have nothing to do with the rules I put in my house and the kids have to abide it, my house my rules. He can do nothing with it. I even told the kids and made it clear, I told them that I love them and I will takecare of them always but I will not tolerate any shenanigans. If you dont like confronting people, then ignore her and dont let her reach you in anyway.

I hope you are in better condition than mine, yeah it is tiring when outsider bother our rules in our own house. And the hurtful part for me is, they prefer to listen to their mom than me, who taking care of them everyday. There was a time when i just tired from everything, you know what i mean?

A She cant get you deported...ignore her

B continue to treat the kids fairly...in yrs to come they will commend you

c Yes it hurts try not to focus on her words when she calls, she's just jealous

d Have a talk with your hubby , just explain how hurt you feel when this happens & for him to step in

E it will happen again over & over as the kids think if you are gone then mom has a chance

F Remember she is not with him because she has bad ways that even the kids live with him & not her

G Think of her as an after-thought when the kids go complaining to her.

H don't let them scare you kids plays both ends to get their ways.

I Think he wants you not her don't let her ruin your marriage & express that to your husband too.

Good luck...ignore the old goat you've looked after the kids 5 yrs now

Thank you for your nice words, it strengthen me, i hope i will be strong enough to face everything.

I like everything you said but that line. How would that fair for her marriage if she starves the man's child in his house? What kind of mother will starve a child as punishment. Going that route will only destroy her marriage.

If the kid is problematic, let the dad resolve it period.

This anger now comes and go everytime i remember her words, but for feeding them, i still doing it.

Part of being a good parent is rising up and not letting it bother you and treating the kids good all the time. I agree with the others just block contact if they bother you. Being a step parent is tough, but you have plenty of time at it you should just focus on the kids and not worry about their Mom.

Yeah, it is tough being a stepmom, very tough. Because one of the party doesnt wanna cooperate.

[Deagle 508]

I know what you mean, and you should take things easier. Eventually they are not your kids and you have to know that as much as they know it too. They will always listen to their mother. If you want to live simple and happy life, dont get very involved in their lives, let the father deal with them. If you have something tell their father and he will talk to them, if they dont listen let him handle it. Eventually no one will blame you for what they will turn into. I stay out of how my wife raise her kids, even if something i dont like ot agree with is happening, I still dont interfere in anyway because they are simply not my kids and they have a father and mother.

[DaisyD 12]

I like everything you said but that line. How would that fair for her marriage if she starves the man's child in his house? What kind of mother will starve a child as punishment. Going that route will only destroy her marriage.

If the kid is problematic, let the dad resolve it period.

I am not talking about starving the child. The child should be perfectly capable of sorting out a meal for themselves (which I mentioned in my last post if you read carefully enough) and if not, the child has a biological parent (their father) that the live with who needs to step up and do his role in parenting and cook for his own kid. He should also be stepping up in his husband role and teaching his children how to be respectful towards adults. A father who does not teach his children to respect his wife and who does not do the parenting in his house is the one who will destroy his marriage. If the kid is problematic, the father can cook for them, clean for them and run around after them.