I want a divorce but don't want him to stay here

[JFH 12,189]

I don't see what he says as being a problem. To work and have an education. He hasn't said (from what you've said here) that he doesn't love you or your son. Maybe what he meant was the reason he chose to uproot and leave everything behind was to give his family a better chance by getting a better education and a better job than if you had moved to his country. I don't know where he is from but I'm guessing you have a better standard of living in the USA than in his country.

Why were you recording him anyway? What were you hoping to hear? If you don't want to be with him, and you are not happy then divorce him just as you would if you had married your neighbour. But don't send him thousands of miles away (not that you can anyway) for wanting to work and get a good education to provide for his family. He sounds like a good father. Much better than mine and many others.

[Lee&Ana 88]

Hello,

So I'm married and have a child with someone from a foreign country he got his visa last year and now has a 2 year green card.

Well we are having so much problems and there were many occasions where he specifically stated that the only reason he married and came to USA was to earn money and education.

I want to get a divocre. But will I have custody of my son? And will my husband get to stay here even though we are gonna be divorced by the time he have to renew his green card.

What are some of the problems you claim you are having? What country is your husband from? Maybe you are experiencing cultural differences? All you seem to care about is deporting your husband who you brought here.

[flfreddy 92]

I would divorce and move on..... now you feel bitter... when you next meet another loved one in the future... in 5-10 years this will not be important at all ... instead you would had wished happiness for someone you once had feelings for. Wish the best for someone, even your enemy, let it go. You will feel happiness later that you did not deprived someone of an opportunity to better his life and see his kid EVEN if by legal path, he obtained the green card from you.

Be magnanimous .. and someday you will receive the same back....

[Ortolan 381]

You can't just "send him back" like he's a sour carton of milk. It didn't work out between you two, so make the days from now on work for you, and let the man go his own way.

[Unidentified 2,930]

Why do so many USC's on this website think they can just bring someone here and then throw them out like garbage as soon as the marriage goes south?

Just divorce and move on with your life.

[IcezMan_IcezLady 582]

You made your decision to marry the guy. You went great lengths to convince the government to believe that the relationship is genuine and he got approved for visa and he came.

Now the rest is on you. It is not the responsibility of the govt to correct your "mistake or bad judgment"... You need more evidence as much as what it took you to convince them to give him a visa.

You have a child together.. Allow the man to work or study to better himself so that he can take care of his child. Or you will rather have the man sent back to his home country and seek assistance from the govt? Unless there's an abuse involved, calm down and think about your child.

Good luck!

[SteveKarlaMayer 21]

Maybe the OP felt used by her husband, like he just used her as a stepping stone to come here and do his real purpose which is to study and get a job. I've heard lots of case the same to this one. The reason why the beneficiary stayed a year and have a child with the sponsor was to speed up their GC process. Not all couple who produced a child genuinely love each other. I'm not jumping to conclusion but it seems like the OP felt used in this case.

[Unidentified 2,930]

Maybe the OP felt used by her husband, like he just used her as a stepping stone to come here and do his real purpose which is to study and get a job. I've heard lots of case the same to this one. The reason why the beneficiary stayed a year and have a child with the sponsor was to speed up their GC process. Not all couple who produced a child genuinely love each other. I'm not jumping to conclusion but it seems like the OP felt used in this case.

First of all, a child can't speed up the green card process.

Second of all, even if she feels used, it doesn't change anything. She can't have him deported. They proved they had a genuine relationship, he got his green card and now he can remove conditions without her. Divorce and move on.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

Maybe the OP felt used by her husband, like he just used her as a stepping stone to come here and do his real purpose which is to study and get a job. I've heard lots of case the same to this one. The reason why the beneficiary stayed a year and have a child with the sponsor was to speed up their GC process. Not all couple who produced a child genuinely love each other. I'm not jumping to conclusion but it seems like the OP felt used in this case.

Exactly. What kind of happy fairyland is it that you need love or even a valid relationship to make a child?

Lots of scammers stick around because they think they need to until citizenship or ROC.

It is naive to not consider that most marriages between 1st and 3rd world countries aren't done on the basis of material gain and largely for immigration purposes on the part of the immigrant. However, the way our system is set up, the burden is mostly on the USC to discover this before the immigrant comes to America. But rather than have sympathy, perhaps we should feel upset at them for not doing their due diligence and bringing the spouse to America.

Edited February 12, 2016 by N-o-l-a

[NikLR 13,227]

I agree with Nola on this one. I also agree with only hearing one side of the story.

Not happy? Dont want to try to make it work? Divorce. But dont be vendictive. Your child suffers if you become that.

[Advanced Aardvark 82]

It is illegal in some states to record a conversation without the consent of all parties involved.

Her profile indicates that she is in New Jersey. If this is accurate, she is OK. NJ is a single party consent state for recording conversations.

[Biggestmistake 0]

Maybe the OP felt used by her husband, like he just used her as a stepping stone to come here and do his real purpose which is to study and get a job. I've heard lots of case the same to this one. The reason why the beneficiary stayed a year and have a child with the sponsor was to speed up their GC process. Not all couple who produced a child genuinely love each other. I'm not jumping to conclusion but it seems like the OP felt used in this case.

Thank you that's excatly how I feel. And the fact that he keeps asking when can he file for citizenship doesn't make me at peace either. He was in a hurry to make a child too.

Thank you all for responding anyways. It sucks that he gets to stay here what's the point of giving him a conditional green card then might as well give him citizenship righy when they get here.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

A child does not speed anything up. Instead of being selfish wanting to send him back, think of the child first.

[NikLR 13,227]

Well no... it takes 5 years if you get divorced. And he still needs to prove himself. They can deny it.

Have you talked about why this bothers you? Have you tried counselling? Have you said you feel used? What can he do to make you not feel this way?

Takes 2 to make a child. Just becaude he was in a hurry you could do many things to prevent pregnancy.

[Arslan12 20]

Thank you that's excatly how I feel. And the fact that he keeps asking when can he file for citizenship doesn't make me at peace either. He was in a hurry to make a child too.

Thank you all for responding anyways. It sucks that he gets to stay here what's the point of giving him a conditional green card then might as well give him citizenship righy when they get here.

So that's just your feeling. If your marriage is not working out, It doesn't mean that its your husband's fault. Him leaving the US won't do any good to you, It won't make you happy knowing that father of your child is no longer in the country and can't have any access to your child for whole life. It is understandable that you are feeling used, angry and depressed. The best thing for you to do is to seek counseling. And this country is very big, you can assure yourself that he won't be in your way to success and happiness!