Help Settle an old argument

[luvaLimey 0]

OK, since every argument has two sides, I'll put both up for you to see, in a non-gender-descriptive way so there'll be no bias as to whether you like me more than them.

Side #1

"You travel 1000 miles to see a band with your other half, you hate the band, they're the lowest point in music you've heard since agadoo, but you go anyway, becaause your just that nice and think your other half deserves it.

You get in to the concert, you're surrounded by emo cretins, and ageing rockers, and rhythymically challenged hippies. You settle in and the band plays, and they're just as bad as you knew they would be, so you sit, bide your time.

Your other half has been pogoing his/her azz off for a while, seemingly oblivious to your utter boredom (you don't mind, you had an idea it would be like this) BUT! they then turn to you give you a smirk and say, "I know you're not enjoying this, but I am, so..."

Was the last word of the unfinished sentence more likely to be:

Thank you

or

#### you "

Side #2

"So say you haven't been to a concert in 10 years and your OH knows this and wants to take you to see your favorite band, even though he/she thinks they are sh*t.

They drive through the night to get you to the concert on time, and sit there patiently while you have a really great time. Every time you look over at them, you see how bored they are and wish they could be having as much fun as you.

You're overwhelmed by how much they must care for you to sit and listen to music they hate just so you can have a good time, and want to acknowledge this fact, but don't know what to say.

You say "I know you're not having a good time, but I am so..." and then don't know how to continue.

Option A : Thank You

Option B: #### you."

Thanks in advance. Like I said, it's been going on for two years.

[Jenn! 918]

Slightly confused here, but voted "thank you." I can't imagine anyone saying "fukc you" in that situation unless it was just a joke or something.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that you were the one who didn't like the band....

[SoL. 0]

I voted thank you because I don't think I would say F-U to my other half... Plus for me this situation really doesn't call for a F-U

[nbrown0247 0]

I would say Thank you, you are talking about your other aren't you... There is no call to say F to your other.....But to say next time lets choose a band that we together can relate to and enjoy.....You are a special person to endure this for a love one or friend...

Nancy

[Nessa 23]

Slightly confused here, but voted "thank you." I can't imagine anyone saying "fukc you" in that situation unless it was just a joke or something.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that you were the one who didn't like the band....

ditto

[Otto 83]

OK, since every argument has two sides, I'll put both up for you to see, in a non-gender-descriptive way so there'll be no bias as to whether you like me more than them.

You get in to the concert, you're surrounded by emo cretins, and ageing rockers, and rhythymically challenged hippies. You settle in and the band plays, and they're just as bad as you knew they would be, so you sit, bide your time.

Good thing there was no bias...

I see the two sides as...Selfless and Selfish.

1. Selfless brings his/her dumba$$ SO to a concert because he/she wants to be together.
   
2. Selfish is a spoiled brat of a wanna-be-music-snob who stomps his/her feet and gets mad 'cause he/she doesn't like the band...waaaaahhhh Somebody needs a spanking and a time-out.
   

~Rant

[Saddle Bronc 124]

OK, since every argument has two sides, I'll put both up for you to see, in a non-gender-descriptive way so there'll be no bias as to whether you like me more than them.

You get in to the concert, you're surrounded by emo cretins, and ageing rockers, and rhythymically challenged hippies. You settle in and the band plays, and they're just as bad as you knew they would be, so you sit, bide your time.

Good thing there was no bias...

I see the two sides as...Selfless and Selfish.

1. Selfless brings his/her dumba$$ SO to a concert because he/she wants to be together.
   
2. Selfish is a spoiled brat of a wanna-be-music-snob who stomps his/her feet and gets mad 'cause he/she doesn't like the band...waaaaahhhh Somebody needs a spanking and a time-out.
   

~Rant

[JenT 0]

I voted for thank you...

If it were "f*** you' then you wouldn't need to ask.... there would be other relationship evidence of this sort of answer being a typical response.

Edited March 12, 2007 by JenT

[Alex+R 0]

I could see another part of the story being that the person who didn't want to go was being a real ####### about it the whole time (and their SO had indeed perceived their utter boredom) and then they might kind of deserve a tamer version of F* U.

[Alex+R 0]

PS in this situation I would not have gone to the show at all. Rey and I share a lot of music we both like but his all time favorite stuff is like nails on a chalkboard to me. There is no way I'm going with him to that, because I probably could ONLY act like you described--bored and irritated and anxious to go home.

eta: if i wanted to be part of his religious experience of seeing a band he loves, I might surprise him with tix for him and a friend

Edited March 12, 2007 by Alex+R

[Nagishkaw 510]

Thank You, as some things are better off unspoken.

[chri'stina 190]

A concert doesn't last that long, so even if I went to something with Sujeet that I hated, I would be fine and would make it through the night. No big deal.

I can't say which one I think the person would say since I don't know the person or their personality. Saying F you may not be a big deal to them. I would never say that to Sujeet but I never say the F word anyway. Some people say it every other word. So they might not think it's that wrong to say even to their SO. But who knows.

If this happened 2 years ago, yet you are still together and in love(I'm assuming), then why not just forgive each other? Yesterday at church we heard about forgiveness and if you don't forgive it turns into bitterness.

If he/she think they said "F you" to them, after 2 years can't you just forgive each other? And if he/she was mad that whoever was acting bored, can't he/she forgive them for acting bored? I think there is no point to go on even longer with this argument. It's not worth it in my opinion. If you love each other, just try to forgive each other and get on with it. Sometimes people say mean things to each other even when they are married, but they don't mean it. So even if the person said F you, it's time to move on and forget about it unless it's something that has affected every moment of your marriage since then. Then it's a huge issue. If not, then time to move on.

Edited March 12, 2007 by stina&suj

[meauxna 15]

The lesson I am finally coming to terms with?

Don't "try" to please unless you know for certain the OH is craving the missing whatever.

Ours goes like this:

"Ooh, we're in Mexico, we can get Nescafe at this here supermarket for such a good price!"

A: I can get it at home at the Mexican shop. It only costs a dollar more.

"Ooh, you can get Paracetemol here!"

A: I like Advil now.

"Ooh, look, mushy peas in a can!"

A: Do you want some? (as if)

I've finally explained that all of the above As sound like F U. The correct answer is "Thank you for thinking of me. I'm perfectly happy with everything we get at home now".

[Mags 112]

I voted "Thank You".

[Saddle Bronc 124]

For us, it would be "thank you".

(while the tone may not be too nice, any arguments would be settled quickly)

Edited March 12, 2007 by CherryXS