Unconventional engagement and wedding

[KATIEandMAX 1]

We just had our interview here in LA and it was SO quick! I am guessing you will have your interview there too since you live in the area! They did not ask about an engagement date or anything like that. We also equally decided to get married without any specific "asking" moment.

We were privately married under a tree in the hills of North Hollywood and had our later celebration with family about 6 months following that.

The whole AOS process went quite quick for us and we ended up getting called in for our interview 2 days after our "real" wedding celebration. We didn't even announce that we were engaged publicly because we didn't feel like having the attention. (our families of course knew as soon as we decided! But not social medias, etc) We simply waited until our planned date of celebration to announce and celebrate even if the interview fell somewhere in between there. It did not pose as any problem to them. Just be honest

We brought lots of photos, but it seems like the officer was mainly happy to see any photos of us traveling or with each others families. So I guess it would help to start gathering those now! Take photos of the two of you with family/friends as much as possible.

Maybe we were lucky, but we had an officer that was simple and to the point. She did not ask any prying questions or much at all, actually, other than how we met and why we decided to get married.

It went well and we got approved on the spot! The whole interview was about 10 - 15 minutes. Mainly the questions were asked to my husband, who is a Swedish citizen.

In our opinion, the interview part was the easiest of the entire process. The application is where difficulties arise, but as long as you are thorough and honest you should not have any problems.

Good luck!

[Tom & Erin 0]

Just a note if you insist on trying to plan a wedding after the small civil marriage- you may have a hard time finding a minister or rabbi to perform another marriage. We couldn't find anyone to do it- they'd reaffirm our vows but not perform another marriage because we were already married.

Good to know. While my family is mixed Christian/Jewish, neither my fiancé nor I are very religious, and we had planned on having a close friend perform the "ceremony." And since we'll already be legally married, that person won't even have to be ordained! Super convenient.

[Tom & Erin 0]

We had a civil ceremony and then had a big wedding months later (because I'm crazy and I planned a wedding in 5 months). I don't advise it. I loved my wedding but I nearly went nuts planning it in such a short time, we had to change the date because we weren't sure when he would do his POE. You have a wonderful plan, many couples do it.

Don't agree with what Loki_Go was saying. Plenty of my friends here in NYC had civil ceremonies and then had rabbis/ministers marry them. They don't care, legal and religious vows are not the same. Maybe orthodox rabbis but again never heard of that issue. If you do encounter this issue, may I suggest a wonderful solution. A justice of the peace, non denominational GORGEOUSLY worded ceremonies, you can work with them on how the ceremony will be done and worded and it's great. We had one and he was happy to incorporate Jewish elements and was really excited about the opportunity.

And really, put all these worries out of your mind until you have the K1 in hand, there are much more pertinent things to consider like where you will live and work

Man, with the number of people mentioning rabbis on here, I had to double check my profile to see if I'd mentioned being Jewish We figure we'll get legally married by judge, and then when we later have what we consider to be our "real" wedding, we'll have a close friend perform the ceremony. And since we'll already be married, the friend won't even have to be ordained, which is convenient.

My fiancé isn't religious, but I am Jewish, and want to incorporate certain elements as well. And after he attended my brother's wedding, he now really wants to smash a glass (read: lightbulb wrapped in a napkin) with his foot. And he thinks chuppahs are pretty : )

Thanks for the encouragement, I really appreciate it.

[Tom & Erin 0]

The whole AOS process went quite quick for us and we ended up getting called in for our interview 2 days after our "real" wedding celebration. We didn't even announce that we were engaged publicly because we didn't feel like having the attention. (our families of course knew as soon as we decided! But not social medias, etc) We simply waited until our planned date of celebration to announce and celebrate even if the interview fell somewhere in between there. It did not pose as any problem to them. Just be honest

This makes me feel SO much better. Other than our immediate families and a few very close friends, no one knows we're engaged. We really want our wedding (when we do it the way we want it) to be the day that people think of us as getting married, so until then, it's not really public information. This kind of worried me for the AOS interview too (like if they ask why we're not married on facebook or whatever), but I think as long as we're honest about our thought process, it'll be okay.

And we definitely have pictures of us with each other's families. We even made sure to get one of our families together when my parents came to visit me in Europe last year!

I just hope we get the same interviewer in LA that you did!

[Kl30morg 7]

This makes me feel SO much better. Other than our immediate families and a few very close friends, no one knows we're engaged. We really want our wedding (when we do it the way we want it) to be the day that people think of us as getting married, so until then, it's not really public information. This kind of worried me for the AOS interview too (like if they ask why we're not married on facebook or whatever), but I think as long as we're honest about our thought process, it'll be okay.

And we definitely have pictures of us with each other's families. We even made sure to get one of our families together when my parents came to visit me in Europe last year!

I just hope we get the same interviewer in LA that you did!

It sounds like you're describing my relationship in every single detail- we aren't wearing rings, haven't told anyone outside of family, and plan on getting "married-married" once he get's a job/saves/etc for all those reasons you've described. We're even having an un-ordained friend perform the ceremony in front of family and friends once we do the whole big show. Thanks for posting this, now I feel better!

[TnJ 131]

For the K1 - We weren't asked about an engagement date. They DID ask when we plan to get married, when we first met, how many times we had met/visited each other. It's good to be on the same page with those dates. Agree on an engagement date too if it helps you feel better. Can't guarantee it won't be asked, but I haven't seen any trouble with this.

For AOS - We sent exactly what was asked of us. We sent the marriage certificate. We had already sent in more than enough evidence to show we were a genuine couple with the I-129f. Can't speak about rings because we didn't get an interview. We had a civil wedding less than a month after arrival around the date we agreed upon at the K-1 interview. Less than 10 people were there. Two years later, we had a grand renewing of vows ceremony for her and her family.

Seems like you guys have it together. Knowing pertinent dates is always a good thing, but don't stress over the wedding so much. Just do it, show that you've done it, and plan for any future gatherings at your own leisure without the pressure of this process.

[sabellic 33]

Hi! I had my interview on the 4th and I got asked how my fiance proposed to me. I was honest and said it wasnt romantic at all, just something we both talked about for years and agreed on. I dont even have a ring haha. They didnt mind and my visa got approved. Good luck and let us know how it went