I864 withdrawl from spouse. Substitute allowed?

[Pennydrop 0]

I do not know when you filed because you haven't updated your timeline. But I still think you are worrying about something that might not even happen. Focus more on supporting your husband than worrying about something that may or may not happen.

Did you file for a work permit when you applied for your Green Card?

Yes I did apply for a work permit as well. I gave up my work in Europe to come here and I want to work here.

You are perhaps correct in saying I am worrying about something that has not as yet happened but if I can prevent a catastrophe from happening I would like to be prepared and considered all alternatives before hand and not later in a state of panic.

[Alaska2012 462]

But you came on a K1. If your marriage goes down the drain before you even get your green card or he pulls the affidavit you have no real option. If you wanted to come here and work maybe you should have taken another route than a K1

[Unidentified 2,930]

But you came on a K1. If your marriage goes down the drain before you even get your green card or he pulls the affidavit you have no real option. If you wanted to come here and work maybe you should have taken another route than a K1

I agree. Sounds to me the OP is waaaay more concerned about working and living in the US then she is for her husband. If my husband was feeling down and depressed, all my focus would be on him, not my potential green card.

OP, like Alaska2012 said: you came to the US to marry your husband, if your marriage fails before you get your green card or there's no affidavit of support then your option is to go home.

[jam2016 10]

Starting and having a life together means a lot for both parties in a marriage. Both parties must willing to give up and sacrifice for each other. It also means sometimes that one must give up more to be with the other and you already knew that. But it's based on true love and relationship and understandings and have faith on the other person.

If you are at no fault and trying to find ways to help your husband during this trying time, you are already doing all you could. But if your husband will take off and dump your case in the bin, you already know you are better off looking for another job back home.

May be you are worrying too much and he will come around after some "Time". The amount of time it needs to heal varies for each person but hopefully, it'll be sooner than later.

Currently, all you can do for him is show more caring, love, understanding and patience that he will come around. If he truly loves you, he will not abandon you till the end (of life) and not just for the USCIS interview.

Consider this is the time to prove that you truly love him and understands him. He is the one that requires proving. Not the USCIS officer.

Have faith in him if you thinks he truly loves you and wants to be with you!

Edited January 25, 2016 by jam2016

[Pennydrop 0]

I didn't come here to just work, I came here after a year long romance on both sides of the pond looking forward to a loving and long relationship. Working is part and parcel of such a life today.

I gave up absolultly everything, shut down my life in Europe to start again new in the USA. Hence a genuine K1 Visa route that was going well. Until!!!!!

if just happens, and I should just go with the flow is the order of the day or the answer to the problem then perhaps USA is not for me!

[Pitaya 2,577]

~One thread removed for TOS violation:

Attempt to bypass the Forums language filter through the use of alternative characters to spell profanities or through the posting of images containing profanity.

REF: http://www.visajourney.com/content/terms

~The site's profanity filters redacted one instance of profanity in previous thread.~

~This is a family-friendly site, please refrain from posting profanity, or do not post~

Pitaya

VJ Moderation

Edited January 25, 2016 by Pitaya

[Unidentified 2,930]

As he even mentioned withdrawing Affidavit?

[Pennydrop 0]

Thank you all but most of you are missing the point. I cannot help my husband when I 8000 miles away. We are talking here of two professional adults who are both capable of living alone if it has to be. It is not about having to stay in USA but wanting to and to having a good life together.

So once again does anyone have a solution to I 864 possibly being withdrawn ? That is the point and not marriage advice.

[Alaska2012 462]

If he withdraws the I864 there are no other options but to go home. He must be the primary sponsor. There is no way around it.

[Unidentified 2,930]

Thank you all but most of you are missing the point. I cannot help my husband when I 8000 miles away. We are talking here of two professional adults who are both capable of living alone if it has to be. It is not about having to stay in USA but wanting to and to having a good life together.

So once again does anyone have a solution to I 864 possibly being withdrawn ? That is the point and not marriage advice.

Since you don't even have an approved AOS your AOS will be denied without the Affidavit of Support.

[nane1104 146]

There is no other solution to the issue of a sponsor pulling the Affidavit of Support.

I feel for you and Your concerns but I am having a hard time thinking why your husband would go there? Why would he jeopardize his marriage to you, since it sounds like you are his support in this difficult time.

I understand that people who grief are often not good decision makers but your scenarios seem a bit unlikely to become a reality unless he would have other reasons to pull the plug on your AOS application.

When have you filed? You might get approved without an interview or at least get your EAD approved soon so you can work and take pressure of of the financial responsibilities if that's a burden for him right now.

I think all you can do at this point is to assure him that things will get better and that you will help him get through this no matter what.

[Pennydrop 0]

Thank you all for getting back on track and I see that if the affidavit is pulled I am on a plane to a past life. Perhaps he won't but as posted people under stress tend to either be aggressive or want to run away.

We will see what happens

Thank you all

[jam2016 10]

If you are still in your country, why are you saying that as your past life? It's not completely lost yet. I guess you need to apply for another job and all. But not completely lost?

Restoring a partially lost life is easier than the life with no future.

But again, keep your hope up and help your Hubby in anyway you can to make it work. I understand you don't need marriage advise but you are trying to look for options that does not exist.

[IcezMan_IcezLady 582]

Not everyone wants/needs professional help. Some people just need time.

So you're saying he's not going to work? You don't think he'll attend the interview once you get to that stage?

I totally agree with that. Not everyone will accept help.

[RobertM54 36]

A couple of other considerations.

- My impression is you are a worrier personality type that thinks a lot about how things could go wrong. If this is true, how helpful are you to your husband at this time? Do you both need a little space?

- As several others have pointed out - if you are part of the solution to his life, he is not likely to pull the plug and should be able to drag himself through the interviews.

- You mentioned joint counseling. Would you consider a little individual help improving your coping skills in this stressful time? My personal story is when I got my nephew, the kid was a mess. My wife and I went to counseling separately from the kid to get coaching on how to help him with his issues.

- A non-working spouse who does not have major control issues can be an enormous blessing and source of support. I hope it all works out for you both through the normal marital problem resolution route.

blessing on you both.