Divorce after 2 years of marriage to Philippine wife

[going2PH 2]

Hello everyone, I am new to this board. I seek help from people who can understand my situation. I am a mail 48 and look 38 for my age. And I have a good job and take care of my Philippine wife. We have 1 child 15 months old. The last 2 years has been hell with my wife.

I understand cultural divergence but every day or every other day my wife argues with me I have to leave the bedroom to sleep on the couch for 30 minute while she falls asleep. We even tried different birth control. The 2nd for sure helped but I have Philippine girl friends at work that say my wife doesn't love me. I think my wife loves me but is NOT in love with me if you know what I mean.

Like it is long story and more than just her sex drive with me. I do just about anything for my wife anything.'

Her family needs money for problems again! and I send it

She wants do lots of projects in philipppines like fix her moms teeth, build her mom a house, fund her brothers college, her sister college. I said yes but I want you to stay home with our daughter so she is safe and grows up with her mom. My wife wants to work nights and come home at 7 am and I said huh? you wont be able to watch our daughter you will be dead tired? She said she can do it. She said I don't make enough money to get all her project done as fast as she wants and she wants her own money.

Okay I did the allowance thing each month she got 150.00 to spend for fun. But she would shop online or shop at store and blow in all in one shopping spree. Then she would ask for more money OMGOD!

I fund her brothers college and give him allowance each month which averages 200.00 a month.

Plus here and there family issues maybe comes out to 50-75 bucks per month.

I cut her off from monthly allowance and I told her we both work at saving money. yes she can buy an occasional purse or shoes or what have you but not monthly.

I have so much more make you sick. This is our goals for 2 years.

1. save for Ph trip to see her family about 7,000.00 3 people

2. fix moms teeth with new one 1,000 or maybe 500

3. build mom a house about 5-7 K

4. help her brother in college 150.0 month

5. help her sister get college 200.00 a month

6. buy a house here in USA must have 5,000 down for fees only have va home loan no down payment

I am going to teach nite school at near by college to make extra money

but bottom line is she complains all the time...I don't get hugs and kisses upon arriving home.

I am the one at home asking if she needs anything coffee what have you. I am the one who serves her ( I don't mind as long as I get love and warmth back) but I am the loving man.

when I get home all she wants to do is fb on her phone and chat at me and then ignore me for her tv shows.

and when the baby cries and I am talking to her about something she covers her ears and says you are both so loud.

I am like what??? I was trying to tell her I need a hug and kiss when I come home not just hi!

I need a warm wife who had as soft spot for me.

I have worked very hard for my wife an child to have a good place to leave good things and such and she complains all the time,

tells me other people have houses why don't you. and that I have less than other men that she sees with her friends,

she calls me fat, she when she is sick she is very mean to me. When I am sick I don't get mean to people. She is

mean to me.

no affection

I thought Philippine woman were loving, respectful.

there is so much more, I ask her every day for 2 years when I get home can you put fb and your phone down. so we can talk or I don't have to compete with posts on fb? I mean I don't mind occoassional sharing of things on fb but it is every day and every nite at bed I compete with fb and her friends or post on fb is more important than talking to me.

she has weird things she does.

she complains all the time that I don't make enough money, I cant connect with her and when I want to talk about my needs she says I am weird and want sex to much? huh sometimes 2 days in a rowe if I happen to get luch and snuggle I get excited and she yells at me and calls me weird for getting horny?????????

I know other Philippine friends of my girls that is that are awesome and try to talk to her but she gets mad and says I don't want your friends talking to me giving me their advice? I have a friend ana who has a great marriage

and I talk to all the time she say she and her husband can she janet don't love me the way she acts and ana who is from same island has tried t talk to my wife janet but cannot and says your wife wont listen to reason or wisdom that she has..

my wife listens to no one

my wife had a father who cheated on her mother and I am afraid

I got the daughter who really hates men and only is using me she might have emotions for me but I feel she really don't love me

and I want a divorce but I am afraid..

can anyone give me advice please .. I know this is a visa forum but maybe someone hash gone through this before..

I want a new wife and this time I will look and be smarter. I took the 1st one that came along and next time I will be much smarter.

what do you think guys? can you give me some wisdom?

Edited January 15, 2016 by Penguin_ie

[TBoneTX 45,469]

*** Thread moved from Off Topic forum to the Effects of Major Changes forum. ***

[Moderator hat off]

Pal, you're being used in a way beyond belief. No, she doesn't love you. Lose her immediately and permanently.

[Tahoma 2,292]

I want a new wife and this time I will look and be smarter.

I took the 1st one that came along and next time I will be much smarter.

What do you think guys? can you give me some wisdom?

Buddy, you already know what you need to do.

[Darnell 8,478]

seems you picked up an overseas foreign worker, not a wife.

well, since yer married, do you want to divorce or no ?

if yes, well, divorce !

if no, i have no advice for you at all.

[Alaska2012 462]

You took the first one that came along and now you want a new one? Dude you are not buying a car! How long did you know your wife before you got married and moved her over? How many times did you meet before sending in the paperwork?

[Penguin_ie 5,994]

***** Sexual content from the Op and replies to that removed. This is a family friendly site. *******

[Sandra G. 5,050]

She doesn't love you at all.You were her free ticket to America, now you are the one she is using to financially help her family. I have no simpathy for this kind of woman at all. Divorce, file for custody of your child, and let's see how she will survive without your money.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Cut the money flow. Save for you and your child. Put your foot down. If she wants to send money to family then let it come from her earnings.
Tell her you have had enough of her spoiled brat attitude and if she won't agree to counseling then you will know what to do.

People will treat you to the degree that you allow them to.

[clairegie 265]

Your wife is one of those people that grew up thinking that once she marries an American, she married a billionare aka "The American Dream". I am glad that my husband and I sat down and he clearly described how life really is like in the States because all I knew was what I saw on TV growing up. And I also spoke to my parents and told them upfront that I won't be the Filipino child that is expected to send money all the time. I am willing to HELP once in a while, but I won't be responsible for raising my brother and I would never put that burden on my husband. Cold as it may sound, I didn't choose to bring that kid into the world, so why should I pay for his education? Thats a parent's responsibility.

You need to stop giving this girl and her family any money. If after you speak to her and she still refuses to change, then divorce. The D word should jolt a little bit of sense (hopefully) in her.

Edited January 16, 2016 by iammrsregie

[caliliving 606]

Seriously. Are you that delusional? Unfortunately, you are providing for her and funding her life in America. Also, I am going to bet she only had a child with you so that it loos like she entered in a 'bonfide relation' to immigration. Aka.. she had a kid with you because it is THAT MUCH HARDER to remove her from America based on the fact they would be removing her from her child. I have seen this happen before. CUT HER OFF!! Figure out a way to have SOLE CUSTODY of the child and send her back to PI!

You say you thought PI women were loving and respectful? Sounds like you were seeking out a Phllipino woman based on what someone was telling you:( You keep talking about PI friends wives that you know that are amazing wives ect. A wife should be loving and respectful, regardless of their demographic.

Does a wife ask you to fund her family vacations? Does a wife ask you to fund her brothers college tuition? Does a wife not deny you sexual gratification? And work nights. WHERE does your wife work? Is she a nurse? that is the ONLY profession I can see a PI woman coming home at 7am. And if she is a nurse, she will have enough money to fund her family lifestyle back home. What does she tell you she does for work?

Unfortunately, your wife is a bar/call girl/worker. She used you, and had a child to further use you.

Protect your child an cut her off.

[caliliving 606]

Not to bring it up, but you have a 15 month old and you say the last 2 years of your life has been hell. Do the math! The minute your wife got pregnant she checked out of your relationship!!! She understands the game! She knows how this all works, and I am going to bet she is one step ahead of you!!!! (watch the VAWA waiver come forward!) Protect yourself, your assets and your kid.

[POA 178]

Hello everyone, I am new to this board. I seek help from people who can understand my situation. I am a mail 48 and look 38 for my age. And I have a good job and take care of my Philippine wife. We have 1 child 15 months old. The last 2 years has been hell with my wife.

I understand cultural divergence but every day or every other day my wife argues with me I have to leave the bedroom to sleep on the couch for 30 minute while she falls asleep. We even tried different birth control. The 2nd for sure helped but I have Philippine girl friends at work that say my wife doesn't love me. I think my wife loves me but is NOT in love with me if you know what I mean.

Like it is long story and more than just her sex drive with me. I do just about anything for my wife anything.'

Her family needs money for problems again! and I send it

She wants do lots of projects in philipppines like fix her moms teeth, build her mom a house, fund her brothers college, her sister college. I said yes but I want you to stay home with our daughter so she is safe and grows up with her mom. My wife wants to work nights and come home at 7 am and I said huh? you wont be able to watch our daughter you will be dead tired? She said she can do it. She said I don't make enough money to get all her project done as fast as she wants and she wants her own money.

Okay I did the allowance thing each month she got 150.00 to spend for fun. But she would shop online or shop at store and blow in all in one shopping spree. Then she would ask for more money OMGOD!

I fund her brothers college and give him allowance each month which averages 200.00 a month.

Plus here and there family issues maybe comes out to 50-75 bucks per month.

I cut her off from monthly allowance and I told her we both work at saving money. yes she can buy an occasional purse or shoes or what have you but not monthly.

I have so much more make you sick. This is our goals for 2 years.

1. save for Ph trip to see her family about 7,000.00 3 people

2. fix moms teeth with new one 1,000 or maybe 500

3. build mom a house about 5-7 K

4. help her brother in college 150.0 month

5. help her sister get college 200.00 a month

6. buy a house here in USA must have 5,000 down for fees only have va home loan no down payment

I am going to teach nite school at near by college to make extra money

but bottom line is she complains all the time...I don't get hugs and kisses upon arriving home.

I am the one at home asking if she needs anything coffee what have you. I am the one who serves her ( I don't mind as long as I get love and warmth back) but I am the loving man.

when I get home all she wants to do is fb on her phone and chat at me and then ignore me for her tv shows.

and when the baby cries and I am talking to her about something she covers her ears and says you are both so loud.

I am like what??? I was trying to tell her I need a hug and kiss when I come home not just hi!

I need a warm wife who had as soft spot for me.

I have worked very hard for my wife an child to have a good place to leave good things and such and she complains all the time,

tells me other people have houses why don't you. and that I have less than other men that she sees with her friends,

she calls me fat, she when she is sick she is very mean to me. When I am sick I don't get mean to people. She is

mean to me.

no affection

I thought Philippine woman were loving, respectful.

there is so much more, I ask her every day for 2 years when I get home can you put fb and your phone down. so we can talk or I don't have to compete with posts on fb? I mean I don't mind occoassional sharing of things on fb but it is every day and every nite at bed I compete with fb and her friends or post on fb is more important than talking to me.

she has weird things she does.

she complains all the time that I don't make enough money, I cant connect with her and when I want to talk about my needs she says I am weird and want sex to much? huh sometimes 2 days in a rowe if I happen to get luch and snuggle I get excited and she yells at me and calls me weird for getting horny?????????

I know other Philippine friends of my girls that is that are awesome and try to talk to her but she gets mad and says I don't want your friends talking to me giving me their advice? I have a friend ana who has a great marriage

and I talk to all the time she say she and her husband can she janet don't love me the way she acts and ana who is from same island has tried t talk to my wife janet but cannot and says your wife wont listen to reason or wisdom that she has..

my wife listens to no one

my wife had a father who cheated on her mother and I am afraid

I got the daughter who really hates men and only is using me she might have emotions for me but I feel she really don't love me

and I want a divorce but I am afraid..

can anyone give me advice please .. I know this is a visa forum but maybe someone hash gone through this before..

I want a new wife and this time I will look and be smarter. I took the 1st one that came along and next time I will be much smarter.

what do you think guys? can you give me some wisdom?

Well, first of, she does really seem to have a problem however, you are trying to keep her with what she wants to do. She wanted to work, let her work but also let her share expenses in the house. that's what I would do if I am in your situation. If you want to try that at least, try to meet half-way. Try to think too, why does she no longer listen to you? Did you ever have a heart to heart with her that if we didn't work together you might not work? Obviously, she cares too much for her family in the Philippines, more than he cares for you but try to show her the importance of your existence. Easy to say but tough love will be useful but if she responded as if she doesn't care if her kid will have a broken family, then let go. Don't prolong your agony.

[Loki_Go 126]

I don't think anything OP does is going to make this a loving, bona fide marriage. It seems the wife came over to give her and her family a better life and is doing the bare minimum to keep OP from filing divorce. It won't matter how OP tries to set up finances. It won't matter if they go to marriage counseling... none of it will matter. OP needs to divorce and get out of this mess. To me it looks like the wife wants to work nights so there's no more chance she has to have sex with her husband any more. This is really sad.

On the other hand, I'm glad OP made this thread. Maybe this will give him a wake up call to get out of this and divorce her. It's awful and it seems like OP doesn't stand up for himself very much so it'll be that much harder. I hope you find the strength OP. Please divorce this woman and take care of your daughter.

[Gregory&Dyn 113]

I feel for you, brother, but this story is largely one sided. You have painted a perfectly black picture of your wife while seemingly bathing yourself in light. I'm not discounting your situation, but take a step backwards and look at yourself. Where have you fallen short? What can you do differently? Have you subjected yourself to her needs (beyond finances)? Truthfully, this story is waaaaaaaay too one sided for me to buy into it.

[Avery Cates 1,141]

Hello everyone, I am new to this board. I seek help from people who can understand my situation. I am a mail 48 and look 38 for my age. And I have a good job and take care of my Philippine wife. We have 1 child 15 months old. The last 2 years has been hell with my wife.

I understand cultural divergence but every day or every other day my wife argues with me I have to leave the bedroom to sleep on the couch for 30 minute while she falls asleep. We even tried different birth control. The 2nd for sure helped but I have Philippine girl friends at work that say my wife doesn't love me. I think my wife loves me but is NOT in love with me if you know what I mean.

Like it is long story and more than just her sex drive with me. I do just about anything for my wife anything.'

Her family needs money for problems again! and I send it

She wants do lots of projects in philipppines like fix her moms teeth, build her mom a house, fund her brothers college, her sister college. I said yes but I want you to stay home with our daughter so she is safe and grows up with her mom. My wife wants to work nights and come home at 7 am and I said huh? you wont be able to watch our daughter you will be dead tired? She said she can do it. She said I don't make enough money to get all her project done as fast as she wants and she wants her own money.

Okay I did the allowance thing each month she got 150.00 to spend for fun. But she would shop online or shop at store and blow in all in one shopping spree. Then she would ask for more money OMGOD!

I fund her brothers college and give him allowance each month which averages 200.00 a month.

Plus here and there family issues maybe comes out to 50-75 bucks per month.

I cut her off from monthly allowance and I told her we both work at saving money. yes she can buy an occasional purse or shoes or what have you but not monthly.

I have so much more make you sick. This is our goals for 2 years.

1. save for Ph trip to see her family about 7,000.00 3 people

2. fix moms teeth with new one 1,000 or maybe 500

3. build mom a house about 5-7 K

4. help her brother in college 150.0 month

5. help her sister get college 200.00 a month

6. buy a house here in USA must have 5,000 down for fees only have va home loan no down payment

I am going to teach nite school at near by college to make extra money

but bottom line is she complains all the time...I don't get hugs and kisses upon arriving home.

I am the one at home asking if she needs anything coffee what have you. I am the one who serves her ( I don't mind as long as I get love and warmth back) but I am the loving man.

when I get home all she wants to do is fb on her phone and chat at me and then ignore me for her tv shows.

and when the baby cries and I am talking to her about something she covers her ears and says you are both so loud.

I am like what??? I was trying to tell her I need a hug and kiss when I come home not just hi!

I need a warm wife who had as soft spot for me.

I have worked very hard for my wife an child to have a good place to leave good things and such and she complains all the time,

tells me other people have houses why don't you. and that I have less than other men that she sees with her friends,

she calls me fat, she when she is sick she is very mean to me. When I am sick I don't get mean to people. She is

mean to me.

no affection

I thought Philippine woman were loving, respectful.

there is so much more, I ask her every day for 2 years when I get home can you put fb and your phone down. so we can talk or I don't have to compete with posts on fb? I mean I don't mind occoassional sharing of things on fb but it is every day and every nite at bed I compete with fb and her friends or post on fb is more important than talking to me.

she has weird things she does.

she complains all the time that I don't make enough money, I cant connect with her and when I want to talk about my needs she says I am weird and want sex to much? huh sometimes 2 days in a rowe if I happen to get luch and snuggle I get excited and she yells at me and calls me weird for getting horny?????????

I know other Philippine friends of my girls that is that are awesome and try to talk to her but she gets mad and says I don't want your friends talking to me giving me their advice? I have a friend ana who has a great marriage

and I talk to all the time she say she and her husband can she janet don't love me the way she acts and ana who is from same island has tried t talk to my wife janet but cannot and says your wife wont listen to reason or wisdom that she has..

my wife listens to no one

my wife had a father who cheated on her mother and I am afraid

I got the daughter who really hates men and only is using me she might have emotions for me but I feel she really don't love me

and I want a divorce but I am afraid..

can anyone give me advice please .. I know this is a visa forum but maybe someone hash gone through this before..

I want a new wife and this time I will look and be smarter. I took the 1st one that came along and next time I will be much smarter.

what do you think guys? can you give me some wisdom?

You are the one that every woman from the Philippines hopes to land. An easy ticket to America with no spine who will send himself to the poor house for whatever she wants.

You passed with flying colors.

It's absolutely time to trade her in.