divorce..really need help

[helphope2016 0]

hi,

please can i get help on my current situation, my marriage is not working out and i want to know what options i have. we have been fighting constantly recently and things have not been working working out. my wife is thinking about separating and filing for divorce. it is mutual as both of us don't get along right now. we started dating in mid 2013, both of us connected as we were both in our late 20's and had a similar family background, i proposed to her and we started living together in jan 2014 and got married in sept 2014. we moved from nj to atlanta as her parents lived there and ended up moving in with her parents to save rent money so we could save to get a house.

i have had a torrid time getting used to atlanta and cant bear being here anymore. been unemployed for 4 months now and i quit my job in dec of 2014 after i moved from nj and got a job here for 6 months in feb 14 but had a tough time adjusting to the new job and quit it. i am also sick of living with her parents as i dont have enough money to get a new place. we have just fought each other to a standstill and both want out. my i 485 interview was delayed because they wanted an extended background check from uscis but i finally got my card on nov 7 2015. my question is as not a lot of time has passed since i got the conditional green card, what impact will that have on me getting a 10 yr card.

docs i gave for i 485 interview in nov

joint health insurance

joint car insurance

joint checking account

joint taxes for 2014

gym membership cards

letter from her parents stating we live in their house rent free.

came to u.s in 2005 as F-1.

finished college and started working on H-1b in oct 2009.

married on sep 7 2014

filed for I-130 and i 485 dec 12 2014

got approved and got conditional card nov 7 2015

never been out of status on any of my visas and my h-1b was valid till oct 2016 when i got married.

current documents i have

joint health insurance

joint car insurance

joint checking account (it has very little money in it as ive been using credit cards which are in my name)

that same gym membership i gave 2 months earlier.

some pictures

will that be enough documents and after the divorce because shes adamant that shes filing within the next one week and it takes about 2 months to finalize and get the decree when is the best time to apply for 10 yr green card. straight away or before nov 2017 when it expires. also what are my chances of getting booted out of the country, i really do feel like because if i had just stayed in nj with my employer i would have never been in this situation and wouldve applied for my green card thru the firm.

i know this is a lot of info but i would appreciate your help. i would go to my lawyer who did my case but i cant as shes my wifes family lawyer too.

[tuckin14 58]

No one can ever tell what will be "enough."

In principle it should work in your favor that you had an H1-B so didn't marry for the green card, but it probably won't.

You have the choice to file immediately after the divorce or wait until expiration.

I don't think anyone here knows what effect it will have that the gap between getting your green card and divorce was small. It sounds like you applied promptly but it took a while to process.

So alas, I can't, and probably no one else can authoritatively, answer your questions.

[helphope2016 0]

I really really appreciate your response, it has been just a little over 2 months since I got the conditional green card so I'm just a little worried about the timing of the divorce. The delay in me getting the conditional green card was due to a prolonged background check. I had a worse case question if everything goes bad and uscis denies my case and the judge denies it too, how long is that whole process. I just want to plan out my life.

Thanks. Appreciate your help again

[Unidentified 2,930]

Have you guys considered couples therapy? This is going to sound judgmental but it seems like a lot of people jump to divorce as soon as things get rocky. You married "for better or worse" right? Is the marriage worth saving?

[Villanelle 4,122]

Well there is no such thing as having too many documents. What you describe having is about the average amount with out utility bills or leases- however I believe you mentioned having a statement from the parents you live or lived with stating you dont pay rent or utilities. I would suggest you browse the ROC subforum paying attention to posts that are lists of evidence. You may get additional ideas- because again there is no such thing as having too much.

Anyway, anytime you divorce or separate soon after the GC is issued there will be additional scrutiny to determine if the marriage was bonafide or for benefits. There is no official amount of time you need to remain married to qualify to ROC with a divorce waiver. There also is no official timeframe of how long after you get the GC and separate would be considered suspicious. You have to use common sense and common sense says 2 months is suspicious.

As for a general time frame: You have the option to submit ROC with a waiver as soon as you have the final decree (if its before the date your card expires) OR in the 90 day window before the card expires. You must file before the card expires. For people who are unsure of approval they sometimes wait even if they have the decree.

So after you file (which can be at the latest in the 90 day window before the card expires) you go through processing. The average time is about 9 months. Some people go through quicker, some take 1-2 years. There is no way to predict the speed of processing in the future but conservatively you can expect the average of 9 months. IF you are denied it will take several more months to go through appeals processes (if you choose) I mean you can get denied and simply leave or you can fight it. If you fight it, you will probably want a lawyer which will cost you, and an average time for going through that process is anywhere from 6 months and on. If the judge denies you again then you will have to leave.

You also have to keep in mind that now that you have the conditional GC there are no other paths available to you to adjust. You must remove conditions or lose the card. So if in the next 2 years you become involved with another USC you cant simply apply for a GC based on that marriage. The ROC process needs to be complete. You would either have to be approved or denied. If approved you get the 10yr card and no longer have a need to seek benefits from a new relationship or job. If denied after filing or if you choose not to file and surrender the card- you are then able to apply again because of a new relationship or job. Keep in mind if you apply again based on a relationship you will be heavily scrutinized as it appears you are shopping for benefits. You would also have to do some of the process outside the US. If its from a job- eh it wont be as big a deal that you lost GC from spouse.

There are ways to strengthen your ROC application. Gather as much evidence as you can. Write a quality statement and do well in the interview.

[helphope2016 0]

Firstly thank u v much for the great reply. I have mail that has been sent to that address but it's all personal mail and nothing jointly so I don't know if that will help. we have been married for 17 months and if I had got the GC earlier then I guess it would not have looked that bad. So if I understand correctly if I were to wait till just before my green card expires and apply then I would probably have another 15 to 24 months to exhaust all my options before I'm booted out. I know I'm venting but this is gross injustice for someone who has done everything legally in this country but I guess no point crying about it now. 3 months looks very shady and with just 3 pieces of hard evidence I don't think I really stand a chance. Honestly speaking what do u think my chances are? You can b harsh but real please..

Appreciate your help again.

[helphope2016 0]

Also I think this divorce won't be nasty as we will prolly go with irreconcilable differences.. Do u think that helps? And I guess there's no chance of me going back to my h1 b now? I know that's a dumb question but I'm just paranoid right now

[Darnell 8,479]

Damara, back in post #5, covered what to do and the different scenarios.

I can understand that learning new stuff is difficult when/if yer emotionally spent, so

I suggest you reread post #5 when you are calm,

or reread post #5 with pen and paper in hand, making copious notes, making if/then/else constructs on the paper.

[Villanelle 4,122]

The grounds for divorce wont matter as long as it is not 'fraud' or any variation of fraud like misrepresentation or deceit. Divorce is typically under fault or no fault grounds. No fault includes things like irreconcilable differences- this is what most people use. Fault includes adultery, fraud, abuse, desertion. A finding of fraud will make it impossible to ROC. The other grounds in fault dont make it impossible (except bigamy) but they would work against you. For example desertion. Abandoning your spouse soon after getting status leads to suspicion. Adultery during the marriage can cast doubts on how legitimate it was and if you remained solely for the benefits. The good news is each case is evaluated on its own merits.

You have been married for 17 months. Thats a very long time. Surely you have more evidence you can dig up. You may have to be creative. Evidence for ROC can be categorized as financial, personal or general. Financial includes taxes, joint accounts, insurance, debts and obligations and assets. Look for things you have like joint purchases or where you used your credit card to pay for something for the other person like a bill or personal items. Or where their income was deposited into the joint account and used to cover joint items or items specifically benefiting you.

Personal items are well just that- personal. Pictures with detailed explanations. You may have supporting financial evidence like for example many people photograph the opening of Christmas presents. If you gave your wife jewelry there may be a picture and or a receipt. If you took any trips together there will be a paper trail. It doesnt have to be a big cross country trip- a local museum or dinner and a show. Personal also includes things like cards, letters, text messages, emails between the two people. Anything that shows you had an intimate relationship.

General is going to be anything else you may have. Proof of same address like misc mail. Affidavits can be useful if you are lacking a rounded packet. There are probably more people then you realize that can help you with this. Sometimes the ex spouse writes one detailing the relationship and the breakdown and stresses it was all bonafide and didnt work out through no ones fault. Keep in mind if you submit a 3rd party affidavit they have the right to contact that person to verify the contents. There may be a particular restaurant or diner you guys frequented together where you know the staff is familiar with ya'll. They could provide a statement that they know of you two as a couple who dines there often. You would probably also have financial proof of this. If you or your spouse consistently accompanied the other to a Dr or dentist the same would apply. An employer or co-worker familiar with the two of you. A neighbor. There are countless people out there that could potentially testify to knowledge of the relationship.

A well written statement from you will help. Imagine you are a lawyer presenting a case to a Judge or jury. Use a simple outline in chronological order referencing evidence that is included. Address any concerns they may have when evaluating. Point out you had valid status when you married and were or wouldve been able to adjust with it if you didnt change paths.

If youre asking what are your realistic chances- well I really dont know. Like I said its a case by case basis. If all you send in is the list from above along with the divorce your odds are pretty low. If you include a personal statement and a variety of additional evidence its going to increase. How high it increases will depend on what you are able to add to it and how you do in the interview.

The interview happening is not a given. If you have a strong packet you can be approved with out one. More then likely you will get one due to the timeframe. An interview would be helpful because they will be able to see you are sincere and you can address any concerns directly.

The timeframe you laid out above is pretty accurate.Its using conservative estimates but any major changes or shifting in processing in the future can alter it. For another H-B like I said, you currently have a conditional card. You need to either successfully remove conditions and get the 10yr card (which then you wouldnt need a HB) OR get denied/surrender current card. You can surrender your card at any time. In either case you would be 'status-less' and able to qualify for another HB. You would have to go through the process back in your country.

As for this all being a 'gross injustice'- Eh. You should have been aware when you switched paths what you were switching to. Ignorance is not the same as injustice. You mustve known you were going to get a conditional card and have to go through the process of ROC in 2 years where they evaluate your marriage again. They fairly offer a divorce waiver tic box knowing sometimes marriages dont work out but can still be legitimate. They evaluate all marriages going through ROC the same way. Did you get dealt a lousy hand? Sure. It happens. Its not fair but life isnt fair. No one ever said it was. You have the ability to file with a waiver and submit evidence to over come any suspicions or doubts they may have. Accept that what happened has happened and focus your energy on the future.

[helphope2016 0]

Wow again I'm so appreciative of your insightful response. I really thank you for taking time out. I have had a night to calmly think and have decided to file for the ROC as soon as the divorce is done. I got into the marriage with the right intentions and spent every single dollar I had on this relationship and I feel like I have nothing to hide. I have a lot of pictures on occasions and hotel reservations and flight reservations which I could use. Ofcourse they all correspond with my ccard statements. Also I don't know if this helps my case was delayed for an extended background check so I got the local congressman help in checking my status from the Uscis and he and the state governor sent us congratulatory letters with the state stamp on our wedding and a US flag that was flown in top of the state building in our honor ( my father in law is a big deal) but I don't know if that helps. I have every message in our relationship saved from day 1 so i could definitely use that but we've has some nasty conversations too so I don't know if I would have to disclose them too. But all in all i think those should be enough documents and with an attorneys help I hope I can skip thru. Thank you for the moving on advice, I would definitely do that and no point in self pity or being vengeful towards her.

[Villanelle 4,122]

Do you have any idea why the background check took so long to begin with? Was it because of where you are from? A name issue (where your name matched someone elses and they had to sort it out), Do you work in a special field that would have caused attention to be given to you? I ask because if you do know you can address that in your response as well. Point out the significant length of the marriage and when you initially filed and quote their processing times (found on the USCIS site) explaining that if you were processed under them the card wouldve been issued around X date instead of Y date and why it took so long. Say something like I hope the delay in the card getting issued in relation to the separation does not impact the overall view of the petition as the marriage was 17 months plus X amount of time prior to.

When you went to the congressman did both you and your spouse attend? They could also be a source for an affidavit explaining you both sought out assistance in the delay and are legitimate. If you have proof of the flag flying include it. Even if you dont you can still mention it as its part of your story. I would only suggest being careful in how you word things in regards to FIL being a big deal. You dont want to sound arrogant or seem like you are asking for preferential treatment as their is none.

People that are usually a 'big deal' tend to make everything they do or their family does seem important. Was there wedding announcements? Engagement notices in the papers? Was the wedding a 'big deal'? Showing the parents/governor/congressman supported and believed it to be a real relationship can help.

As for the content of personal messages- well the guidelines refer to bonafide. That doesnt necessarily mean 'happy'. Showing a cross section of correspondence is your best bet. Obviously you are not going to submit and probably dont have anything that is damaging like your spouse accusing you of entering the marriage for the card. But evidence of a valid relationship having problems due to communication or differences of opinion can help you show just that. Keep in mind though that similar to the affidavits anything you submit can be verified (in the case of emails or texts where 2 people participate they can ask the other person about it). They usually dont. Im not trying to scare you- just giving all the facts. They also weigh all evidence accordingly. Meaning they take into account the source and the motivation. So even if something negative is said by your spouse or family its not going to be a nail in the coffin so to speak.

In regards to an attny- some people choose to prepare the ROC packet themselves and wait to see if the get an RFE or interview before hiring one. This is usually because of finances. If you can afford to hire one at the beginning and choose to- depending on the attny they can be extremely helpful or just helpful. The burden of collecting items for evidence is on YOU. They will simply help prepare it and review your statement. They may even offer additional ideas for evidence based on what they know about you- but honestly everything and anything that can be submitted is already mentioned somewhere on VJ.

Anyway- best of luck to you. I hope you update the thread or start a new one with your progress as it happens. Your experience can help others in the same situation in the future.

[helphope2016 0]

Well I think having a lawyer will probably just help me sleep better, the finances are tough but I should be able to manage it. I think it was both a name or a background issue but it was something that was extremely frustrating for me. I have bee. Issued f1 and h1 visas and got them both stamped, h1 twice actually so I really don't know why it took so long but trust me it was an extemely stressful wait for me as it weighed on the relationship.

As far as the congressman is Concerned he was a friend of the father in law and his office which helps many immigrants out helped me out too. I did all of the correspondence with the office but as the petition was filed with the wife the request did have the wife's signature.

I will ask the wife to file last years together but I think it's a lost cause as shes really not interested in my immigration anymore.

I will definitely keep everyone on this forum updated.