Smoking Hubby

[Kaitie64 0]

I quit smoking 13 years ago when I was 29. It was the best thing I've ever done for myself but also the hardest. I had tried a couple of methods before I was successful. Cold turkey and the gum didn't do it for me. The patch was what worked. I threw out all my extra "just in case I couldn't do it" cigarettes, my ash tray and lighter which I hadn't done in the past. That was key because a few days into it if there had been a cigarette in the house I would of smoked it lol. He will have to do it for himself. I wish him luck, it's so worth it.

[ktun 0]

My husband smokes too and like you I really hate it. I wish he would stop, not just because of the smell, but because of his health.

He is considerate in that he does not smoke around me too much (apart from the car) and does not smoke in the house.....but still.

I dont say anything to him about it really, I know that he has to be the one to decide to quit.

He does say though that if I ever get pregnant then he'll try really hard to quit then. I guess he's just not in the place right now where he can quit. Too much stress with the visa stuff.

Kate

[Jaylen Brit 0]

Yeah if you're a non-smoker you can always smell it on others - it gets in the hair, the clothing, the skin.. even after washing you can still smell it.

I smoke - I wish I didn't, but right now the whole stress deal means I have to have my crutch or I'd just go nuts. Im lucky in that I have a naturally low BP (Im usually 90/60 or 100/70 if Im feeling a bit stressed), but I know the risks from smoking aren't small.

My SO doesn't, and has never smoked, and he does want me to quit but I don't think I'm YET at the place where my willpower and desire to stop is high enough. I also don't want to pile on weight cos my body reacts very badly to weight gain (all my joints end up hurting to the point I need pain killers, cos Im built for speed not comfort )

Im hoping it will easier to give up once I've moved to the US - fingers x'd!

[LenJayUS 0]

*Feels like a stalker lol*

as the non-smoker of the relationship... I know how you feel. Luckily for the most part, during Jay's visits to me, the effects have been very limited. She's almost ####### about her dental hygenie... I think that's because of the smoking mostly... so I've never had the "pleasure" of kissing an ### tray.

And I can't remember her ever really asking me if she could smoke in my jeep.. I think I let her a few times in my old one though. I gotta fill up alot if we make trips, so gives her plenty of chances to smoke out side of it :-)

The worst part of it for me... granted she's only been here to visit me on 2 week trips... is the smell that she can't really get rid of. What smoker doesn't want to have one before bed? I don't blame her for that. Yeah, she might be able to jump in bed with me.. have our bit of fun.. then go out and smoke (after getting dressed most likely lol), go brush her teeth again, mouth wash.. jump in the shower... back to bed.. and then I could hold her and not smell it in her hair... but damn.. that's very, very... well, that's alot to ask or expect... and besides.. I have a feeling her jumping back into bed all nice and wet from a shower would bring us back to the having fun part :-D.

Holding her in bed, and smelling it on her hair, sucks.. I admit it. I'm not bitching about it though. I love her... for better or worse.. and I do the best that I can to deal with it. But there are some times that it takes alot for it to not turn me off. That's really all I smell it on her or around her.. maybe once in awhile if we are taking a drive and she smokes when we stop some where's... but it's not strong or over bearing... like having her hair in my face...

I guess she could shave her head... but I like pulling her hair on occassion :-D

I don't want to force her to quit - I sorta went through that with my first marriage and it wasn't pleasant. From above, you can see I'm dealing pretty well with it when it comes to how it effects ME. The reasons I do wish she would quit though concern her and the little one's... Being a good Role Model for the kids for one... what smoker really wants their kids to grow up and smoke? For her own health (and I'll be the first to admit, she wants me to eat healthy (notice the healthy.. not healthier lol) and lose some weight for the same reason). This visa process is a PITA... I'd like to keep her around a bit longer thank ya very much lol. But with that said, there's no gurantee that smoking will cut years off of your life... there's so many different things out there that could kill you...

I also had to watch my mom wither away and die from cancer (not lung cancer). I helped take care of her when she couldn't do it. For that reason alone.. what I went through with my mom, I wouldn't want my kids to go through that with me. And I'd rather our kids didn't need to go through that with her either.

But I have faith in her. She seems to want to kick the habit... to take control of her life back from the death sticks. She doesn't smoke nearly as much as she normally does when she comes to visit... so I know she has will power. When she's ready, I'll be there to help her the best I can.

[bettenan 1]

I really want my hubby to quit smoking.... our car reaks of smoke and always as ash all over the dash etc... I usually get a headache when I am in the car ......and he always comes home smelling like smoke..... he doesn't smoke in the house, thank goodness....

Anywho, hubby says the only way he will quit smoking is if starts chewing that Nicorette Gum... I was just wondering if it actually works and what does it taste like etc....

My hubby arrived as a smoker too. Didn't smoke in the house or car (I have asthma). He quit once using the gum stuff, after the Dr told him to. It worked for a while and then he was smoking again. My girlfriend told me about some herbal stuff that doesn't put any nicotine back in the body. From the day of our wedding which was 12-31-04 forward he has not had on cigarette . I won't tell you it wasn't a rough couple of weeks....cranky, headache etc. but it's been worth it (say he). We bought the herbal stop smoking kit at Walgreen...it was some herbal pills and a spray and maybe something else.

Good luck !!!!!

[Garfield fan 0]

It's difficult to make people quit if they themselves don't really want to. I work in a place where they offer smoking cessation program, so I know a bit about quitting tobacco. Gums or patches basically work by replacing the nicotine level in the person's blood, the amount that they need also depends on how many they smoke everyday. After a while they will need to taper off down to nothing (that's why there is "step 1" and "step 2" of nicotine patches).

My hubby doesn't smoke, but he chews once in a while. He only does that at work, I guess his friends there kind of influence him to some extent to get into this bad habit. I told him he had to quit or I would take his bank cards and just give him allowances, so he could choose: buying tobacco or foods/drinks for work...

[pax 0]

realistically, the only way he will quit is when he wants to quit for himself. if he quits now because you want him to, he will resent it and eventually go back to smoking. i am sure he is well aware of the future health risks involved if he continues to smoke ... that's his choice.

That's SO true. Unfortunately my dad has smoked for many years, although when research came out in the '80s about how harmful secondhand smoke is for children, he never smoked in the house again. But you can't pressure him; even my grandmother, who's a nurse and former hospital administrator, has admitted that.

Ewen quit smoking (and went cold turkey to do it, God love him) and I'm glad that he did, but he did it precisely because he knew he was ready to do it. And that's when your husband will, too. And good luck to him.

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

realistically, the only way he will quit is when he wants to quit for himself.

Only those that truly put their mind to it will succeed.

No patch, gum, hypnosis or prescription will do the trick if one does not absolutely WANT to quit.

[munchkins 0]

Quote

realistically, the only way he will quit is when he wants to quit for himself. if he quits now because you want him to, he will resent it and eventually go back to smoking. i am sure he is well aware of the future health risks involved if he continues to smoke ... that's his choice.

That I agree with, I tried to stop so many times for so many reasons but always started again, until I found out I was going to be a Nan (grandmother) and I reasoned that if I did not stop (I was coughing a lot, )I would not live to see much of my grandchild and future ones.

In all honesty and because this time I REALLY wanted to, I found it reasonably easy , no pangs, no withdrawal symtoms.

I have been stopped nearly 15 years now and no way would I ever go back to it again. I am not saying it will be easy for everyone, but it can be done. Good luck to all who are giving it a go

[almaty 19]

realistically, the only way he will quit is when he wants to quit for himself.

Only those that truly put their mind to it will succeed.

No patch, gum, hypnosis or prescription will do the trick if one does not absolutely WANT to quit.

so true, reinhard about any addiction

[Kajikit 65]

I tried everything and finally stopped when going on Wellbutrin. I also wanted to quit and had my mind set to it also. I gained weight also so which is healthier....my extra weight or my smoking?

A bit of extra weight doesn't cause lung cancer... or poison passer-byers. I'd take the weight any day (I HATE cigarette smoke)

[Cdnwmn 0]

Hubby here has been smoking for 27 years now and says he will quit but has to do it on his own. He stopped smoking when he first came to meet me face to face in Canada. Didn't smoke the whole time that he was in Canada. He also hadn't smoked when my son and I came to see him for a week and as well when I came to see him for a week on my own. As soon as we were gone though, it was back to smoking and even after we immigrated he never stopped smoking. One thing he will not do though is smoke in the house or in the vehicles. He did that however when he lived on his own before we came here to live.

He says he's tried the gum, tried the patch to no avail. He knows it's something that he's got to want to do. I remember my own father telling me that one thing you don't do is nag them to stop, it doesn't work; he's got to do it on his own.

I thought by him and his brother (also a smoker) observing what their own father is going through (oxygen 24/7) that would have scared them but nope. Their father smoked for many many years and then stopped in the summer of 2002, never went back but the damage had been done. I guess my husband and his brother feel it won't happen to them.

So here I still wait almost 4 years later.

Good luck.

[Sinergy 3]

Basic line, dont try to force someone to quit a habit THEY themselves are not ready to quit. It causes tention and anger. When they want to quit seriously they will. As I am sure all the husbands/wives/fiances stated to their USC's they smoked, so its not a big surprise they are still doing it. Just wait til he wants to stop.

I am the smoker in my relationship, and when my fiance complained about it constantly a year ago, i reminded him he knew this 5 years ago when we met, and he fell inlove with me anyway, and I will quit when im ready.

So will your husband. And he wont tell you when, he will just do it.

[Marilyn. 340]

ok, I am not trying to force my hubby to quit.... he does want to quit .... he brought up the gum thing and I all I wanted to know is if it actually worked and what it tasted like

[Sinergy 3]

Ok well my dad tried it, ive only tried the patch, and literally ended up in the hospital because of it. My dad said the gum did not work on him at all. He said it tastes like regular mint gum, but that it does nothing but keep your mouth busy for a little while until you get tired of the chewing and light up. He can try it, but its expensive and may or may not work.