Getting divorce and I don't know what to do

[Transborderwife 4,666]

I'm not 100% if this applies in Florida (would be strange if it was different though) but as you two are married he can't throw you out of your home. Even if you're name is not on the house/apartment you're married and he can't kick you out as it's now your home too. You don't have to leave until you're divorced. I completely understand that it will take a few days for you and your son to leave.

Is there a shelter you can go to if you and your son does not feel safe with him?

Florida is an equitable distribution state: http://www.leg.state.fl.us/Statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&URL=0000-0099/0061/Sections/0061.075.html

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Go to a woman's shelter, some know where to get help from a pro bono attorney. Just be safe.

[Romet 28]

First and foremost make sure you and your son are safe. I know it can be quite overwhelming right now, but there are places that can help if you have access to the internet.

I'm really sorry about all of this for you. Good vibes and prayers being sent your way.

[Villanelle 4,122]

Yes we have a prenup I don't get anything from him except plane ticketsand I agreed to that so I am not looking for money because my relationship was truthful and my feelings for him were real but I don't want to be threatened that I won't have food for me and my son or to be kicked out of his house because I have been faithful to him since day one

I don't deserve to be treated like garbage

I understand people ask me to just leave but it's gonna take me few days to prepare myself and my son

I just came here to this forum because he threatened me and I just wanted to know if he could the things he said he would do before I leave that's all

Feels to me that the OP knows she needs to go back to her home country and I don't think she cares if she gets anything out of the divorce. WHAT SHE DOES want to know is what rights she has as the wife of an American regarding him treating her like garbage not providing food etc for her and her son before she leaves the country.

Eh- Its probably not what you want to hear but I dont know of any law in FL or anywhere else that requires one spouse to provide for the other- things like food or daily expenses. So yes- he can cut off the money.

This doesnt mean there is nothing you can do about it though. You would have to file for divorce and ask for temporary support. You can read here for more details-

http://family-law.la...support-me.html

This solution is not quick and its not a guarantee you will get any money. If there is an order created the state will attempt to enforce it- however sleazy people use attnys to drag things out, hide assets or in some cases stop working so there is no money to collect and give to the other.

This is also a more 'long term' solution (if you are going to stay during the divorce). For immediate help you can go to a food bank or call 211 for a list of local places. 211 is like 411 (information) except they only have listings for social services. You can talk to them and explain your situation and they should be able to direct you to some immediate help. However if you are getting a plane ticket in the next few days- well I dont know. Is there absolutely no food in the home? Im not trying to be insensitive but rather looking at it from a practical standpoint.

If there is no food and he will not provide any- seek assistance. If you are just looking for a general 'what are my rights?' information- the answer is above. There is no laws dictating the head of household needs to provide for you except/unless you get a court order.

As for the housing situation- Maria already advised you. He can not make you leave. He can make it unpleasant (again not against the law unless its abuse)

[Cathi 5,784]

She has not confirmed whether they filed for AOS. She has only confirmed that she has not received a Green Card.

actually, yes she has

Clarify this for me.

SO the I-864 presented to the consulate during interview is not enforceable?

there is no I-864 for a K-1 visa.

[Cathi 5,784]

Eh- Its probably not what you want to hear but I dont know of any law in FL or anywhere else that requires one spouse to provide for the other- things like food or daily expenses. So yes- he can cut off the money.

This doesnt mean there is nothing you can do about it though. You would have to file for divorce and ask for temporary support. You can read here for more details-

http://family-law.la...support-me.html

This solution is not quick and its not a guarantee you will get any money. If there is an order created the state will attempt to enforce it- however sleazy people use attnys to drag things out, hide assets or in some cases stop working so there is no money to collect and give to the other.

This is also a more 'long term' solution (if you are going to stay during the divorce). For immediate help you can go to a food bank or call 211 for a list of local places. 211 is like 411 (information) except they only have listings for social services. You can talk to them and explain your situation and they should be able to direct you to some immediate help. However if you are getting a plane ticket in the next few days- well I dont know. Is there absolutely no food in the home? Im not trying to be insensitive but rather looking at it from a practical standpoint.

If there is no food and he will not provide any- seek assistance. If you are just looking for a general 'what are my rights?' information- the answer is above. There is no laws dictating the head of household needs to provide for you except/unless you get a court order.

As for the housing situation- Maria already advised you. He can not make you leave. He can make it unpleasant (again not against the law unless its abuse)

OP has already stated she is going home.

[nane1104 146]

OP, since you have a prenup and know that you are returning home, I'd advise you to talk to your husband and spend the remainder of your time in the US as peaceful as possible.

I'd ask for planetickts home within a week and for some groceries to get you through that time. Nothing else. That should be reasonable for him.

Good luck to you and your son, your husband sounds mean and you will be better off without him.

[Villanelle 4,122]

Yeah I know, which is what makes the situation that much more mmm I dont know what the right word is---complex? Most people dont realize getting aid is not very simple. Food banks can be open for limited amounts of time each week. Anything you have to apply for usually takes at least 1-3 days to get a decision back. In some cases/places you can get instant approval but not everywhere. Plus its the holiday season. In some ways thats a positive because there is likely to be more going on but its also negative as its busier so places might exceed their availability limits.

Thats why I inquired if they were in dire need of food or shelter or could simply make due until their flight in a few days.

[deleted this acco 44]

The OP has a home and a family she doesn't need to stay here in a shelter. She wants to go home. Also she has not stated that she is being starved. her husband has threatened to withhold food but I don't think he has already done so. She knew him for three years and proceeded to come over knowing him that he was not faithful.

[QueenComley 295]

Use the internet to your advantage. Getting an attorney is not cheap. If i remember you said you don't have food for you and your son but you can afford an attorney? SHE SAID SHE CANT AFFORD AN ATTORNEY

Save the little money you have for your ticket back home. You can deal with the divorce from there or you could let him deal with it.

Unless you are trying to get something out of this.

[Unidentified 2,930]

The OP has a home and a family she doesn't need to stay here in a shelter. She wants to go home. Also she has not stated that she is being starved. her husband has threatened to withhold food but I don't think he has already done so. She knew him for three years and proceeded to come over knowing him that he was not faithful.

Please read OP's post again. She found out yesterday that he was unfaithful. Not before she came here.

[Expat1 971]

Just because a spouse is from overseas they don't get treated like dirt and shipped home like a rejected package. Florida is tough on husbands who want to act like jerks.

In Florida, a wife, until final divorce, is entitled at a minimum to temporary alimony until the divorce is settled. The legal requirement is that the jerkoff has to provide her enough support to maintain her standard of living, not just basic necessities. That means a place to stay, food, utilities, just as if she was living in his house. A cool bonus is If she can't afford an attorney, he gets stuck with her legal fees to boot.

Temporary alimony has nothing to do with a prenup. On this case? Even a bad lawyer would have a field day with this guy because she can't work leaving her fully dependent on her husband.

http://www.usattorneylegalservices.com/free-legal-aid-Florida.html

OP needs to locate and ask for an attorney to help her file. She should not allow herself to be dumped on a plane and shipped home leaving her married with no good way to divorce, finalize things, and move on. The dude owes her a divorce and until its finalized she's entitled to more than just basis necessities while she's waiting for it.

One cool case out of probably millions, where a husband appealed and lost -

When a Florida court considers whether to grant temporary alimony, it balances the needs of the requesting spouse against the other spouse’s ability to pay. Fonderson v. Lairap, 98 So. 3d 715, 717 (Fla. 2d DCA 2012), citing de Gutierrez v. Gutierrrez, 19 So.3d 1110 (Fla. 2d DCA 2009). In weighing the needs of the requesting spouse, the court also considers the parties’ standard of living. Id. Trial courts have broad discretion in deciding whether to award temporary alimony. Gutierrez, 19 So.3d at 1112-13. Even so, such decisions must be supported by competent, substantial evidence. Id., citing Driscoll v. Driscoll, 915 So.2d 771, 773 (Fla. 2d DCA 2005).

In Fonderson, the husband in a divorce proceeding appealed an order granting his former wife temporary alimony. On appeal, Florida’s Second District Court of Appeal held that the trial court did not abuse its discretion in granting the former wife alimony. The trial court found that the husband and his witness were not credible when describing the husband’s financial state. Fonderson, 98 So.3d at 718. The lower court noted that the husband had the ability to meet his obligations and that certain expenses he incurred were unnecessary. Id., citing Tomaszewski v. Tomaszewski, 793 So.2d 1156, 1158 (Fla. 4th DCA 2001)(finding that a negative cash flow, not being otherwise explained, reasonably supports an inference that a party’s earnings are greater than the party represents them to be); see also, Ugarte v. Ugarte, 608 So.2d 838 (Fla. 3d DCA 1992)(recognizing that a spouse’s ability to maintain a standard of living at a certain financial level is probative evidence of the spouse’s income).

The husband in Fonderson also argued that his former wife was highly educated and therefore capable of contributing to her support. However, the wife testified that she tried unsuccessfully to seek employment and the husband presented no evidence to contradict her testimony. Id. at 718. Finally, regarding the wife’s standard of living, the husband’s accountant testified that the wife needed only $1,617 per month after deducting what he described as “non-necessities” such as dry cleaning, maid service, clothing, gifts and vacations. Id. The trial court, however, rejected this evidence and instead found that the former wife “was entitled to keep some semblance of the standard of living to which she was accustomed during the marriage.” Id. Based on these findings, the appellate court affirmed the trial court’s award of temporary alimony to the wife.

Two points are worth mentioning regarding Fonderson. First, the court can consider evidence of the parties’ lifestyle in determining a spouse’s ability to pay alimony. Second, Fonderson reminds us that courts do not view temporary alimony merely as a way to provide for basic necessities. Instead, temporary alimony reflects a spouse’s right to maintain a standard of living comparable to the lifestyle that existed before commencement of the divorce proceeding.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

The OP has a home and a family she doesn't need to stay here in a shelter. She wants to go home. Also she has not stated that she is being starved. her husband has threatened to withhold food but I don't think he has already done so. She knew him for three years and proceeded to come over knowing him that he was not faithful.

You are wrong. She just found out, where do you get that story from that she knew he was unfaithful ?!

If he does not give her and the child food and threatens to screw her up and she has no money to care for the child in his "home" then yes

she does need to go to a shelter. No place for a child in that environment. Period.

[deleted this acco 44]

Sometimes people choose to turn a blind eye; I don't think he started cheating yesterday. Was that the first time she had been online. The fact that she checked on him tells me she suspected it. Anyway whatever path she chooses I still think home is a better choice.

[Unidentified 2,930]

Sometimes people choose to turn a blind eye; I don't think he started cheating yesterday. Was that the first time she had been online. The fact that she checked on him tells me she suspected it. Anyway whatever path she chooses I still think home is a better choice.

As we've said earlier: read the OP's original post. She IS going home. Please read before posting.