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Jo Amelia Finlay

Dealing with death of a loved one back home.

By Jo Amelia Finlay in Off Topic

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Jo Amelia Finlay Explorer

Jo Amelia Finlay   20

Posted
Filed: AOS (apr) Country: United Kingdom
 Timeline
Posted

I haven't been on here in a good while. Life is good for myself and my husband.

Although today I heard my aunt died this morning and I am feeling a little lost. I suppose I just want to speak to others who might understand the very sad and very bizarre feeling of getting such news when you live thousands of miles away from your relatives.

She was ill, we knew it was coming. But she was a HUGE part of my growing up and I feel this hole in my heart today knowing she isn't alive any more.

Any advice or empathy welcomed :(

AOS // 12 months 3 days
April 13, 2014 NOA1 - April 16, 2015 Approved

April 27, 2015 Greencard received

K-1 // 8 months
Feb 22, 2013 NOA1 - Oct 23, 2013 London Interview
March 18, 2014 Married

TBoneTX Grand Master

TBoneTX   45,850

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
 Timeline
Posted

Mrs. T-B. also lost her aunt rather recently.

The aunt was also ill.

Mrs. T-B. misses her acutely but recognizes that her death was a release.

I remember what a buddy said to me as we discussed the death of his father:

"Yes, I miss him every minute, but I wouldn't have wished one more second of suffering on him."

May you be comforted among all who mourn.

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

Unidentified Mentor

Unidentified   2,930

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Sweden
 Timeline
Posted

Being very far away when someone passes is very hard. During my four years here I have lost my mothers parents (my grandparents) and quite recently my father. I tried to fly home before my father passed away but I was too late. It's hard and it will be a struggle for some time.

I can imagine you probably feel you should have been there but I'm sure she felt you were there in spirit. Illnesses are hard and at least now she has found peace.





  • 2 weeks later...
NikLR Grand Master

NikLR   13,231

Posted
Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: Canada
 Timeline
Posted

It's okay to mourn. Decide if you want to attend the funeral or not (if there is one.) Speak to your other family as well to share fond memories.

I know how you feel and anytime someone who was important to you passes away, especially when you aren't around, can leave you feeling adrift. I can't say the feeling ever really goes away but remembering the happy times with that person certainly helps.

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.  - Dr. Seuss

 

 

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