Separated 4 months after Marriage. Well that was fun

[Ted & Janine 31]

yes very true. Don't marry someone you meet on vacation. remember these people spend their lives observing American culture. They take advantage of a situation. There are far and few here who actually make it. TLC has 90 day visa, they should do a post show Removing Conditions and see how many made it past the two years. Many of these people come with an agenda and use emotional warfare to #### you over.

You might see an episode like that on 90 Day Fiance' with Mark and Nikki.

Laziest person you ever met worked 70 hours weeks? Interesting....

Sounds like your wife might be depressed and has a hard time adjusting.

Not trying to do a comparison with Mark and Nikki. Despite the other things that seem obvious... I have similar thoughts as Maria2012. There are 2 sides to every coin and we only have one.

You have to do what works best for you and never look back.

Best of luck to you

[IcezMan_IcezLady 582]

I have mixed feelings on your whole rant.

OP might be a good guy but looks like you picked a lady who might be out of your league and I doubt you never supported her spending habit. America is over glamorized and so most people until the upsurge of twitter and Facebook that allows foreigners to have some realistic view of America and Americans, lots of foreigners see America as heaven on earth, land of honey and milk.

There are ladies like your wife everywhere. There are women who are very high maintenance and don't make a mistake and let their location, economic status or job status fool you.

Looks like you picked a lady who would not have married you if you were a local DR guy. She is inconsiderate, wants the expensive things and wants everyone to cater to her. I am not surprised she doesn't wanna live here especially if she has to work.

The typical immigrants I know, will do the currency conversions every time the USC is making a purchase, and usually tries to talk you out of making "expensive" purchases.

There's nothing you can do to change her or to help her change. She will keep complaining because she is a spoiled woman and she feels entitled to everything that will make her comfortable..

It is unfortunate but that's the reality. make the right decision.... You can't make someone wanna be with you.

Good luck, buddy.

[sia82 10]

I think the problem is that many people go through all this k-1, marriage process without even knowing where they are going to live. I'm from europe and my husband is from western Massachusetts (so pretty much like Vermont). I can say many people wouldn't want/like to live in this type of environment. Very isolated, super cold for many months, long hours of drive to go anywhere, long hours to commute to work (unless wanting to work in a grocery store for minimum wage), it's definitely not easy and not for many people.. she was probably dreaming the america she saw on tv and then realized that the reality is very very different.

[ehklei19 18]

I tried the DR many years ago. I found the ladies were generally very transactional in their relationships. Unless you want a marriage where you must continually "buy" your wife I would recommend staying away. After much consideration I wound up in the Philippines and am very happy with my wife. Yes, she likes to shop, but does bargain hunt. She is not lazy in any way and contributes plenty around the house. Plus she can cook really well.

Once you recover from your current situation take a trip over there and see if you like it. I think you will.

Best of luck to you.

[vermont77 12]

She apparently has a trove of evidence against me and has been wire tapping me with her cell phone since day 1. She said she has recorded every argument we ever had. Today we talked about her returning to her country. I think this is the best choice and then I will proceed with cancelling this whole process out. Last week I was sending money to the Dominican Rep. for stupid stuff like: remote stopped working for the apartment gate that I never used in my entire life. Her credit card company charged her a late payment fee even tho I sent the payment in way earlier than it was due. Her cousin gave her some money, he didn't loan it to her. I asked him if I should pay him back and he said "don't worry about it bro, it's my gift to you guys"...well what do you know a month later I am sending him a few hundred dollars. It actually wasn't sent to him in NYC. It was sent to her aunt in the DR. I didn't ask him about this but I should. Her whole family thinks she is this innocent goody 2 shoes catholic girl. I should of saw the writing on the wall. My 1st trip to the DR was just an amazing time. The 2nd trip, I noticed the romance going downhill and she wasn't like she was the 1st trip. I went for a 3rd time, we argued everyday about stupid #######. The 4th trip was for the embassy interview in Santa Domingo. We actually argued so much in the luxury hotel room I purchased the night before we almost agreed on calling the whole thing off, but I didn't. I am college educated, own a small business, I know a scam when I see one. I was homeless on the streets for 2 years. I know scams. I know con-artists. I have taken every scenario we have had and dissected it. The red flags are insane. She told me she loved me after speaking for a week on whatsapp. I started paying for an apartment after the 1st week of meeting her. Apparently she was being kicked out of her aunts house and she was going to be homeless. Well I visited her nice little aunt. It turns out, her aunt never wanted her to leave because her aunt is old and sick, and she was taking care of her. She wanted her own apartment because she couldn't sleep with all the motorcycles driving by all hours of the night.

[vermont77 12]

I think the problem is that many people go through all this k-1, marriage process without even knowing where they are going to live. I'm from europe and my husband is from western Massachusetts (so pretty much like Vermont). I can say many people wouldn't want/like to live in this type of environment. Very isolated, super cold for many months, long hours of drive to go anywhere, long hours to commute to work (unless wanting to work in a grocery store for minimum wage), it's definitely not easy and not for many people.. she was probably dreaming the america she saw on tv and then realized that the reality is very very different.

I told her where I lived. I sent her photos of my house, the yard, sent her video tours of the town I live in. I live in the country but only 10 minutes from a college town. She is from the 3rd largest city in the DR. I live in the country. I love the country. I like dirt roads and less people. She likes big cities. She visited her sister in Manhattan and fell in love with it. Here, there are maybe 2 Dominicans. I am sorry, But I did not mislead her. I told her straight up...I live in the woods. There are no Dominicans here. You won't be speaking Spanish all day to people you see on the street. This is not washington heights Manhattan. This is Vermont. I was very clear with her and told her she should research it. She hates it here. She can't stand the weather and she has nobody to speak Spanish too. Trust me I am not insensitive. I bring her to Latin night as much as I can at a local night club. We have met Spanish speaking people here, but she isn't that friendly and people up here are kinda stubborn, so she isn't breaking through the ice meeting new friends here. I know it's hard coming from her country and trying to adapt here, but I have put in over 200% to have an easier transition.

[TBoneTX 45,329]

You've been taken big-time.

Your first priority -- meaning that you must drop everything and proceed this minute -- is to cancel the AOS process by withdrawing the I-864. Do this by following the thorough methods outlined elsewhere in this thread. Again, you must drop everything else and do this now.

[Cheezees 1,514]

You were played for a fool BUT quite willingly so. Now, you know what you have to do. Elaborating on the situation will not garner you any more sympathy points, especially when it is so obvious that you complied with everything she did/wanted. Do I have sympathy for you? Yes, but it is limited. Now that you know what to do, get thee away from her!

[tanzaniawinter 10]

You guys are adjusting to marriage and your in roller coaster she sleep long hours because of whether I was here in summer and I slept six hours but now it's winter I am freezing my eyes are shut like the bed is calling plus I don't have a job that's sucks , I am not lazy I am neat freak but sometimes with this cold I can't lift a finger to do my house cleaning , I love shopping all woman do just don't entertain it talk about it. Marriage is easy when you talk things .my English and culture is different I was shocked when my hubby say I offend him by things I say to him pls give me credit I don't speak English sometimes I don't understand even things I say in English but I am learning,

My husband teach me to say thank you to almost everything and people tell me thank you for things I thought was not need to say that , but hey I am learning and I am getting use to it now , I wish I could go back home in winter and come back in summer but this is my home now I will get use to it , plus I cover my self with Lots of cloth and stay near fire plus heater then I feel sick , but with all this and more we are adjusting with maturity and love , she is not a monster she is just need some teaching from you and talking , you will be suprize

[belinda63 3,038]

I agree with cancel the AOS NOW!. As in stop reading this and write the letter withdrawing the I-864 right now. Mail it today, at the post office, return receipt or at least tracking. Make an infopass appointment and submit the same notarized letter there. Are you still reading and not doing.......do now finish reading later.

She is milking you for all you have and when you have nothing left she will be gone. Really you paid for her apartment in another country, you are paying her credit card bills for her. She is taking you for a ride and laughing the whole way.

[Jo Së 200]

She apparently has a trove of evidence against me and has been wire tapping me with her cell phone since day 1. She said she has recorded every argument we ever had.

Man, you need to pull your I-864 and stop the AOS altogether, next file for a divorce and cut all communication with her. Don't let her threaten you with that whole recorded conversations stuff, unless you hit her or were really abusive there is nothing she can get you for.

Make sure you protect yourself, record phone calls and save texts and emails, specially if she wants to threaten you or blackmail you. Wish you luck

[Ilovemyman 147]

hello, friend, sorry to hear that, but you knew very well that she was a scam.

i told you a million of time that she is a scam, she only wanted go to USA, i advised you many times , you didnt listen, dont complain now.

you knew very well how she bouthg the expensive clothes, you knew very well that she was with diferents men to get money.

you knew all that, but you were blind and you didnt wanted listen me,

sorry for you.

now you complain here in the forum, but i am sure you will continue with this scammer,

when she was here you used complain about her, but you continued with the process anyway.

you knew that she is lazy and that she like expend money,

i am going to wait your next post here, saying that you are with her because you love her jijijijijijo

[Ilovemyman 147]

Man, you need to pull your I-864 and stop the AOS altogether, next file for a divorce and cut all communication with her. Don't let her threaten you with that whole recorded conversations stuff, unless you hit her or were really abusive there is nothing she can get you for.

Make sure you protect yourself, record phone calls and save texts and emails, specially if she wants to threaten you or blackmail you. Wish you luck

he wont stop AOS, he could stop her here in DR and he didnt do it.

he knew very well the kind of woman she is, but he didnt listen my advises and he was blind by her, soon you will read a post saying that he knows that she is using him but he is with her beacuse he loves her

[vermont77 12]

Alicia, yeah I know you are right but I was in looney love land in my head and wanted to believe it could work. Well folks, Alicia actually met my wife in Santiago with me. I met her on VisaJourney and she was nice enough to come meet us when I flew into Santiago my 2nd trip. Made some great friends on VISAJOURNEY. I talked with my wife today and it sounds like we won't be able to save our marriage, since she basically blames everything on me and takes no responsibility for her sketchy behavior. She has agreed to go back to the DR. So, what do I need to do next after she gets on the plane? File the papers to stop this process and then get a divorce?

[belinda63 3,038]

Re-read my post, pull the affidavit of support NOW. Just because she says she will leave, just because you take her to the airport, does not mean she will leave. She might just be stringing you along until she gets her green card.