American Women and Russian Men, an Oxymoron in the Making?

[Dashinka 24,654]

Very common with Russians too regardless gender. In Russia car is not only transportation but rather a status symbol so many Russians get way more expensive cars than they can reasonably afford. That's why in Russia you see a lot of luxury cars like Mercedes or BMW around - it doesn't mean everyone is rich, it means many people there trying to get the most expensive car they can pay for. Oh yeah, and size too - the bigger car is better car. I've noticed the same in the US about car size, so many people buy unnecessary huge SUV's and trucks with big engines even if they live in apartments within city and need it for commute to work/school only. I've noticed it's very different in Europe, when I was visiting many countries there as a tourist, I've seen huge amount of compact gas savers, especially in big cities.

- Victor from Russia

I work with many people from other countries and have been all over the world. It is amazing how the car market is different depending on where you are from or where you are at. For instance, some of my Korean colleagues are amazed at the size of the parking spaces here in Michigan, then they see the size of the cars and begin to understand. Aussies tend to like large rear wheel drive vehicles,and of course the small compact cars are popular in Europe and Brazil. A Chevrolet Equinox is considered a real big vehicle in many of those places, but here it is considered a compact vehicle. Edited January 29, 2016 by Bill & Katya

[TBoneTX 45,663]

I think marrying American women is different for all cultures!!

I love my yank wife, but sheesh she can scare me when annoyed

It can be the same after they become citizens. Some are not to be irked, displeased, or crossed in the slightest, such as the forgettable First Mrs. T-B.!

After Mrs. T-B. (this one, presumably the final) was naturalized, I wrote this haiku:

Ciudadana:

Quite able to nag husband!

A gringa always.

Ciudadana = female (American) citizen

Gringa = foreign female, typically used by Mexicans/Central/South Americans to refer to Americans

In fairness, Mrs. T-B. is rather mild-mannered, on an absolute scale and in terms of her siblings. Had I married her #2 or #3 sister, or even #4 sister, look out.

Edited January 30, 2016 by TBoneTX

[Dashinka 24,654]

It can be the same after they become citizens. Some are not to be irked, displeased, or crossed in the slightest, such as the forgettable First Mrs. T-B.!

After Mrs. T-B. (this one, presumably the final) was naturalized, I wrote this haiku:

Ciudadana:

Quite able to nag husband!

A gringa always.

Ciudadana = female (American) citizen

Gringa = foreign female, typically used by Mexicans/Central/South Americans to refer to Americans

In fairness, Mrs. T-B. is rather mild-mannered, on an absolute scale and in terms of her siblings. Had I married her #2 or #3 sister, or even #4 sister, look out.

Very creative! Bet you are glad you ended up with her rather than one of the other three!

[TBoneTX 45,663]

Actually, Mrs. T-B.-to-be was the only one of the 5 sisters available.

They're all lovely, in every way.

And I apparently remain the primero (#1 favorite) son-in-law.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled topic!

[ONA 133]

Very common with Russians too regardless gender. In Russia car is not only transportation but rather a status symbol so many Russians get way more expensive cars than they can reasonably afford. That's why in Russia you see a lot of luxury cars like Mercedes or BMW around - it doesn't mean everyone is rich, it means many people there trying to get the most expensive car they can pay for. Oh yeah, and size too - the bigger car is better car. I've noticed the same in the US about car size, so many people buy unnecessary huge SUV's and trucks with big engines even if they live in apartments within city and need it for commute to work/school only. I've noticed it's very different in Europe, when I was visiting many countries there as a tourist, I've seen huge amount of compact gas savers, especially in big cities.

- Victor from Russia

It may depend on where you live in the US.

In DC area a lot of people drive compact cars as well. I, myself, drive a compact car (I work in the city - a car like mine is easy to park in places where parking is very limited). A lot of people I know don't even have cars - they live near a Metro station, so they don't even need one. If they happen to need a car once in a while, they get a zipcar or a car2go.

[Dashinka 24,654]

It may depend on where you live in the US.

In DC area a lot of people drive compact cars as well. I, myself, drive a compact car (I work in the city - a car like mine is easy to park in places where parking is very limited). A lot of people I know don't even have cars - they live near a Metro station, so they don't even need one. If they happen to need a car once in a while, they get a zipcar or a car2go.

That is one of the biggest adjustments for Katya. She lived in a relatively large urban setting with no car as public transportation was all she needed. Coming here to a suburb of Detroit was a big shift, not being able to walk to the corner and get anywhere via a bus or tram. I feel she adjusted quite well as thankfully we had a few grocery stores within walking distance until she passed her drivers exam and got her license, and I feel she is a very good driver. A few days ago, I was very thankful she remembered one of her lessons I taught her. We were coming home from a store right after a snow storm, and as she neared the main road she stopped prior to the sidewalk which was covered with snow from the parking lot plowing. Just as she stopped a snowmobile shot past us on the sidewalk. If it had been me, he probably would have hit the side of the car.

[TBoneTX 45,663]

Bill's story is similar to mine. Before U.S. arrival, Mrs. T-B.-to-be questioned me closely about distances and walkability. One day soon after she came, she decided to walk to the nearest mall, about 3 miles away. Afterwards, she was quite receptive to the idea of getting a car.

Fortunately, she had driven some while in Ecu (albeit only in cars with manual transmissions). These years later, she drives me cuckoo with some of her driving idiosyncrasies, but she hasn't had any accidents that were her fault. As for me, if I had three wishes, one would be that we could drive in the U.S. as they drive in Guayaquil, Ecu (= like psychos)!

[DocTVCasting 0]

Any American women on here who haven't met their Russian fiancé/boyfriend in-person yet?

[Dashinka 24,654]

Bill's story is similar to mine. Before U.S. arrival, Mrs. T-B.-to-be questioned me closely about distances and walkability. One day soon after she came, she decided to walk to the nearest mall, about 3 miles away. Afterwards, she was quite receptive to the idea of getting a car.

Fortunately, she had driven some while in Ecu (albeit only in cars with manual transmissions). These years later, she drives me cuckoo with some of her driving idiosyncrasies, but she hasn't had any accidents that were her fault. As for me, if I had three wishes, one would be that we could drive in the U.S. as they drive in Guayaquil, Ecu (= like psychos)!

Drivers in Krasnoyarsk are crazy as well. That added to the fact that they don't seem to know how to paint lines on the road, and about half the cars are right hand drive even though they drive on the right side of the road. Edited February 4, 2016 by Bill & Katya

[ONA 133]

That is one of the biggest adjustments for Katya. She lived in a relatively large urban setting with no car as public transportation was all she needed. Coming here to a suburb of Detroit was a big shift, not being able to walk to the corner and get anywhere via a bus or tram. I feel she adjusted quite well as thankfully we had a few grocery stores within walking distance until she passed her drivers exam and got her license, and I feel she is a very good driver. A few days ago, I was very thankful she remembered one of her lessons I taught her. We were coming home from a store right after a snow storm, and as she neared the main road she stopped prior to the sidewalk which was covered with snow from the parking lot plowing. Just as she stopped a snowmobile shot past us on the sidewalk. If it had been me, he probably would have hit the side of the car.

I learned how to drive in Russia, but I definitely didn't have to drive nearly as much there, so it was an adjustment as well - here we live in a suburb I have to drive to a Metro station if I want to take a train to work. I put almost 90 000 miles on my car in four years - that's crazy.

[TBoneTX 45,663]

That's a LOT of miles purely for commuting. Wow.

[Dashinka 24,654]

Ok, here is another situation. Katya had to go back to Russia to take care of some business since she turned 55 and now is eligible for the Russian version of SS, and her and her sister have to figure out how to accommodate their mother. Of course this was a planned trip, and I knew she would be busy, so we decided I would stay home to take care of the dog and keep working (We are planning a trip to AZ later this year so I wanted to save my vacation time). Of course I talk to her daily on FaceTime and Viber and this past morning that included her family. During that time, I got the question I expected, "why didn't I come as well". Now we have many reasons for this, but how do you explain that to your new family. I really enjoy my Russian family, and actually would have enjoyed going this time, but I didn't want to cause Katya any issues as she is on a tight timetable. How do others deal with the "in laws" when you travel separately?

[TBoneTX 45,663]

The psychology of the respective cultures might differ, but in our similar case, Mrs. T-B. frankly explained the limitations of vacation time, finances, et al. in advance -- with the promise that I would try to go in the future -- and these were accepted by her family. Was your reasoning adequately and directly communicated ahead of time, and to all of the key relatives?

[Dashinka 24,654]

The psychology of the respective cultures might differ, but in our similar case, Mrs. T-B. frankly explained the limitations of vacation time, finances, et al. in advance -- with the promise that I would try to go in the future -- and these were accepted by her family. Was your reasoning adequately and directly communicated ahead of time, and to all of the key relatives?

Yeah, Katya explained all of this to her mother and sister prior to the trip, so it wasn't really that bad. We have talked about going there this Summer (who really wants to vacation in Siberia in the Winter), so hopefully we will be able to make that happen, but you are right, it is a different culture.

[TBoneTX 45,663]

I have no clue what the summertime weather in Siberia is like... = ?

Of note, when I finally forswore trying to date any more U.S. women, one area that I looked at was Siberia. I corresponded with the owner of an IMB who worked with Siberianettes. He was nicely frank about everything, and noted that Siberianettes tended to be more laid back, etc., than were women from the larger cities farther west.

I obviously opted for Latin America in the end, chiefly because of language-barrier concerns and travel time. I was extremely fortunate that flights to Ecu were under 5.5 hours (and nonstop or with one logical connection), versus how beastly long it must take to fly to Siberia. In addition, we were either in the same time zone or off by no more than an hour.

Edited February 8, 2016 by TBoneTX