Help... I am not sure what to do - Divorce

[livinlife000 0]

I am the petitioner for my wife. We started the immigration process almost 12 years ago and things keep falling thru the cracks.

Here is a litle history.

My wife is from Trinidad.

We have one son, a 11 year old.

Most of our marriage has been difficult, she will not help out in our small business but continues to complain we have no money.

Since January, I asked her to start helping in our small business to bring in more money.

I know that she is hiding money and charging things on her credit cards which I still continue to pay even though she will never

show me the monthly statements, etc.

She continues to undermind me with our son regarding disipline, responsibilty, etc.

My wife was raised in a very abusive family, her father had affairs, beat the children and never worked, for what ever reason

her Mom continues to stay with him and she has been the financial provider for their family.

This past May I found out that she has been on 2 different christian dating/singles sites, I do not believe she is having an affair at this time.

I recently served her with divorce papers, since she does not have her green card, I notified USCIC and withdrew my I-130.

She started to take our son to a therapist and I am afraid she is coaching our son on telling the therapist that I am abusive to her and my wife.

My wife also mentioned the therapist was going to report me to child protective services.

My attorney told me to get a video cam in my living room which I have done a few weeks ago. I have seen my wife slap my son in the face, slapped him in the shoulder and ankle. He was limping for a few days afterwards, I did not know why until I seen the videos.

One night before bed he told me that mom slapped me hard on the face so I confronted her about it the next day with my son, my wife looked at my

son and my son denied she actually did this even though she is now on video.

On the video I watched yesterday, she was talking to her divorce attorney. She told the divorce attorney that her immigration attorney was going

to file a I-360, this is a form to help non-documented individuals to stay in the country due to different reasons, the one reason that she was talking

about to the attorney was for abuse from the petitioner spouse.

In the past, she also claimed she was a US Citizen in order to purchase a time share, again without my knowledge.

I am not sure what to do. I do not want my name and credibilty associated with an abuse charge.

I live in Utah and I am not sure what consitutes child abuse, I do not know if yelling and screaming and slapping on the face, etc. is abuse or not.

I do not know if I should contact ICE, social services, etc.,

Thank you for any suggestions that you may have, I am so worried about my son.

B.

[Cheezees 1,514]

I don't have all the answers but I would have called the police the first time you had evidence that she was abusing your son. I would not wait to "collect" more video footage while the abuse is still on-going in hopes of having divorce judges or USCIS on your side.

Your child is being abused! You have video footage and his very own testimony. (You see how your wife works. Your son is so afraid of her that he recanted his story in her presence). Why are you not stopping the abuse immediately? Why are you biding your time knowing she is building a negative and false case against you? But more importantly, WHY ARE YOU NOT STOPPING THE ABUSE IMMEDIATELY?????

[jabumere 2]

Sorry to hear that you and your family are having such issues. You don't need to make this a difficult situation. What I mean by this is that the marriage is not and haven't been for a long time it seems a marriage built on love and trust. In order for your relationship to work both persons have to want it. Your wife has been so focused on her well being that she has forgotten how to be a good mother and wife. You need to keep the video as proof of how she has treated your son who needs to remain with you. If I were you I would allow for her to continue just the way that she has been and you prepare yourself for a divorce and a custody battle. As long as you have the video proof there is nothing she can do to you. You just be careful that she doesn't take your son and leave . You might need to get a little more footage of her abusing him, yes slapping and hitting on him the way she does is child abuse. You can get custody of your son. I pray that all goes well for you and your son. Be blessed.

[Cheezees 1,514]

You need to keep the video as proof of how she has treated your son who needs to remain with you. Yes!

If I were you I would allow for her to continue just the way that she has been and you prepare yourself for a divorce and a custody battle. NO NO NO!!! You never let more proven abuse of a child continue for "evidence".

OP, forget the divorce and forget her immigration status. Take care of your child NOW!

[SunflowerSweet 1,321]

I'm a little confused.

You stay you started the process 12 years ago. How long ago did she actually come to the U.S. and marry you?

Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but if you have been married for quite some time now and never filed for the green card through AOS then she should be very much out of status.

You mentioned that you wanted her to work in your store? Unless she filed for Form I-765, Application for Employment Authorization she isn't allowed to work in the U.S. just as your wife alone?

Don't get me wrong, this sounds like a horrible situation and I encourage you to get professional legal help and get out of the relationship and take your child somewhere safe, but there just seem to be a few holes that don't make sense to me. Could just be info you left out though.

Edited December 2, 2015 by MorganandMichael

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Remove the child immediately or you could risk losing your child someday

[NikLR 13,227]

Please for the love of anything you hold sacred, especially for your son, you need to move OUT and take your son with you. Make sure to file for full custody of your child. He is abused. Emotionally. Physically.

[NikLR 13,227]

In utah law you're actually legally required to report abuse.

http://slco.org/uploadedFiles/depot/humanServices/fYouth/2003statutesreferenceguide.pdf

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

If you have proof that she claimed to be a US citizen ( not resident ) send that to USCIS and she will never get a green card,

[gw68ad78 64]

Please listen and take care of your child. Remove him from the abuse and report immediately. Everything else comes a distant second.

[Sandra G. 5,043]

You should be concern about your child's safety instead worrying about your reputation.

It seems your marriage is a mess.You took 12 years to file for AOS for your wife. She was in a dating we site, she is taking/hiding money from you, she slapped your kid and you didn't do anything, man what's wrong with you? please protect your child!

She probably will submit form I-360 saying you abused her mentally(or physically) for years, she will mention that you refused for years to sponsor her GC.You will never find out if she filed or not, nobody will find out either. No way, no how you will have access or any information regarding her VAWA CASE (I-360)

You should inform USCIS about her US Citizenship claim.

[Ted & Janine 31]

I am not sure what to do. I do not want my name and credibilty associated with an abuse charge.

I live in Utah and I am not sure what consitutes child abuse, I do not know if yelling and screaming and slapping on the face, etc. is abuse or not.

I am echoing what Cheezees and a few others said.

I worked in law enforcement when I was a bit younger (Sheriff's Department) and have dealt with several CPS cases. You mentioned that you have video of her slapping him in the face, among other things. CPS has a priority of removing children from an environment where abuse is taking place, hence the title Child "Protective" Services. Once reported, they will open an investigation.

The part of your story that concerns me is that you did not immediately act on the evidence that you had on hand. It is possible that CPS could come back at you and question why you would leave your child in a possibly dangerous situation without taking action. I have seen children removed from their homes and placed in foster care pending the outcome of the investigation. In some cases, they go back after one of the parents that is knowingly aware of what is going on in their absence. They can file reckless childhood endangerment. In my state, striking a child is usually considered abuse and CPS will determine to what degree.

I don't have the expertise to comment on the immigration side of your story. But... children come first. Then you worry about the CYA part of it.

[Boiler 45,390]

Lots of simiar cases on VJ, oit is what it is and sounds like she knows how to play the system.

[kattaklizm 11]

1) As far as I know, even if she files I-360 than she needs to proof that you're an abuser. She should enclose court or police reports to get approved. Otherwise I don't see any possibility for her to get approved.

2) You'd better go to Children's Services right away and report the situation. Than you have better chances to keep the child after divorce

3) You should report to USCIS as well for lying that she pretended to be a USC and about her intention to file that form. it's better to enclose also reports from Children Services if they are any.

and yeah ...don't pay for her credit cards ...just don't

[deleted this acco 44]

these are damning accusations u are making; be4 l say anything its very odd to be married that long and act like this just happened. 12 years its a long time. When did the abuse start? Was she abusive to your son all these years and did you report it?