My Experience changing my Drivers License today..

[Cassie 8]

Just to clarify, my Original post was not meant to "bash" or offend any USC. We were just talking about some of our experiences here, and having a sense of humour about the whole thing. That was all. Sorry if this offended anyone.

That's a very Canadian response.

What I got from this thread is the warning not to hand over my Canadian driver's licence without first making sure that they will give me back my personal property and without mutilating it. Why on earth would they destroy other people's personal property that they might still want and need? I can see destroying a licence from another state if people are allowed to have only one US licence, but why destroy a licence for another country?

because many states have rules about possessing multiple state or official IDs, especially if they have name variations (like a female possessing state ID in maiden and married names). Identity theft and security risks and all.

It made me a bit sad to hand over my Canadian DL, but I understood. 'Tis the cost of doing business.

[antda 13]

Hi Everyone,

Good luck on your immigration journeys. I agree one of the important reasons why people move to the USA is because their spouse is living in the USA and they want to be closer to them. But that should not be the only reason that you moved here, as ultimately one should also be happy where they choose to live (in this case the USA) too. Sure, with immigration comes sacrifices and of giving up former hopes, dreams, family, friends, etc. And that is a big life-changing thing to do, indeed! Nevertheless, don’t dwell too much on the past of what you gave up in your former country, as you’ll miss many opportunities of the future in your new life here in the USA…

In starting a new life in moving to the USA, one should see more of the positives of a new start and try to make the best of their new life here. It’s ok to complain for awhile about the little things and minor differences, especially when one us not used to a new life in a new country. But in the overall picture: Quit complaining, or move back to your own country (this applies to any country) if overall you seem so much happier there. Sorry, I’m tired of seeing complaining that they are not happy here in the USA (though I’ve heard more than my fair share of immigrants in Canada complaining about Canada too). And the important thing in life is being happy, right? So if you’re not happy here where you immigrated too, then move out back to your old country, it’s as simple as that.

Hmmm…maybe the USCIS should ask: “Why do you want to move here to the USA, besides the obvious reason of moving to be with your spouse?”.

What I don’t agree with too is how people say that they would move back to their own country if something happens to their spouse. Frankly that would be disrespectful to your spouse and your family here. Also, put the shoe on the other foot and imagine if your spouse had to move to your country, and all they did was complain about how much they missed their old life in their own country and they left you to go live back in their old country or to go live somewhere else? I’m sure you wouldn’t be too happy about that, would you?

So the bottom line is, make the best of what the USA has to offer, in terms of your new life here pursuing your “American Dreams” (and yes, that includes being with your spouse, not just the financial/career aspect of this commonly used ideology), whatever those “American Dreams” of your new life in America may be….

Just my two Lincoln cents (or two and one-eighteenth Elizabeth cents) worth…

Ant

Misa

Well I'm not going to speak for the other Canadians here but the only reason why I'm moving is to be with my husband as it makes more sense for his career to stay there for now. If the marriage ended, I'd come back to Canada in a heartbeat.

Patriotism is all fine and dandy except when it single-handedly dismisses critiques in a STFU kind of way. That doesn't sit well with me.

Em

I'm agreeing with you too. The only reason I'm here is because of my husband as well

Don't care one bit about patriotism or "the American Dream" (sorry, Ant, I had a career going on for me back in Canada and didn't need to move here to fulfill any dreams... my "dream" is to be well-travelled and a citizen of the world, and the term "patriotism" actually sends a shiver down my back).

Flames

I don't think I will ever feel "American". I know if somethign were to happen to my wife, I would be packed up ASAP and back to canada. Not that the USA is bad, but Canada is home, closer to family and Tim Hortons!!

CannuckmeetsYank

I agree. I too am here for my husband. I had a well established career back in Canada, and family and friends. But made the choice to come here for him. Grant it I will make the best of a life here I can for us and our family. But should something change or happen to him I would also move back without a second thought.

[misa 2]

Ant, I appreciate your comments but the way I see it is we're all commisserating here in a regional specific forum. I think that's fair for us to be able to do that without being told to quit complaining and go back home. Plus "going back home" isn't as simple as you make it out to be especially since we'd have our USC spouse to consider in the mix too, a ton of money involved and another set of immigration hoops to jump through.

Maybe this is the regional difference even though I know you are originally from Canada. I don't care if new immigrants to Canada complain about things. It's their right to do so and it doesn't bother me because I don't know their day to day experiences which are probably totally different from mine.

How is it disrespectful to my spouse and his family if the marriage ended and I move back to Canada? He knows where I stand on that and it doesn't bother him one bit. Why would it? Like I said, were talking amongst ourselves here and not necessarily "complaining" to our spouses. Though my U.S. born spouse has plenty of the same gripes I have about the U.S. so I don't think he'd care if I complained to him or vice-versa if he moved here.

[vanee 13]

...but the way I see it is we're all commisserating here in a regional specific forum.

Exactly. It helps so much to talk with other Canadians in this forum who are going through the same adjustment process.

Some background to my comment about keeping Canadian drivers' licences...here are some of the differences I've observed (generally speaking, of course) between Canadians and Americans:

1. Americans tend to think that Canadians are like themselves, while Canadians tend to be more aware of the differences.

2. The awareness of being American is much more pervasive in the US than the awareness of being Canadian is in Canada. At this point (and it may change), it feels to me like many Americans feel more comfortable if other people try to (or have to) be like them. In Canada, we're bigger on diversity. "The US is a melting pot, and Canada is a mosaic."

3. The world news that the US media present appears to be more US-centric than news in Canada is Canada-centric. (But perhaps I'm just not as aware of the Canadian slant as I am of the American slant.)

The above differences are just differences. But they sometimes make me feel like that big entity known as the US is trying to swallow me.

Back to my driver's licence. It's been my photo ID since I was 16. Being told that the US government will take it from me if they give me a US licence is almost like being told that I'd have to give up my Canadian passport to get a US one. As though my country and my culture don't matter. As though doing things the American way is all that matters. Of course that isn't how it is, but that's the emotional reaction I get when I think of the American government destroying my licence from my country because they issued an American one.

And I will still want to use my Canadian licence. When I go back to Canada on visits, I want to show my Canadian ID. My only reason for wanting to live in the US is to marry and be with the man I love. And while I'll adjust to and contribute to the country I'm living in, I am and always will be Canadian (although perhaps with dual citizenship).

Before anyone flames me, please note that I'm talking about emotions. It's a huge emotional process to move from one's own country. As misa said, this is a regional forum where we Canadians can commiserate.

[no one 0]

Ant,

I understand why you are bitter about your past ties to Canada and why you are personally very relieved to be out of Canada.

That said, the one and ONLY reason I am here in California is because of my husband.

This does NOT mean I am unhappy here.

Like others said, many of us came here because of our husbands, BUT we also plan on making the best out of life here.

Once we have children, once I restart my career, I'm sure I can say that I have more reasons to stay here in the U.S. However, this doesn't mean I came here because I *wanted* to start a family or that I *wanted* to start my career all over again.

You see the difference now?

PS - Remember the thread you'd started in the other forum section about sacrifices? Well, for some of us, the sacrifices are greater. You understand, some of us are willing to sacrifice EVERYTHING WE HAD for our beloved one. We really had no other advantages in moving to the U.S. other than being with our loved one.

Edited March 11, 2007 by echomyst

[no one 0]

PPS - the ultimate sacrifice in dropping everything we had for a single loved one is hard to believe, eh? But believe me, many of us have done it and I can completely empathize with this. Don't want to repeat myself silly, but I'm not bitter or unhappy for making this sacrifice despite having left behind my familly and friends, and a great career... and a city I love.

[cdancer 0]

I have been reading the past posts...all very interesting!!! I do agree its emotional and the sacrifices

we are choosing to take to move to the US to live a life with our spouses. But one thing I find interesting ...it seems the majority of the Canadians immigrating are women! It's easier for us to give up our careers and jobs to move to the US and start all over again! LOL! Whats with that?

[together2love 0]

Ant, I appreciate your comments but the way I see it is we're all commisserating here in a regional specific forum. I think that's fair for us to be able to do that without being told to quit complaining and go back home. Plus "going back home" isn't as simple as you make it out to be especially since we'd have our USC spouse to consider in the mix too, a ton of money involved and another set of immigration hoops to jump through.

Maybe this is the regional difference even though I know you are originally from Canada. I don't care if new immigrants to Canada complain about things. It's their right to do so and it doesn't bother me because I don't know their day to day experiences which are probably totally different from mine.

How is it disrespectful to my spouse and his family if the marriage ended and I move back to Canada? He knows where I stand on that and it doesn't bother him one bit. Why would it? Like I said, were talking amongst ourselves here and not necessarily "complaining" to our spouses. Though my U.S. born spouse has plenty of the same gripes I have about the U.S. so I don't think he'd care if I complained to him or vice-versa if he moved here.

This is where I agree.

[warlord 73]

Hmmm interesting thread on why people moved to the US. I moved about 9 years ago for the simple fact I never liked living in Canada and always had more friends in the US and just fit in better with the American way. So I worked to get out of Canada and luckily found a job that could sponsor me. Meeting my wife was actually just a bonus after already being here. She has talk (jokingly I hope) that it might be cool to try and live in Canada, I laughed and said I wouldn't live there again if my life depended on it ha ha.

So I guess my reasons are different then many of you who have come for your husbands so for me all I have experienced in the US is the positive and the only things I see from Canada are the negatives. People laugh at me here the way I bash Canada all the time, many of the (All US Citizens) stand up for Canada which is even funnier. Anyways, I'm just happy I'm finally home to where I belong in the USA...

[BexandDavid 0]

I had two reasons for moving to the US. #1 is my husband of course #2 is to attempt to make a career in the best city in the world for theatre. I'm quite young so I could have done it in Toronto. I had a good start, and if things don't work out either with our marriage or our careers I'll definitely go back. And he would likely come with me, because he's been looking for any excuse to get out of the USA.

But I plan on making the absolute best that I can out of my life here. I don't plan on wasting my time in the most exciting city on the continent by being miserable and homesick.

[notrepetiteashley 0]

I am the USC in this relationship, and to be honest, I would much rather be in Canada. My husband moved here because I was still in school. Now he's in school here, so we're basically staying until he graduates. I wonder if I can handle going through the immigration process alllll over again, this time for my Canadian visa. My end goal is to have Canadian citizenship.

It isn't that I hate America or anything. I just identify with the Canadian culture and prefer it and it would please me to live there and raise our children there, when we have them. It's like those people who were born in a male body but always felt female. LOL! I was born American, but have always felt Canadian.

Is that wrong? It sounds funny. But it's true. I don't know how this happened to me! hehe

[Mephys 2]

I can totally relate about making sacrifices. Before I met my future husband, I have never been outside of Montreal. I had a terrible accent when speaking in english because I am a french canadian that thought would never learn the language.

But I met him, and was ready to give anything to have a chance with him. He is my life. Period. But yet he has children and can't leave them, which was automatically giving me the responsability of taking THE decision to move to the States. Me, a french canadian, in the states..... Yeah right. Im from quebec damnit.

I sold everything furnitures, car, went back to my mom's place waiting for that stupid visa, it aint easy believe me. Now all my friends are accusing me of being "assimilated" by an american

But this was not a light decision. I knew what I was doing and I'm moving in one month, more ready to face it than I was 16 months ago when I decided to do it. I have the chance to be bilingual now, to have job opportunities, that should be a piece of cake!!!

Seriously, I will miss my hometown, poutine, quebec's humour, french people, my friends and all the rest. Would I come back if anything happened? No idea, only time will tell. But yeah the only reason im going to USA is him.

Mephys

[antda 13]

Hi Everyone,

Good luck on your immigration journeys! If you would like to talk/post more about your immigration and sacrifices with other VJ members who have had similar thoughts and experiences about this topic, feel free to add to this message thread that I started:

"Immigration and Sacrifices": http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...c=53931&hl=

Ant

[antda 13]

Hi Misa, Em, and Everyone Else,

Good luck oj your immigration journeys! Thanks for your replies. Likewise, I moved to the USA because of my husband too (which I am very happy with), but I also look beyond that obvious fact too, and see the other positive reasons of living here in the USA too. I understand that with immigration comes sacrifices, and everyone has to give up things when they immigrate to a new country. Everyone gives up something or other, and there is not one thing that is more important than another thing, for every situation is different. Nevertheless, the important thing is that you are happy with the choice that you made in moving here to the USA and that you look at it as a positive thing that you made those sacrifices to be here in the USA with your loved ones, instead of dwelling on “what could have been if I did not move to the USA”. The past is the past, and cannot be changed. Think instead of the present and of the future, which can be changed for the better. Also, think of it this way: Moving to the USA to be with your spouse is a new and more positive start to a better life. Make the best of what the USA has to offer (and yes, that means includes being with your spouse too).

The important thing to you and to everyone else is that as long as you are happy with the choice that you made to live with their spouse the USA, so be it. As long as everyone is happy here in the USA, then it’s good thing, indeed!

Enjoy your new life in the USA .

Ant (Positive about a new life in the USA!!!)

Misa

Ant, I appreciate your comments but the way I see it is we're all commisserating here in a regional specific forum. I think that's fair for us to be able to do that without being told to quit complaining and go back home. Plus "going back home" isn't as simple as you make it out to be especially since we'd have our USC spouse to consider in the mix too, a ton of money involved and another set of immigration hoops to jump through.

Maybe this is the regional difference even though I know you are originally from Canada. I don't care if new immigrants to Canada complain about things. It's their right to do so and it doesn't bother me because I don't know their day to day experiences which are probably totally different from mine.

How is it disrespectful to my spouse and his family if the marriage ended and I move back to Canada? He knows where I stand on that and it doesn't bother him one bit. Why would it? Like I said, were talking amongst ourselves here and not necessarily "complaining" to our spouses. Though my U.S. born spouse has plenty of the same gripes I have about the U.S. so I don't think he'd care if I complained to him or vice-versa if he moved here.

Em

Ant, I understand why you are bitter about your past ties to Canada and why you are personally very relieved to be out of Canada.

That said, the one and ONLY reason I am here in California is because of my husband.

This does NOT mean I am unhappy here.

Like others said, many of us came here because of our husbands, BUT we also plan on making the best out of life here.

Once we have children, once I restart my career, I'm sure I can say that I have more reasons to stay here in the U.S. However, this doesn't mean I came here because I *wanted* to start a family or that I *wanted* to start my career all over again.

You see the difference now?

PPS - the ultimate sacrifice in dropping everything we had for a single loved one is hard to believe, eh? But believe me, many of us have done it and I can completely empathize with this. Don't want to repeat myself silly, but I'm not bitter or unhappy for making this sacrifice despite having left behind my familly and friends, and a great career... and a city I love.

[antda 13]

Hi BexandDavid and Everyone Else,

Good luck on your immigration journey! I totally agree with you! That's exactly what I meant in my previous posts: "make the best out of life here in the USA". Likewise, I am making the best out of my life here in the USA too and not waste my time on being miserable!

What a good and positive attitude to have indeed!

Enjoy your life here in the USA too!

Ant

But I plan on making the absolute best that I can out of my life here. I don't plan on wasting my time in the most exciting city on the continent by being miserable and homesick.