I'm here to ask questions and get some advice.

[smokeface 17]

I'm not really sure where to start here, but I have some questions and seek some advice about the situation me and the filipina girl I'm in love with are currently in. I guess the best place to start would be how we met 7 or 8 years ago. She was streaming herself on a site called justin.tv, and I saw her stream. We started chatting in there and that's where we first met. So I don't drag this out too long, lets just say we kept talking from that day on. We were friends at first, and she had a boyfriend. She was married as well at the time to a Japanese man that she married to get into Japan and find work. She is still married to this man in the Philippines, but they are divorced in japan. We started becoming more friendly and even attracted to each other. We talked for a couple years and wanted to be with each other but I didn't think I would ever make the money and have the ability to make it work, so I decided to stop. We still talked from time to time and I ended up going to school and getting a degree. As I was finishing up school we started talking more and more. We ended up falling for each other all over again, and this time I felt I could actually do this and make this happen. She is still with that same boyfriend. She says she wants to break up with him but she is not in the financial situation to do so. This guy is pretty wealthy and supports her financially where I cannot with her living there. It makes it very hard to keep doing this at times, but I really do love this girl and she loves me. So she has this boyfriend and shes still married in the Philippines, but she is working on getting an annulment. I'm going to meet her for the first time in January in Japan. A couple of questions I have are about our conversations. If I supply our conversations as evidence of our relationship should I include messages where we are talking about her bf? Or even when we are upset with each other because this has been a little difficult at times? Should I supply all messages or pick and choose? I mean there are thousands upon thousands of messages to weed though. All from about May this year to now. I have some old messages on Facebook from like 2010 and some on Skype from the same time but there aren't many. We mostly talked on Yahoo back then and those messages are long gone. Would the messages from this year alone be enough? We are not starting this process until her annulment is finished, and I'm going to go see her again. I also have call logs on Skype on my phone but they aren't on my computer so it might be difficult to get those logs for evidence, should I use those? Another thing is we are meeting in Japan and not the Philippines, will this look strange? If we start this process immediately after her annulment will that cause issues? I'm sorry about the very long post, I just have so many questions. Any help you can provide I would be so grateful for. Thank all who reply.

[JL818 18]

A couple of questions I have are about our conversations. If I supply our conversations as evidence of our relationship should I include messages where we are talking about her bf? Or even when we are upset with each other because this has been a little difficult at times? Should I supply all messages or pick and choose? I mean there are thousands upon thousands of messages to weed though. All from about May this year to now. I have some old messages on Facebook from like 2010 and some on Skype from the same time but there aren't many. We mostly talked on Yahoo back then and those messages are long gone. Would the messages from this year alone be enough?

Do not provide them with an entire transcript. Pick and choose a few conversations from throughout your relationship and focus on the better ones (not arguing or talking about her husband).

Another thing is we are meeting in Japan and not the Philippines, will this look strange?

I don't think this in itself would cause any concerns.

If we start this process immediately after her annulment will that cause issues?

Not necessarily, but you're probably going to want to work on your overall story a bit. If I were an immigration official, what you have written here would probably raise red flags for me.

[smokeface 17]

Yes, I definitely understand that it would raise red flags. I wasn't sure if I would need to supply a lot of conversation as evidence. The more I do research though it seems as long as I can prove our relationship I should be ok without ever mentioning the problems we face. Are conversations from this year ok? Does it not need to go back and further than that?

[Russ&Caro 1,549]

Consider playing it cool until she cleans up the loose ends in her life. This should be hers and your priority, not immigration. And if at any point she wavers on these priorities consider dropping back to being friends with her. Yes, you love her. It's time for her to show what you mean to her. Once her stuff is cleaned up, work on the relationship with a couple of visits. If everything seems cool at that point, then start the visa journey.

Best of luck to you, and be careful.

[smokeface 17]

Thank you both for your advice.

[Anh map 2,098]

I'd be very cautious as you move forward. The more time that you can spend face to face the more you will be able to get a sense of her true intentions. To a dispassionate outsider the story sounds like she is looking to go to the US and you are the opportunity.

Take it slow and realize that until she sorts out her marriage(s) there is no way that you can petition for her.

If she's been living and working in Japan for several years why can't she support herself? That should be a big question in your mind.

[JL818 18]

Yes, I definitely understand that it would raise red flags. I wasn't sure if I would need to supply a lot of conversation as evidence. The more I do research though it seems as long as I can prove our relationship I should be ok without ever mentioning the problems we face. Are conversations from this year ok? Does it not need to go back and further than that?

Yes, as long as you can prove you have a genuine relationship, you don't need a mountain of evidence. My application was approved with only 5 photographs and a plane ticket showing that I visited my fiancee.

I don't think that you will have issues proving your relationship, but you might want to consider giving it more time to work it out. It's probably not the greatest thing that she is still with this guy purely for financial reasons, and as Russ&Caro mentioned, I would be careful.

[DaNnE 17]

This

The more time that you can spend face to face the more you will be able to get a sense of her true intentions. To a dispassionate outsider the story sounds like she is looking to go to the US and you are the opportunity.

[smokeface 17]

I understand all of your concern and how this looks. She doesn't work anymore and hasn't for a long time because her wealthy boyfriend supports her. Like I said in my post I have known her for about 8 years so I don't think she would string me along like this just to get into the US. On top of that this boyfriend is almost never around he has to travel for work constantly and is only around her a few days every couple of months or so. This is how we are able to skype every single day, and sometimes all day long. I can feel that is a legitimate relationship because we do things I have done in legitimate relationships before we just have to do them over Skype unfortunately. I really do appreciate the concern of complete strangers but knowing this is a legitimate relationship is not an issue I have and is not why I came here. Also, just so you guys know it will be a while before we start this process and I will not start this process until she breaks up with him and her marriage is annulled of course. So don't worry about me, but thanks anyways.

[Russ&Caro 1,549]

I understand all of your concern and how this looks. She doesn't work anymore and hasn't for a long time because her wealthy boyfriend supports her. Like I said in my post I have known her for about 8 years so I don't think she would string me along like this just to get into the US. On top of that this boyfriend is almost never around he has to travel for work constantly and is only around her a few days every couple of months or so. This is how we are able to skype every single day, and sometimes all day long. I can feel that is a legitimate relationship because we do things I have done in legitimate relationships before we just have to do them over Skype unfortunately. I really do appreciate the concern of complete strangers but knowing this is a legitimate relationship is not an issue I have and is not why I came here. Also, just so you guys know it will be a while before we start this process and I will not start this process until she breaks up with him and her marriage is annulled of course. So don't worry about me, but thanks anyways.

That's good to hear. I think that's mainly what most of the people giving advice are concerned with. Yes, we are all strangers here but many here really do want to see others succeed in their visa journeys. Looks like you have a good handle on this. Best of luck!