What causes the divorce to be expensive?

[POA 178]

A man was married with two kids. He got separated. He was doing so well financially until he filed he got divorced. He didn't use a lawyer for the divorced but he ended up having financial issues. He filed the divorce online and was finalized.

So, how else can divorce get you broke if you didn't use a lawyer and have a steady paycheck earning almost 10k per month?

[Ontarkie 14,722]

Well hard to say really. Did he agree to more child support then he could actually afford? With an income of 10k a month his child support would be substantial, plus what else did he agree to pay for.

Other then child support and or spousal support at 10k a month he could just be bad just be bad with money. That or plain old lying about it all how much he makes.

[POA 178]

  On 11/14/2015 at 12:50 AM, Ontarkie said:

Well hard to say really. Did he agree to more child support then he could actually afford? With an income of 10k a month his child support would be substantial, plus what else did he agree to pay for.

Other then child support and or spousal support at 10k a month he could just be bad just be bad with money. That or plain old lying about it all how much he makes.

Thanks Ontarkie! I know he has some child and spousal support but not sure how much. I am also wondering how did he become that broke after the divorced that he could not even pay for his own place and has to live with his ex-wife.. I think I don't know enough details to really know what's going on.

[Ontarkie 14,722]

He is living with his ex, wow!

I'm pretty sure there is so much more to this then what he is telling.

Heck he may not even be divorced, I sure wouldn't believe much from him atm.

[SAT 9,609]

Marriage is grand.....

Divorce, is a hundred grand......

[POA 178]

  On 11/14/2015 at 2:00 AM, Ontarkie said:

He is living with his ex, wow!

I'm pretty sure there is so much more to this then what he is telling.

Heck he may not even be divorced, I sure wouldn't believe much from him atm.

That's what I also said. It's very unusual to live with the ex-wife after the divorce. He just got re-married to someone else but a lot is still unclear.

  On 11/14/2015 at 3:16 AM, SAT said:

Marriage is grand.....

Divorce, is a hundred grand......

lol. That's probably why. hahaha

[SAT 9,609]

If he makes 10k a month, take 25% off the top for child support for 2 kids. That leaves him with 7500.

Out of that, if he contributes 10% to 401K, that's 750 off the top of 7500 before tax. That leaves him with 6750.

Since he makes a buck 20 a year, he's probably in a 25% tax bracket. That leaves him with about 5000.

Depending where he lives, the state takes another 10% or more, that leaves him with 4500 (This number is being generous).

Some cities charge a city tax, or commuter tax, that's another 2-300. That leaves him with 4200.

Depending on where he lives, utilities, cell phone, car payment, credit card debt, gas and tolls, etc, that can take up 1000-1500. That leaves him what....23-2700?

I spend about 50-60 dollars a day for food, coffee, etc....That's 1500-2000 a month, but that's me. And that doesn't include grocery shopping.

My kids (public) school expenses come to about 100 a month.

So, it's perfectly understandable how a 10k a month income can dwindle away.

[Ash.1101 1,756]

Divorce doesn't need to be that expensive. For mine, uncontested with a waiver of citation (ex waived his rights to the divorce), we paid about 375$ for a legal document prepare to prepare the papers and then it was 325$ to file. My ex pays the minimum child support, as I'm a bit too nice for my own good.


With that said, depending on what was in the decree, he could be paying way too much for child support and spousal support and if she took the car and the house or anything like that, he may have no liquid assets. If he waived his right to the divorce, his ex very well could have put over the top support numbers because you aren't required to give the ex a copy of the decree when it's signed. You don't even need to show it to them before it's signed. You only have to give them the copy of the petition, a copy of their filed waived rights, and then if they want a copy of the decree they can print it out at the court house for a fee. Having a lawyer would have stopped him from being screwed over most likely.

Also could be a case of bills, but if she can live nicely and he's stuck with her because he has no money, there's the chance that the money was hers to begin with and she knows how to do finances where he does not. If he's having to live with her, then I'm going to assume in the agreement, she got the house, and most of the cofunds. If he had a decent job he should be able to move out, but if his paycheck is going to child support and spousal and he can't even afford rent then he should of fought a little bit harder and gotten a lawyer..


When my parents got divorced, my mother literally maxed out EVERY credit card that had my dad's name on it as a joint account holder. The accounts had incredible limits and my mom did it simply out of spite. She put them both in incredible debt. She also had a situation much like mine where SHE waived her right to the divorce, so the divorce was pretty simple and not as expensive as it could have been. She ended up screwing them both over financially for years by dumping their credit.

[POA 178]

  On 11/14/2015 at 3:30 AM, SAT said:

If he makes 10k a month, take 25% off the top for child support for 2 kids. That leaves him with 7500.

Out of that, if he contributes 10% to 401K, that's 750 off the top of 7500 before tax. That leaves him with 6750.

Since he makes a buck 20 a year, he's probably in a 25% tax bracket. That leaves him with about 5000.

Depending where he lives, the state takes another 10% or more, that leaves him with 4500 (This number is being generous).

Some cities charge a city tax, or commuter tax, that's another 2-300. That leaves him with 4200.

Depending on where he lives, utilities, cell phone, car payment, credit card debt, gas and tolls, etc, that can take up 1000-1500. That leaves him what....23-2700?

I spend about 50-60 dollars a day for food, coffee, etc....That's 1500-2000 a month, but that's me. And that doesn't include grocery shopping.

My kids (public) school expenses come to about 100 a month.

So, it's perfectly understandable how a 10k a month income can dwindle away.

You are probably right as well. I was told that his almost 10k though is after taxes but if that's how much the probable spending then it would actually be possible.

[POA 178]

  On 11/14/2015 at 3:31 AM, Ash.1101 said:

Divorce doesn't need to be that expensive. For mine, uncontested with a waiver of citation (ex waived his rights to the divorce), we paid about 375$ for a legal document prepare to prepare the papers and then it was 325$ to file. My ex pays the minimum child support, as I'm a bit too nice for my own good.

With that said, depending on what was in the decree, he could be paying way too much for child support and spousal support and if she took the car and the house or anything like that, he may have no liquid assets. If he waived his right to the divorce, his ex very well could have put over the top support numbers because you aren't required to give the ex a copy of the decree when it's signed. You don't even need to show it to them before it's signed. You only have to give them the copy of the petition, a copy of their filed waived rights, and then if they want a copy of the decree they can print it out at the court house for a fee. Having a lawyer would have stopped him from being screwed over most likely.

Also could be a case of bills, but if she can live nicely and he's stuck with her because he has no money, there's the chance that the money was hers to begin with and she knows how to do finances where he does not. If he's having to live with her, then I'm going to assume in the agreement, she got the house, and most of the cofunds. If he had a decent job he should be able to move out, but if his paycheck is going to child support and spousal and he can't even afford rent then he should of fought a little bit harder and gotten a lawyer..

When my parents got divorced, my mother literally maxed out EVERY credit card that had my dad's name on it as a joint account holder. The accounts had incredible limits and my mom did it simply out of spite. She put them both in incredible debt. She also had a situation much like mine where SHE waived her right to the divorce, so the divorce was pretty simple and not as expensive as it could have been. She ended up screwing them both over financially for years by dumping their credit.

Thanks Ash.1101. He might have been screwed for this divorce. I just can't believe it at first as to how that happened unless of course he doesn't really earn that much and have what he said he has. The ex-wife doesn't work right now so he takes care of everything. I think...

[SAT 9,609]

  On 11/14/2015 at 3:36 AM, POA said:

You are probably right as well. I was told that his almost 10k though is after taxes but if that's how much the probable spending then it would actually be possible.

10k after taxes, then he's probably making a quarter mil a year.

He can afford a 2 child-divorce. Something isn't jiving.....

[POA 178]

  On 11/14/2015 at 3:45 AM, SAT said:

10k after taxes, then he's probably making a quarter mil a year.

He can afford a 2 child-divorce. Something isn't jiving.....

That's what I am thinking too. He can't even afford to file the $420 for I-130 petition. But of course, we only know so much. He might be in debt even before the divorce and he just blame the divorce to cover up.

[SAT 9,609]

I wish I had answers for ya.

But since I don't, I can only wish you the best of luck.

[POA 178]

  On 11/14/2015 at 3:52 AM, SAT said:

I wish I had answers for ya.

But since I don't, I can only wish you the best of luck.

Thanks. It's not for me. But I will surely share your responses.

[SAT 9,609]

OK, well, best of luck to whomever lol