Does any dv winner have second thoughts...

[Ortolan 381]

Hey Alex, you know what to do, in your heart. Here's a thing I do sometimes: Lie down, close your eyes, pretend it's 6 months from now and you've chosen to stay with your girl. Are you happy? Do the same thing about moving to NYC. Maybe that'll help you feel more solid.

Do what YOU want.

[acgmph 42]

It's your life, you cannot ask anybody else to make a decision for you. No matter what everyone's opinions are... it is YOUR life and YOUR decision.

Personally, I would not return to live in Europe. Ever.

[3rd 84]

Yes I am aware that there are many nicer places to live in the US than NYC, it just happens that all of my family relatives live there, so I can't go anywhere else at the beginning.

I know I sound bitter and ungrateful for being lucky enough to win a GC, it's just that I am a bit stressed of my future's happiness.

Should I choose to live in Greece with the debt crisis and my low wage but steady job and being with the woman I love, or take my chances in the US hoping that I find a decent paying job and be lucky to meet a nice person?

I see it as a gamble that's why I'm so stressed.

Also, NYC is just one part of NY. You can live in NY and not pay extortionate amounts in rent. But who am I to say anything when I live in San Francisco and it's crazy expensive here too.

I know which I'd choose. Love over 'wealth' is a no-brainer. Love doesn't come around all too often, and you can always make more money.

[Alex Ve 5]

Thank you all for your thoughts. I know that no one can help me, I just wanted to share my feelings with someone who might be in a similar position. Being lucky enough to win a green card but the person you love doesn't want to move abroad. It just sucks.

Edited November 6, 2015 by Alex Ve

[Alex Ve 5]

My advice don't lose that woman. Get married. Even in the court a quick marriage to show her your intentions. Come to USA, not all jobs are minimum wage. I work for UPS and I make about $43000. 3 more years and I make more than $100000, no degree needed. File for her green card, she comes here. You make s good, beautiful her dream kind of wedding for her and y'all live happy ever after.

Don't lose her.

Good luck

wow. How's that even possible...? That's an insane amount of money for such a short period of time. How many hours do you have to work for 100K if I may ask?

[InsanelyOne 8]

That's what worries me.

That I will be another minimum wage slave just like the majority of the US population, away from the nice places and the people I know since a little kid in my home country and of course the painful separation from the woman I love.

I don't get the fascination people have with the US. It's really endless work until you reach 80s, with less vacation and many work hours compared to some european countries.

One thing that stays with me is when I read a New Yorker saying that he hates that place so much and wants to leave one day, but he can't save enough money to do so and that when americans (poor-middle class) brag about how awesome the US is, they only do so because they don't won't to admit that they can't leave and lie to themselves to feel better.

That's a very depressing thought...

With all due respect, why did you apply for the Diversity Lottery when you don't appear to have any desire to come to the US?

[Alex Ve 5]

With all due respect, why did you apply for the Diversity Lottery when you don't appear to have any desire to come to the US?

Well, I never imagined that I would get selected in the first place when I applied for the dv lottery.

Before the lottery I was trying to migrate to other countries unsuccessfully though. It also didn't help that all of my family members and friends are all in the US, so that makes it my only option. And since I am granted a GC for free my family sees it as a the only road I got to follow.

It's not so much that I don't have any desire to come to the US, it's just I just wished I didn't have to quit my current job and break up with my partner in order to move to the US, so that it didn't feel that I am leaving all those things behind me. I know it doesn't make much sense.

I admit it. I am a crybaby...When I applied for the dv lottery I was stressed all the time wether I would win a GC.

Now that I won, I am stressed cause I don't know if I'll like it in the US and if I will find a decent job and a partner.

Edited November 6, 2015 by Alex Ve

[MoroccanEscape 31]

I second that ! Being happy is not about where you are but who you are with. If you've found happiness and love then go for it. It's a once in a lifetime chance. Things happen for a reason.

[Sandra G. 5,047]

I lived in NYC 10 years,loved, just moved to Connecticut (1.20 min from NYC). I can't see myself living in any other place on earth.

I have great friends here. Every time I go to visit my family in Brazil I count the minutes to return to the USA.Why your gf doesn't want to move to the USA? I hope she has an amazing job in your Country,because love does not pay bills, specially after having kids. If you decide to move to NYC send me a message, I can introduce you a bunch of friends in NYC. Tomorrow for example we will have in one of my friend's house a pajama party and the girls from NYC are coming over, they are from Ukraine,Brazil and Phillipines,as you see we find time to enjoy life here too.

[FxL 39]

Well, I never imagined that I would get selected in the first place when I applied for the dv lottery.

Before the lottery I was trying to migrate to other countries unsuccessfully though. It also didn't help that all of my family members and friends are all in the US, so that makes it my only option. And since I am granted a GC for free my family sees it as a the only road I got to follow.

It's not so much that I don't have any desire to come to the US, it's just I just wished I didn't have to quit my current job and break up with my partner in order to move to the US, so that it didn't feel that I am leaving all those things behind me. I know it doesn't make much sense.

I admit it. I am a crybaby...When I applied for the dv lottery I was stressed all the time wether I would win a GC.

Now that I won, I am stressed cause I don't know if I'll like it in the US and if I will find a decent job and a partner.

There are people who 100% wants to come to live in the US because that's where the one they love is (my husband in the Philippines). They have their life planned in moving to the states but have to wait.

So if you're not 100% then don't come. Your partner wants to stay in Greece (?) and you love her. So don't let her be the one who gets away.

I wish you all the best and happiness.

[k_stacky 65]

Imagine if you were on your deathbed... which would you regret more? Not moving to the US? Or losing this love in your life?

No matter what you decide you're going to be giving up something, you just have to decide which one you can cope more with losing.

Weigh the pros and cons. Decide which is better for you and your life and your emotional happiness as well as your stability. Life is a gamble no matter what you do, so just make sure you take the time to truly decide whether you're placing the right bets. No matter what you decide, try not to be so hard on yourself. Yes, a lot of people would love to be in your position with the DV lotttery but you are not them and you shouldn't let other people shame you because of your unforseen conflicting feelings. Not taking the GC opportunity doesn't make you ungrateful and taking it doesn't make you selfish, either. You have to do what's right for you, because at the end of the day, you're the one who your decisions truly effect.

Edited November 7, 2015 by k_stacky

[Unshakable Faith 493]

What is her reasoning for not compromising with you on this?

[sandra3711 52]

This, IMHO, is a wild claim. Is there any statistics to back it up?

Not at all. The U.S has a population with over 320 million people, the vast majority are lower class borderline poverty. http://www.advisorperspectives.com/dshort/updates/Household-Incomes-by-State.php

Median HOUSEHOLD income (i.e not one person's income) is $50k a year. Can't get far in NYC with a 50k salary unless you're by yourself.

[SusieQQQ 11,586]

Not at all. The U.S has a population with over 320 million people, the vast majority are lower class borderline poverty. http://www.advisorperspectives.com/dshort/updates/Household-Incomes-by-State.php

Median HOUSEHOLD income (i.e not one person's income) is $50k a year. Can't get far in NYC with a 50k salary unless you're by yourself.

Can't compare one city to median income across the country. Income is higher in higher cost of living cities.

That's even before you take into account that the US definition of "poverty" differs vastly from what poverty really means in many countries that its immigrants come from. (Maybe coming from Sweden this is much harder for you to understand that it is for those of us who come from Africa.)

Edited November 7, 2015 by SusieQQQ

[LORIEandPHIL 123]

Do you have a trade? do you have a degree? What type of employment do you have now? You have regular employment in Greece, you have found love, why throw it all away just to live in a different country?