Does any dv winner have second thoughts...

[Alex Ve 5]

I'd like to know if I am alone in this.

I spent 2 years of emotional stress wether I would get selected for further processing and wether I would eventually get a visa after the interview.

During that time, I met a wonderful person and we had the time of our lives. When I told her initially that there is a chance that I win a green card somewhere along the year she didn't pay much attention saying that now that I found her I wouldn't have a reason to move to another country and I was somewhat dissapointed to hear from her that she would never leave her home country.

As the months were passing by and my interview day was coming closer, I was starting to feel torn inside and stressed because we loved each other very much and it would hurt us both if I was issued successfuly a visa.

And so it was done, after my visa was issued and I told her that I would have to travel to the US in the following months and maybe stay there forever, she was devastated.

She was so emotionally hurt from the news that she was hospitalised for some weeks and did all kinds of medical exams but the doctors didn't found anything wrong with her, it was all a result of the emotional stress she went through.

I really don't sleep well the last 3 months and I am feeling that I am making the greatest mistake that I will regret when I grow older.

Sadly, my family doesn't support me in this and they urge me to move to the US without looking back.

They only care about my financial success, not my emotional happines.

It also gets worse when I read many articles that say "Top reasons NOT to move to NY" like the expensive rents, the fact that everyone is for themselves and nobody notices you, everyone working frantically their assess off etc. Those might seem trivial, but I am a very emotional person and I don't like the feeling of loliness and isolation, nor I glorify money and financial success.

I'd like to hear your thoughts.

Edited November 6, 2015 by Alex Ve

[LoveinUganda 20]

Life is about being happy not being in the USA. Sounds like you have all the happiness with your true love, stay in your country propose to her , get married and have the best life ever. America is good but pure happiness which you seemed to have found is much much better.

[SusieQQQ 11,586]

I agree, propose to her. I presume you two want to get married and spend your life together, as you will be giving up pretty much a once in a lifetime opportunity for this.

I mean we had this discussion before, the US is not just NY and you haven't mentioned here the other problems before you said you had with this girl, but there is no point keeping to look for validation for what you want to do from anonymous people on the net who only get half a story. You want to stay, stay. Sounds like you and your I guess soon to be wife might need to move cities though if your family is so critical.

Edited November 6, 2015 by SusieQQQ

[Kastrs 723]

IF you love her then you should marry her. I am sure the decision is agonizing.

I am a NY resident and I will comment that this is an expensive place to live relative to most of the US.

Best of luck in whatever you decide.

[Boiler 45,468]

The majority of the US Population does not enjoy financial success.

[Alex Ve 5]

The majority of the US Population does not enjoy financial success.

That's what worries me.

That I will be another minimum wage slave just like the majority of the US population, away from the nice places and the people I know since a little kid in my home country and of course the painful separation from the woman I love.

I don't get the fascination people have with the US. It's really endless work until you reach 80s, with less vacation and many work hours compared to some european countries.

One thing that stays with me is when I read a New Yorker saying that he hates that place so much and wants to leave one day, but he can't save enough money to do so and that when americans (poor-middle class) brag about how awesome the US is, they only do so because they don't won't to admit that they can't leave and lie to themselves to feel better.

That's a very depressing thought...

Edited November 6, 2015 by Alex Ve

[SusieQQQ 11,586]

That's what worries me.

That I will be another minimum wage slave just like the majority of the US population, away from the nice places and the people I know since a little kid in my home country and of course the painful separation from the woman I love.

I don't get the fascination people have with the US. It's really endless work until you reach 80s, with less vacation and many work hours compared to some european countries.

One thing that stays with me is when I read a New Yorker saying that he hates that place so much and wants to leave one day, but he can't save enough money to do so and that when americans (poor-middle class) brag about how awesome the US is, they only do so because they don't won't to admit that they can't leave and lie to themselves to feel better.

That's a very depressing thought...

So stay with your girlfriend in Greece. Problem solved.

[Blessed137 1]

Hi Alex V, as Susie QQQ rightly said NY is not the only state in the US & again it all depends on each individual circumstance. I know friends and families who are really doing very well in different states.

The decision has to come from you, pray and fast for God's Divine direction for your Destiny cos He alone knows what's Best for you. Pls don't let anyone make a decision for you that will make you regret in the future. I pray the Best for you IJN??

Edited November 6, 2015 by Blessed137

[Boiler 45,468]

So stay with your girlfriend in Greece. Problem solved.

[Alex Ve 5]

Yes I am aware that there are many nicer places to live in the US than NYC, it just happens that all of my family relatives live there, so I can't go anywhere else at the beginning.

I know I sound bitter and ungrateful for being lucky enough to win a GC, it's just that I am a bit stressed of my future's happiness.

Should I choose to live in Greece with the debt crisis and my low wage but steady job and being with the woman I love, or take my chances in the US hoping that I find a decent paying job and be lucky to meet a nice person?

I see it as a gamble that's why I'm so stressed.

[4 the luv of Masr 14]

Yes I am aware that there are many nicer places to live in the US than NYC, it just happens that all of my family relatives live there, so I can't go anywhere else at the beginning.

I know I sound bitter and ungrateful for being lucky enough to win a GC, it's just that I am a bit stressed of my future's happiness.

Should I choose to live in Greece with the debt crisis and my low wage but steady job and being with the woman I love, or take my chances in the US hoping that I find a decent paying job and be lucky to meet a nice person?

I see it as a gamble that's why I'm so stressed.

Only you can decide. Make a decision and stick to it and most of the stress you are feeling will dissipate.

[BigDaddy28 228]

I'd like to know if I am alone in this.

I spent 2 years of emotional stress wether I would get selected for further processing and wether I would eventually get a visa after the interview.

During that time, I met a wonderful person and we had the time of our lives. When I told her initially that there is a chance that I win a green card somewhere along the year she didn't pay much attention saying that now that I found her I wouldn't have a reason to move to another country and I was somewhat dissapointed to hear from her that she would never leave her home country.

As the months were passing by and my interview day was coming closer, I was starting to feel torn inside and stressed because we loved each other very much and it would hurt us both if I was issued successfuly a visa.

And so it was done, after my visa was issued and I told her that I would have to travel to the US in the following months and maybe stay there forever, she was devastated.

She was so emotionally hurt from the news that she was hospitalised for some weeks and did all kinds of medical exams but the doctors didn't found anything wrong with her, it was all a result of the emotional stress she went through.

I really don't sleep well the last 3 months and I am feeling that I am making the greatest mistake that I will regret when I grow older.

Sadly, my family doesn't support me in this and they urge me to move to the US without looking back.

They only care about my financial success, not my emotional happines.

It also gets worse when I read many articles that say "Top reasons NOT to move to NY" like the expensive rents, the fact that everyone is for themselves and nobody notices you, everyone working frantically their assess off etc. Those might seem trivial, but I am a very emotional person and I don't like the feeling of loliness and isolation, nor I glorify money and financial success.

I'd like to hear your thoughts.

My advice don't lose that woman. Get married. Even in the court a quick marriage to show her your intentions. Come to USA, not all jobs are minimum wage. I work for UPS and I make about $43000. 3 more years and I make more than $100000, no degree needed. File for her green card, she comes here. You make s good, beautiful her dream kind of wedding for her and y'all live happy ever after.

Don't lose her.

Good luck

[Sarahnick 19]

Have you ever visited the USA? How did you like it at that time?

What are your plans for when you do make the move? Job? Friends? Etc.

I have lived in the states for first 2 yrs and those were the best, I had the time of my life (as an au pair and with a very low income) and now I just moved here and got married, circumstances this time is really different from my first experience.

Think about it, I left my family, job, friends and everything I knew to be with my love.

Is it worth sacrificing ALL this for NYC?

USA isn't everything and as long as your happy (as it sounds like) then why give that all up.

[WandY 430]

The U.S. has enough people trying to survive in a tough economy - and they don't whine. This community does not have a solution for your problem. Personally, I think you should stay in Greece.

[Sm1smom 250]

The majority of the US Population does not enjoy financial success.

This, IMHO, is a wild claim. Is there any statistics to back it up?