How many times did you meet prior to filing?

[sumehra29 22]

Met in 2008 lost contact until 2013 visited 3 times before filing k1 in June 2015 and came again for interview October 2015 wasn't allowed inside but waited outside so that probulary helped a lot they didn't ask him for any pictures or chats and didn't ask about ring or anything . Guess depends how the interview goes wish you luck don't be nervous if you love them you love them no one can change that

[Malak&Hemza 4]

Met once before filing, now happily married.

[heo luoi 206]

Met in 2008 lost contact until 2013 visited 3 times before filing k1 in June 2015 and came again for interview October 2015 wasn't allowed inside but waited outside so that probulary helped a lot they didn't ask him for any pictures or chats and didn't ask about ring or anything . Guess depends how the interview goes wish you luck don't be nervous if you love them you love them no one can change that

Thanks sumehra29, I stayed pretty even keel til yesterday and now that its crunch time uber paranoia finally seepeth in. Gonna be a rough few days...longer w/ Time Change! :/

But its differently interesting/educational to get others insights and their particulars for others to gauge there future approaches.

[ChuckM 8]

We met only once before filing, the spent more time together while waiting. We brought evidence of that visit to the interview.

[baron555 934]

Could you clarify what is is you mean by 'evolution of our relationship' and the corresponding evidence in more depth?

I think this is likely a very valid point and possibly too late for me, but I think others could benefit from it. I tried to keep as much evidence as possible but aside from 'reading our dialogs' or tapping our phones not sure how much more evidence to the nuance of ones relationship...which is difficult which is why I used a cool word like 'nuance':)

I'm going to post about my approach and experience as soon as next stage happens but I aside from physically being there and taking better/more pictures while I was there...not sure how much more evidence I could have procured. Just switched jobs and couldn't take anymore time off and didnt want to wait a whole nother year and I need vacation time to do more of the stinking process when she gets here...

To me this is akin to the AOS/ROC evidence as well. Putting your name on a bill/CC means nothing...really.

Its certainly possible to add another user to a bill, you dont really need to cohabitate. So evidence like that I would argue is actually less meaningful.

Sure, face to face time, on the whole is great....but how do you show a stranger who wasn't with you, what you talked about? In that regard, face time is not so great.

Our face time, on a virtual daily basis, was usually on Skype. We both were able to print off logs of our connections, print off some of our conversations when using the text messaging feature, I took many screenshot of her and the little one while we video chatted and included those. We emailed a lot...those provided the bulk of the content of our conversations. I sent gifts from which we had purchase and receiving receipts along with photos taken by her with those (flowers once but other useful items later). We text messaged a lot but could only print off logs of the chats, none that showed content. We had conversations about the visa process, our life together, where the little one would go to school (i drove around our town and took photos and sent those), about car insurance and other stuff. So by the time the interview came about, we had a ton of evidence of our relationship.

You guys can still do the same. Keep generating evidences....and talk about serious stuff.......but also, which we included, show some lovey-dovey stuff, couples that intend to marry usually are that way!

And you are correct about adding a name to a bill and calling that proof of an ongoing marriage for AOS....but again, it's only a small part of the whole picture.

[Ash.1101 1,756]

Having 'vacation' and being able to literally take a huge congruous chunk at once are very different things. Using 3 wks or more of vacation is certainly more difficult for employers to compensate for.

Yeah I think it's because I don't think I would ever expect my fiance to take off for more than 5-6 days. The one time he stayed for like 9 days I was SUPER excited and it was only because they had given him a couple of extra days off that he didn't ask for so he changed his return date, but I would never expect anyone I was dating or engaged to to come for 3 weeks or more.

Generally my fiance would work with his manager and get two of his already "off days/weekend type days" within the dates he wanted to come. So he really only had to use three-four of his vacation days each time. He'd also ask for it at least a month and a half in advance, and work around his managers needs.

I do agree with Baron555 as for being able to prove the legitimacy of the relationship. All of those stages he listed are very important, and being able to answer all of those def help the case out. Where you started, how you got to know the other person, how you went into deciding you wanted to date/marry this person, your plans to get married, your plans for the near future, your plans for the far future, etc.

My fiance and I had a 3 year plan prior to filing for the visa when we started dating. Originally, it was 3 full years of dating before we were engaged and filed, we cut it down to 2 years because at 2 years we knew we were ready to start the process. We have a plan for say the next 3-5 years going on from when he enters the country, as in what to look for in jobs, houses, how we handle the finances, goals we want to fulfill by then as a married couple, etc. Again though, doesn't mean plans always work, but being prepared for the future sure helps.

There's a lot of people that get denied due to bone fide, and they usually come back with something along the lines of "WELL HOW CAN THEY KNOW IF I LOVE SOMEONE OR NOT".

It's not just about the ability to feel love for another human or that desperate need to have them living with you and being next to you. It's about living a productive and successful life together as a married couple in the US, to the government. You could love someone with all your heart, but when you try to convince someone of your relationship, saying "because I love him/her" doesn't really work. Who's going to handle the finances? "I don't know but I know that I love them!" Who's going to care for the house "i don't know but love is all we need!" Are you both going to work full time? part time? multiple jobs? "It's okay we'll figure it out because we love each other!" Well does love pay the bills "No but we'll worry about it when we get there!" What kind of house would you like to live in? "Any house with my love!" "What kind of activities do you two like doing" "Anything! As long as it's with the person I love!" It gets kinda crazy.

Again though, for the government, face time really helps. You get to see your fiance in their place, how they act "in real life", etc. There are A LOT of people who think they know their fiance or spouse, but then end up moving in with someone that is a shadow of that person they talked to on the phone or online. Having more face time usually reduces this and increases the chances of a successful relationship. The government WANTS you to be successful because the more successful you are, the more value you have to society.. as crude as that sounds.

Note: I do believe that you can totally have a great life with the person you love after meeting once. Most of this is from the Point of View of the consulate and their officers. Some people go "MAN HOW COULD THEY BE MARRIED THEY ONLY DATED FOR THREE MONTHS". My sister met my brother in law during a one night stand, married after meeting each other 3 months later, have been happily married for almost 17 years. It's a thing and it can happen.

Secondly: When my fiance was here those 8 times WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP OR FUTURE. We simply enjoyed each other, we learned that while we both are awful at bowling, we absolutely enjoy bowling! We enjoyed the time we had without complicating it with "When you're here, are we going to get a bank account here or here?" Maybe one or two conversations about serious subjects, but 99% of our "serious" conversations happen on Skype or in messages. We're running almost 600,000 facebook messages, most of our proof was in paper form.

As for AOS proof, I agree that the paper proof is a small part of it. It's really easy too at the end of the day. The hard part is having a solid built relationship and proving it!

Edited October 30, 2015 by Ash.1101

[heo luoi 206]

Top#2 for the day so far!? Woot! If only I was this popular in high school

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Met once before filing to satisfy USCIS.

Met 4 more times (total 5) to satisfy CO. Petition returned after 16 months in AP.

CO wasn't satisfied, not even with 12# of quality relationship evidence.

Re filed, different CO approved us.

Happily married for a year now.

Journey was a pain in the #######.

Glad it's over.

[sabellic 33]

We only met once in the last two years, for a month. Our case got approved now waiting for NVC

[heo luoi 206]

WOW. I imagine that is quite the story. No offense but I sure as heck hope that doesnt happen to me and if it does can lean on you for insights. I think I'm probably @ 12# of evidence myself.

Met once before filing to satisfy USCIS.

Met 4 more times (total 5) to satisfy CO. Petition returned after 16 months in AP.

CO wasn't satisfied, not even with 12# of quality relationship evidence.

Re filed, different CO approved us.

Happily married for a year now.

Journey was a pain in the #######.

Glad it's over.

[Longrangeshootr 20]

Worried if we will have issues since we hadn't 'met' a lot. Hopefully others have been successful w/o issue...than just got curious, how many 'times' have you met prior to filing, assuming more than a weekend or something for those that are rather far away.

We filed after our first meeting of 10 days, as I was worried about the Vietnam consulate I researched here and decided that I needed to prepare. I heavily front loaded my petition and had a 3 page timeline of our relationship. I decided since we had such a long wait at TSC I would travel as much as I could. By the time the interview came I had been to Vietnam 4 times for a total of 32 days. I brought all the evidence of our trips just in case. They didn't ask me for any pics or evidence. I understand how hard it is to take time off travel and it does get expensive. This is my 2 cents and how I handled 1 trip and filing the I 129. GLTA

[Ash.1101 1,756]

I -really- like the idea of a relationship timeline. I think that would help so many people.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

WOW. I imagine that is quite the story. No offense but I sure as heck hope that doesnt happen to me and if it does can lean on you for insights. I think I'm probably @ 12# of evidence myself.

Sure, holla if you have trouble. Hopefully not, Vietnam is a tough consulate so be over prepared and I suggest you be on the premises for the interview.

[heo luoi 206]

Thanks longrangeshootr, I appreciate it. Curious I know the relationship timeline is pushed on VJ a bit specially in the VN region forums. I guess I still maybe missing this and its significance. It seems to be pretty nuanced to me. Most anyone on here met in say less orthodox ways then conventional otherwise we'd probably not be here. I tried to put a timeline but struggled to what milestones and stuff could really manifest in the conventional sense. I never 'proposed' as I couldn't fly there to simply propose and honestly wouldnt have unless I already knew for sure we were committing to each other one way or the other...etc. We discussed maturely which direction to go k1/k3...so we had a broad general casual dialog about it. We have kind of always openly talked about the possibility of our relationship from the get go I think thats natural for those w/ these type of long distance relationships. Eventually it just finally turns into a commitment and theres non real bullet item I would think, at least min my case.

I guess im pretty curious how you were able to curate a 3 page timeline?? I do agree is a good step for people very early on to get in the practice/habit of but still kind hard to understand how these manifest for some people on here.

For that trip I went one time for ~ 19 days. This way i could have comfortable timing to visit her entire maternal family and some of my extended family ..etc w/o rushing everywhere or such. Had I known my physical attendance at the interview would have been permitted I may have broken those up and came back for it however at the time I was under the impression it wasn't permitted. Must have missed that in all my prelim consults / research or i didnt corroborate it enough. I opted at the the time to make a lengthier trip as, as I'm sure you are aware its a long haul and kinda beats/wears you out...aside from the time off work and fiscal costs.

We filed after our first meeting of 10 days, as I was worried about the Vietnam consulate I researched here and decided that I needed to prepare. I heavily front loaded my petition and had a 3 page timeline of our relationship. I decided since we had such a long wait at TSC I would travel as much as I could. By the time the interview came I had been to Vietnam 4 times for a total of 32 days. I brought all the evidence of our trips just in case. They didn't ask me for any pics or evidence. I understand how hard it is to take time off travel and it does get expensive. This is my 2 cents and how I handled 1 trip and filing the I 129. GLTA

Edited October 31, 2015 by heo luoi

[heo luoi 206]

Much obliged. IV is in 4-5 days, so my presence on prem....wont be happening. Rolling the dice I guess :/ (and Im more a blackjack guy)

Sure, holla if you have trouble. Hopefully not, Vietnam is a tough consulate so be over prepared and I suggest you be on the premises for the interview.

Edited October 31, 2015 by heo luoi