Before you stated on your visa journey, how many people lived together? Or in the same coutry?

[MichelleandCraig 1]

I can see how that could be true because Craig only lived here for 3 months, not years, and we still said all of those same things you're saying....I saw him everywhere around town, in the house, etc etc after he left...even after just that long. He felt some of the same things when he went back to places he had taken me to when I was in England after that...not exactly the same, but I know what you're all saying. M.

[rebeccajo 14]

Yeah Lisa, I can see what you are saying.

I'm just not a big believer in 'living in the past' - and that's my six oclock brain working not phrasing something exactly the best way, btw.

You and I have both been through some very tough stuff, so I think you know what I mean. It's just my style to try and look ahead to what's GOT to be a better day.

I had a very rough weekend - obviously not because I'm apart from my man, as he is here with me - but from some other things we are facing. I've had to hang onto the ravlins of my faith to get through that and I've asked for help with that, here and elsewhere. Saturday morning our future was looking up - a few hours later it was completely yanked out from under us. But I had heard a horrible story that morning about someone who had experienced something much worse, and that story gave me the clarity to see that our situation was nothing compared to what else could be out there.

It's just how I get by. When you are apart from your sweetie, you are kind of 'getting by'. I didn't live with Wes for years - we had a similar 'experiment' as Michelle did. I found it beneficial to try and drink from his cup each day and dream of handing it back to him when he returned. I won't discount the possibility that had we lived together a longer time, it would have been harder for me to look at it that way - to put my emotions in that kind of place. But it's the way I handle my other difficulties. Looking ahead. Looking behind drives me mad.

Edited March 6, 2007 by rebeccajo

[Fandango 1,439]

Yeah Lisa, I can see what you are saying.

I'm just not a big believer in 'living in the past' - and that's my six oclock brain working not phrasing something exactly the best way, btw.

You and I have both been through some very tough stuff, so I think you know what I mean. It's just my style to try and look ahead to what's GOT to be a better day.

I had a very rough weekend - obviously not because I'm apart from my man, as he is here with me - but from some other things we are facing. I've had to hang onto the ravlins of my faith to get through that and I've asked for help with that, here and elsewhere. Saturday morning our future was looking up - a few hours later it was completely yanked out from under us. But I had heard a horrible story that morning about someone who had experienced something much worse, and that story gave me the clarity to see that our situation was nothing compared to what else could be out there.

It's just how I get by. When you are apart from your sweetie, you are kind of 'getting by'. I didn't live with Wes for years - we had a similar 'experiment' as Michelle did. I found it beneficial to try and drink from his cup each day and dream of handing it back to him when he returned. I won't discount the possibility that had we lived together a longer time, it would have been harder for me to look at it that way - to put my emotions in that kind of place. But it's the way I handle my other difficulties. Looking ahead. Looking behind drives me mad.

No Becs, I get what you're sayin here. You know me tho...silver lining and all that. You do what ya gotta do to minimize the pain of being apart. I dont' try to dwell on the past, nor actively think about it...it just will come to me multiple times a day. Every day. When I first got back, it was atrocious. But talkinga bout it doesn't make it worse...sometimes it feels good to acknowledge it, instead of 'sucking it up' and pretending it doesn't exist. Yanno?

I recall this saying my grandfather had...'I once felt sorry for myself for having no shoes, until I met a man with no feet' I keep that in mind and of course, this is not the end of the world. This too shall pass, like everything else.

Anyways, you know I'm thinking about you, and I dunno what you're going thru, nor am I prying...but I just wanted to let you know that you and Wes are in my prayers and if you ever need to talk, you know where I am.

[rebeccajo 14]

Somebody said to me the other day...

Yeah, well, just because you know your troubles are far less than someone elses, it's still no harm in having your turn on top of the crying heap.....

[Marilyn. 340]

Somebody said to me the other day...

Yeah, well, just because you know your troubles are far less than someone elses, it's still no harm in having your turn on top of the crying heap.....

[Saddle Bronc 124]

The question actually could be meaningful for some (if the non-USC started on temp work visa such as H1-b, TN-1, R-1, etc)

[dollface41601 0]

i lived in his country for a year while we did the entire visa process

[wildllama 0]

I guess I'm lucky now, but the hard part is coming. I'm in Japan with my SO and we have been living together for 2 1/2 years. We are filing the I-129F tomorrow and we are moving in two weeks (I'm traveling and she is headed home to wait it out) I'll have 2 months in Nepal to distract me and then a short visit in Japan, but after that I return to the US without her and probably major reverse culture shock. Hopefully we'll only be apart for 4-5 months, but who knows. Like everyone else, we'll do what we have to and hope for the best.

[GrenadianCrix 1]

I am living in his country, was here 6 months before we met. We'll have been together 1 1/2 years when I go back and will have been living together for a year. I have to leave at the end of August, we are hoping the visa process will be done and we'll have his visa in our hot little hands by then. We really want to fly into the states together. We'll get to have our culture shock together.

We are grateful everyday that we get to wait this out together. Reading posts from others that have to wait apart is heartbreaking. For those who are apart, know that we don't take for granted the good fortune of being together. I hope you are together soon enough!

Sue

[chri'stina 190]

no;no

[Dr. Obvious 49]

Yes and yes. I wish there was some way I could stay here during the visa process, but I need to get a Real Job as supporting evidence for the I-864. Can't do that here, so back I go. Plus, might as well. I need to set up a whole new household. I am not exicited about being a single mom for the next few months. Hopefully, a year from now we can say it was all worth it.

[CarolineM 0]

umm kinda.

we lived together three months a year for 5 years Doesn't EXACTLY count...but there you go.

[GabachaYucateca 0]

We have lived together for 5 of our 6.5 years together.

He gets ticked off when I tell him that I'm not quite sure if he'll fit in bed with our dog when he gets here.

I even miss the annoying things he does, like how bad he is in the grocery store with me. Doesn't help me, doesn't answer my questions, and wanders off. I usually find him in produce, eating the grapes.

[antda 13]

Hi Everyone,

Good luck on your immigration journeys. What an interesting message topic and general poll, indeed. In answer to the message topic and poll, yes, my husband and I lived together for years (about two-three years or so), and yes, it was in the same country of Canada. Every few weeks or so, he would drive 3 hrs to visit me in Canada and live with me there for several weeks or months at a time (since I couldn't go to live with him in the USA at the time due to my academic, work, and legal obligations). When I was finally able to visit and live in the USA with him, we simply thought "the heck with this long distance living in Canada thing, let's just get married and live here in the USA". So we did, and the rest is history. We are now happily married and living together in the USA....

The best way to know someone is to "live with them". That's the only way that you can really figure out if the other person is right for you. It's the little things that really make it or break it, and the best way to find out is by simply living together before making a big decision such as marriage...

I agree, too, the long distance thing is hard. But think of it has a temporary thing and that in the end, you'll live happily ever after together...

Ant