November 2015 l i-29f Filers

[kikibooboo 11]

This forum has definitely been in a lull lately. But after we are all married and getting prepared for the AOS, we will be going through this all over again. An update on my situation, I will find out on Sunday when my fiance will be able to arrive. I am hoping for the 10th but we will see. I've been planning on a late April wedding. I am ready!

You're so right, Shawn&Jaque. It makes me tired just to think about this excruciating process we all have to undergo. Ugh

On that note, does anybody have news on Kehinde? Did they get their NOA2 yet??

[njwright911 3]

my fiance's interview date is tomorrow. wish us luck and best to all!

[Greenbaum 12,259]

Sars, on 25 Feb 2016 - 10:32 AM, said:Sars, on 25 Feb 2016 - 10:32 AM, said:

Can I give affidavit of support for my future in laws to visit US during our wedding?

These are the kind of questions that should be asked over in the Filipino sub forum. There are more who may have more experience then the ones who are here for the first time. But here is the answer of what needs to be considered. Just "putting up money" is not going to get them approved. There many factors to consider.

Your parents will have to prove to the satisfaction of the US consular official at the interviewing US embassy/consulate, that they have significant ties to the Phils. such that they would return to the Phils. after their US visit is completed. Such ties could include, property, house ownership, current stable employment, etc. Each visitor visa applicant is presumed to have immigration intent, and must prove that they are not trying to immigrate to the US. A letter from a doctor, any documents from you, or any other invitation-type letter would likely have no positive effect on the visitor visa approval.

Edited February 26, 2016 by Greenbaum

[Sars 1]

These are the kind of questions that should be asked over in the Filipino sub forum. There are more who may have more experience then the ones who are here for the first time. But here is the answer of what needs to be considered. Just "putting up money" is not going to get them approved. There many factors to consider.

Your parents will have to prove to the satisfaction of the US consular official at the interviewing US embassy/consulate, that they have significant ties to the Phils. such that they would return to the Phils. after their US visit is completed. Such ties could include, property, house ownership, current stable employment, etc. Each visitor visa applicant is presumed to have immigration intent, and must prove that they are not trying to immigrate to the US. A letter from a doctor, any documents from you, or any other invitation-type letter would likely have no positive effect on the visitor visa approval.

thanks Green. They're my fiancée parents. I asked this since I knew it'll be hard for them since his mom had a petition in the past but was already abandoned

[Greenbaum 12,259]

thanks Green. They're my fiancée parents. I asked this since I knew it'll be hard for them since his mom had a petition in the past but was already abandoned

Maybe you could sykpe your wedding back home if things dont go as you have planned.

[Jaime & Aisha 46]

Well as soon as I found a good Internet spot I am reporting in; I’m sure my presence wasn’t missed too much. As those of you who I have had the honor to travel down this broken glass path barefooted through the dark forest with know about me is that nothing is easy when I am involved. No matter how much I try to be normal, quiet, with no excitement, the furthest from that point is achieved. And so it was this interview week.

Warning: Before you may start down this novelette let me reassure you the events you are about to be exposed occurred as near exact as I can describe with no added exaggeration. All characters are real, and the situations did happen.

Saturday

Airflight was uneventful. Only one minor stressor at this point, being asked to bring perfume while I am at the airport; not before when I was preparing for the trip. Then to be told to bring something nice. Two things I hate to buy because I’m not very good at it, is women’s clothes and perfume. I texted a message group from work for recommendations. Made the purchase in Frankfurt. Good now all is right in the world.

Sunday

Arrive at the airport, and no one is there to greet me. Now what? I walk down to the sidewalk and wait. 10 minutes and there they are, cousin (lawyer), sister-in-law (to be), Aisha, and her 5-year-old son (my step-son sort of –you’ll understand this part later in this saga).

I arrived on Sunday night, and the interview is on Thursday. So plenty of time to practice interview questions, right? Sunday night is not the right time, as I am beat.

Monday

Morning, I get a text message from a friend in this part of the world telling me not to travel to Ethiopia for a personal reason. Unfortunately I cannot go into more detail about this, but it is important to add as it helps you understand the full scope of pressure I was under at this time which continued up to the point I departed; as stated previously there is no exaggeration only facts stated here.

Niman (son to be), is still being medically reviewed from the week before. Because he is a child there has to be a review done by a child doctor. Cousin is taking care of this item.

Aisha and I go over the “notebook” I prepared. She doesn’t read English, so I arranged it so she didn’t have to read anything. Just hand the table of contents sheet to the interviewer, and they pick what they want to see.

I go over the questions I am expecting, based upon our Visajourney brethren/sistern feedback. Name, date of birth, how we met. Name, no problem. Date of Birth, for 3 people, a problem. Why is that? Because in her world birthdays are not celebrated, so most people do not know their own birthday, never mind someone else’s. I read them to her and say we have time to learn it. Next is “how we met”, as we all know there are always two sides to that story, mine and the correct one (hers). Using the advice given to me by my supervisor, what I had provided in the I-129F was 2 short paragraphs which answered the questions who, what, when, where. She told me she couldn’t remember all of what I read her. I told her she’d didn’t have to (although I am thinking otherwise), only have an understanding. But that ended class for Monday.

Tuesday

Aisha didn’t want to talk about it; stressor starting. I realized that this was the point where her panic hormones where starting to be generated.

Cousin, and I met with Habesha14’s fiancé and step-son at a local restaurant. I handed off his notebook. We went over what to expect at the interview, to include potential questions. As I counseled I felt so knowing, funny guy. He mentioned a paperwork item, which cousin keyed into, and went to address on our paperwork; so be kudos goes out to the Habesha14 clan.

Wednesday

Aisha asked for help on remembering the birthdays. Her cousin tried helping her with the birthday by suggesting she now learned them using the Ethiopian calendar, since she was expecting to be using an interpreter for the interview. I immediately recognized this as a bad move, as it was a last minute change for her. So very gingerly I course corrected back to normal ‘Gregorian’ calendar. I also threw in the date we met, just so she would hear it. She was in the excited emotional stage, with anticipation of approval. Niman, son to be, did a little dance while he was saying he was glad he did not have to answer these questions. He later told cousin that if the embassy asks him his name he would tell them, and he would tell them who his father’s (me) name. Now is a good point in this to detour slightly.

Aisha’s son Niman was born at home, and like his mother did not have a birth certificate. When we got engaged, cousin (lawyer) went to secure the birth certificates. For Niman, under 5 years old, a normal one could be registered. It was set up with one parent, and for his name it listed it in the cultural use of:

First Name, Father’s First Name, Father’s Last Name. The thing was Father’s names used were mine.

When I was told about this, after the fact, I was both honored, as well as shocked. How was I going to explain this to the Embassy? Surely they will question it.

But for Niman I am his father. He was told this 1 1/2 years ago, and he accepts it. When asked by his friends, he tells them my name.

If curious about Aisha’s non-birth certificate final resolution, here it is. USA, and most international laws, allow for a certified letter from mom saying the birth occurred, and a letter from the government agency saying they have no record of the birth. Certified letter from mom is similar to a notarized letter. As back up to that a letter from another family member that was present or knew directly of the birth. For Aisha’s letter from mom, Cousin was able to secure registration/certification from the national ministry. So now this single letter is the official birth certificate, which cannot be disputed by the US government, according to Cousin.

Move back to present. Aisha said she was prepared to answer this question. So I did not ask. Sometimes you simply have to have faith. And faith, even at its lowest point, is the driving force that propelled the rest of this venture; venture I speak of in its wildest and far-reaching form.

I was asked what time we need to be at the embassy. Ahhh now we are back in my world of controlled schedule, checklists, etc. I proclaim we need to be there 2 hours in advance, which would be 9AM. Of course everyone looks at me with blank stares, this is still Ethiopia. I collect myself, and proclaim once again, we need to leave two hours in advance. Which now is accepted—negotiation victory.

Black Thursday

I did not sleep at all Wednesday night, zero, nada, zilch. I went over how many times in mind the date we met, and a couple of other important dates to go over with Aisha in the morning. Also to let her know not to volunteer that I have provided her financial support; this point I learned from Visajourney threads. All of which say this is the kiss of death. Admit only if asked, otherwise keep quiet.

7:15

Take a shower, and dress.

8:15

Aisha wakes and takes a shower.

8:50

Recall we are supposed to leave at 9, Aisha asks if she can go to the beauty salon to fix her hair. Ugh where is my paper bag. Calmly, I ask how long will it take. She says fast, it is close. As I want her to feel good about herself, positive self-image, I say okay, but please fast. Off she goes.

9:05

Cousin arrives.

9:15

Aisha is back, the beauty salon is booked. Now she asks me what clothes to wear---nooooooo. I know this is a no win situation. I tell her. She doesn’t like it, as I know in advance. And I could feel a spark in the air, and not a good one. She tries on both dresses she had me bring to her for this occasion, and doesn’t like any of them…. where is my paper bag is all I can think? She puts on jeans and a t-shirt, I am now speaking as a man not a fiancé, and she looks great. But no that is no good.

She is frustrated; we are at the breaking point now. A cosmic melt down of panic, and fear. She throws herself on the bed and proclaims that she is not going. I stand there quietly in shock, and disbelief. My wildest nightmare is happening. Her cousin is talking to her in their language. As foreign sounding as it is I understand what he is saying. The more he talks the more set she becomes. Finally he goes outside. I am standing there at a loss for words. She looks at me and says to not stand there, because she is not going. I sit down and try my best calm supportive speech. She says no. I point out the obvious that if she doesn’t go then we can’t be together. And her response is we are done. Telling me to go find someone else. Breakup. So I step outside, near crushed, near is operative word here.

A few minutes later cousin tells me Aisha is asking for me. I go back in and she asks me if I have seen her hair tie (whatever it is) . She is going. For those who care, she put on the black dress I brought, a white jacket, and a hair scarf, which looked smashing.

10:15 AM

We go out front, and cousin is calling taxi. We are so far off schedule that all I have is faith that we will be there before 11AM. This already feels like a reality show, we only have minutes to complete.

There are no major highways in Addis, and the traffic can at times be bad. But this time we are moving along at a good pace. Aisha says she is going, but she knows that the embassy is ‘no good’. It is no problem that they say no. She is riding low on self-doubt, panic, and fear. I keep quiet.

10:32 AM

I hear a flop, flop, flop, flop. Instinctively I know that sound. Flat tire. My thought, there is no way, I have taken taxies in different 3^rd world countries and never had a flat tire. And not when we are running so late. He pulls over, and confirms back left tire is flat. My thought is we get another taxi, but I think if I say this that I would be chastised. To my surprise Aisha tells cousin to get us another taxi. He goes, and finally secures one. The taxi pulls up and then other taxi drivers come over. They are visibly annoyed and speaking in their language. t I know what is being said, ‘let this guy change the tire’. There is a minor riot of taxi drivers as we get into the new taxi. Aisha pays the other guy something. Then off we go.

10:40AM

Within a few minutes I am thinking we would have been better off waiting for the other guy. I am absolutely sure this taxi really does have gerbils spinning on a wheel as its engine. It had near no acceleration, and even less torque no matter what gear the driver put the car. I watched bicyclers’ whiz by us.

All was surreal, as if I had fallen into a Twilight Zone episode, in which I would never wake.

11:03AM

We arrive. We go straight to the consulate security entrance, luckily there were few people in line. I hand the notebook, and photo book to Aisha, and say the date we met one more time. Cousin, sister-in-law, and I go across the street to a café, and I am thinking I should have made sure she made it inside.

11:08AM

Cousin gets a phone call. He runs off. Coming back he tells me he forgot to give her their passports.

11:15AM

Cousin gets a phone call. Aisha is out. We go out to meet her on the road. She is over the hedge upset. She tosses the notebook on the ground (scattering documents), and says that the security check-in person is working and didn’t have time to look through the book for the documents needed. Also the passport photos did not have enough of a white background. I am sure we are done at this point. My faith was extinguished. How could we possibly recover from this, as it would require us to do the pictures again, and reschedule the interview? Okay, so I was being USA practical. Cousin, being Ethiopian practical, is talking to Aisha, as we walk fast down the road to a passport photo shop near by. They go in and get the photos retaken, and we head back.

11:30AM

This time I go to the checkpoint with her. Being as calm, and charming (what I think that means) I introduce myself to the security check-in lady. I ask for her help. Make a joke about us interviewing for a fiancé visa, and hopefully if she would allow it for my fiancé and I to be married in the USA. Security lady takes her time to help. My problem was I ordered the documents as I felt were logical, not as prescribed in the checklist. Then we got to the birth certificates, and we didn’t have copies—I missed that completely. Security check-in lady says no problem copier across the street. Cousin runs over and makes the copies. We hand the packet over. Security check-in lady gives Aisha a pass number. She goes in with the photo-book and messed up notebook.

We go back to the restaurant.

12:20

Aisha comes out. She has to aura of calm. She has been rescheduled. Noooo is my thought, but then she shows the paper and it is for 1pm. I forgot, lunch for government workers. So we go and sit down, and I straighten the notebook.

1:00

I walk her up to the check-in. Security lady immediately hands her the pass number, and she/Niman, go in.

1:55

We see her walk out. My heart drops. Faith is at near zero level at this point. Even if it feels like all is good. I tell Cousin, all I want to know is that she doesn’t have the passports, that the embassy kept them. He asks why? Because that means it is approved.

As we walk up she seems in a good mood, and speaks to cousin. I ask, do you have your passports. She says no, the Embassy kept them. At that very moment, the whole world stopped. Quiet literally; there was no sound beyond the beat of my heart, no air movement, all frozen, then as soon as it stopped life returned. Then it felt as if a gush, or release of a bad spirit left my body, and replaced with pure joy and happiness. Aisha said that the consulate officer said it was approved.

Post-Interview

Now we need to talk about what happened during the interview. Before I start I want it stated as clearly as possible that no matter what you read in these Visajourney forums (threads) about what to say, or do in order to be approved, well from personal experience hogwash. None of the experts know anything. You just do the best you can do, and leave the rest up to God, or your faith as you see it.

Aisha/Niman were let in and sat down. They called her number. The interpreter was there with the Consulate Officer. But Aisha never used the interpreter. God stepped in and gave her the confidence to speak in English. She said she understood everything, and could answer. Another item of co-incidence or divine intervention, the night before Aisha met a Taxi driver who told her that her English was very good, which acted as a 3^rd party confidence booster.

Aisha was asked her name, and son’s name. There was no question about birthdays.

She was asked how we met. She gave them a watered down reader’s digest version of my watered down reader’s digest version, without dates.

She was asked how long we have known each other. She did get that one.

Asked how many times we have seen each other. Nailed that one too; so she was listening to me as I was counseling.

Then the major “never ever do” according to the experts. She said, with out being asked, that since we have been together that I have been providing her with all her financial support. Ugh, this is the kiss of death. It is supposed to imply, once again from the experts, that she is only involved with me for the money. So never ever say this, but Aisha did because I forgot to tell her not to volunteer this fact.

Asked my job position. Very high-level title.

Asked what my company does. Nailed it.

Where do I live? Slider, as I thought she couldn’t remember the name of the little town, but explained that I had moved. And said she didn’t remember the name—good answer though.

Have I been married before? Yes, but now divorced.

Ex-Wife name? Do not know.

What languages do I speak? English only. Zero points, I speak 4, which is red flag for not knowing much about me.

Then the line of questions I knew, but hoped would not, happen. Why is Niman named after me. Because his father left, and since we are going to be married that she felt it was only right.

The CO asked Niman his name. He could not see above the counter, but stated it completely. She (CO was a she) asked who his father is, and he stated my name.

At this point Aisha was asked for any photographs. Visajourney to the rescue. The small photobook, 5x7, had key 20 pictures that yours truly picked out. It easily fit through the hole in the glass.

The CO asked Niman, who was now sitting on the counter, to name the people in the photo she showed him, which he did. Then she asked him about the two people in another photo. This photo is of Niman and I at the Ethiopian national lion zoo, I am sitting on a wall and he is standing next to me bent down kissing me on my cheek. I picked this one picture for the emotional heart touching effect. Niman said it was his father and him. She asked where the picture was taken, and he said in Addis. What is of interest here is that Niman normally is very shy, and never speaks to people, so why did he step up to the plate at such a critical time?

The CO then told Aisha that the visas were approved, and would be ready in 7 business days. Aisha translated to Niman, who while sitting there in front of the CO gave Aisha a high five.

Conclusion

I do not know exactly what the conclusion should be for the events that transpired. An obvious conclusion is a reaffirmation that the more we think we can control events the more delusional we really are in regards to the world. We can only control to a point that little sphere around ourselves, but once it projects outside that boundary nothing can be predicated. Reminds me of the Jurassic Park, ‘theory of chaos’. What has it been said about battle plans, that they are only good up until the first shot is fired? Perhaps it is also a conclusion to remain clear of me, as you too can get washed into this world of crazy coincidences, and situations which normally never occur.

Niman’s input into the interview was completely unexpected, and unplanned. Did it make a difference?

Aisha told me later that during her panic attack that Niman told her to stay, but he was going to the embassy to get his visa so he could go with his father. Did it make the difference?

My answer is I do not know.

Nothing out of the notebook that Cousin and I spent days and hours to prepare were ever seen. Maybe it was because most of that information was ‘front loaded’?

Was my never-ending attempt to have every little item documented, and addressed of any benefit? When I missed the human element of counseling Aisha? VJ forum has been constantly on point in this item, for the fiancé to be part of the process.

But in the end, I messed up, and yet it didn’t matter. Aisha had a world event melt down panic attack. The forces of the world were playing practical jokes on us up until the end with flats, squirrel powered taxies, so-called improper passport photos, forewarning of being in Ethiopia, etc. And yet through it all, the final result, which is all, that really matters is Approved.

Edited February 26, 2016 by Jaime & Aisha

[tyler007 26]

WOW just WOW.

Ok so obviously this was just the DREAM sequence now tell us what REALLY happened.

Seriously that was so crazy. a flat tire?

I love the part about the bicycle going by faster it's like when you are at the grocery store in a rush to check out and you are in the short line but the other longer lines are just moving WAY faster...

Excuse my ignorance but how in the last 4 months did I completely miss from all your post that AISHA had a son?

Is this something new you had not previously shared because I don't remember you ever posting about K-2 and the like.

My gal Jona has a son as well age 4 who will be coming with her this April to Seattle.

This is just an amazing story I can't tell how happy I am for you 3 and glad we are on the same thread.

Finally this part literally brought a tear to my eye.

Aisha told me later that during her panic attack that Niman told her to stay, but he was going to the embassy to get his visa so he could go with his father.

How precious.

Well enjoy the rest of your trip.

I've not been around too much on the board lately are you bringing them back with you I assume?

Take care Jaime

Tyler

[kikiyut 1]

Jaime- congratulations!

"either everything goes according to plan, or there is a story". in this case, a great story with a happy ending....and the best is this is just the beginning of a longer and more beautiful story of you and her (and your son)

cheers!

[KASH2011 382]

Well as soon as I found a good Internet spot I am reporting in; ......

The CO then told Aisha that the visas were approved, and would be ready in 7 business days. Aisha translated to Niman, who while sitting there in front of the CO gave Aisha a high five.

............ And yet through it all, the final result, which is all, that really matters is Approved.

Congrats!

[habesha14 0]

Jaime, Congratulations! What a story - I would have lost it with the squirrel taxi. Thank you for the kudos! We were over-prepared as well, but it doesn't matter because we got APPROVED!

Good luck to everyone with upcoming interviews!

[Shawn&Jaque 11]

Congrats Jaime. This shows how stressful this can be for the fiance as well. When you said that she said she wasn't going, I knew she was going to change her mind lol. And as for that cousin of hers, you need to buy that guy a Rolex or something.

[YecaCruz 379]

Way to go Jaime! That's great!

Uff, well. I haven't filed AOS yet. Waiting on his SSN to come in the mail so I can add him to my accounts (Bank won't do it without). Hopefully will git'r done next week. Everything is ready to send EXCEPT this last part. all for the SSN! I also decided to go to a civil surgeon for the I-693 for a meager $50 cost, which is scheduled for Monday the 29th. I figure it's worth the trouble to avoid an RFE since we are in a state of waiting anyway.

I figure that if I have enough proof of common residence and established relationship I'm hoping that they will see an interview as not necessary.

Hm! We'll see, I s'pose

Edited February 26, 2016 by JJGussiaas (Gush)

[ERTexas 2]

Congrats Jaime!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

[njwright911 3]

Congrats jaime!!

My fiancé just got approved to on her interview!!! They said two weeks or so before visa in hand!

[sam700 3]

omg what a story james , congrats friend :joy: :joy: :joy: