Separation desparation

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Well, I think it's clear in the context in which it was written that the QFT mean 'quoted for truth'. I think it's also clear of Swirl's demeanor and posting style that she is not a vulgar person, therefore these two factors should have given her the benefit of the doubt to not think so poorly of her.

Furthermore, you may feel you had the 'class' to initially ignore it, but sadly you did not have the class (by your own standards and admission) to continue to do so.

When I have a reason to believe I'm getting sweetness and light from her, I'll let you know. :wink:

[peezey 0]

QTF doesn't only mean "Quoting for truth", it also means something vulger and more fitting to RS's expressed sentiments toward me. I can tell I'm being baited, but I'm not biting.

I know you think everything is about you, but since QFT was posted in reply to LisaD's post, why do you think it's something vulgar directed at you? Figures.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Women are allowed to be more like men without the stigma attached to men who are perceived to be more feminine. Some women compensate for this imbalance by emphasizing their "male" traits and abilities. On the other hand, some women's natural abilities are considered to be more "male" and they suffer for those, as well.

Right. So strong, capable professional women are never labeled "bi!ch" "lesbian" "hard azz" or any other non-feminine moniker as a way to demean their perceived "male" traits?

And why is it men are finding non-American wives who might be more traditionally feminine in their traits and their activities?

In my experience, women do this to women more than do men. Some women are threatened by capable, confident, independent women.

What would you define as "traditionally feminine"?

[peezey 0]

Women are allowed to be more like men without the stigma attached to men who are perceived to be more feminine. Some women compensate for this imbalance by emphasizing their "male" traits and abilities. On the other hand, some women's natural abilities are considered to be more "male" and they suffer for those, as well.

Right. So strong, capable professional women are never labeled "bi!ch" "lesbian" "hard azz" or any other non-feminine moniker as a way to demean their perceived "male" traits?

And why is it men are finding non-American wives who might be more traditionally feminine in their traits and their activities?

In my experience, women do this to women more than do men. Some women are threatened by capable, confident, independent women.

What would you define as "traditionally feminine"?

In my professional work experience, it is not women who do this to women at all.

"traditionally feminine" is a term I threw out there, and not necessarily something I adhere to or agree with, but I am referring to things we are talking about here.

[Fandango 1,439]

I am so proud to be a woman!

At the same time, what that means to me is doing anything I put my mind to....I try not to get bogged down with 'male/female' labeling of activities...but as I'm an only child and quite close to my father, I have done many things which would be considered traditionally 'male'. However, I would be just as proud to change my oil as I would be to knit a shirt....both are outside of my comfort zone (lol) and for me, the reward comes with mastering something I'm not well versed in.

I think proud women (and men) for that matter should just be proud to be a capable person no matter what they choose to do & stop worrying about defining things.

I do find there are many women like that (as you mentioned above), and it seems they hurt women more than help because they are perpetrating the 'women knitting at home with friends and crying whilst discussing their periods' stereotype.

On occasion, we find common ground, Lisa, and this is one example of that.

With all due respect I would have to disagree, as you've stated more than once how you're 'more like a man' in some regards.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I said I am perceived to speak like a man because I don't use a lot of superlatives and qualifiers in my speech, as many women do. There are about 2% of women who have tested as having more traits and abilities normally perceived as male, and yes, I am among that stat. I'm not like a man, but my communication style is viewed by women in that way. It has a lot to do with how women here react to me, while I do quite well with men, and it does act to set me apart from many women. I actually have tried to inject superlatives and qualifiers (holding my nose as I do) to offset this factor, but not so much anymore. Speaking of categorizing women as hard azzes and b!ches, the 2% is subjected to that often.

[Fandango 1,439]

I said I am perceived to speak like a man because I don't use a lot of superlatives and qualifiers in my speech, as many women do. There are about 2% of women who have tested as having more traits and abilities normally perceived as male, and yes, I am among that stat. I'm not like a man, but my communication style is viewed by women in that way. It has a lot to do with how women here react to me, while I do quite well with men, and it does act to set me apart from many women. I actually have tried to inject superlatives and qualifiers (holding my nose as I do) to offset this factor, but not so much anymore. Speaking of categorizing women as hard azzes and b!ches, the 2% is subjected to that often.

Have you ever considered the fact that people react to you because of WHAT you say instead of HOW you say it? See I find that you like to alienate people with what you say, then hang your hat on what a pariah you are because you're in the '2%'. Sounds like a martyr complex to me.

See, I find your whole schpeil up here to be nothing more than 'lookit me, I'm so unique and extraordinary' whilst TRULY extraordinary people don't have to label themselves as it goes without saying.

Key words: goes without saying, lolz

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I responded to your post in the best manner I know how. That's all I can do. It's not about martyrdom or labeling. Other people speak from their experience, and so do I. How you weigh it is up to you. I don't take any responsibility for that, nor do I have to. I'm not going to apologize for that. We can continue to discuss the subject with full knowledge that you see me that way. I'm only interested in the intellectual exchange.

Edited March 3, 2007 by Green-eyed girl

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

GEG enjoys having this conversation. The rest of you are willing participants

[Sofiyya 1,687]

GEG enjoys having this conversation. The rest of you are willing participants

I enjoy intellegent discourse and sharing civil view points. I'm not sure why that's so offensive to some.

[KarenCee 3]

GEG enjoys having this conversation. The rest of you are willing participants

I enjoy intellegent discourse and sharing civil view points. I'm not sure why that's so offensive to some.

Hmmm....could it be that you seem to "look down" from your lofty height at the rest of us?

Aye Gupt, we are willing participants. I enjoy a good debate as well as the next one. Livens up the time while I wait for my husband to come home from work. However, it doesn't take a college graduate to know when they are being spoken to condescendingly.

BTW GEG, you misspelled a word. Intelligent. Just in case you want to work on that small item.

Edited March 3, 2007 by KarenCee

[doodlebug 3]

Hasn't been that long for me yet but here is my experience, for what it's worth.

me:

wk 1 after leaving him: depressed and inconsolable for about a week

wk 2 after leaving him: light depression

thereafter - during pms: cry periodically (no pun intended;) )

thereafter - not in pms: high level of acceptance that jack sh!t can be done about the situation. no crying involved.

him:

month 1 after my leaving: depressed and inconsolable

thereafter - when work is not busy: cry periodically

thereafter - when work is busy: high level of acceptance that jack sh!t can be done about the situation. no crying involved.

What helps me get through the really bad moments is the fact that I have a house to keep up and two daughters to take care of.

What helps him get through the really bad moments is the task of making sure his sisters will be well taken care of once he moves.

Now, back to the bickering...... :energetic:

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Just checking to see if anyone noticed.

I'm sorry, but all I get from the whining about me is that there are some whiny people here who want to control how I post and what I say. I not ceding that, so you will simply have to continue seeing me as condescending It pains you more than it does me.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Hey, Gupt! I see you down there. Join in. You got any complaints to share? Do I offend you too?

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Hmmm....could it be that you seem to "look down" from your lofty height at the rest of us?

Just caught this. "Seem" is about you, not about me. Work on that.