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Husband gone on a trip back home

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
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fcuking hell...

now tell us what you really think :D

* ~ * Charles * ~ *
 

I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy.

 

USE THE REPORT BUTTON INSTEAD OF MESSAGING A MODERATOR!

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I like this line from your post:

Because, after a while, you get real. That doesn't mean you don't miss each other, but the kids, the schedule, the demands of life build in practicality. I traveled alone lot during my first marriage, so did he. Life fills the spaces in your life, and you learn to cope.

I was married nearly 30 years. Just an observation based on experience that has nothing to do with levels of love, missing or anything else other than you just learn to deal with the absenses. You have to or you crumble. Crumbling in marriage is a bad thing.

If getting "real" means having to accept long absences of my husband, then I will never get "real". I miss sharing my day with him and just having his presence around. The funny thing is that everyone is still in shock that I am this way, including myself. I was totally independent and enjoyed my own time before I met my husband. I had even been in some relationships but still enjoyed A LOT of space. It is different now that I have met my soulmate (and I truly see Hicham as that). I feel we were separated for ALL of my life and I really don't want to have to spend any more time apart. That being said, it was me who pushed him to travel. One of the things I love about him the most is how he feels for his family. It has been a long time since he has seen them. Since his parents are no longer around, he needs to go back and see his younger siblings and make sure everything is going ok for them.

T,

Straying here, but I am so glad you have what you have with Hicham. I know how much you give of yourself in other realms of your life. (F)

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I was married nearly 30 years. Just an observation based on experience that has nothing to do with levels of love, missing or anything else other than you just learn to deal with the absenses. You have to or you crumble. Crumbling in marriage is a bad thing.

It sure is.

I'm another veteran of a long term marriage.

In practicality, as time passes you allow for the 'inconveniences' of separation. You start to allow for all sorts of 'little' things. Working longer hours. Commitments to other social groups.

IMHO, that's when it sometimes gets hard to see a different type of crumbling. The kind that happens when people think they have forever.

I guess that's why I kind of like Pedroh's philosophy. He feels it's best for him and Laura to travel back together because she likes to go. To him, that's just as important as his own desire to visit back home.

One of the most difficult parts of being married 'forever' is learning to love each other fully and yet still remain the individual that your partner was attracted to in the first place. Pedroh feels this is one thing he wants to share with Laura. I'm betting a big-screen TV and a few World of Warcraft games that he's got some other areas of his life where he's an individual.

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I guess that's why I kind of like Pedroh's philosophy. He feels it's best for him and Laura to travel back together because she likes to go. To him, that's just as important as his own desire to visit back home.

One of the most difficult parts of being married 'forever' is learning to love each other fully and yet still remain the individual that your partner was attracted to in the first place. Pedroh feels this is one thing he wants to share with Laura. I'm betting a big-screen TV and a few World of Warcraft games that he's got some other areas of his life where he's an individual.

I have no problem with a philosophy like that. It's just when it's put forth like 'oh you miss home more than you love me' TO ME it does seems kinda unfair...

I don't think that D and I would really ever do the seperate travel thing...and going home for him will be such a chew that I'm sure we'll do them together. BUT if he were really struggling and whatnot and there was some unforseen reason why I couldn't go...I would encourage him to go alone. I wouldn't like it, but I would. After all, marriage is about compromise and sacrificing for each other, and I would totally sacrifice a trip there (even though it's my second home) for my husband's well being and happiness. And wouldn't see his homesickness as having some sort of inverse relationship to how much he loved me or who he wanted to be with.

And THAT'S the only real distinction I was making earlier.

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My husband's plane took off about 30 minutes ago for his trip back home to visit family and friends in Morocco. I wish I could have gone but work and finances really didn't allow it. I am so happy for him to get to spend some time with his loved ones. However, I feel a little sad. We do a lot together and I cannot remember what I ever did by myself before I met him. Two weeks is going to feel like forever (especially on the weekends). So...have you experienced this before with your spouse? What did you do to keep yourself occupied?

Twila

P.S. I do have a few things in mind...going to the movies, some retail therapy, etc. I just am curious how some others dealt.

Hey Twila,

A year ago Sujeet went home to India for 2 weeks. He is leaving in less than 3 weeks from now(March 23) for another visit, this time gone for 2 1/2 weeks. He hasn't seen his family for a year, which is sad for him IMO.

The way I passed my time when he was gone was to keep busy. I was more busy than I would have even liked! :P We were in the process of buying a house last year while he was gone and I was the one getting the inspection done, then our car broke, and it was insane and passed by quickly. I did miss him though!

My family is close by so I just hang out with them tons when he is gone.

This time while he is gone, I am going with my sister and parents on a 5 day trip to Alabama to visit there and investigate stuff(we're moving there in the future). So it will help some of the time pass quickly.

I am a sissy when it comes to certain things. I have never lived on my own so I do not like the idea of sleeping alone at my house. That is a complication when Sujeet is away. I don't care if it makes me sound like a baby, if it's only me at home I am not sleeping here alone. My sister or good friend will sleepover some of the time, and I might go stay with one of them some of the time. It's fun though. (Once I have kids I know I'll get over it, something about being a protective mama lol).

Because it was said that when the immigrant SO goes to their home they just have fun...Believe me, Sujeet is not having "fun time" only when he goes to India. He has to do a lot of things to help his family. It's not vacation for him, it's more tiring than the normal daily routine here, combined with a very big time difference. He should get to take a real vacation after getting home from such a far and tiring trip! :) He is going to be way too busy in India doing things that are not fun. It is not possible for me to go there with him now for financial and logistical reasons.

Edited by stina&suj

Married since 9-18-04(All K1 visa & GC details in timeline.)

Ishu tum he mere Prabhu:::Jesus you are my Lord

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What happens if you HAVE to travel alone cause your husband is not allowed into the UK like mine.. I would LOVE the luxery of hubby coming with me!! But i did go home alone, enjoyed it and will be doing it again in the future!

We are all different!

K1

September 15 - 2005: NOA1

October: Waiting

November: Waiting

December: In Security checks

January 2006: Waiting

February: Waiting..Contacted Congress

March 4th: APPROVED

March 17th: NVC posted file to London

March 20th: London Receives file

March 29th: Receive package 3

April 13th: London Receives package

April 19th: Medical - June 13th: INTERVIEW......APPROVED!!!!

June 20th: ARRIVE IN USA

Time taken for whole process 9 Months

~~~~~ * ~~~~~

AOS

October: 13th: Sent off AOS Package

November 3rd: NOA1

November 14th: Snail mail ~ NOA1 ~ Case moved to the CSC for faster processing.

November 14th : CSC has petition for me and my daughter.

December 14th: Biometrics completed.

January 17th: APPROVED AOS!

January 22nd: Green card arrives in the mail:))

Time taken for AOS - 3.5 Months

Finished for 2 years.

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Australia
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We were looking at this over xmas. Stew's sister was getting married and we really didnt' have the funds to send BOTH of us...so he was going to go for two weeks to Australia and I'd stay home. Now, I was going to miss him terribly! BUT we have a good relationship where we have lots of together time, but I also have my own life, and he also has his...so when he was going to be gone, I was fine. Again, i'd miss him terribly, but I had my own life to keep living and my own things to do.

It was a moot point and someone helped us with the tix, and we both went...but this falls back into the whole thing about how I, personally, think that you need a life outside of your husband...just for reasons like this...

A little independence is nice.

Finally finished with immigration in 2012!

familyxmas-1-1.jpg

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Netherlands
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I guess it all depends on the situation, and mine is a bit different. I am the USC but all my family is in Puerto Rico. So I have to visit them every year and stay for a week or two. My SO's family is in the Netherlands but he hasn't moved here yet. I guess we will have to deal with this issue in the near future ;)

Now (I think) I understand what pedroh was saying, on where is not fair that he knows that if his wife enjoys to go to his hometown and he feels somewhat selfish not to go with her. That's a good point. But what I was saying was that, as the USC, I would not hold my SO from going to NL if we cannot both afford to go. We would love to, but I am not sure if it would be possible because I also have my own share of plane tickets to shed to see my family. But, we'll deal with it and play the lottery to see if we can win, get rich, and afford it all! :P

Separations are painful but sometimes necessary. I have been married before and a li'l separation and a change of routine it's always good... But that's my opinion, it doesn't mean I don't love my SO, is just I like my own space sometimes. :thumbs:

Our AOS Journey

July 18, 07: AOS/EAD sent to Chicago

Aug 03, 07: Received Biometrics appt. letter

Aug 23, 07: Biometrics

Aug 30, 07: Transfer to CSC letter dated 8/27

Sept 19, 07: EAD Approval email

Sept 29, 07: EAD card Received

Oct 09, 07: AOS Approved

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Australia
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Separations are painful but sometimes necessary. I have been married before and a li'l separation and a change of routine it's always good... But that's my opinion, it doesn't mean I don't love my SO, is just I like my own space sometimes. :thumbs:

I haven't been married before, but I agree with this 100%

Finally finished with immigration in 2012!

familyxmas-1-1.jpg

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Filed: Other Country: Canada
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My hubby and I have not been apart for more then a day since I moved here....

he always tells me that I can go back home to visit my family whenever I want but I know it would be so hard to leave him behind...

Luckily for us my family payed for some plane tickets so both of us could fly up to Canada... we leave next week Friday :)...

Maybe sometime in the future I would be able to go without him but I can't see that happening any time soon....

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Now, I'm in a really bad mood (not tangential to this thread, see further).

For (the cancelled) trip, I had also booked Pras and her brother on internal flights (Mumbai - Begumpet) with Kingfisher. When I contacted them to cancel these and refund, they claimed they could only refund the tax portion of Rs. 1,125 as this was booked "best fare available".

Amendments & Cancellations
  • Kingfisher Class ("KF Class") Guests can amend or cancel tickets up to 1 hour prior to departure.
  • Cancellation charges of Rs. 500/- per sector per guest is applicable for Kingfisher Class
  • If cancellation done within 1 hr of departure (in case of KF Class) only taxes will be refunded.
  • Seat release charge due to a rebooking (in KF Class) is Rs.200 per sector per guest plus the applicable difference in fare.
  • No rerouting is allowed.

  • On cancellation of a booking, the refund will be processed in the same medium in which the ticket was purchased, and through the point of sale.

(and I riposted KF that it owes Rs. 10,100 as refund)

2005/07/10 I-129F filed for Pras

2005/11/07 I-129F approved, forwarded to NVC--to Chennai Consulate 2005/11/14

2005/12/02 Packet-3 received from Chennai

2005/12/21 Visa Interview Date

2006/04/04 Pras' entry into US at DTW

2006/04/15 Church Wedding at Novi (Detroit suburb), MI

2006/05/01 AOS Packet (I-485/I-131/I-765) filed at Chicago

2006/08/23 AP and EAD approved. Two down, 1.5 to go

2006/10/13 Pras' I-485 interview--APPROVED!

2006/10/27 Pras' conditional GC arrives -- .5 to go (2 yrs to Conditions Removal)

2008/07/21 I-751 (conditions removal) filed

2008/08/22 I-751 biometrics completed

2009/06/18 I-751 approved

2009/07/03 10-year GC received; last 0.5 done!

2009/07/23 Pras files N-400

2009/11/16 My 46TH birthday, Pras N-400 approved

2010/03/18 Pras' swear-in

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As long as the LORD's beside me, I don't care if this road ever ends.

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