Husband gone on a trip back home

[Caladan 19]

Consider that not everyone's family is just a trip to Mexico. If you or your SO's family is in Australia, for example, that's a hefty plane ticket, plus considerable time off (since you don't just go for a weekend.)

I'm not judging you for your opinion; what I said is pretty mild in comparison to "buhuhu" and "selfish" and "whining" and "make up your mind you either want to be here with your SO or you don't."

[Sofiyya 1,687]

In a few more years, this won't be an issue.

[MichelleandCraig 1]

Why's that, GEG? ...and no, I'm not 'picking at you'...I really don't know what you mean by that.

--back atcha, Presidente. Who on here hasn't both annoyed someone else and taken something the wrong way at one point or another? M.

Edited March 4, 2007 by MichelleandCraig

[pedroh 21]

pedroh, you seem to be complaining that people are human beings.

Indeed. You can't ask people to stop loving their family and home just because they also love their spouse. It's not an either/or situation. If I were living outside my home country, wanted to go visit my family, and my husband said "not until we have the money to both go," I would probably flip a sh!t

so if ur husband didn't want u to go by urself, u'd still go? just askin'

[MichelleandCraig 1]

It's me again. I'm not answerin' for Alex,but I'll answer the same question for me. I *SO* would if I was the non-USC. I love my husband *so* much, but that doesn't mean I stop loving my family....and it's not always a matter of 2/3 months of saving...some of us are better off than others..some worse. We're one of the worse currently, but working on that.... It's a big deal for us to take plane fare and etc etc etc that comes with traveling out of our income. If this situation was reversed, I would definitely come see my family without Craig even if he didn't want that....*depending* on how much longer I would have to wait for us both to go,etc. Obviously a month or three doesn't make much difference, but if I was really missing them and it was gonna be another six months plus, I'd have to go. Anyway, most spouses would understand I think. I know Craig would. M.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Why's that, GEG? ...and no, I'm not 'picking at you'...I really don't know what you mean by that.

--back atcha, Presidente. Who on here hasn't both annoyed someone else and taken something the wrong way at one point or another? M.

Because, after a while, you get real. That doesn't mean you don't miss each other, but the kids, the schedule, the demands of life build in practicality. I traveled alone lot during my first marriage, so did he. Life fills the spaces in your life, and you learn to cope.

I like your last line. Can you send one at me, too

Edited March 4, 2007 by Green-eyed girl

[MichelleandCraig 1]

Ok, again..I'm not purposely being obtuse, but I still don't get it...are you meaning that after they've been together a few years it won't seem as important anymore and they won't miss each other as much when they're apart, etc etc? Because that truly depends on the couple and their personalities...some like to spend almost all of their free time together, and others like loads of personal time. Neither is wrong, but that's up to each couple. I don't get "in a few years it won't matter"....the OP was only saying her hubby was goign to be gone for a 2 week visit. I'm confused. Ah well...happens with me sometimes! What did you want me to send at you now? M.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I like this line from your post:

Who on here hasn't both annoyed someone else and taken something the wrong way at one point or another? M.

I was married nearly 30 years. Just an observation based on experience that has nothing to do with levels of love, missing or anything else other than you just learn to deal with the absenses. You have to or you crumble. Crumbling in marriage is a bad thing.

[MichelleandCraig 1]

Ok, see what you mean. About the line I wrote, I have for SURE done both on here...several times. That other thread isn't one of those times though. M.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

We disagree, but that's nothing new. Is boredom analygous to being drunk? We could blame it on that

Edited March 4, 2007 by Green-eyed girl

[MichelleandCraig 1]

I don't see how needy can be considered inoffensive, but here we go ina circle again,so I'll just say ok you're right (or whatever) on that one, ok? Btw, I don't think you really need to get *that* childish, do you? Drunk? I'm not opposed to drinking...in fact, I've quite been craving a good 'bender' lately...but I have had a *few* drinks *once* in the last year 1/2....just because I haven't felt like drinking in particular....so no. I wasn't drunk. M.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I did use the word "analygous" . . .

[Fandango 1,439]

fcuking hell...

[tnh9479 1]

I like this line from your post:

Because, after a while, you get real. That doesn't mean you don't miss each other, but the kids, the schedule, the demands of life build in practicality. I traveled alone lot during my first marriage, so did he. Life fills the spaces in your life, and you learn to cope.

I was married nearly 30 years. Just an observation based on experience that has nothing to do with levels of love, missing or anything else other than you just learn to deal with the absenses. You have to or you crumble. Crumbling in marriage is a bad thing.

If getting "real" means having to accept long absences of my husband, then I will never get "real". I miss sharing my day with him and just having his presence around. The funny thing is that everyone is still in shock that I am this way, including myself. I was totally independent and enjoyed my own time before I met my husband. I had even been in some relationships but still enjoyed A LOT of space. It is different now that I have met my soulmate (and I truly see Hicham as that). I feel we were separated for ALL of my life and I really don't want to have to spend any more time apart. That being said, it was me who pushed him to travel. One of the things I love about him the most is how he feels for his family. It has been a long time since he has seen them. Since his parents are no longer around, he needs to go back and see his younger siblings and make sure everything is going ok for them.

[MichelleandCraig 1]

pretty much says it all, Lisa. I have to go make supper...burgers and homemade chips all 'round! Have a good night all. M.

Edited March 4, 2007 by MichelleandCraig