Being divorced .. need precise info.

[wishforhumility 0]

Okay. My wife has just come home, handed me a print-out of an I-751 and announced

she is going to see a lawyer next Monday to divorce me.

There are way too many abbreviations being thrown about for me to understand what

many people are talking about in here, when they are trying to give me advice. I do

not understand abbreviations. I know that, as soon as I get given a divorce decree - I

should apply for a waiver with this/for this form I-751. Now .. what does "applying for

a waiver" mean?

* Does it mean I send in this form itself, or do I ask for a different form .. a "waiver"?

* Who do I ask? - I live in AR.

My wife does not care what happens to me. But I do. I am sure this process will be

much easier on both of us if we could work together on it. I am planning to visit a

friend in Texas - to attend a school down there, to get my GED. The wife says as soon

as I'm gone - she will change the locks, and list me as no longer living there. 'sighs.

* It would be a lot easier for both of us, wouldn't it, if we were at the same address &

got this over and done with, as smoothly as possible?

It's more difficult, I think, if I am at a different address. Why she hates me so much, I

do not know. It started about 2 years ago - her "dead complacency" .. and her last

divorce ended exactly the same way - with the guy wondering what he had done and

not recieving clear answers - but he's American by birth,.. I'm not, and I risk getting

thrown back to where I came from, like unwanted garbage where I'll be homeless,

because of it. I have no other family.

* Also, the form asks us to provide sworn affidavits of two people who have known us

personally since recieving my Residence Card. Well,.. that was only a month ago, and

having lived almost 2 separate lives in this house for the last year and a half, I still

know almost nobody here.

God help me! .. I am in trouble, and I don't know what to do!

Edited March 2, 2007 by wishforhumility

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Okay. My wife has just come home, handed me a print-out of an I-751 and announced

she is going to see a lawyer next Monday to divorce me.

There are way too many abbreviations being thrown about for me to understand what

many people are talking about in here, when they are trying to give me advice. I do

not understand abbreviations. I know that, as soon as I get given a divorce decree - I

should apply for a waiver with this/for this form I-751. Now .. what does "applying for

a waiver" mean?

* Does it mean I send in this form itself, or do I ask for a different form .. a "waiver"?

* Who do I ask? - I live in AR.

My wife does not care what happens to me. But I do. I am sure this process will be

much easier on both of us if we could work together on it. I am planning to visit a

friend in Texas - to attend a school down there, to get my GED. The wife says as soon

as I'm gone - she will change the locks, and list me as no longer living there. 'sighs.

* It would be a lot easier for both of us, wouldn't it, if we were at the same address &

got this over and done with, as smoothly as possible?

It's more difficult, I think, if I am at a different address. Why she hates me so much, I

do not know. It started about 2 years ago - her "dead complacency" .. and her last

divorce ended exactly the same way - with the guy wondering what he had done and

not recieving clear answers - but he's American by birth,.. I'm not, and I risk getting

thrown back to where I came from, like unwanted garbage where I'll be homeless,

because of it. I have no other family.

* Also, the form asks us to provide sworn affidavits of two people who have known us

personally since recieving my Residence Card. Well,.. that was only a month ago, and

having lived almost 2 separate lives in this house for the last year and a half, I still

know almost nobody here.

God help me! .. I am in trouble, and I don't know what to do!

Deep breath! First things first, you can jointly file the I-751 Petition to Remove Conditions from Residency, IF your wife will cooperate and that should be filed no earlier than 90 days before your conditional green card expires. Chances are you're not going to be together at that time.

If not, yes, you will have to file the waiver, and while it is referred to as a waiver, it uses the same form. File the form I-751, but this time mark "d" in the part that declares "I am filing alone based on a bona fide marriage that terminated in divorce", make sure you send evidence that would support that you intended to live as man and wife, and that you shared a residence and co-mingled your finances. Affidavits are optional, so if you don't have anyone that could vouch for the bona fide nature of your marriage, don't fret about it. Neighbours are only one source of an affidavit, by the way. It could be a clergyman, a counselor, the check out girl at the local grocery store, you know.

[wishforhumility 0]

Since she tells me she is going to see her lawyer on Monday - the minute I have a copy

of the divorce decree, I can file the waiver, right (even though my Conditional Residence

card terminates next year)?

At the moment I am packing my bags, as I am leaving to go live with a friend down in

Texas - leaving tomorrow, as I have nowhere else to go. I assume it doesn't change my

ability to file this too much. I am taking with me - *all* of our documentation - so I can do

this as fully as possible.

The only evidences, since I've only *just* recieved my Conditional Residence Card and

Social Security number - that we shared a home together - are bank statements, in both

our names and debt collection bills, from debts she has run up, as well as charities that

we have been giving to, such as CBN and IFCJ; copies of our shared health insurance

cards ... I don't know if it's enough.

As for the Affidavits .. the wording on the form says "Two people - *since* - you recieved

your Residence card" .. which was only recently, and since we have been living 2 separate

lives in the same house, since she will not even try to talk with me (???) .. I know almost

no-one here.

The people I do know are people at my church, who can verify that I live at that address -

but .. they don't know *her* though. Are they sufficient for Affidavits?

Thank you for all the advice you have helped me with so far .. you have no idea what a

blanket of comfort this is to me .. it is a really hard and depressing time, right now.

- wish.

[Kez/JWolf 6]

Before you walk out that door to go live with a friend I would go and get some legal advice... you need to check out if you moving out is the right thing to do... also you need make sure you are not getting a bum deal with the divorce...

Good Luck

Kez

[wishforhumility 0]

Get legal advice from where? .. I have no money, job, nor knowledge. I'm not sure what you mean by a "bum deal" .. I have tried everything here, and she is un-moving. What am I missing?

[Kez/JWolf 6]

You have access to a computer, try doing a google search for free legal advice and charities offering free advice, pull up a list of lawyers in your area and phone them see who is willing to see you for free or on a payment plan.... you say you have no job go and find one you have a greencard so you are allowed to work... there are always jobs in the fast food industry.. not great but it would give you a start...

Bum deal = well you do have rights in this divorce and you should make sure you know what you are entitled to.. if she is working and you are not you might need alomony payments, unless you find out what your rights are you wont know....

Kez

[wishforhumility 0]

What I really want - since she is doing this - is just to get filing as quickly as possible. I

know most legal places are closed over the weekends, and my pal in Tx is picking me

up Sunday.

I keep telling myself she's got it easy - no American male would just take it like this, but

I'm figuring the sooner this is over with, maybe then I can pick my life up & get on with

it.

Thanks to the 2-year delay in my residence card getting to us (they lost everything a

year ago, and we had to file all over again), she has been supporting me - which we have

both hated - for the last 2 years, so I'm cagey about trying to get "alimoney" money from

her. It would be a last resort. But as for rights, maybe I can find out about them in Texas,

frankly, I'll be glad to get away though!

I don't know ... I never know what the right thing is to do.

[Kez/JWolf 6]

Did you not file for EAD along with your AOS... you could of been working for the last 1 1/2 years.... but all that is moot now...

Good Luck in Texas

Kez

[Boiler 45,967]

She is required under the terms of the the I-864 Affadavit of Support to support you. This is outside of the alimoney situation.

A useful barganing chip, if nothing else.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

What I really want - since she is doing this - is just to get filing as quickly as possible. I

know most legal places are closed over the weekends, and my pal in Tx is picking me

up Sunday.

I keep telling myself she's got it easy - no American male would just take it like this, but

I'm figuring the sooner this is over with, maybe then I can pick my life up & get on with

it.

Thanks to the 2-year delay in my residence card getting to us (they lost everything a

year ago, and we had to file all over again), she has been supporting me - which we have

both hated - for the last 2 years, so I'm cagey about trying to get "alimoney" money from

her. It would be a last resort. But as for rights, maybe I can find out about them in Texas,

frankly, I'll be glad to get away though!

I don't know ... I never know what the right thing is to do.

Moving to temporary digs should not impact any dissolution of the marriage, as far as I can see. For all his wife is aware, he could be taking a break and not moving out permanently. Taking up another residence usually had an affect on the individual who wishes to claim the marital home is his or her residence. He can look at some general divorce facts here:

http://www.divorcesource.com/info/divorcelaws/arkansas.shtml

A marriage of 2.5 years should entitle him to some part of the appreciation of marital assets, since AR is an equitable distribution state. He should not make any statement in writing as to what he would like from the estate until he has spoken with someone familair with family law. There might be attorneys that would consult pro bono. He should look to see if there is a lawyers' referral service in his area through the AR state Bar Assn.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Since she tells me she is going to see her lawyer on Monday - the minute I have a copy

of the divorce decree, I can file the waiver, right (even though my Conditional Residence

card terminates next year)?

Yes, that is correct.

At the moment I am packing my bags, as I am leaving to go live with a friend down in

Texas - leaving tomorrow, as I have nowhere else to go. I assume it doesn't change my

ability to file this too much.

No, it shouldn't.

The only evidences, since I've only *just* recieved my Conditional Residence Card and

Social Security number - that we shared a home together - are bank statements, in both

our names and debt collection bills, from debts she has run up, as well as charities that

we have been giving to, such as CBN and IFCJ; copies of our shared health insurance

cards ... I don't know if it's enough.

and mail that arrived at your residence in your name, her name; driver's license?; library cards. What about auto insurance premiums issued since you were interviewed? I would supply evidence from the date you submitted your application to adjust status, and not from the date of receipt of the green card. Be creative!

As for the Affidavits .. the wording on the form says "Two people - *since* - you recieved

your Residence card" .. which was only recently, and since we have been living 2 separate

lives in the same house, since she will not even try to talk with me (???) .. I know almost

no-one here.

The people I do know are people at my church, who can verify that I live at that address -

but .. they don't know *her* though. Are they sufficient for Affidavits?

Can't hurt to provide them. How about the mailman? The check out cashier at the supermarket. Did you shop together?

Edited March 3, 2007 by diadromous mermaid

[MichelleandCraig 1]

I apologize that I can't be helpful, but I just wanted to add that I'm very sorry for what you're going through, and hope things go well for you in TX. M.

Edited March 4, 2007 by MichelleandCraig

[JimandSarha 0]

Do not under any circumstances move to another state.

In AR you will have some support benefits bestowed on you as a legal resident of your state. When you move, Texas will not help you. If you were a Mexican wading across the Rio Grande, you could get help, as idiotic as that sounds. But as a foreigner from a western country, hell as a resident of Arkansas if you were born here, Texas will give you zip.

Stay in Arkansas and you can at least get temporary welfare and housing assistance.

STAY. Then, unless you have not a single skill in the world, get a job. Even people who know nothing can wash cars and ask "you want fries with that?"

This is your only hope. Otherwise, what will happen when your friend in Texas gets tired of supporting you or his girlfriend wants you out? You have some support options where you are, Texas may look better temporarily. But once you move, you're screwed and you can't even come back to AR and get benefits since you will have moved and now you aren't a resident there either.

Get help and get a job or you will be on the street very shortly.

Jim

[wishforhumility 0]

Did you not file for EAD along with your AOS... you could of been working for the last 1 1/2 years.... but all that is moot now...

Well of course I filed for EAD along with my AOS .. I explained this above. But the filing

authorities - "lost" - absolutely *all* of our paperwork, and asked us to do the whole lot

again!

I could *not* have been working for the last 1 1/2 years - because I did not have the ss

number and Temp. Permanent Residence Card - that I have only just now recieved!

Jim .. thank you very much for the frankness of your reply. I have no idea what benefits

or anything I am "entitled" to .. I thought the Affidavit of Support - was precisely *because*

I cannot claim any benefits or anything - not that I would know where to look for them

anyway, but I do not want to be any kind of drain on this country or this state..although, I

was not the one who put me in this position in the first place.

I prayed about this a lot, and something told me not to go down to Texas, I spoke with my

mentor from church - and he turned around and told me flatly the same thing, and doing

my morning reading .. I got the same message a third time .. so, difficult though it is, I

have chosen to stay and face whatever lies ahead.

I'm not so interested in what I can "get from her" in marital laws, etc, as I am in making

certain she doesn't ruin my life this way - by me being removed - just because she "feels"

differently. This country has become my home, and I have nothing and nowhere else now.

I have a job interview tomorrow .. so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I can get it.

P.S. Thank you *so much* for the suggestion of the Post-man - I never thought of that! -

and he and I are good friends too! He knows her and the whole family for longer than he

has known me also!

Edited March 7, 2007 by wishforhumility

[wishforhumility 0]

Ok .. I got handed legal papers for her initializing the divorce today. She turns round and

tells me frankly "I don't care what happens to you."

I have a job interview tomorrow. This is good news, but since we share access to the car,

I have chosen a shift for when she will be home at night. Question:

What if, after I recieve the decree absolute, she decides to change the locks? Or stays out

deliberately late - until I lose my job?

If I try to get in to my home, she calls the police and does the "harassed woman" act

(although I have never, ever harassed her - but I ask since part of this divorce decree

she's filing against me says "The plaintiff asks this court to enter a mutual 'Ex-Parte'

Restraining Order enjoining the parties from harassing the other..."

I don't know any services here.. and don't know what to look for.