Fiancee visa... wants to go home

[Geraldine 0]

Hello everyone,

I would like to ask an idea about my cousin's case. She came here as k1 visa and been here already for 2 weeks, she realized that she is not happy with her man and wants to go back to Philippines, she told her man that she wants to go home but her man wont let her, anyone there can give an idea how can my cousin go back to Philippines? Her man will not buy her a ticket to go back? Do you think its his obligation? Help...

[dave_ehssa 0]

oh so sad..why these things happened??? she suppose to know her fiance well before going there...Were all given a chance to think when we r here in phils after CFO seminar...anyway, its his fiance's obligation to buy a ticket for her if she really wants to go home. Or tell ur friend to think more...we r all given 99 days to think, what if she s wrong...just homesick...

[Caladan 19]

Morally, if she doesn't want to get married, he should send her home. Legally, if they don't get married, she needs to leave in 90 days, but I'm not sure if he can be compelled to do so. (Won't let her leave? What an entitled a$shole.)

Have her look here: http://www.catholiccharities.org/ccimmigration.html. They have immigration and refugee services and low-cost (usually sliding scale) legal assistance. (I looked up Houston as I assume, perhaps wrongly, that your cousin was near where you are, but Catholic Charities is nationwide.)

[antda 13]

Hi Geraldine,

Good luck on your immigraiton journey. Frankly, in answer to your post about your cousin, if she is not happy here in the USA before she is married, then why would she be happy here after she is married? Remember, marriage is forever....

I agree to what another poster on this thread said, that she should have gotten to know her fiance better before she thought about moving here. And if she wants to go back home overseas now, then send her back home. It's easier to do that now before they are married, rather than have to deal with more complicated issues like a divorce later on.

Meanwhile, her man should try and make her feel more comfortable here too. For example, talk to her about her concerns about staying in the USA, explain to her the benefits of staying in the USA, introduce her to people in the community here, spend more time together as a couple, And most important of all: discuss issues affecting their relationship. Maybe her way of saying "I want to go home" really means "I don't like you, we need to work on this relationship". Who knows, maybe she will change her mind about staying here....

And yes, if worst case comes to worst, seek out help from others, like counsellors, charities, etc.

Hope this helps.

Ant

Hello everyone,

I would like to ask an idea about my cousin's case. She came here as k1 visa and been here already for 2 weeks, she realized that she is not happy with her man and wants to go back to Philippines, she told her man that she wants to go home but her man wont let her, anyone there can give an idea how can my cousin go back to Philippines? Her man will not buy her a ticket to go back? Do you think its his obligation? Help...

Edited March 1, 2007 by antocru

[Jim&Gemz 0]

Hello everyone,

I would like to ask an idea about my cousin's case. She came here as k1 visa and been here already for 2 weeks, she realized that she is not happy with her man and wants to go back to Philippines, she told her man that she wants to go home but her man wont let her, anyone there can give an idea how can my cousin go back to Philippines? Her man will not buy her a ticket to go back? Do you think its his obligation? Help...

It is sad to see something like this happen and it makes you wonder if it's him that she isn't happy with or she's just very homesick. Her maturity probably has a lot to do with this also. Is she very young? Besides all that, if she wants to go home it's his obligation to provide the means for her to do so. It's in the petition he filled out that he guarantees she will not become a public charge or dependent on charity.

[Sonshyne 2]

This is not good. If she is unhappy here and wants to go home then he should send her. This to me would be a red flag as to the kind of person "he" is. It seems that maybe he is controlling. I hope that if she has made up her mind that she is not happy and wants to go home, that he will finally understand that, and help her out.

[intelek 0]

Correct me if i'm wrong , but if she does not get married in 90 days. If she just go to INS, she will get deported. That sounds like a free trip to me.

[Jim&Gemz 0]

Correct me if i'm wrong , but if she does not get married in 90 days. If she just go to INS, she will get deported. That sounds like a free trip to me.

Not the right way to handle this though. The taxpayers pick up the tab for that. Also that's another black eye on the fiance(e) visa system which many people would like to see done away with anyway. He needs to step up to the plate and take care of her. If she truly does not love him and wants to leave he is responsible for helping her go home. Besides if she's young and this was all a huge mistake for her, if she used your suggestion then she would have huge problems ever being able to return here.

[CountryBoy 0]

I have to say that I have read differing opinions on this post, thus I will give mine.

When considering all of the questions and requirements that were asked of both parties when filing for a K-1 visa, the answers that were given (as well as the papers that were submitted in conjunction with the petition and visa processes) assured the individuals determining eligibility for the K-1 Visa that this Filipina and her American fiancée knew each other well enough to justify it.

Why was this person given a visa in the first place?

The requirements set forth to prove a petitioner and beneficiary’s intent seem excessive to myself because I truly love my fiancée and have no doubt that I will spend the rest of my life with her, (shoot, just ask me .. I’ll put my hand on the bible, which would be enough in my case) but when I read of a case like this I can understand why these requirements were established.

This truly is sad as dav ehssa said, for both parties involved, but I do not agree that after 2 weeks it is her fiancée’s obligation to buy her a ticket, before the 90 days yes, but not after 2 weeks. I also feel that if she is deported for not meeting the marriage requirement that he should be responsible for her return ticket… no free ticket there, no taxpayer liability.

As far as the “red flags”, “kind of person that he is”, and “controlling” statement goes, it seems to me that he isn’t the one breaking the contract; maybe it is like Jim&Gemz said she is just immature and/or homesick and she’ll get over it, once again this brings me back justifying his not buying the ticket after 2 weeks.

As you can probably tell, without more information .. I am not compelled to consider the petitioner a “bad guy”.

Just thoughts in passing while reading posts and wondering why it takes so DARN long to get a Visa approved. Thank you OP for helping to ease my mind; there are in fact legitimate reasons for the requirements set forth to obtain a K-1 Visa.

the

[~Chad~ 0]

I always insure my fiancee that if she EVER wanted to go back to the philippines, it would break my heart but I would buy her a plane ticket. Her happiness means more than anything.

[GabachaYucateca 0]

It seems that people are making assumptions about what kind of relationship this is, and I also did the same thing as I started reading.

But then I started thinking about my fiance and I. Yep, we're sure we want to be together and have been for seven years. But he's never been to this country before and I can only imagine the emotional turmoil he'll experience after arriving. And he may very well have a freak out when he gets here. And after two weeks I certainly won't "let" him go back to Mexico. Rather, no matter how much of an emotional freakshow he's being, I'm going to do my damndest to make sure that he's working through these issues and I will be right next to him helping him. Is that controlling?

He'll be financially dependent on me, and I certainly won't buy a plane ticket for him to return after two weeks. What kind of person does that make me?

And if the point arrives when he says, no, really, I want to go back to Mexico, I will try my best to keep him here while we make arrangements to move TOGETHER to Mexico.

So I still have my own preconceptions about this relationship, but who knows how accurate they are?

[cherryred_04 1]

well,i feel a teary eyes when i read this post of your friend,i cant imagine myself what happens to her and not explaining the whole thing that happens to her when she arrived in USA,if its only for homesick well we can do alternatives moves to ease the feelings for being homesick,but if for some other reasons...blah blah blah,you can tell here straight so we the members here are eager to support you and give your friend some guidelines what to do,in her situition, but for myself i cant elaborate which i did not know exactly the main reasons of wanting to go back in phils...i guess maybe your friend notice some changes of her fiancee?or else there were some other things that she cant explain, just tell your friend to be open she cannot be heal if she just say directly that she wanted to go back to phili,without any valid reasons,as we both know in here her fiancee spent a lot of money before she arrived in USA,and at the same time your friend also have spent a lot of efforts, time,to do the process why not think it over and over again,and decided not to pursue in going to US, rather than already arrived in USA,then decided to go back?

ohhhh, it is a sad story, but im sure you gurls can find a way before the expiry of your stay will come,if you can make it and decided some other option to just stay with your fiancee it is much better as long as your friend find true love with her fiancee,or else she noticed that upon arriving in USA,she dont feel any love...maybe that is the case...so try to find a way now that it is not too late,and remember let jesus stay in your heart i am really sure he will enlightened your mind what is the right descission to will say,depends upon to what you feel...okay god bless you .,..

cherry

Edited March 2, 2007 by cherryred_04

[ding 1]

It's unimaginable to not help someone go home that finds they don't love you. Why would you want them to stay if not for sick reasons?

This guy needs to let her know he will step up and help her home. She should know if he's hurt, but he will best get over it now, rather than later.

[Yodrak 7]

Geraldine,

I agree with Caladan's assessment of the situation. Except for the "a$shole" determination - I'm not willing to make a judgement about either party without knowing more than you've revealed about the situation.

She's your cousin - you can't help her get home if her estranged fiance won't?

Yodrak

Hello everyone,

I would like to ask an idea about my cousin's case. She came here as k1 visa and been here already for 2 weeks, she realized that she is not happy with her man and wants to go back to Philippines, she told her man that she wants to go home but her man wont let her, anyone there can give an idea how can my cousin go back to Philippines? Her man will not buy her a ticket to go back? Do you think its his obligation? Help...

Morally, if she doesn't want to get married, he should send her home. Legally, if they don't get married, she needs to leave in 90 days, but I'm not sure if he can be compelled to do so. (Won't let her leave? What an entitled a$shole.)

.....

[the.ronin 0]

... if she wants to go home it's his obligation to provide the means for her to do so. It's in the petition he filled out that he guarantees she will not become a public charge or dependent on charity.

That's a very excellent point.