HELP! How Do I Emotionally Support My Husband (the applicant)

[Jonando 3]

Hi everyone!

I am new to this site, and would greatly appreciate anyone's sharing on the topic.

What kind of feels is my husband having at this point in the process? We are just 2 weeks away from his interview...what is it like to return to your country and family after several years away? How can I support him emotionally through his exams and interview or through the first meeting with his family in 12 long years? What should I expect from him...what will he be experiencing? I have nothing to compare this to from my own experinece. What should I NOT say or do? Any tips, suggestions or just reading your share would be so comforting. Thanks!

[Jonando 3]

I will reply to my own post since no one has done so...now I have went through the process. My husband and I went to Juarez for the medical exam, biometrics and the interview. He was denied entry into the USA because of a DUI he received in 2009, and told he can re-apply after 1 year. When he return to the hotel to let me know the Consular's decision the best way to support him was to listen with an open mind and not blame him for the outcome. He was beat down and was taking the decision hard. We were in shock since the I601A wavier was approved; it was difficult for both of us. However, we had planned to visit with his family in Mexico City after the interview. We moved on with our plans to site see while in Mexico City - making the most of every day together before my return to the States. This was the best thing we could have done. We offered each other words of encouragement when days were tough. As I write this he is in Mexico City with his family and I am at home. I cannot afford to keep the house we were renting and pay all the bills so I will move in with my mother. Me and my husband stay in touch throughout the day, but it does not take the place of him being here beside me. This is very difficult, but we will re-apply. Being reunited with his family and friends after 12 years was very emotional. He was overjoyed to see them, but embarrassed to say he would have to stay. I also watched as he was overwhelmed with the changes in his home country. He told me how things use to be 12 years ago and how things have declined since he was home. To leave my husband there is very concerning. No one should have to go through this evil process to have a better life.

[heo luoi 206]

You seem to have a good handle/approach already. At least hes relatively close. could be worse if had to go off continent. Least perhaps you can still be able to visit throughout the year. If it was easy everyone would come here so there has to be some process.

Embrace what you can, make your relationship stronger enduring this set back. he gets longer reunion with family.

[mandy8486 2]

I'm so sorry that you both have to go through such a long separation. My husband is in Mexico right now and my son and I are in the US. He didn't even make it to the interview because he did not pass the medical exam. I am so scared and sad for him. He has to do additional testing and wait 2 months for the results. After that he might get a new interview date. All we can do is try to have faith, pray and be strong. We encourage each other every day that everything will be okay even though it is hard and we really don't know what will happen. It is out of our control and we just have to be patient because worrying and crying won't help. Anyway I felt so bad when I read your story and I'm sorry that this happened. Please have faith and stay strong. I'm sure everything will work out in the end!

[Jonando 3]

Mandy, thank you for your reply. What a blessing you are to me...I needed the encouragement. I too am sorry that things worked out the way they did for you and your family. I hope and pray that all will go in your family's favor soon, and that you and your son have the support of family and friends nearby. God loves you...bless you dear one.

[NikLR 13,227]

Be there. Listen. But make him take responsibility for himself too.

Edited December 18, 2015 by NLR