Leaving an abusive marriage

[shinebright 5]

Back in June I contacted a couple women's shelters and was denied because they were at full capacity, because I'm not a mother and women with kids are a priority. I then tried to get therapy but I don't have the money for it. Same with legal help, the people from the local shelter basically gave me a list of lawyers and phone numbers and told me it was going to be expensive. I don't have a job and I'm financially dependent on my husband. So I stayed and I've been depressed all this time, unable to leave. I thought I could save up some money to eventually leave but my depression has been crippling.

Then I called again (to this shelter in a different city, hoping to move 2 hours away from my abusive husband) to see if even if I wasn't living in the shelter I could receive some help, some guidance and the lady gave me the run around and never actually answered my question. I told her I would be moving there and she dismissed me saying it is so expensive, I should stay in the same small town that my husband, at least he would take care of me since I have no friends or family here. I told her I would much rather pay the same money for a small room in the city than the 2 bedroom house I have now "at least I would have a peace of mind" I said, even if I had to work two jobs. She agreed. But why was I trying to convince this person? Wasn't she supposed to help me?

So I stayed because I felt there was nothing I could do. But now my husband made some threats and I'm scared of what might happen. Now I really want to leave and he even told me to take all the money from our joint bank account to get on my feet but I'm afraid it might be a set up and he might use this against me later somehow (we live in CA where everything is supposed to be 50/50) he says things like that that I should leave or press charges but then he tries to act like nothing happened. All I know is that I can't keep livig like this anymore.

[Penguin_ie 5,993]

Your adjustment of status is approved, so you have your greencard and can travel. Maybe go home for a few weeks/ months, get your energy back and stay wiht your family?

[shinebright 5]

My green card is conditional for two years and I need to get a new passport to go back to my country. I've been thinking I should probably go visit family and friends but wouldn't stay to live over there since I racked up a lot of debt for leaving the country in the first place. And on the psychological aspect, I would never hear the end of it with my family for my failed marriage so it might be a bad idea staying for an extended period of time.

[bronco37 16]

Get a new passport. Chill out somewhere in MX. Honestly, MX has a LOT of opportunities these days as compared to USA for folks who are new here. It's not like old days where USA is the place to be. If you are running from debts, well, I've no idea how to help/advise you there. If your husband is giving you money to leave him alone, get it in writing from him so that it's on paper and make that a part of your settlement contract for divorce. If you are trying to hang out in the relationship for perma GC, I feel sorry for you. Failed marriage is your issue. Ignore what your family has to say about it if they are not helping you. You can rent a place in MX, cut off ties w/ the people trying to bring you down and rebuild your life. Reinvent yourself. I did. You can too.

[shinebright 5]

I'm just really overwhelmed by the legal mess and the depression is not helping. I look at my life in Mexico and I just can't do it anymore, it's such a busy lifestyle I'd be eaten alive now. Plus my husband kept putting negative thoughts in my head all this time "where would you go? You have no credit, no references" well, I do have my own cc now and I'm starting to build my credit. I feel like I'll be better off here, at least I would get a better education.

[Villanelle 4,122]

http://leavingabuse.com/how-to-leave-an-abusive-relationship/

http://www.womansdivorce.com/leaving-an-abusive-husband.html

Here are two websites with some advice on how to create an exit plan. Rather then copying and pasting tons of info from it Im just going to give you the link to read through.

What part of the exit plan are you specifically struggling with?> As the websites explain it is going to be difficult. No one can do the work for you, you have to find the strength to do it yourself. Therapy can help. You do have insurance dont you? You can also seek out free or low cost therapy by using google (a combination of those key words and your location)

Or try this website-

http://www.needymeds.org/free_clinics.taf?gclid=CjwKEAjwp56wBRDThOSZ3vqGzmESJABjNaj9n8-sFs7ot1C-ifh0sMCT3_GXdIDEBeyWBhbfpRozBxoCaWXw_wcB