90 Day Fiance Season 3 preview trailer, cast revealed

[Pennycat 880]

Is it just me or is it REALLY WEIRD that Melanie and Devar had (apparently) never talked about financial planning before he moved-- and in front of her hateful sisters no less?!

I can see some young, dumb early 20something who fell in love with some dreamboat at the beach and who filed right away and blitzed through CSC in 4 months not having the time/maturity to think or talk about it. But... I mean...

1. She's been married and divorced before. Unless she had some dreamworld divorce in which money is not mentioned once (or a dreamworld marriage in which money is never a point of disagreement) she really should know that you need to be on the same page with plans for money. Am I missing something here?

2. She's not young or dumb. Seriously, right up until last night she struck me as one of the more "together" people who have ever been on this show (not that THAT'S saying much but still).

3. She's visited multiple times and they had a prolonged visa journey thanks to TSC. There was SO much time to figure this all out.

4. Now I may be making things up but didn't SHE herself mention that he's the only financial support for the family in Jamaica? Did she not add 1+1? Did she not ask "so, hey, what are your sisters planning to do once you leave"?

5. He had another visa in the works before he met her. It didn't occur to her to ask what his plans were with that visa and if they've changed now that he's with her? Like, "Oh, I know you probably were trying to move ehre to make a better life for people back home but now that we're making a family together, have your financial priorities shifted at all"?

6. From what I have seen here and from what I have heard and witnessed anecdotealy in real life (and which has been hurled to me as "warning")--- it is not uncommon for men from certain countries/cultures to be expected to and expect to partly or fully support their families back home once they immigrate to a bigger economy. She HAD to know this. There is NO way someone didn't say something to the effect of "um... how do you feel about supporting his family in Jamaica, too, because you will be". Now right or wrong, that IS a stereotype that people have about immigrant men, and there is next to no way she didn't hear it before that dinner conversation (if she somehow didn't think it first herself).

I heard it. I'd already thought about it. Talking about expectations for family support both now and when our parents get older was like #2 on the list of Things We Needed To Discuss months before we decided to make it official (#1 was babies). And not just his but OUR. We talked about what if my mom is widowed and needs to live with one of her children, would we be willing/ able etc. His family is comfortable now but what if they fall on hard times? Are we willing to help them? At what cost (would we trade our visits to them for cash support? Would we move to a smaller/cheaper house? Sell a car? What?). We went on a lovely vacation together, it almost felt like a honeymoon (stayed at nice places, splurged on activities... it was Nicaragua so it was barely more expensive than staying at the B&Bs and hostels in Costa Rica) and every night over dinner, we went over another topic with guiding questions provided by my priest about things engaged couples should discuss. It was really helpful. The point isn't to come to an agreement necessarily, just to see where you each are coming from and to look for any true deal-breakers. Things that one person will NOT budge on that the other just can't live with. Sure, people and circumstances can change over time but you have to at least know if you're at roughly the same starting place. This is a HUGE difference in opinion that I'm shocked wasn't discussed earlier (unless it's TLC editing/ faking the "reality" etc).

For the record, I wouldn't accept that. Some support, yes. Where I'd draw the line, I don't know. We'd work it out together, I suppose. His bold-faced confession to the camera that he knows that she'll say no but he's going to do it anyway, and he knows that she'll hate him for it is TERRIFYING to me. People who live by the philosophy that "it is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission" absolutely disgust me, and the scary part is that you NEVER know if you're dealing with someone like that until you're already burned by them (old roommate problems here. Still paying for it. Literally. With interest). What that really is is "I'm going to do exactly what I like and force the other person to live with it by forgiving me or.... well once you're married the "or" is rather extreme so they probably won't take it. I'm basically forcing her to do exactly what I want with no thought to her opinions, needs or feelings". Nasty and manipulative. If they do wind up married (I sure as hell wouldn't have after that), at least she's got all the ammo she needs for a divorce. Jeez.

[LionessDeon 2,060]

I totally agree. She's clueless as to the culture and.customs. Truly makes me wonder how much time she spent in JA and with his friends and family. Did she stay in hotels every trip? Must have cuz she acts like she knows nothing about him. Finances should've been discussed long ago and NOT in front of other family members. She makes all the money right now so it's her way or the highway. Interesting to see how long that lasts with him. He already said he's sending $$ regardless so she'll just have to be "pissed". Seems they've had no discussion as to their future plans or expectations. Something my fiancé and I spend hours sometimes talking about.

I don't know if it's the way it's being edited or what but her and her sisters are very disrespectful to him as a man. I would never allow my family to speak to my fiancé the way her sisters belittle him. His past sex life is none of their business and I'd love to hear him throw those same questions back at them!

I will assume it's for dramatic purposes. I've had a lot of my own opinions about this couple. I've had a special interest in them since my fiancé is Jamaican also. But they are nothing like us. Everyone's journey is different!

Edited November 9, 2015 by LionessDeon

[Pennycat 880]

What gets me is the 90% of his income thing vs her "they are capable of working" thing. That is a GULF of a difference in opinion on the topic.

Also, I mean...I suppose I can accept that that is the culture/ custom but does he realize that by sending basically all of his money to Jamaica, that he's getting a free ride from Melanie who may or may not be able to provide a free ride for a grown adult, may or may not be willing to provide the free ride and that he may be jeopardizing their ability to afford this child they seem so gung-ho about having? I would be livid. I don't need a husband to take care of me, or to elevate my living standards but I DO need one that won't be a total drain.... especially a total drain *without my agreeing to that sacrifice*.

I can visualize a world in which I do make that kind of financial sacrifice for my husband/family and or his family back home. But I can NOT visualize remaining married to someone who makes that decision for me and then forces my hand into having no choice other than "his way or divorce". Not even because of the money but because of the attitude. That is NO way to operate as a couple and I wouldn't stand for it for 5 seconds.

[Amhara 460]

I really hope much of this was staged. Hopefully the producers said, "Okay, during lunch, talk about this. Now you, take this position, and you take the opposite position."

It has to be staged. "She's a real big fan of maple syrup"?? C'mon, this can't be something you say when you introduce your fiance to your family. It just can't be.....

[LionessDeon 2,060]

Yea his reality on that was skewed on that one. He's young though and sometimes they think all American's are rich. I wonder if he said that just to be a smarty because of how they were acting or for drama. Again, things that should've been discussed long ago. How long were they together before his arrival? How many times did she visit? I never heard that info.

[Pennycat 880]

I'm hoping it's just for the drama. Or (I'm doing some mental gymnastics here, trying to find a reason he'd say that that's not him being a total.... user)...maybe he thought that by showing his committment to his family he was winning points with Melanie and the sisters? I don't know. I just don't know. For me, that would have resulted in purchasing a one-way ticket to Jamaica from my phone right there at the table. I'm sorry. No.

Again, it is not totally about the money (for me) it's the attitude of "this is how it will be and you can't do anything about it". It's the forcing of a situation (a situation that most people would not accept).

I really, really, really wanted to like him. That "she'll say no but I'm going to do it anyway and she'll hate me for it but she can't do anything about it" thing just had him drop 1000 pegs in my eyes. Now I'm fairly well convinced that he wanted a faster ticket to America, will abandon her if she won't go by his rules--- even if it happens before marriage or AOS he can happily work under the table and send 90% of his income to his sisters (and dare I think it.... maybe family that's not his sisters?!). Lots faster than waiting on whatever visa his mom was working on for him.

Edited November 9, 2015 by CatherineA

[Eric-Pris 1,607]

I'm watching these couples in season 3 and I can see why they were chosen. They have issues. The below are just my opinions based on the limited exposure that we as viewers have had to them and their lives.

The Russian girl is so out of place in Idaho. I don't know who brainwashed her to convert to a Mormon and what she was told that her life would be like. But she seems uncomfortable, everybody seems really judgemental, and the guy she's with is a dork. Like Salsa dancing. A bunch of squares dancing Salsa. Was there a DJ or were they using a CD player? LOL I think she will end up going back home, she's been there 2 weeks and is already looks like she's done with the Mormon lifestyle.

The old guy and the young Filipino girl.... wow, what can be said? They are the new Danielle and Mohammed. This guy is clueless, it's no wonder why his wife left him. He's just so akward and says the wrong thing all the time. Keeps bringing up his ex-wife and keeps comparing new girl to his ex. He gave her the same car as his ex? The exact same model and color... what the f...!!! And he has his "order" in the house and how things should be done... (read: control freak). And last but not least... he wakes her up with a train whistle. You can't make this stuff up. And she doesn't like the fact that he has to work. And he's too serious. She wants him to stay home and play with her, like a 5 year old girl would expect of her daddy.

The Jamaican guy just seems totally fake. He says what she wants to hear. Now he's going to spring the fact that he plans on sending money back to Jamaica, Seems like that's going to be a problem.

The Colombian girl is ridiculously jealous and insecure. Her parents are very distrusting of him and his intentions. But that is actually a cultural thing. My wife is Latina also and her parents were also distrusting of me in the beginning. They are used to foreigners coming in playing with their daughters and then leaving them high and dry. This seems to be fairly common in Latin America which would explain the mistrust.

Loren... the girl from NYC who had to move in with her parents in Florida because she could not support her finace and herself, even though she made it seem like she had this high powered job. That girl is needy, insecure, and is overly emotional and cries a lot. It seems that crying = ratings.

Edited November 9, 2015 by Eric-Pris

[Amhara 460]

The Colombian girl is ridiculously jealous and insecure.

Why would a jealous person make a serious commitment to someone who has committed adultery in the past AND who ditched his girlfriend to be with you even though you were with someone at the time? Yeah, I understand that she has a basis for being jealous, but...oy vey....

[LionessDeon 2,060]

Depends. Could go either way. If they would have had this discussion earlier she could've saved a whole lot of drama. I've spent alot of time with my fiances family...every trip I've made. She has made no effort to truly get to know them or the workings of JA people and families. She's in her own world. It's lovely to be Stella...very glamorous....meet a Caribbean man on a beautiful island and bring him home..... but if you want a lasting marriage and your truly love your fiance for the person they are, you make an effort to understand them and value their opinion, wants, and needs. A compromise is def needed at times.

Why would a jealous person make a serious commitment to someone who has committed adultery in the past AND who ditched his girlfriend to be with you even though you were with someone at the time? Yeah, I understand that she has a basis for being jealous, but...oy vey....

Oh dear don't talk about them on here .... lolol

[Pennycat 880]

Depends. Could go either way. If they would have had this discussion earlier she could've saved a whole lot of drama. I've spent alot of time with my fiances family...every trip I've made. She has made no effort to truly get to know them or the workings of JA people and families. She's in her own world. It's lovely to be Stella...very glamorous....meet a Caribbean man on a beautiful island and bring him home..... but if you want a lasting marriage and your truly love your fiance for the person they are, you make an effort to understand them and value their opinion, wants, and needs. A compromise is def needed at times.

Oh for sure she should have had this conversation first and made more of an effort to understand him and his family (if she didn't-- we really don't know although all signs are pointing to NOT). I am not laying the blame 100% at his feet at all (on why there is this gulf between them on this topic). But where alarm bells are going off is when he said right to the camera that he doesn't care what she thinks or says, he's doing what he wants regardless. That's not normal in most cultures and I assume in Jamaican as well. And even if it IS normal there, he also needs to realize that he's marrying outside of his culture and make accommodations there too. That statement is terrifyingly indicative of an unwillingness to cooperate--even hide true intentions! That is *scary*.

[LionessDeon 2,060]

Hopefully, it was dramatized for ratings.

[Karo&Fer 10]

It is a TV show for entertainment and not a documentary...the couples, the love, the relationship, the basic story line is true but some discussion among family and friends is part of a television show...that said it does not mean that there is not some truth in it.

In my case, Carolina is jealous and I have had issues in the past but we have been together for over 3 years and in a different stage in the relationship.

Hopefully, it was dramatized for ratings.

Yes

[X Factor 1,112]

The Jamaican guy should marry the Russian Mormon girl. Both like to party.

[LionessDeon 2,060]

Haha!

I still cannot figure out why Loren had to move in with her parents. She quit her job. How is that helping the $$ situation? All that is left is AOS.

[eieio 1,594]

I don't know if it's the way it's being edited or what but her and her sisters are very disrespectful to him as a man. I would never allow my family to speak to my fiancé the way her sisters belittle him. His past sex life is none of their business and I'd love to hear him throw those same questions back at them!

I agree. Out of line and no way to talk to a soon to be family member.