Too Young For Marriage?

[taurean 0]

I have to agree with everyone else...it's maturity that will count in the long run. A friend of mine had to break off an engagement to a 45 year old man who was still playing games.

Not to hi-jack the thread, but I wanted to offer some advice to esjessi. It's completely unsolicited advice so take it our leave it....but I was reading what you said about not telling your folks about applying for the fiance visa. Again...take or leave it, but try to be open with your parents about your situation. What I have found in this process is that it is best to try and be open especially with your family because you need support. Your parents may not agree with your choice at first, but it's quite possible for them to come around eventually. However, to not tell them and then spring it on them after the fact, might not be a good idea either. You are obviously a grown, intelligent woman who can make her own choices, and I am by no means questioning your judgement. Someone gave me the sage advice to at least let your family know what's going on so that they can be a part of things if they choose. I actually took this advice and it has made all the difference in my relationship with my husband and parents, and with him and my family.

[randolady 1]

I have to agree with everyone else...it's maturity that will count in the long run. A friend of mine had to break off an engagement to a 45 year old man who was still playing games.

Not to hi-jack the thread, but I wanted to offer some advice to esjessi. It's completely unsolicited advice so take it our leave it....but I was reading what you said about not telling your folks about applying for the fiance visa. Again...take or leave it, but try to be open with your parents about your situation. What I have found in this process is that it is best to try and be open especially with your family because you need support. Your parents may not agree with your choice at first, but it's quite possible for them to come around eventually. However, to not tell them and then spring it on them after the fact, might not be a good idea either. You are obviously a grown, intelligent woman who can make her own choices, and I am by no means questioning your judgement. Someone gave me the sage advice to at least let your family know what's going on so that they can be a part of things if they choose. I actually took this advice and it has made all the difference in my relationship with my husband and parents, and with him and my family.

I absolutely agree with everything you've said. As soon as I got back to the States last Thursday, I told my mom about what I was doing. Her immediate response? "*sigh* Don't tell your father."

Having been in a homosexual relationship before and trying to hide that from my dad, I realized that it's best to be open with him, even if he gives me grief. I came back from Tanzania determined to be honest with him, but my mom's advice and my dad's general attitude have thus far swayed me from doing so. I think (hope) that once I get a job and am able to move out, I'll feel more comfortable telling him. But having to deal with his silent disapproval on a daily basis is a bit more than I can handle right now.

Excuses, excuses, I know.

[taurean 0]

Great news! I certainly understand your position though. Parental acceptance is something we'd probably all like to have, but if in the past you don't get it, you are way more hesitant to try again. At least your mother is aware and can be there for you.

Hopefully your Dad will be a bit more positive this time. And you are right it's always easier to do what you feel you have to do when you are on your own and not living under someone else's roof. Really, I wish you the best of luck! Keep us posted!!!