Update after two years of arrival from Nigeria

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

Glad to see all the hard work was worth it. Yes it takes a lot to get them here and then it is even harder to get them used to the real life in the US not the one they thought existed. Hope to be hearing back from you later on.

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

Glad to see all the hard work was worth it. Yes it takes a lot to get them here and then it is even harder to get them used to the real life in the US not the one they thought existed. Hope to be hearing back from you later on.

thank you! Yes, for some of us, the road was very long and hellish but what matters the most is the outcome. I hope you are well too! I continue to post my updates to encourage those who only hear the bad or the negative. Like any relationship a long distant relationship is work and it's even more work for there are many differences and changes. When two are in it with honestly and equal effort, the relationship has a greater chance to succeed. It is not all bed of roses, yet with patience one can get over the obstacles. Wishing you happiness and thanks again for your guidance when needed! Edited September 18, 2015 by LoveNigarmostyle

[Queen2myKing 5]

Thank you for your post. You posted this during a time when I needed to hear this message. My husband just started a permanent job that had a rotating shift (36 hours one week 48 hours the next week). It was perfect because he would have two to three days during the week to do whatever he wanted. He had become used to working everyday because the first job he had through a temp agency asked him to come to work every day (overtime). He made an agreement with his new employer to work 12 hours 7 days a week. I should be happy because he is a hard worker. However, I'm not because the government is going to tax him to an amount that he would never understand and we won't get to spend as much time together as I would like. I wish he would have talked to me about his plan before he made it final with his job. I know he has a lot of responsibilities of wanting to take care of his family in the US and Nigeria, purchase an additional car and it's my understanding that in Nigeria once married its known the husband has to buy his own home even if you live in another country. This is a huge adjustment for both of us. I will keep in mind the advise you have given because I need the words of encouragement.

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[S_R 148]

yes it has been a long time. Glad to see you still remember us! Hope you are well too? I peak in periodically to keep hope and faith in long distance relationships alive! Lol giving a positive feedback is crucial when the VJ is so hard. Some of us are truly blessed that our hardship is over but it is never forgotten or taken for granted ?

thank you! Glad to be of help!

You are definitely the epitome of patience and perseverance. Not many people could survive the turmoil. I pray your joy renews each and every day my friend...big hug! Edited September 18, 2015 by S_R

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

You are definitely the epitome of patience and perseverance. Not many people could survive the turmoil. I pray your joy renews each and every day my friend...big hug!

thanks for the kind words! Best wishes to you as well.

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

Thank you for your post. You posted this during a time when I needed to hear this message. My husband just started a permanent job that had a rotating shift (36 hours one week 48 hours the next week). It was perfect because he would have two to three days during the week to do whatever he wanted. He had become used to working everyday because the first job he had through a temp agency asked him to come to work every day (overtime). He made an agreement with his new employer to work 12 hours 7 days a week. I should be happy because he is a hard worker. However, I'm not because the government is going to tax him to an amount that he would never understand and we won't get to spend as much time together as I would like. I wish he would have talked to me about his plan before he made it final with his job. I know he has a lot of responsibilities of wanting to take care of his family in the US and Nigeria, purchase an additional car and it's my understanding that in Nigeria once married its known the husband has to buy his own home even if you live in another country. This is a huge adjustment for both of us. I will keep in mind the advise you have given because I need the words of encouragement.

.

it is very important and crucial for the success of any relationship to have open communication and patience. Specially, during the adjustment period. Both partners need to remember after VJ there is real life issues to deal with after the petitioning is over. The next chapter is another challenge ? Edited September 18, 2015 by LoveNigarmostyle

[Queen2myKing 5]

You're right, the next chapter is challenging. My husband and I had a long conversation and he has gone back to his original schedule allowing a couple days off during the week. Time will tell if he understand the importance of communication before making a decision.

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

You're right, the next chapter is challenging. My husband and I had a long conversation and he has gone back to his original schedule allowing a couple days off during the week. Time will tell if he understand the importance of communication before making a decision.

Glad to hear you are communicating and are on the right track. No one should think that long distance relationships are easy. As no one should automatically assume, just because someone is from Africa and the couple have "red flags" it DOES NOT means she/he is a scammer! I hope with veteran members posting what happens next can encourage others and keep things in prospective and real! Like anything else in life, there are no guarantees to each outcome! But ours has been a success so far! Good luck!

[Queen2myKing 5]

I have been thinking about posting more but I become discouraged on this site because some posters choice of words are too harsh for me. There is a way to voice your opinion without being rude. Some people are good at communication others need a lot of improvement. I wish you continued success in your marriage. God Bless you and your family.

[foreignnaijawife 17]

I've been enjoying my husband since he arrived in February. He was worth every year of the two year visa process. I come back on VJ at least monthly. A vast difference from my daily attendance here. I just wanted to encourage everyone to be a bit more patient.

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

I've been enjoying my husband since he arrived in February. He was worth every year of the two year visa process. I come back on VJ at least monthly. A vast difference from my daily attendance here. I just wanted to encourage everyone to be a bit more patient.

wonderful to hear that you are happy! Continued success with your relationship and thanks for sharing your outcome!

[OlayemiLoray 172]

@Queen2myKing I must agree when you say it becomes discouraging when people are just rude when all that person is looking for are guidance and help..At first I was hesitant about commenting on anything on VJ without my neck being ripped off, but realized no time to remain silent when I need answers...I don't expect anything to be sugarcoated but tread lightly with that individual because this journey along is enough to drive a sane person insane... 

 

@LoveNigarmostylethanks for sharing although it's an old thread, but yet so refreshing and positive..After reading nothing but negativity on certain threads, I was sure to deactivate my account because sometimes we can second guess ourselves..Like you, I am preparing my husband before he gets here and have encouraged him to read online about the American culture/lifestyle, different Universities/Colleges he plans to attend and so forth...Yes, it will be a bit challenging, but worth it in the end.

Edited March 7, 2017 by Loray Thomas

[Ontarkie 14,394]

~~Zombie thread Locked to further discussion. As members gets pulled into a thread from the last reply thinking it is a new thread only to then realize the OP is no longer active.~~

Edited March 7, 2017 by Ontarkie