Need advice on Family member of Permanent Resident

[GuapoPogi 0]

First I want to say that I am not one to publicly share family drama without a good reason. So here is the story. My wife is from the Philippines, I brought her here on a Fiancé visa back in 2006 and she became a US citizen a couple of years ago. My wife and her mother (I'll call her Tnuc) don't like each other, but my wife wants to bring her little (19yo) brother (I'll call him Scamp) here so he can have a better life. My wife talked to Tnuc and agreed to bring her to the US so she could then in turn bring Scamp here. Before Tnuc even left the Philippines she started causing problems. We sent Tnuc money to learn how to drive and to learn English before coming here so she could fit in better and be able to get herself around without having to rely on my wife and I for rides all the time. Tnuc spent the money on something else (not sure what because each time she is asked the answer changes). We were angry about that but right after Tnuc got her there was an opening at my wife's work and she was able to get Tnuc a job there. Since they were able to car pool Tnuc's not having a driver's license was not so much of a problem. Quickly we started to have many more problems with Tnuc. When Tnuc got her first paycheck, instead of using the money to apply for a visa for Scamp, Tnuc sent the money to her boyfriend (I'll call him User) back in Manila. User is the main reason my wife does not like Tnuc so this caused much drama. A few pieces of info on User.

1.) Tnuc cheated on my wife's father with User before my wife's father passed away.

2.) Several years ago User convinced Tnuc to add him onto her bank accounts and drained all of Tnuc's money.

3.) 2 years ago User tried to sleep with 1 of my wife's nieces.

4.) Last year another 1 of my wife's nieces took User's cell phone and found recent nude pictures of him with another woman (not Tnuc).

Tnuc refuses to believe that User is bad and says she loves him even though she knows he is cheating on her and has been for years. They have been together since 2003 or 2004 but my wife's father did not pass away until 2005.

My wife found something in Tnuc's closet that had been reported stolen by someone at their work. Tnuc had a weekend caregiver job off the books but got fired from that for stealing, causing damage to her employer's home and insulting her employer. Tnuc has caused a couple of thousand dollars in damage at my house by dripping hair dye on the carpet, breaking part of the front door, destroying kitchen utensils and various other things.

Paycheck 2 got sent to Scamp who being a teenager with no parental supervision and having just been given more money than he had his entire life before, used it to throw a week long party with his friends. Apparently I was the only one that saw that coming. Paycheck 3 was going to go to User again until I said that unless it went to Scamp's visa application I was going to put Tnuc back on a plane for Manila. Tnuc does not contribute any money to paying the bills at our house. She tries to play Santa Clause and make herself look important by sending all her money back to the Philippines. She thinks because my wife is her daughter that it is our responsibility to support her while she wastes all her money sending it to the Philippines. She even gets angry at us if we don't buy her food when she is out of money.

Anyway now that you know the highlights of the drama, (there is much, more that I didn't get into), here is our dilemma. Both my wife and I want to send Tnuc back to the Philippines ASAP but Scamp is not here yet. We are worried that if his sponsor has left the US he will not be given a visa. He has been approved but based on his priority date we estimate that there will not be a visa available for him until this time next year. I have spent time with Scamp back in 2004, 2005 and 2009 when I was in Manila. It was like he was my kid brother not just my Brother-In-Law and I know it will make my wife so happy to have him here but I don't know how much longer we can put up with Tnuc. So can anyone tell me if he would still get his visa if Tnuc was already back in the Philippines? Or should I just consult a lawyer?

GuapoPogi

[Pragati Soni 4]

My Advise: Avoid writing dramatic emails confusing people, if you are seeking genuine help.

Questions: a) Is your mother inlaw a US citizen?

b) What was the category of immigrant visa filed for your kid brother inlaw is it F2b or F2A?

Note that Sponsor (your mother inlaw ) has to be in the US when the immigration process is active ie when the files open for paperwork unless the sponsor is working for a US government or a US body overseas?

[belinda63 3,039]

She needs to be in the US as the visa is for family reunification.

[Shauneg 762]

Besides what everyone else says..you can't send your mother in law back. You don't own her and can't make here do anything, why do you think you can?

[GuapoPogi 0]

My Advise: Avoid writing dramatic emails confusing people, if you are seeking genuine help.

Questions: a) Is your mother inlaw a US citizen?

No she is only a permanent resident.

b) What was the category of immigrant visa filed for your kid brother inlaw is it F2b or F2A?

Note that Sponsor (your mother inlaw ) has to be in the US when the immigration process is active ie when the files open for paperwork unless the sponsor is working for a US government or a US body overseas?

She is only a permanent resident. I do not remember what his category is.

You answered my question though, Tnuc has to stay here until he gets his visa. Not what I wanted to hear but it is what I needed to know.

Thank-you.

She needs to be in the US as the visa is for family reunification.

Again not what we wanted to hear but what I needed to know.

Thank-you.

Besides what everyone else says..you can't send your mother in law back. You don't own her and can't make here do anything, why do you think you can?

Well, my wife and I did not sponsor Tnuc so she could come to our country and break our laws stealing from people at her work and making us look bad. When a family member is stealing from someone you introduced them to, it makes you look bad too. Anyway when I posted my question I was quite angry with Tnuc for something else or I would have posted the question without the drama. She got fired from another job last week and might end up arrested and deported before Scamp gets here anyway which will make this thread irrelevant. In reply to the tone of your post I will say. I do not steal, do drugs or cheat on my wife, I loath and detest thieves, drug addicts and adulterers and had I known that Tnuc would be doing these things in my country I would have never sponsored her in the first place.

[chillin4me 15]

Since you or your wife signed the affidavit of support she will be your obligation.

You may want to consult your wife about looking for an apartment for your mother-in-law so she can be responsible for herself. She can get a job, able to support herself if she needed to and out of your house...

If she still continues to do bad things, you don't have a choice, because you cannot force her to do something she doesn't want to do. And as for your brother in law, he can study hard, get a job, apply for job somewhere else like Canada... or your wife can petition him. and it may take up to 20yrs but it will eventually come. Time runs so fast.

[Boiler 45,659]

Sounds like you knew exactly what you were getting into and it came to pass.

Your wife is on the hook for certain mean tested benefits under the terms of the I 864.

You do not get to send her back, you certainly do not need to house her.

[thairath 4]

Does your MIL even want to be here in the US or would she rather go back to live w/her boyfriend? Also, it doesn't even sound like this is going to get better once your BIL gets here. Where would the MIL go to live then? Would she and your BIL get a place together?

Sorry, I know this doesn't answer your question, but would be something to perhaps consider as you sort out the immediate problems. Sounds like a nasty situation for you and your wife - messy any way you look at it. Maybe if your MIL were forced to fend for herself for a time she might figure out that she needs money to fend for herself and that sending all of her money back home isn't going to work. Hope you are able to come to a manageable solution for all of this soon...