My K1 marriage

[jandjin 19]

run run while you can. Like others said you must leave him. You will NOT be in trouble leaving him. You'll be in trouble if you don't.

[GurkenSalat 48]

Hey thank you everyone.

Yes, we met on February 2013. I been married for 14 month already. I lived in USA already 17 month with him. He just change after we got married and its getting worse and worse.

I have SSN but Im waiting for my SS card.

Im scared to leave him because I don't want to be in trouble. And also scared to live with him.

It still doesn't seems real. I don't know how he could change so much. Once we married he just lied to me. He always hide from me everything( putting password, putting all his stuff in his safe in our appartment). He is so secretive guy.

After we filed joint tax return he told me that it's his money and not my. He just said me that he has to teach me why its only his money. He said if I don't work I dont get money. He doesn't want to open up a bank account which he always said me "I dont need that"

You won't be in trouble if you leave him! He is an abuser! It's far more trouble to stay with him. Listen to the other people on the thread, they have good advice.

[raven52 233]

Do not walk out of that situation,.,.,.,RUN!!! Far, far away.

[Boiler 45,913]

I agree with everybody else, time to head home.

[VFittipaldi 30]

Kick this loser to the curb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ASAP...

If you read the AOS guidelines it clearly states that if you entered the marriage in good faith but things did not work out for (abuse or some other reason) and you get divorced you have a good chance of still getting your 10 year green card and staying here. You would have to send an explanation letter and so on but is a small price to pay.

Please do not be another victim of abuse because this is very clearly abuse. Please do ask for help whenever you need it. I am worried about you because this is not right. Also you can write me to the personal mail if you wish, stay strong and leave as soon as possible!

PS: You do not necessarily have to wait for the SS Card, they can send you the new one later. As long as you have the number you are ok.

Edited September 14, 2015 by VFittipaldi

[Ann2490 0]

I really appreciate all of your advices that were given to me here. It really means a lot to read all the support out there and has made me think harder about my current situation. Thank you so much! I know that I deserve someone better and just cant imagine that hes 30 and Im 21, but I feel like the mature one in our marriage. Im tired of feeling scared and trapped to someone who continues to use threats and connotes to make me feel bad about myself.

Today I wanted to see if he could change, and make it work, but today he told me how I should wash my clothes. Then he began to get loud and complain how bad I am, that I take very long showers. That's just crazy. I can't believe that. This went on for almost 2 hours, "god", of him yelling at me, that I need to learn and that he would teach me again.

Many husbands would love for their wives to look beautiful for them, but thats not the case. He just continues to put me down every chance he gets. When I talk with people they always tell me how good my English is and he tells me you cant speak my language and your just bad. He said does people dont live with you, so they dont know anything.

Everyone always tells me how beautiful I am and theyre very nice to me, but he never does this with me. Only when he was writing to me when I was in Ukraine back in 2013, and when we first met and the 1st and 2nd months before we got married, last year in July 2014. He just lied about everything. He really believes that I dont know. I know.

He expected (basically Im going) me to go next week with him in Spokane to his friends wedding. He never asked me do I want to go. Im his propriety so I should go. He rented himself a suit but doesn't want to buy me a dress. His answer, I dont need that, he told me, thats too much money again.

Anyways I dont want to go because all the drinking involved and his friends love to smoke so, so much, I dont drink and dont like his friends, very rude, and I mean rude people. I went to his brother wedding in July 2015 and he left me there all alone and I was by myself for the whole wedding, while he and his friends went drinking and partying. Every day he makes me feel so upset and disappointed in myself s and that Im not good enough for him.

I know that he should be lucky to have someone beautiful like me, that actually loves him, but thats not his mindset. His favorite thing to do is yell at me, tell me how bad I am, teach me whats right and whats wrong, and boss me around. I know my relationship is not good and after 14 months of marriage, living together and 3 years of dating, Im tired of the verbal abuse. I tired of the abuse, just for him to feel good about himself. I dont want to be his punching bag no more.

Also I found out that I was not the first young lady he tried to marry from my country in Ukraine. She was the lucky one. She told him no that hes weird. She saw passed his lies and I did not.(

[TBoneTX 45,865]

Congratulations and respect to you for recognizing the character qualities (flaws) that you mention.

[rlogan 2,036]

Also I found out that I was not the first young lady he tried to marry from my country in Ukraine. She was the lucky one. She told him no that hes weird. She saw passed his lies and I did not.(

When you said he changed after the marriage, that is partially true: people with personality disorders conceal what they can of themselves while manipulating us into a dependency on them. Afterwards the monster is fully revealed.

But the real problem for you is overlooking the red flags this other young lady recognized: excusing away the inconsistencies, the odd behavior, and in particular the abusive nature. Trust your gut instincts - when something seems wrong, it is!

[UkrainianLady 0]

Sorry to hear what is going on, I am also from Ukraine, my husband treats me nice, I am lucky to have him as husband.

You need to get out of this relationship.

Communication is very important between both of you. If he ignores you it is not good.

I really appreciate all of your advices that were given to me here. It really means a lot to read all the support out there and has made me think harder about my current situation. Thank you so much! I know that I deserve someone better and just cant imagine that hes 30 and Im 21, but I feel like the mature one in our marriage. Im tired of feeling scared and trapped to someone who continues to use threats and connotes to make me feel bad about myself.

Today I wanted to see if he could change, and make it work, but today he told me how I should wash my clothes. Then he began to get loud and complain how bad I am, that I take very long showers. That's just crazy. I can't believe that. This went on for almost 2 hours, "god", of him yelling at me, that I need to learn and that he would teach me again.

Many husbands would love for their wives to look beautiful for them, but thats not the case. He just continues to put me down every chance he gets. When I talk with people they always tell me how good my English is and he tells me you cant speak my language and your just bad. He said does people dont live with you, so they dont know anything.

Everyone always tells me how beautiful I am and theyre very nice to me, but he never does this with me. Only when he was writing to me when I was in Ukraine back in 2013, and when we first met and the 1st and 2nd months before we got married, last year in July 2014. He just lied about everything. He really believes that I dont know. I know.

He expected (basically Im going) me to go next week with him in Spokane to his friends wedding. He never asked me do I want to go. Im his propriety so I should go. He rented himself a suit but doesn't want to buy me a dress. His answer, I dont need that, he told me, thats too much money again.

Anyways I dont want to go because all the drinking involved and his friends love to smoke so, so much, I dont drink and dont like his friends, very rude, and I mean rude people. I went to his brother wedding in July 2015 and he left me there all alone and I was by myself for the whole wedding, while he and his friends went drinking and partying. Every day he makes me feel so upset and disappointed in myself s and that Im not good enough for him.

I know that he should be lucky to have someone beautiful like me, that actually loves him, but thats not his mindset. His favorite thing to do is yell at me, tell me how bad I am, teach me whats right and whats wrong, and boss me around. I know my relationship is not good and after 14 months of marriage, living together and 3 years of dating, Im tired of the verbal abuse. I tired of the abuse, just for him to feel good about himself. I dont want to be his punching bag no more.

Also I found out that I was not the first young lady he tried to marry from my country in Ukraine. She was the lucky one. She told him no that hes weird. She saw passed his lies and I did not.(

Edited September 16, 2015 by UkrainianLady

[nane1104 146]

If you can avoid going to this friends wedding, use that time to get out and never look back!

Just please be careful, don't do anything he can find out about before he is gone. Maybe play along that you will go and then pretend you are sick on the last minute.

I am glad you are now starting to see what others have seen before. Love can really make us blind, sometimes.

[Georgia16 2,858]

Just wanted to hear how things are going with you OP? ....

[TBoneTX 45,865]

The OP hasn't logged on since October 2 (a full month).

[Georgia16 2,858]

The OP hasn't logged on since October 2 (a full month).

Okay sorry hadn't seen that.