Disapproved K-1 visa

[Unidentified 2,930]

You shouldn't build a relationship with her son only for the visa! You're planning to spend the rest of your life with this person, and you're not even interested in her own kid - who's going to be your step son?

Also... how come you only visited her once for 4 days?

Maybe, instead of spending money on visas, you should spend some money on another plane ticket, and get to know her and her son first.

Good luck!

Exactly!

[Ash.1101 1,756]

I agree on stop spending money on the visas and/or sending her so much money and saving up for another plane ticket.

As for the person who was shocked someone asked if she was willing to leave her six year old behind. The OP answered that yes, she is willing to leave her six year old son behind.

This whole thing just wreaks of you two wanting to be together at unreasonable costs, like some kind of toxic blind love.

We tell you to have a relationship with her son, you ask what exactly are the requirements. It's hard to believe that someone who already has a child doesn't understand parent/child bonding.

It honestly looks like you'll just do what ever is needed to get your fiance here. And not in the loving sense that most people here do. People are willing to extend this process years to make sure it's done right. You want her here now, at the bare minimum, no matter the cost to her son, and apparently she's the same way.

If the requirements were nothing, would you even bother trying to meet him before he's living in his house? Normal people would answer yes, but this case is far from normal.


Everyone's offered their advice, at no point have you said that you agree you should go back. All you've agree'd to is that you're just going to refile and try again in a month and or appeal your current denial. The people who have fought for their love didn't just repeatedly refile, they did something to make their case stronger, they worked hard on their case and their relationship. Don't mistaken "it took us years" with "it took us refiling 7 times and doing nothing different in between".

As someone said you seem to be ignoring things, the one thing you SHOULDN'T ignore is the advice to go there again and meet the boy BEFORE he's moved in with you.

If this whole relationship feels like a struggle and you're sighing or getting irritated that people are telling you to go back and see your fiance for more than 4 days and meet her son, then relationships in general with children involved may not be for you, at least at this current point in time.

Edited September 13, 2015 by Ash.1101

[Fan_Dancer 171]

I disagree with you all. I don't think there should be an expectation for anyone to be a step-parent. If I had children and re-married, I would not want my husband to be more than a friendly adult figure in my children's lives.

[puffers 14]

I disagree with you all. I don't think there should be an expectation for anyone to be a step-parent. If I had children and re-married, I would not want my husband to be more than a friendly adult figure in my children's lives.

That's not the point. The point is that she wants to bring this child to the states and make it live with her new partner without even introducing them.

You can be a friendly adult figure or a new parent, either way they should meet before she and the child move to another country (does the child even know English?) and live with him.

[Ontarkie 14,498]

I'm just going to put it out there as you seem to be missing what some have already told you.

You will not get any visa approved unless you can over come the issues that led to both of the denials. Going there getting married will not solve it, starting a new petition for just the mother is not going to solve it. They will already know about both denials and will want to see what you have done to over come it. Not just throw another petition together.

[mark-n-daisy 9]

Thank you everyone for all your help and comments. Good or bad they show that everyone has a different opinion. I just received an email from the Manila embassy. They said she never scheduled or attended the medical or interviews. I was scammed. This really breaks my heart. All the sleepless nights and sacrifices I endured for the last 10 months were for nothing. How could someone be so cruel? And now I am in financial ruin. I wonder if she can be prosecuted for what she has done to me?

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Thank you everyone for all your help and comments. Good or bad they show that everyone has a different opinion. I just received an email from the Manila embassy. They said she never scheduled or attended the medical or interviews. I was scammed. This really breaks my heart. All the sleepless nights and sacrifices I endured for the last 10 months were for nothing. How could someone be so cruel? And now I am in financial ruin. I wonder if she can be prosecuted for what she has done to me?

No she can't be as far as I know. An expensive lesson

[Unidentified 2,930]

No she can't be as far as I know. An expensive lesson

Lesson nr 1: spend way more than 4 days with someone before you decide you want to marry them.

[Project_Harajuku 28]

Lesson nr 1: spend way more than 4 days with someone before you decide you want to marry them.

Agreed, I've seen this situation so many times on this forum.

OP I'm sorry that this happened to you. Have you tried contacting her to get her side of the story?

[Ontarkie 14,498]

I was hoping that was not what was going on here. I would not be surprised if she didn't have a few other guys on the go either.

I would not be contacting her for her side at all, you have the truth. There's no need to hear her try to twist it to get a few more bucks out of you.

Edited September 14, 2015 by Ontarkie

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Very sorry to hear that.

That's why it's important and why I mentioned to not stay in a hotel but to stay at her place and see who comes and goes.

I suspected this when you said she didn't want to let you see her son.

Scammers like her string along men for money and never show up for the interview, I am sure you are one of many she toyed with.

Inform the embassy in an email and USCIS so she won't get far in case she decides to file a k1 in the future with someone, include a copy

of the NOA2.

It hurts but you will get over it in time. If there is ever a next time with someone else, make sure you don't brush off all the little red flags you

probably questioned and felt uneasy about, the times she did not answer the phone, the secrecy about her son and family, it will all make sense now

one by one in hindsight.

I wish you well and may you find someone who truly loves you.

Get to know someone really well, be it on or offline before getting into a relationship. There are some real nut cakes in the US as well as overseas.

It's important to break ties and walk away as they will do and say anything to get you back as their personal ATM.

Don't fall for it.

[cristina16 81]

Omg! I am sorry this happened to you mark. Everything was just a lie; unbelievable how some people go to that extent only for money.

A relationship is a 2 way street. We really need to spend time to get to know the other person before we go any further. If you are doing and giving everything for her/ him; stop and think if she/he is just doing this for the money or for what gets from you. What if one day you said no and cannot give what she is asking? if your pick up line is "i can give you everything", imagine what are you painting. This often results to abuse. I don't believe that you have to send money and support your fiancee; these people can work. They survived without you, having you should not be like winning a lottery. Unless that is what you are trying to portray. This has becomming a norm, level the expectations.

This k1 process is emotionally filed and costly ride. Good luck to all of us.

[Ash.1101 1,756]

Agree'd on spending time to make sure you know they're the one and the right one. My fiance and I knew we wanted to get married within a few months, but it wasn't until four more trips here did we decide that yes, let's do this. If we could do long distance dating for two years and it not destroy us and we put in as much effort for us as possible, then yes, we can do it. We've spent more time in the dating phase than the visa phase at this point just because we wanted to make sure all our ducks were in a row and this is going to work.

I agree on the above poster as well about the money. If you send money make sure you make an effort to continuously visit, as I said earlier, to make sure where that money is going. While I understand there was a lot of trust, the trust was based on an emotional connection with a woman you spent four days with. If early on the person you're dating is hinting for money, then that relationship will be based around money. Asking for some gas money and asking for paying for very large things are very different. Also like someone else said, 20$ USD goes a long way there.

I do believe you can report her to USCIS but that's it. It seems like she knows enough about the process to where this isn't the first time she's done it. If you feel she knows the process to well, she most likely has.
She could also potentially go by many names, which if she never makes it to the interview or medical, she'll never be caught.


I wish you the best of luck and I hope that the next relationship you approach, you do so wanting to spend more time with the person and being involved in their lives by making an effort to be with them, less about money, like others said, they survived before you came along.

Edited September 14, 2015 by Ash.1101

[mark-n-daisy 9]

Very sorry to hear that.

That's why it's important and why I mentioned to not stay in a hotel but to stay at her place and see who comes and goes.

I suspected this when you said she didn't want to let you see her son.

Scammers like her string along men for money and never show up for the interview, I am sure you are one of many she toyed with.

Inform the embassy in an email and USCIS so she won't get far in case she decides to file a k1 in the future with someone, include a copy

of the NOA2.

It hurts but you will get over it in time. If there is ever a next time with someone else, make sure you don't brush off all the little red flags you

probably questioned and felt uneasy about, the times she did not answer the phone, the secrecy about her son and family, it will all make sense now

one by one in hindsight.

I wish you well and may you find someone who truly loves you.

Get to know someone really well, be it on or offline before getting into a relationship. There are some real nut cakes in the US as well as overseas.

It's important to break ties and walk away as they will do and say anything to get you back as their personal ATM.

Don't fall for it.

Great advice. I was very vulnerable at that time because of my divorce and so I disregarded all the red flags. I'll spot them a mile away next time.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

You can also find a romance scammer web site online and add her email address(es) photos and name as a warning to others.