Disapproved K-1 visa

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Thanks for all your replies so far although I don't agree with some of them and I still don't know what to do about our current rejection. In my defense the 5 days I visited her son was in school and her sister watched him while she was with me. I love and care for him more than you know, I just couldn't met him at that time. Since day one I have been paying for his school, graduation, transportation and supplies, plus hundreds of dollars when he got sick with pneumonia. That is why I could not bear to wait another year to petition him after Aileen (follow on visa). I wanted them to fly here together as a family. I can't imagine a 6 year old flying here alone. I feel our relationship should not be judged by just photos together. It's the effort you put in to help them. I did not email him because they don't have a computer or internet. One replied I didn't invest enough money to make this work. The $4000 I spent was only for the medical, interviews, flight and hotels for one month. Total spent is well over $10,000 in the last 8 months. I think what my real point I'm trying to make is the embassy has their own view point on how a couple should act to prove they are in love and want to marry. Everyone is not the same. They need to be more flexible. This is a more digital age where communication is not like it used to be. FYI, I have 2 jobs and still have to support a house and daughter from my previous marriage so when all my savings was spent I had to consider her too in deciding if I should go further in debt to make this work. Maybe I should wait a year, save more money, and try again.

I posted what to do earlier.

1. Contact your senator/congressman and request another interview to submit more evidence.

2. Go there and be present for that interview with your evidence (new photos, communication proof etc...) or at least be on the premises

if not allowed in to show support and a visit. If your petition is still at the embassy you have a small chance.

OR

1. Marry and file a CR1.

2. File another K1 if your petition has been returned to USCIS.

Questions you did not answer : Did you file 2 petitions or one petition (and had 2 interviews) ?

Was she given a 221g and what was marked or written on it ? Have her scan it to you.

Did you contact the embassy for another interview ?

To guide you further we need the details of where your case is now, at the embassy or returned to USCIS.

On your next petition please follow the exact steps in the guides for either the K1 or the CR1 whatever you decide

and come here to ask questions before you send in the petition if something is not clear.

It just isn't that easy to file and be successful.

I hope you can salvage this petition/K1application and still be approved but that would take major action NOW, TODAY on your part,

starting with emailing / calling the embassy, contacting the senator for a request for 3rd interview, gathering more evidence and a flight

to your fiance if granted another interview.

If not approved while you are there then marry and file a CR1.

[MRS1 4]

The folks here all offer very good advice and insight. It's very touching to read the experiences of the many couples who have had to endure exceptional circumstances and financial and emotional sacrifice and very long periods of separation. It reaffirms my belief in my own relationship with my wife and her son.

In your case, your lack of a relationship with the child of your fiancée is most likely the reason you have experienced denial. You need to establish a strong and loving relationship with him in the same way as your own daughter. If you love this woman as much as you should, then giving up should never be an option. It simply should have never crossed your mind. While it is normal to have doubt, your love for this woman AND her son should and must supersede all thought of defeat or simply walking away. I know that none of us on this post would ever consider what you have expressed here.

Spend more time with your fiancé. Develop a meaningful, paternal relationship with her son. If possible, write letters. Take photos together. Love her. Don't give up. People in love don't ever give up. However, if your fiance's commitment to you is not strong, or if you have doubts, why then that's another story altogether and your expression of defeat makes sense.

I suggest that you hire an immigration attorney who can alleviate the stress associated with your ordeal, and who will help clarify to you your previous errors, much in the very same way as the excellent folks on this board have pointed out.

[WandY 430]

I've spent a lot of $$$ too - all of us do. But it's about love, not money. Pay for her Internet service and a cheap laptop, if she needs one. Skype and e-mail a lot and get logs (Skyping via cell phone, too, but logs can be problematic). We Skype twice a day and send e-mails often. I just filed the I-129F a few weeks ago and have already planned another visit for December. I will spend my Christmas in her village, with family and friends - plus we are having a Vietnamese engagement ceremony while I am there. You should take photos beyond a karaoke bar - maybe something like landmarks, parks, sightseeing, with her child, etc. Everyone has access to a camera today - take a lot of photos.

This is a difficult process. You seem to be trying to get by with minimal effort, but maybe you didn't understand the seriousness of the issues facing immigration officials. With the upcoming U.S. election season, normalizing relations with Cuba, flood of illegal immigrants across southern states, and the worsening Syrian refugee situation - well, American borders could get tougher to cross.

Good luck!

[tomyka81 95]

based on your remarks about the son, I would disapprove you too. Not that I don't think her love for you is genuine, but your reciprocity for her (through her son) is absolutely not there and with a good mother, this will inevitably lead to divorce anyway possibly within the first two years. Furthermore, as I write this, any woman who can stand for a man to have that attitude towards their flesh and blood, need to reconsider their motives for the relationship. A marriage is about the combining of two families. I would never ever ever marry a man who doesn't love my son the same or even more than he loves me. I would die for my son and I expect my husband (regardless of biology) to do the same. This is the first and last warning sign for me, is a man who is not interested in my child or his welfare. If the guy and my son do not bond, I am out.

[Gregory&Dyn 113]

I may be wrong here, but this sounds very one-sided on your part. Sure, you forked over some hefty $$$ and did a bit of traveling, but that's it. Love is unconditional, just because it doesn't work out the way you want it to shouldn't mean you throw in the towel. What's the matter with you? Is this a relationship of convenience? Get over it and go there and be with her and her son. How dare you let this woman fall in love with you, take on her child as if he is just extra baggage, and then end the relationship because her visa wasn't approved. THAT IS NOT HOW LOVE WORKS.

What will happen later in your marriage if something doesn't go as planned? Will you just leave her then as well? If you love this woman, you must do at least two things.

1. Accept and love her son as if he is your own (regardless of who the father is)

2. Fight. Find a way to spend the rest of your lives together. Move there. Marry her. File for a CR1. Try the K1 again. Anything, but keep trying.

It seems pathetic to me that you would just give up. She deserves more.

[Kiwan 6]

Look I know a lots of people are going to slam my post, but what did you spend ten thousands dollars on in 8 Months if you only spent 4 days in physical presence with your fiancé.

I am looking at it from a CO point of view, are you being used? You don't know the child well, you have spent a large amount of money, with very little physical contact. The beneficiary came unprepared for the interview, and she probably didn't answers some questions correctly enough for the CO.

I am not writing this so you can respond, but as a mind thought question for you to ask yourself.

It is the CO responsibility to protect both parties involved in these petitions, the petitioner from being used for a GC, and the Beneficiary from future abuse. Did your interview demonstrate that neither of these were possible conditions of the relationship?

[Kiwan 6]

Look I know a lots of people are going to slam my post, but what did you spend ten thousands dollars on in 8 Months if you only spent 4 days in physical presence with your fiancé.

I am looking at it from a CO point of view, are you being used? You don't know the child well, you have spent a large amount of money, with very little physical contact. The beneficiary came unprepared for the interview, and she probably didn't answers some questions correctly enough for the CO.

I am not writing this so you can respond, but as a mind thought question for you to ask yourself.

It is the CO responsibility to protect both parties involved in these petitions, the petitioner from being used for a GC, and the Beneficiary from future abuse. Did your interview demonstrate that neither of these were possible conditions of the relationship?

Total agree.useing for green card and eating money,she got lottery to have u in both ways.even 1$ can get Many phillipines rupees. Sorry to say.u will b kicked out soon when u will let her know that u don't want to work on visa and don't have money to judge.u will get ans ur self after emotional end,good luck,

[Unidentified 2,930]

Total agree.useing for green card and eating money,she got lottery to have u in both ways.even 1$ can get Many phillipines rupees. Sorry to say.u will b kicked out soon when u will let her know that u don't want to work on visa and don't have money to judge.u will get ans ur self after emotional end,good luck,

Well if you're going to through in the green card and "eating money" in the mix let's look at the other side of that coin... How about him just looking for a wife? Would explain his non-interest in the son and sudden "I'm just going to throw in the towel".

[Alaska2012 462]

Maybe it's a good thing you don't get it approved. If you are going to keep up that attitude towards her son you guys are doomed to fail.

Had my husband had that kind of attitude towards my son back in the day I would never had married him!

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Total agree.useing for green card and eating money,she got lottery to have u in both ways.even 1$ can get Many phillipines rupees. Sorry to say.u will b kicked out soon when u will let her know that u don't want to work on visa and don't have money to judge.u will get ans ur self after emotional end,good luck,

That is an assumption. You mean to tell me your fiance/spouse didn't blow at least that much on you when petitioning you here .....twice ?

Just because you were kicked out or returned to your country without marrying on a K1 doesn't mean that this will happen to everyone.

Please stop the speculation on OP's fiance and read again what he spend it on, I doubt it was for her living in absolute wealth and hardly

compares to winning the lottery.

[Anthony and Becky 6]

If they're looking for pictures and taking pictures isn't your priority, make it your priority or continue dealing with rejections. If you're uprooting her son, you should also make him a priority.

[Lowlie 191]

My husband's long distance relationship with my son was one of the things we made sure to provide evidence of, back when we went through the K1 process.

If he had NOT had a relationship with my son, I would NOT have wanted to marry him. A child from a previous relationship is not baggage that just comes along with the package. When you marry someone with a child still at home, you are becoming that child's step FATHER or MOTHER. You have a HUGE RESPONSIBILITY TO THAT CHILD, which is equal to the responsibility you have to your spouse. Every child WANTS and DESERVES to have a step-parent who is emotionally involved in their life.

This is going to seem quite harsh, but in this case, I feel it's warranted. The way you talk about your fiancé's son, I feel that your fiancée is better off without this marriage. Her child needs an enthusiastically involved step-father. Let your fiancée move on, and I pray her son will soon have a step-dad who loves him, and looks forward to taking part in raising him.

[Adil & Jeanne 296]

i have to agree with Ebunoluwa

Met my husband in October 2008 and spent a month with him and his family the whole month of June 2009

applied for K 1 and was denied

went back and we married march 2010

reapplied

huge RFE

was denied again and did appeal

won appeal but they said reapply

all in all i traveled 5 times for total of 9 months in Morocco and quit counting after $35000 on just what i had to do for immigration

took us 6 years to get this visa

i know all of his family and he knows all about me

My younest son is living back with me now as he has had 5 surgeries in 13 months. my husband talked online to him/ sent birthday cards thru 123 greetings online as they are free and can be printed out

When adil came to US my son gave him a Jeep Cherokee so the closeness has been good for both

and if you think a son will come and live with you but you don't need to know him, you are so wrong

[Zats&Bryan 30]

I must agree with most repliers here. If the CO does not see a real relationship with, who might be, one of the most important people in her life then... you will be definitely denied. A wife is way just more than just a female living at your house, giving you pleasure and happiness. If I was the Co i would have seen the first red flag pretty fast if i had noticed you did not have a meaningful relationship with any of the step kids. Common sense. You just do not marry the woman. You marry her whole family. That is how most latino families work.

[Zats&Bryan 30]

My husband's long distance relationship with my son was one of the things we made sure to provide evidence of, back when we went through the K1 process. Smart move and congrats to you!!! ... but yet... common sense for most of us.

If he had NOT had a relationship with my son, I would NOT have wanted to marry him. ​A really smart move... for her own happiness and better yet... her kids!!! A child from a previous relationship is not baggage that just comes along with the package. When you marry someone with a child still at home, you are becoming that child's step FATHER or MOTHER. You have a HUGE RESPONSIBILITY TO THAT CHILD, please notice how it is about the child... not about you and your spouse and yet... that child is part of that one you truly love, so you have to be willing to do whatever it takes to make THE CHILD HAPPY. Of course, every situation is different. which is equal to the responsibility you have to your spouse. Every child WANTS and DESERVES to have a step-parent who is emotionally involved in their life. This is so right!!! I cannot even see why someone would argue against this!!

This is going to seem quite harsh, but in this case, I feel it's warranted. The way you talk about your fiancé's son, I feel that your fiancée is better off without this marriage. Her child needs an enthusiastically involved step-father. Right again!!! you just do not marry the girl... you marry her kids and if you cannot deal with them then... she might be just too much for you. Let your fiancée move on, she truly deserves this... you have no idea what to be in her shoes is like and I pray her son will soon have a step-dad who loves him, and looks forward to taking part in raising him. <----they are right. Let them be happy. Let that brave woman find whoever is the best one for her and her family. And be happy knowing you did the right thing.