Kind of complicated story.. ideas appreciated~

[JenT 0]

OP- You're well spoken, I'll give you that. And I wish you well.

My final advice? Take other's advice as I have for advice on childrearing.... eventually, you have to do for yourself, make your own decisions, and experience your own consequences. You know who's advice you can trust and who's you can disregard. On a public, relatively anonymous board such as this, you're going to get a variety of opinions.... as you would in real-life, I'd imagine. Listen, and move on. We won't remember you in 10 years, if any of us are around here that long.... all we can do is advise as we know things today, based on the limited information provided. None of us have a vested interest in your outcome... only you do.

Jen

Edited March 8, 2007 by JenT

[Fandango 1,439]

OP, I didn't tell you not to get married, I told you to be careful...I advised you read up on the other forum here how int'l failed marriages have the potential to go so horribly bad (I'd reccomend that to anyone here despite age btw), and to prepare yourself to be able to stand on your own if need be. If that's unwanted advice, well no big shakes! As Jen said, it really means nothing to any of us, but it could mean everything to you.

Again, this is not a paid help desk. You want that? Get a lawyer. Or don't divulge so much personal information when you're asking questions

Good luck!

[Marina + Dave 0]

Hey OP!

At one point you asked about how much the process costs....

No one can give you an exact amount -or even a rough amount!- of how much it costs cause it depends on where you are, what your situation is, etc! For instance, people in Scotland here in the UK have to travel to London for their interview and medical. While others, like us! who live in London already, don't have to pay that price. As you can imagine, that can make a huge difference!

I'm also part of the way through the process, but I've been tracking how much it has cost us along the way and thought I'd share. Another thing to note about our case is that both Dave and I (the USC) live in the UK. Therefore, we did not/do not have to mail things back and forth before mailing them off to the US. We have all the documents here together and we can sign everything together before we send them off. And remember, we're only part of the way through the process....so we have lots more to pay!

Here you go:

Oh the Costs of Marrying a Foreigner

*All $ are in USD unless otherwise specified*

Passport Photos: £7 = $13.77

Mailing the I-129F to Georgia: £10.11 = $19.88

Mailing the I-129F to USCIS: $20

Processing Fee of I-129F: $170

UK Name and Background Check: £10 = $19.23

Fingerprint fee to City of London Police: £15 = $28.88

Processing fee to Australian Federal Police: AUD $103 = USD $79.98

Total in USD: $351.74

Total in AUD: $454.64

Total in GBP: £182.11

Feeling when we finally get approved: Priceless

Keep in mind that's not including the BIG price coming up of £160 (or $397.99 AUD) for the medical...and even more for the vaccines! EEkS!

[DA BOMB 1]

OP, I didn't tell you not to get married, I told you to be careful...I advised you read up on the other forum here how int'l failed marriages have the potential to go so horribly bad (I'd reccomend that to anyone here despite age btw), and to prepare yourself to be able to stand on your own if need be. If that's unwanted advice, well no big shakes! As Jen said, it really means nothing to any of us, but it could mean everything to you.

Again, this is not a paid help desk. You want that? Get a lawyer. Or don't divulge so much personal information when you're asking questions

Good luck!

ARGH! Sometimes I wonder if you even read what you type. Serious Ms Lisa. The only mistake the OP made was listing a two digit number being her AGE. This forum sometimes NEEDS to suck the information out of a person in order to fully answer their specific question. If you read between the lines of your previous posts you DID tell her not to get married. You sat there and decided she was only trying to get in the US because she was running from her life at home. You TYPED THAT! I hardly think she divulged her entire personal life on this forum - you just picked apart what little she offered to share!! She doesnt need a lawyer - she needs you to quit humping her leg.

[DA BOMB 1]

Hey OP!

At one point you asked about how much the process costs....

No one can give you an exact amount -or even a rough amount!- of how much it costs cause it depends on where you are, what your situation is, etc! For instance, people in Scotland here in the UK have to travel to London for their interview and medical. While others, like us! who live in London already, don't have to pay that price. As you can imagine, that can make a huge difference!

I'm also part of the way through the process, but I've been tracking how much it has cost us along the way and thought I'd share. Another thing to note about our case is that both Dave and I (the USC) live in the UK. Therefore, we did not/do not have to mail things back and forth before mailing them off to the US. We have all the documents here together and we can sign everything together before we send them off. And remember, we're only part of the way through the process....so we have lots more to pay!

Here you go:

Oh the Costs of Marrying a Foreigner

*All $ are in USD unless otherwise specified*

Passport Photos: £7 = $13.77

Mailing the I-129F to Georgia: £10.11 = $19.88

Mailing the I-129F to USCIS: $20

Processing Fee of I-129F: $170

UK Name and Background Check: £10 = $19.23

Fingerprint fee to City of London Police: £15 = $28.88

Processing fee to Australian Federal Police: AUD $103 = USD $79.98

Total in USD: $351.74

Total in AUD: $454.64

Total in GBP: £182.11

Feeling when we finally get approved: Priceless

Keep in mind that's not including the BIG price coming up of £160 (or $397.99 AUD) for the medical...and even more for the vaccines! EEkS!

The government is making a killing off these applications. Tell me again WHY is the nation in debt?? Thanks for adding this up Marina + Dave. If my guy bales on me I know what to sue him for.

[Fandango 1,439]

OP, I didn't tell you not to get married, I told you to be careful...I advised you read up on the other forum here how int'l failed marriages have the potential to go so horribly bad (I'd reccomend that to anyone here despite age btw), and to prepare yourself to be able to stand on your own if need be. If that's unwanted advice, well no big shakes! As Jen said, it really means nothing to any of us, but it could mean everything to you.

Again, this is not a paid help desk. You want that? Get a lawyer. Or don't divulge so much personal information when you're asking questions

Good luck!

ARGH! Sometimes I wonder if you even read what you type. Serious Ms Lisa. The only mistake the OP made was listing a two digit number being her AGE. This forum sometimes NEEDS to suck the information out of a person in order to fully answer their specific question. If you read between the lines of your previous posts you DID tell her not to get married. You sat there and decided she was only trying to get in the US because she was running from her life at home. You TYPED THAT! I hardly think she divulged her entire personal life on this forum - you just picked apart what little she offered to share!! She doesnt need a lawyer - she needs you to quit humping her leg.

I said it seems to me she's transferring her dependence from her family to her fiance. And it does. And if you can sit here and tell me that I told her not to get married, well just show me where I said that.

Go read the 'Effects' forum. People who cannot work, cannot drive, cannot leave the country and come back in...and their spouses do all these crazy things that leave the non-USC at the mercy of others. It's not particularly wise to come over with no education, no set job skills, and think 'oh I'm set cos my fiance's family will employ me' That's great...but what if summat goes wrong...what can the OP do to pull herself out of it if her hands are tied from the gov't? It's all well and good to hear stories of 'hey I left home at X age and now I'm great' but at the end of the day, there's an emigration thrown into the mix which complicates everything. And these are real issues that the OP needs to worry about.

I didn't call her 'kid' like someone else...I didn't call her names or call her stupid like someone else. But I'm certainly not gonna be all 'hey it'll all be great!' loosely based on the fact that I and the women before me in my family have history of going out on my own (in my own country). This is a completely different scenario here. You wanna sit here and blow sunshine, that's great....I'm more of a 'better be prepared' person. But I have to wonder for someone like you who's already voiced a problem with the content of my posts and has said I shouldn't do this that or the other...I have to wonder why you continue to engage me in a conversation where I'm only repeating myself.

Oh and if you don't like my advice, tough

[T&T 0]

LisaD,

I agree with you. I think that should be enough for her to think all over again. The truth is always "painful" to some one. If we tell them the truth, they will point out that we are "evil". We only try our best to show her the real world. She herself can answer if her bf and her bf's family still love her in 5 or 10 yrs. Teen boy will get bored with girls very fast, to my experience

With a 16 girl, no education, no home, no money...it would be tough for her there. Her life would be in hell in the US if the "IF" i mentioned was the true.

Again, i think i understand what you have been trying to tell to this girl, LisaD.

T&T

Edited March 8, 2007 by T&T

[DA BOMB 1]

Sorry I must have been imagining things when I read this:

"Sounds to me that you're using your boyfriend as an avenue to escape your life."

and my favourite:

"....if you want to be considered adult enough to marry, you really should act like one...which includes taking control over your own life. You're essentially looking at your bf as your 'way out' cos he's gonna marry you and take care of you, and his family's gonna give you a job."

which is MUCH different than your sugar coated version:

"I said it seems to me she's transferring her dependence from her family to her fiance."

Might I add that you CAN come to the US with no education and no set employment skills. I give credit to all the immigrants (legal AND illegal) who have made this country what it is today. There's a complete history of Mexican immigrants who have worked this land and raised their children who then recieved their education within the United States. This is the land of the free...not of the educated, holders of a PHD or the LisaD's. Why else would YOU want to live here? If education was a requirement it would specify that requirement on the I-129F. If age was a factor there wouldnt be a such thing as parental consent. Long before certificates became essential to impressive resumes people earned as they learned..then were promoted. This still happens today. It happened for me.

Go ahead and be prepared for the sky to fall then share your anxieties so you can save the rest of the world from doom. I on the other hand choose to look on the brighter side of things. (blow sunshine was it?) This doesnt have to be a scary process. Stop making stuff up.

[Fandango 1,439]

Sorry I must have been imagining things when I read this:

"Sounds to me that you're using your boyfriend as an avenue to escape your life."

and my favourite:

"....if you want to be considered adult enough to marry, you really should act like one...which includes taking control over your own life. You're essentially looking at your bf as your 'way out' cos he's gonna marry you and take care of you, and his family's gonna give you a job."

which is MUCH different than your sugar coated version:

"I said it seems to me she's transferring her dependence from her family to her fiance."

Might I add that you CAN come to the US with no education and no set employment skills. I give credit to all the immigrants (legal AND illegal) who have made this country what it is today. There's a complete history of Mexican immigrants who have worked this land and raised their children who then recieved their education within the United States. This is the land of the free...not of the educated, holders of a PHD or the LisaD's. Why else would YOU want to live here? If education was a requirement it would specify that requirement on the I-129F. If age was a factor there wouldnt be a such thing as parental consent. Long before certificates became essential to impressive resumes people earned as they learned..then were promoted. This still happens today. It happened for me.

Go ahead and be prepared for the sky to fall then share your anxieties so you can save the rest of the world from doom. I on the other hand choose to look on the brighter side of things. (blow sunshine was it?) This doesnt have to be a scary process. Stop making stuff up.

get over yourself hon. Things go wrong, people change, people make judgement errors. You of all people should know that. what's this, your second petition?

And you got off lucky.

Sorry for the low blow, but it proves my point.

Oh as far as what I said up there? BANG ON ACCURATE.

here, have a rainbow

[DA BOMB 1]

Sorry I must have been imagining things when I read this:

"Sounds to me that you're using your boyfriend as an avenue to escape your life."

and my favourite:

"....if you want to be considered adult enough to marry, you really should act like one...which includes taking control over your own life. You're essentially looking at your bf as your 'way out' cos he's gonna marry you and take care of you, and his family's gonna give you a job."

which is MUCH different than your sugar coated version:

"I said it seems to me she's transferring her dependence from her family to her fiance."

Might I add that you CAN come to the US with no education and no set employment skills. I give credit to all the immigrants (legal AND illegal) who have made this country what it is today. There's a complete history of Mexican immigrants who have worked this land and raised their children who then recieved their education within the United States. This is the land of the free...not of the educated, holders of a PHD or the LisaD's. Why else would YOU want to live here? If education was a requirement it would specify that requirement on the I-129F. If age was a factor there wouldnt be a such thing as parental consent. Long before certificates became essential to impressive resumes people earned as they learned..then were promoted. This still happens today. It happened for me.

Go ahead and be prepared for the sky to fall then share your anxieties so you can save the rest of the world from doom. I on the other hand choose to look on the brighter side of things. (blow sunshine was it?) This doesnt have to be a scary process. Stop making stuff up.

get over yourself hon. Things go wrong, people change, people make judgement errors. You of all people should know that. what's this, your second petition?

And you got off lucky.

Sorry for the low blow, but it proves my point.

Oh as far as what I said up there? BANG ON ACCURATE.

here, have a rainbow

Thank you.

[Hibara 0]

i am aware of the dangers. of my marriage not working out, of ending up alone, of even being deported, or ending up pregnant (which i do not plan on any time even -remotely- soon. and both my boyfriend and i are pro-choice). but if anyone thinks that the possibilities of things not working out scares me into crawling under a rock and disregarding my hopeful plans, they're really quite wrong. assuming i haven't thought about the consequences is a little dull, i'm not mindless enough to think moving to another country and marrying at 16 doesn't come loaded with equally good and bad possibilities.

i hate to have to quote myself, but it looks like it needs to be done. LisaD, this means i don't actually need any more "warnings" from you or links to divorce forums. so anything you post that's even remotely hinting at either, i'll have heard before, even before i came to this forum, thought about myself, and will be ignored. as i said, i know of the dangers.

and if it doesn't mean anything to you, why exactly are you still posting?

i divulged personal information enough to give people an idea about what my exact position was, and then after, to defend myself from people who were being condescending. but if you recall, i wisened up midway through the thread, since it was clear to me that if i justified my position any more, i'd be attacked.

also, funny how you say this isn't a help desk. like i said before, i've obtained a lot of helpful information from people in this thread, but i'm not talking about "advice" like "oh, it's going to be tough and you probably can't do it."

[Hibara 0]

also, thanks for the fee information! it'll be really useful to give me some idea about how much it's going to cost in the future.

[rebeccajo 14]

Ah.

To be 16 and willful again.

Lord help them.

[Cassie 8]

Ah.

To be 16 and willful again.

Lord help them.

took the thoughts right outta my head, Rebecca

[William33 110]

Hibara,

Do what is right for you and your Fiance. Opinions vary, some relationships last, some don't. Anecdotal evidence suggests

high risk at your age, but that is your choice. Only you two (2) can decide what path to take. Simple as that.

All the best to you.