Kind of complicated story.. ideas appreciated~

[ladykelia 0]

Wow, this sure has raised a lot of controversy. But anyway, I read everyone else's reply, and judgement and assessment aside, here is what I got (in summary):

1) It is possible to get a K1 visa at age 16. There are instructions for this kind of matter on the I-129F form. And you will need your parents written permission.

2) Your age, and the fact that you do not have a formal diploma has a high possibility of raising a red flag to the immigration consulars. Your boyfriend (or another sponsor such as his parents) will need to provide you with ample proof of his ability to financially support you. You will also want to be extremely prepared for the interview, with lots of evidence of your sincere relationship (emails/letters, phone records, pictures together). However, we can not assure you that you will actually be able to get the visa, as that is at the discretion of the officer involved in your case. Because of your situation, the chances of approval are a little bit riskier.

3) You will have to wait until you are 16 at the time of application for the K1. But since you said your boyfriend was visiting you in March, it would be good to wait until then anyway. Make sure he saves all of his boarding passes and other evidence of his visit.

4) This is the wrong forum to ask about the CR1 visa. Personally, I have no idea what that even is. But there *is* a forum on VJ just for that.

5) Other options include:

a- Subsisting on a long distance relationship and finishing up your highschool education, and waiting until you are 18 to apply for a K-1

b- Finding another route to be with your boyfriend such as the CR1, or a student visa, or him moving to Austrailia.

Hope this helps a little. I hope you can find the right path. Good luck!

Edited March 6, 2007 by ladykelia

[tonyeck 0]

Just a quick question... I was always under the impression that sex between a minor and someone who is aged over 20 is classed as "statutory rape".

Would this change after marriage?

[Melyssa 0]

Just a quick question... I was always under the impression that sex between a minor and someone who is aged over 20 is classed as "statutory rape".

Would this change after marriage?

It would have to wouldn't it?

Plus those laws probably depend on the state.

[DA BOMB 1]

Just a quick question... I was always under the impression that sex between a minor and someone who is aged over 20 is classed as "statutory rape".

Would this change after marriage?

It would have to wouldn't it?

Plus those laws probably depend on the state.

This is why she needs the consent form signed from her parents.

[Fandango 1,440]

I usually try to stay far away from these charged threads, but I just have to stick my two cents in here. Unfortunatly I am afraid the person who needs to hear this probably no longer logs into VJ...but in case she is reading, here goes.

When I was 17 (not much older than she) I completely supported myself and have ever since (I'm 33 now). So arguing about what she would do...she would figure it out, like most of us do if and when we fall on our faces.

When my mother was 17 she had to leave her childhood home due to abusive situations that were not just 'teenage drama'. She and her boyfriend quit school and moved together and shortly after, married him. She is still with this man, my father, after 42 years and have 4 grown daughters, 6 grandchildren, and one brand new great-grandchild. Did they rush into things, YES. Was my mom running away from her family, YES. Was it a terrible mistake? I don't think so.

The point I'm tryng to make is who are we to guess the future? This girl needs to make her own choices. I wish I had the answers she was looking for which waas specific to the best way to come to the states to live with her fiance. I'm not saying 15 year olds always make the best decisions, but I am saying that it is her life to live. Not ours. If in her heart of hearts, she feels like she can do this, than who are we to say anything about it? She asked about visa questions. I'm not saying it is innappropriate to offer opinions, but there is a limit to when friendly advice becomes lectures and grand-standing.

To the best of my knowledge, when things are legal, there aren't any red-flags.

Good Luck to you!

I hope everything works out just fine.

Sue

Sue

I for one am not chastising this girl nor am I categorically saying that her relationship is not going to work. But take everything you just said above and add an emigration to a foreign country with possibly no instant work authorization to the mix. No money & at someone else's mercy. It's not some small insignificant factor. Immigration has crumbled the strongest of adults, the most solid of couples. There's a whole forum dedicated to it here for cryin out loud. There's 'oh my partner changed' to 'I'm practically destitute with no where to turn' to 'my cousin's fiancee won't LET her leave to go home' I think Mrs Billy Bong suggested in that thread that the police be called. Really awful situations. And they're all adults who chose these positions. So if grown adults can be 'snowed' by people, are you saying that a 15 year old can't?

I'm not tellin her to do it or not to do it...I'm tellin her 'hey think of this that and the other'...protect herself If someone stops me to asks for driving directions, and I know that the path is treacherous...I'd warn them...hey, you don't have the right tires, or whatever the case may be......would you warn them? Or would you be all 'hey it's your life, it's your own responsibility to know what ya need and make your own choices'

What next? Do we tell a 14 year old how to obtain a fiancee visa that she plans to get on her 16th birthday? 'oh look over here and best of luck on your journey!'

Personally, I'd like to think that if I had a daughter in this predicament, some older wiser people on a forum would take the time out to point out some possible areas of serious concern. And I'd thank God that they did it too

[malka 0]

Hibrara ((I know you're out there)),

Relax. Please come back. Many of us kinda like you. No one here knows your full situation, but there are many who do have some wise words for you, both about your visa paths and your choices. You don't have to take the advice of strangers, but please realize that most people here are giving it because they have seen people make devastating mistakes and they want to be sure that you have some warning before you make these big decisions. Most of us remember being a teenager; one of the things I most remember is the kind of cocky feeling that I knew best. It's a biological part of you at this age that helped coin the phrase "crazy teenagers." You sound like you've had some big growing-up experiences, but that doesn't change the fact that your brain still has some maturing to do over the next few years. I promise you that as the years go by, you'll start to have a whole new appreciation for the life-lessons that others can teach you. In the meantime, you'll do yourself a service by respecting the fact that your hormones ARE affecting your behavior, and by taking your youth and inexperience into serious SERIOUS account when you make plans that will shape the course of your life.

People on this forum and in the real world are going to question your choices because they see potential problems for you. Not because they hate you or wish you evil. Stomping out because you don't like what you hear isn't much proof of your maturity. It's a hard fact that you are going to have to defend your unorthodox choices - maybe not to us, but certainly to immigration officers, employers, landlords, etc., so you might as well make sure that you feel good and strong doing that defending. If you find yourself feeling easily upset, defensive, or angry about it, you might ask yourself why.

Now, my piece of specific advice: try as hard as you can to get your high school diploma while you are still in Australia. I understand that it's very hard, but it will only get harder and along with remaining NOT PREGNANT it should be one of your TOP priorities right now. It would be a great sign of your fiance's maturity and of his interest in your long-term well-being if it were one of his top priorities for you, too. If he makes so much money, maybe he can help you settle somewhere for the school year next year so that you can go to class and get some studying done? You seem bright enough, and I'm sure you could do it, but it will be exponentially harder to do while you're in the States. All that history you've learned throughout school? All those "important historical figures?" Pretty much useless for the American GED. You'll have to learn the US version of things, and a lot more US history. Math problems get solved differently. Papers have a different structure. Science labs have their own methods. Believe me - each country in this world has a TOTALLY different idea of what high school graduates should know. You might as well cash in on all the time you've spent in Australian schools and get through this important milestone before you get to the States.

If you have specific questions about a CR1 visa, go to the forum on this site specifically for that - you'll find lots of information just by reading through others' posts.

Good luck -- really.

[DA BOMB 1]

Most of these responses end up looking like this to the OP : "BLAH BLAH TEENAGER BLAH HORMONES BLAH BLAH GO TO SCHOOL BLAH"

My life...my sister's life..even my mother and grandmother's lives started in our early teens. I have no regrets, I finished up high school through the mail, never went a day to college yet I make a 6 figure income. I have been a single mother for nearly 10 years now and have never relied on one penny from the government or the estranged spouse who walked out on me and my kids. I worked my rear off for what I have established and I started by making my choices when I was living on my own at the age of 14. I worked under the table doing lawncare until 15 1/2 then I was able to get a legitimate job. I rented a room until I was able to rent an apartment. The rest is history but I did this on my own and the world was just as foreign to me as it would be for a person moving here from another country.

When you're young and thrown into the world to make decisions on your own, you go into survival mode whether your brain is fully matured or not. She stomped out of this forum because she was getting the third degree for being too young....not answers to her questions. She asked for guidance and was instead ridiculed. She made her choice before she posted. She was only here for visa options on how to pursue her path.

Edited March 6, 2007 by MRS BILLY BONG

[JamesT 12]

I just briefly skimmed through all 5+ pages of this thread, and I've gotta say all you folks who try to give relationship advice and your opinions on what a 15-year old should be doing with her life should be ashamed of yourselves! That's obviously not why the OP came her and posted her questions. She wanted advice on how to get a visa, not lectures on what she should be doing in her personal life!

[Fandango 1,440]

I just briefly skimmed through all 5+ pages of this thread, and I've gotta say all you folks who try to give relationship advice and your opinions on what a 15-year old should be doing with her life should be ashamed of yourselves! That's obviously not why the OP came her and posted her questions. She wanted advice on how to get a visa, not lectures on what she should be doing in her personal life!

Ok, let's play this game. You then should 'be ashamed for giving us advice and giving your opinions of what a vj poster should be doing.' Not to mention you're sat here judging us for being judgemental...as well as freely admitting you're judging us based on a 'brief skim' of the posts.

But that's ok, eh?

The bottom line is, this is a community of people, not a paid immigration help desk. We're going to interject personal opinion..cos let's face it, this site is based on opinion. Other than one outburst on this thread, everyone here has been very respectful. No one's flaming the OP or anything like that....I see a bunch of people trying to enlighten someone that this may not be as easy as she may think. And I think that's pretty great.

Cos if she goes away from this and it forces her to think of how she can best protect herself during and after this process, then it was all worth it. You see it as judgement...I see it as well-meaning food for thought from people who know the process and the ramifications just that much better...and are trying to point out very important issues that the OP needs to address.

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

While I agree some have better attitudes, I'll be the first to admit that securing good, decent employment without even a COLLEGE degree is hard in today's workforce. I was lucky and happened to fall into a job that paid a liveable income, but depending on the location, etc. it's not always that easy. I empathize with her - I really do. I've been in situations where running always seemed the only viable option, but problems follow you. I think that LisaD's advice should really be heeded - as far as the transference of dependence. The poster below you mentioned her getting raked over the coals and being judged due to her age - it's a big deal, as we all know, starting over in a new country, esp at 16 with no marketable skills. I'd advise being on your own in a familiar place first (which I didn't do, and I wish I'd had the opportunity) so when the OP got here, she'd at least be able to survive if things went awry. Transferring her dependence to the boyfriend is going to be an awful stress on him too - after all, he's only 20.

She was asking about marriage, and how she'd be 16 in April and her parents would give her permission to marry, and that's legal in her country and his state - it seemed very much she was planning on marriage at 16 to me. I know the person I was at 16 and the person I am now (and it's only been 4 years) are too very different versions of the same person - and the 16 year old version couldn't handle a lot of things I can now. I feel that this is probably why teenage marriage statistics are so leveling, and the odds of that type of marriage are working out are not in the OP's favor. And that's probably why she received the advice she did from so many people - to wait, try a student visa.

More power to her if she makes it work. I always wish everyone the best of luck with their loved ones, but the trials that will be endured are not easy, especially with a foreign spouse involved. It would have been hard in the best of circumstances, but dealing with AOS, etc. add stress, not take it away. I just felt she deserved a fair warning that it wasn't a walk in the park and it wasn't as easy as she envisioned with her preconceived "answers" to every problem.

Had I not seen your post that you edited rather quickly earlier in the thread, I would have thought you were actually sincere....

[malka 0]

I just briefly skimmed through all 5+ pages of this thread, and I've gotta say all you folks who try to give relationship advice and your opinions on what a 15-year old should be doing with her life should be ashamed of yourselves! That's obviously not why the OP came her and posted her questions. She wanted advice on how to get a visa, not lectures on what she should be doing in her personal life!

Ok, let's play this game. You then should 'be ashamed for giving us advice and giving your opinions of what a vj poster should be doing.' Not to mention you're sat here judging us for being judgemental...as well as freely admitting you're judging us based on a 'brief skim' of the posts.

But that's ok, eh?

The bottom line is, this is a community of people, not a paid immigration help desk. We're going to interject personal opinion..cos let's face it, this site is based on opinion. Other than one outburst on this thread, everyone here has been very respectful. No one's flaming the OP or anything like that....I see a bunch of people trying to enlighten someone that this may not be as easy as she may think. And I think that's pretty great.

Cos if she goes away from this and it forces her to think of how she can best protect herself during and after this process, then it was all worth it. You see it as judgement...I see it as well-meaning food for thought from people who know the process and the ramifications just that much better...and are trying to point out very important issues that the OP needs to address.

[athena_ny 1]

I am sincere, even though what was said in the edited post holds true. This thread IS a trainwreck for a multitude of reasons. Which would be why I'm no longer commenting...so your point is moot.

While I agree some have better attitudes, I'll be the first to admit that securing good, decent employment without even a COLLEGE degree is hard in today's workforce. I was lucky and happened to fall into a job that paid a liveable income, but depending on the location, etc. it's not always that easy. I empathize with her - I really do. I've been in situations where running always seemed the only viable option, but problems follow you. I think that LisaD's advice should really be heeded - as far as the transference of dependence. The poster below you mentioned her getting raked over the coals and being judged due to her age - it's a big deal, as we all know, starting over in a new country, esp at 16 with no marketable skills. I'd advise being on your own in a familiar place first (which I didn't do, and I wish I'd had the opportunity) so when the OP got here, she'd at least be able to survive if things went awry. Transferring her dependence to the boyfriend is going to be an awful stress on him too - after all, he's only 20.

She was asking about marriage, and how she'd be 16 in April and her parents would give her permission to marry, and that's legal in her country and his state - it seemed very much she was planning on marriage at 16 to me. I know the person I was at 16 and the person I am now (and it's only been 4 years) are too very different versions of the same person - and the 16 year old version couldn't handle a lot of things I can now. I feel that this is probably why teenage marriage statistics are so leveling, and the odds of that type of marriage are working out are not in the OP's favor. And that's probably why she received the advice she did from so many people - to wait, try a student visa.

More power to her if she makes it work. I always wish everyone the best of luck with their loved ones, but the trials that will be endured are not easy, especially with a foreign spouse involved. It would have been hard in the best of circumstances, but dealing with AOS, etc. add stress, not take it away. I just felt she deserved a fair warning that it wasn't a walk in the park and it wasn't as easy as she envisioned with her preconceived "answers" to every problem.

Had I not seen your post that you edited rather quickly earlier in the thread, I would have thought you were actually sincere....

Edited March 6, 2007 by meow mix

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

I am sincere, even though what was said in the edited post holds true. This thread IS a trainwreck for a multitude of reasons. Which would be why I'm no longer commenting...so your point is moot.

Changed your tune pretty fast huh??

[fozzie 41]

The "big deal" that we've tried to get this girl to understand is that the USCIS most likely have issue with their petition, given her age and all. Never mind that she will be legal at 16. Can't you people seem to understand that cases like this can sometimes give rise to possible fraud i.e using someone to come to the States? Yes, I read all of her post. Yes, I have read that she loves her bf and his family loves her. They will have to PROVE it in a big way I'd wager. I didn't judge this girl, I only gave mature advice and a realistic view of how expensive this whole process is. Coming here with no education is a dangerous thing too, and what IF things fall apart...there IS that to consider as I'm sure many of y'all on here have read stories. Just look at the forum Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits. There are stories of good relationships gone bad. Most of us were trying to get this girl to look at this realistically.

Now, judge me on that.

Wow...relax already. Do you have any kind of proof that backs up your theory that this can SOMETIMES give rise to possible fraud? Or better yet that the USC will most likely have issues with their petition? Its legal for her to marry in the USC's state at the age of 16. Legal. This we know. Her parents are giving consent. That consent goes in the petition. Im not seeing what the problem is. She seems intelligent enough to take into consideration the costs both financially and emotionally. Oh and last I read she already had a mother...I dont understand why you're so obsessed with her welfare.

[athena_ny 1]

Didn't change my tune at all. I can hope for the best for the OP the same way I can wish the victims of a trainwreck the best...doesn't mean I don't stop and stare.

I am sincere, even though what was said in the edited post holds true. This thread IS a trainwreck for a multitude of reasons. Which would be why I'm no longer commenting...so your point is moot.

Changed your tune pretty fast huh??