Kind of complicated story.. ideas appreciated~

[Fandango 1,439]

at what point did i openly say that i wanted anyone to give me a "go get a K1!" response?

as far as i knew, at the point i posted the topic, this was the place that had the best chance of giving me some idea of which road i should head down, be it K1 or a different type of visa. i never said i was only open to one, and if you read the entire topic, you would have noticed that i posted a short while back saying that the CR1 option looked like the best idea, but i still wasn't sure how to go about it.

i'm not using my boyfriend as an escape, i love him and his family, and have done for almost a year and a half. i admit freely i want out of here, but who exactly are you to judge me when you don't know my exact circumstances at home?

in a couple of weeks he'll be here for two weeks, and then when my passport is renewed, i'll be visiting him for as long as i can stay on a tourist visa.

so right now, this isn't immediate.

thank you to everyone who has provided me with information i can use, as opposed to namecallers and people intent on analyzing my motives.

i won't be posting here anymore.

If you didn't want any part of your personal life to be commented on, then don't bring it up. Stop lashing out in a strop cos you got some words you didn't want to hear. You should be thankful that there are well meaning people on this board who apparantly empathised enough with you to make us want to take time out to give you a few experienced words. But if you bring it up information as relevant to the conversation, then people will comment on it. It's not a judgement, it's thoughtful and well-intentioned advice. You may think you are mature enough to handle all this...and whatever, it's your life...you don't want to take the benefit of some very wise words, that's fine.

I will say it again because I feel it's important enough to....you're transferring your dependence from your family to your fiancee and his family. And when you come here, you are completely at their mercy. Ask yourself this then: can you take care of yourself should you move here and your relationship fall apart and you left with no one but yourself? THAT'S the question you need to think about. Not saying your relationship will fail...who knows....but if your answer is 'I dunno what I'd do'....then you need to start making some hardcore preparations for this endeavor of yours, cos if you think it's all a walk in the park and exotic and exciting....well, it is exciting, but it's also going to be probably the most stressful & scary things you'll ever do in your life.

And as Lauren said...if you want immigration information empty of personal opinion...try a lawyer. We're just people who are living it.

Please let go of the anger at being 'judged' long enough to realize just how important this is. Despite what you may think, I do wish you the best of luck in making the best choice possible.

Edited March 5, 2007 by LisaD

[bobdobbs 0]

Please do not come to the US without at least a high school education. We don't need any more uneducated citizens. Unless you want to break your back working under the hot sun in a field picking produce and live a very honorable but otherwise miserable life you would only become another leech on the system and an uninformed voter. Why do you think we are currently in the mess we are in over here?

And as for getting married at the age of 16, I would guess you are doing this to run away from family or other problems. You will find that those problems will follow you to the US. We don't need those problems here either. Get your education, make good with your family or cut ties with them if the relationship is permanently unhealthy (still far too soon to know yet, all 16 year olds hate their parents), figure out who you really are (at 16 I guarantee you don't know yet), then consider marriage and a new life in the US.

[Melyssa 0]

Please do not come to the US without at least a high school education. We don't need any more uneducated citizens. Unless you want to break your back working under the hot sun in a field picking produce and live a very honorable but otherwise miserable life you would only become another leech on the system and an uninformed voter. Why do you think we are currently in the mess we are in over here?

And as for getting married at the age of 16, I would guess you are doing this to run away from family or other problems. You will find that those problems will follow you to the US. We don't need those problems here either. Get your education, make good with your family or cut ties with them if the relationship is permanently unhealthy (still far too soon to know yet, all 16 year olds hate their parents), figure out who you really are (at 16 I guarantee you don't know yet), then consider marriage and a new life in the US.

Now I don't know if that's quite true! And sometimes, people who don't have a high school education have attitudes that are a lot better than people who have university degrees...

I think these statements are too general! She didn't say she was planning on getting married at the age of 16; she was just asking about her options.

[JoeMama 0]

Please do not come to the US without at least a high school education. We don't need any more uneducated citizens. Unless you want to break your back working under the hot sun in a field picking produce and live a very honorable but otherwise miserable life you would only become another leech on the system and an uninformed voter. Why do you think we are currently in the mess we are in over here?

And as for getting married at the age of 16, I would guess you are doing this to run away from family or other problems. You will find that those problems will follow you to the US. We don't need those problems here either. Get your education, make good with your family or cut ties with them if the relationship is permanently unhealthy (still far too soon to know yet, all 16 year olds hate their parents), figure out who you really are (at 16 I guarantee you don't know yet), then consider marriage and a new life in the US.

Now I don't know if that's quite true! And sometimes, people who don't have a high school education have attitudes that are a lot better than people who have university degrees...

I think these statements are too general! She didn't say she was planning on getting married at the age of 16; she was just asking about her options.

Bravo melytha! I absolutely agree with you about this girl. This poor girl really got raked over the coals for really no reason. No one here are her parents and we haven't walked in her shoes. She got judge fairly harsh in most replies to her post. She only wanted information. Instead, most turned her into Joan of Ark and burned her at the stake going by her age.

[DA BOMB 1]

at what point did i openly say that i wanted anyone to give me a "go get a K1!" response?

as far as i knew, at the point i posted the topic, this was the place that had the best chance of giving me some idea of which road i should head down, be it K1 or a different type of visa. i never said i was only open to one, and if you read the entire topic, you would have noticed that i posted a short while back saying that the CR1 option looked like the best idea, but i still wasn't sure how to go about it.

i'm not using my boyfriend as an escape, i love him and his family, and have done for almost a year and a half. i admit freely i want out of here, but who exactly are you to judge me when you don't know my exact circumstances at home?

in a couple of weeks he'll be here for two weeks, and then when my passport is renewed, i'll be visiting him for as long as i can stay on a tourist visa.

so right now, this isn't immediate.

thank you to everyone who has provided me with information i can use, as opposed to namecallers and people intent on analyzing my motives.

i won't be posting here anymore.

You go girl.

[JenT 0]

I've been resisting the urge to post because I feel the same way about this as LisaD does...

Back to your original post, if you're still around reading these replies, your work experience has nothing to do with whether a K1 visa would be granted, and the age difference in and of itself wouldn't be an issue were you not so young. You will likely be closely scruntized for it.

...

I started to type more of a reply but decided I was wasting my time. You're not interested in learning from our life experiences. You think you know better and have it all figured out. I hope things turn out for you the way you wish them to.

Alas, life doesn't always meet our expectations.

[athena_ny 1]

While I agree some have better attitudes, I'll be the first to admit that securing good, decent employment without even a COLLEGE degree is hard in today's workforce. I was lucky and happened to fall into a job that paid a liveable income, but depending on the location, etc. it's not always that easy. I empathize with her - I really do. I've been in situations where running always seemed the only viable option, but problems follow you. I think that LisaD's advice should really be heeded - as far as the transference of dependence. The poster below you mentioned her getting raked over the coals and being judged due to her age - it's a big deal, as we all know, starting over in a new country, esp at 16 with no marketable skills. I'd advise being on your own in a familiar place first (which I didn't do, and I wish I'd had the opportunity) so when the OP got here, she'd at least be able to survive if things went awry. Transferring her dependence to the boyfriend is going to be an awful stress on him too - after all, he's only 20.

She was asking about marriage, and how she'd be 16 in April and her parents would give her permission to marry, and that's legal in her country and his state - it seemed very much she was planning on marriage at 16 to me. I know the person I was at 16 and the person I am now (and it's only been 4 years) are too very different versions of the same person - and the 16 year old version couldn't handle a lot of things I can now. I feel that this is probably why teenage marriage statistics are so leveling, and the odds of that type of marriage are working out are not in the OP's favor. And that's probably why she received the advice she did from so many people - to wait, try a student visa.

More power to her if she makes it work. I always wish everyone the best of luck with their loved ones, but the trials that will be endured are not easy, especially with a foreign spouse involved. It would have been hard in the best of circumstances, but dealing with AOS, etc. add stress, not take it away. I just felt she deserved a fair warning that it wasn't a walk in the park and it wasn't as easy as she envisioned with her preconceived "answers" to every problem.

Please do not come to the US without at least a high school education. We don't need any more uneducated citizens. Unless you want to break your back working under the hot sun in a field picking produce and live a very honorable but otherwise miserable life you would only become another leech on the system and an uninformed voter. Why do you think we are currently in the mess we are in over here?

And as for getting married at the age of 16, I would guess you are doing this to run away from family or other problems. You will find that those problems will follow you to the US. We don't need those problems here either. Get your education, make good with your family or cut ties with them if the relationship is permanently unhealthy (still far too soon to know yet, all 16 year olds hate their parents), figure out who you really are (at 16 I guarantee you don't know yet), then consider marriage and a new life in the US.

Now I don't know if that's quite true! And sometimes, people who don't have a high school education have attitudes that are a lot better than people who have university degrees...

I think these statements are too general! She didn't say she was planning on getting married at the age of 16; she was just asking about her options.

[DA BOMB 1]

"At the moment, I'm a 15 year old Australian girl engaged to a 20 year old US citizen. I'll be turning 16 on the 13th of April, and I'm wondering how I can go about getting a visa to be able to live with him. When I turn 16, I'll be legal in my country, and also in his state. To get married we'll need consent from my parents, which is no problem, as they've already agreed. I know it sounds controversial, but I'm really worried about which visa path I take, because I don't want to screw anything up for myself and not be able to come over to the US."

When she's 16 its legal in the US state and also in her country...whats the big deal about?

[JoeMama 0]

"At the moment, I'm a 15 year old Australian girl engaged to a 20 year old US citizen. I'll be turning 16 on the 13th of April, and I'm wondering how I can go about getting a visa to be able to live with him. When I turn 16, I'll be legal in my country, and also in his state. To get married we'll need consent from my parents, which is no problem, as they've already agreed. I know it sounds controversial, but I'm really worried about which visa path I take, because I don't want to screw anything up for myself and not be able to come over to the US."

When she's 16 its legal in the US state and also in her country...whats the big deal about?

I agree. What is the big deal about? If her country and the state where she plans to marry her fiance' and live, they must think she's adult enough to make life-decisions for herself. In my experience, regardless of what is said to someone, they'll still do whatever their minds tell them to do whether it's right or wrong for them and no matter how many people are breathing down their necks. I can see the best intentions were set forth to shed some light that going through this process isn't a walk in the park. I was just annoyed seeing how rough people were toward her and how she was personally attacked in a negative way based on her age alone.

[DA BOMB 1]

"At the moment, I'm a 15 year old Australian girl engaged to a 20 year old US citizen. I'll be turning 16 on the 13th of April, and I'm wondering how I can go about getting a visa to be able to live with him. When I turn 16, I'll be legal in my country, and also in his state. To get married we'll need consent from my parents, which is no problem, as they've already agreed. I know it sounds controversial, but I'm really worried about which visa path I take, because I don't want to screw anything up for myself and not be able to come over to the US."

When she's 16 its legal in the US state and also in her country...whats the big deal about?

I agree. What is the big deal about? If her country and the state where she plans to marry her fiance' and live, they must think she's adult enough to make life-decisions for herself. In my experience, regardless of what is said to someone, they'll still do whatever their minds tell them to do whether it's right or wrong for them and no matter how many people are breathing down their necks. I can see the best intentions were set forth to shed some light that going through this process isn't a walk in the park. I was just annoyed seeing how rough people were toward her and how she was personally attacked in a negative way based on her age alone.

Im wondering if she'd have any problems with a K1. If she got consent from her parents and all was legal in both countries then its a sure shot. Sometimes getting an answer from this forum is like trying to squeeze water from a rock. Must be the maternal side kicking in for some.

[Melyssa 0]

While I agree some have better attitudes, I'll be the first to admit that securing good, decent employment without even a COLLEGE degree is hard in today's workforce.

No one was saying that wasn't usually true.

And that's probably why she received the advice she did from so many people - to wait, try a student visa.

Yes - she also stated clearly at one point that she ended up thinking another type of visa was the best option (besides the K1) - she didn't say that she was planning to get married when she was 16, she just suggested it as a possible option.

And I agree about the ''fair warnings'' it's just that some people were far too harsh and assuming things that weren't necessarily true.

[KarenCee 3]

The "big deal" that we've tried to get this girl to understand is that the USCIS most likely have issue with their petition, given her age and all. Never mind that she will be legal at 16. Can't you people seem to understand that cases like this can sometimes give rise to possible fraud i.e using someone to come to the States? Yes, I read all of her post. Yes, I have read that she loves her bf and his family loves her. They will have to PROVE it in a big way I'd wager. I didn't judge this girl, I only gave mature advice and a realistic view of how expensive this whole process is. Coming here with no education is a dangerous thing too, and what IF things fall apart...there IS that to consider as I'm sure many of y'all on here have read stories. Just look at the forum Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits. There are stories of good relationships gone bad. Most of us were trying to get this girl to look at this realistically.

Now, judge me on that.

[DA BOMB 1]

The "big deal" that we've tried to get this girl to understand is that the USCIS most likely have issue with their petition, given her age and all. Never mind that she will be legal at 16. Can't you people seem to understand that cases like this can sometimes give rise to possible fraud i.e using someone to come to the States? Yes, I read all of her post. Yes, I have read that she loves her bf and his family loves her. They will have to PROVE it in a big way I'd wager. I didn't judge this girl, I only gave mature advice and a realistic view of how expensive this whole process is. Coming here with no education is a dangerous thing too, and what IF things fall apart...there IS that to consider as I'm sure many of y'all on here have read stories. Just look at the forum Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits. There are stories of good relationships gone bad. Most of us were trying to get this girl to look at this realistically.

Now, judge me on that.

Wow...relax already. Do you have any kind of proof that backs up your theory that this can SOMETIMES give rise to possible fraud? Or better yet that the USC will most likely have issues with their petition? Its legal for her to marry in the USC's state at the age of 16. Legal. This we know. Her parents are giving consent. That consent goes in the petition. Im not seeing what the problem is. She seems intelligent enough to take into consideration the costs both financially and emotionally. Oh and last I read she already had a mother...I dont understand why you're so obsessed with her welfare.

[GrenadianCrix 1]

I usually try to stay far away from these charged threads, but I just have to stick my two cents in here. Unfortunatly I am afraid the person who needs to hear this probably no longer logs into VJ...but in case she is reading, here goes.

When I was 17 (not much older than she) I completely supported myself and have ever since (I'm 33 now). So arguing about what she would do...she would figure it out, like most of us do if and when we fall on our faces.

When my mother was 17 she had to leave her childhood home due to abusive situations that were not just 'teenage drama'. She and her boyfriend quit school and moved together and shortly after, married him. She is still with this man, my father, after 42 years and have 4 grown daughters, 6 grandchildren, and one brand new great-grandchild. Did they rush into things, YES. Was my mom running away from her family, YES. Was it a terrible mistake? I don't think so.

The point I'm tryng to make is who are we to guess the future? This girl needs to make her own choices. I wish I had the answers she was looking for which waas specific to the best way to come to the states to live with her fiance. I'm not saying 15 year olds always make the best decisions, but I am saying that it is her life to live. Not ours. If in her heart of hearts, she feels like she can do this, than who are we to say anything about it? She asked about visa questions. I'm not saying it is innappropriate to offer opinions, but there is a limit to when friendly advice becomes lectures and grand-standing.

To the best of my knowledge, when things are legal, there aren't any red-flags.

Good Luck to you!

I hope everything works out just fine.

Sue

[T&T 0]

MRS BILLY BONG,

I do not think a 16 teenager who decided to get married (K1 visa is for getting married within 90 days and she WANTS TO QUIT HER LIFE in Australia to find another life in the US) is considered as smart enough! We should try our best to help her recognize the real world out there. With all of my heart, i wish for this girl would never look back and say "damage, i so regret...!"

PS: Help her to come back with school and find some studying program in the US that might help her to reunite with her honey soon! Be strong and you will be successful girl ...